Liam

 

Alex lived in a cabin not far from mine. Rarely did we drive between places because we usually had a board or skis strapped to our feet, but tonight was different.

The first rays of the sun were beginning to crest over the mountain, turning the night sky into a peach-hued dawn. Stars still dotted overhead, and the massive amounts of snow the blizzard brought in covered everything.

My truck drove as though the snow wasn’t even there, the headlights bouncing off the wooden A-frame exterior of his place when I pulled up. I barely had the truck in park when Bellamy reached for the door handle.

We hadn’t spoken at all. There was an awkward charged silence between us, having only disappeared when I was inside her in the shower.

I knew I shouldn’t, but her body had just been too hard to deny. The comfort I found in her was the only thing that tethered me to sanity.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I said, voice gruff.

She paused, her body leaning toward mine even though she didn’t glance around. “You don’t have to rush.”

The muscle in the side of my jaw ticked. “She just needs a little time…” My voice drifted away.

Breath whooshed out of her, and with it came words. “She blames me, Liam. I wouldn’t want to see me either.”

My eyes closed, hands gripping the steering wheel tight, when what I really wanted was to reach for her. “Bellamy.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “Go be with her. She’s your family.”

My eyes snapped open and head flew toward where she sat. She wasn’t looking at me, though, but out the windshield. A small sound ripped from her throat, and the truck door flung open, ripped out of her hand by the winter wind.

“Charlie!” she cried and scrambled down from the cab.

Alex was standing in the door of his place, loose sweats covering his frame. The dog bounded off the porch, barking, and beelined for Bells. They met at the front of the truck, the headlights creating a spotlight on the pair as they reunited.

Bellamy flung her arms around the giant dog’s neck and buried her face in his fur. Charlie’s tail beat so hard against the snow it drifted up around them.

Bellamy’s shoulders shook a little beneath her coat, and my throat constricted. I couldn’t even imagine what she’d gone through last night.

And here you are leaving her with your best friend.

She pulled back from the dog, and he lapped her face with his slobbery tongue. Bellamy wiped at her cheeks, and I knew it was tears she swiped away, not the dog drool.

Alex called out, and they both looked up and started to the porch.

His lips moved when she drew close, and her head bobbed. Alex unfolded his arms and pulled her in, tucking her body against his.

Through the windshield, our eyes met and held. Even from this distance, I saw the sorrow in his face, the solidarity he represented. He’d been close to my dad, too. We were all grieving right now.

Still holding on to my girl, his stare stayed on me. Slowly, he nodded with promise of watching out for her while I was with Mom.

Why did I always feel so torn? Torn between Bellamy and everything else.

The truck reversed with ease. Snow blew around a bit, and a few branches wobbled under the weight of the white. Alex stayed in the doorway, Bellamy bundled in his arms.

The second I put the truck in drive, I saw her body flinch, as if me leaving caused her physical pain.

Instantaneously, I slammed the gear in park. The Extreme wobbled a little as I threw open the door and jumped down. My shoulder throbbed, but I kind of liked the pain. It kept me grounded to the here and now.

The several feet of snow underfoot was of no consequence. It certainly wasn’t enough to keep me from making a beeline right for my girl.

Alex leaned down and whispered something beside her ear, and she jerked away from him to spin around with wide eyes. When she saw me stalking forward, emotion broke over her face and she started to run. Bellamy rushed across the deck, and I held out my arms, gesturing for her to come home.

Without a single moment’s hesitation, she leaped off the top step as I rushed forward and caught her around the waist. Her thighs clamped around my body, her arms around my neck.

“You’re my family, too,” I said, rough.

“Even still?” she asked, her eyes searching mine.

“Oh, baby, even still.”

Tears fell, creating glistening tracks down her cheeks. I wiped them away, feeling some of the distance between us crumble.

“I’m coming back for you.” I vowed. “We’re gonna talk this out.”

Chemistry and unspoken thoughts and feelings ebbed and flowed around us, the emotion swirling so raw and tangible I could practically taste it.

“Don’t give up on me,” I rasped, the plea bubbling up from the darkest fear inside me.

“I won’t ever,” she whispered.

I filled my hands with her ass and leaned up. She met me halfway, our lips brushing in a tender kiss. Everything inside me went quiet for long, precious moments. Relief made me go slack. My lips fell away, our foreheads pressing together.

I knew I should say more, but the words were lodged in my throat, and no matter how many times I swallowed, I couldn’t unstick them.

I loved her so goddamn much. She deserved better than me. Better than a man who couldn’t protect her.

Reluctantly, I pulled back. “I have to go.”

“I know.”

Instead of putting her down, I walked a few feet, carried her up the stairs, and then placed her on the deck.

Alex shifted in the doorway. I glanced over her shoulder at my best friend. Lightly, he tapped the center of his chest with his fist.

I returned the gesture.

It hurt when I left her standing there on the porch. I felt her stare as I left.

I would come back for her. We would talk this out…

I just wasn’t sure if words would be enough.