Once a month, five or six of my friends got together to play poker and enjoy the company of fellow alphas and escape from the daily bullshit. We sat around my custom-made, felt-lined poker table smoking top of the line cigars, drinking scotch and dealing cards.

Tonight the conversation was directed at me because of my unbelievable tolerance for putting up with this crazy omega. A bet was a bet though, and I needed to put up with the crazy to land this deal. They all knew about the bet, but they still liked to tease me. I think it made them all feel better about their own crazy omegas at home.

“Feeling lucky tonight?” I asked around the table.

“Luckier than you having to sit through an entire Celine Dion concert,” Glen teased and the whole table laughed at my expense.

“Yeah, yeah, well that’s what true love is about. You’ll see who’s laughing after I win this bet and land this account,” I announced to the boys.

My friend from college, Romano, finished shuffling and began to deal out the cards. We went around the table taking first bets. I took a deep puff from my cigar and washed it down with my ten year aged scotch. It was nice to have a night off, especially one without an omega around.

The boys all groaned, except Tony who had won the hand’s pot. He gloated in triumph and the rest of us threw our cards down on top of the table.

“Damn, Tony, you sure came back from last month’s defeat,” I shook my head then looked up over my shoulder as I heard the lock click open on my front door. I turned around fully in my chair as the boys looked over at me in confusion.

The door swung open and Andy came barging through with a plate full of finger sandwiches. “Honey, I’m home,” he sang through my kitchen.

I looked back at the guys who all had their lower lips pulled back and eyebrows raised in caution and concern for what was about to happen next.

“Hi babe,” he smiled sweetly entering the room then headed straight into the kitchen. Everyone looked shocked and appalled.

“He has a key?” Tony whispered in my ear.

“Not that I knew of…” I took a deep breath, “I wasn’t expecting you, Andy. How did you get a…key?” I called into the kitchen, shaking my head in disbelief to the boys.

“Your doorman made me a copy. He’s just the sweetest, isn’t he?” I heard dishes being moved around in my kitchen.

“Yes, he is,” I said lying through my teeth.

He came out from the kitchen holding his plate of finger sandwiches, sporting an awful fuzzy pink sweater and matching fuzzy pink boots. “I brought snacks,” he said with a glowing smile.

No one in the room spoke so Andy took it upon himself to stretch out his hand and introduce himself to the entire table. He shook Romano’s hand so vigorously he almost spilt Tony’s beer all over the table. Tony caught it last minute.

“Oops, be careful, Tony,” Andy chimed, then walked over to Tony’s side placing a hand on his hip like an upset mother. Tony said nothing and instead took a bite of pizza that we had ordered earlier. Andy waved his finger. “No, icky, icky pizza, Tony.” He continued to remove the pizza from Tony’s hand and replace it with a tiny finger sandwich. “Yummy, yummy, cucumber sandwich.” Andy smiled and placed the plate on top of the poker table inconveniencing everyone to move their cards and chips, but he didn’t seem to notice or care.

I watched Glen regretfully take a finger sandwich. He took one bite and his face turned sour. He forcefully swallowed the bite hoping Andy hadn’t noticed the look of distaste on his face.

I gathered my composure and tried to ignore Andy completely so I wouldn’t lose my cool. It was my turn to deal the cards so I turned my attention back to shuffling. Andy still stood perched behind Tony’s chair, looking at me with his sapphire eyes. I took a puff of my delicious cigar and exhaled out to relax. Andy immediately began to cough excessively and wave his hand in front of his face to dissipate the smoke from in front of him.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. This was too far, it was my poker night and my night with the alphas. I unwillingly put the cigar out. Andy stared down the rest of the table with a look that implied for everyone else to do the same.

The cigars went out and the mood was at an all-time low with Andy lurking over top of us. The boys were mad, and I was furious, but we all managed to keep our cool. It wasn’t just me who had a lot riding on this, Tony and Glen did as well. So we all kept our mouths shut.

Andy took in a deep breath of air, “Ahhh, much better, thanks boys.” he smiled a toothless smile, clearly pleased with himself and walked back into the kitchen, swaying his butt cheeks from side to side as he walked.

We took the moment of freedom to return to our game even though Andy was still distracting us by making all kinds of weird noises from the kitchen. Just as the game started to get going again, Andy returned from the kitchen holding a tissue.

“Benny Boo, time to blow,” He said as he held the tissue up to my nose.

“What?” I stared at the tissue in front of me in disbelief and embarrassment.

“Blow, no one likes a Sicky Benny,” He spoke in an intolerable baby voice that made my skin crawl.

“No, no one likes a Sicky Benny,” Tony said from behind his cards, giggling slightly.

The rest of the alphas joined in the laugh, trying to conceal it from Andy, who was so in his own world he didn’t notice they were laughing at him.

I reluctantly blew into the tissue in front of all my friends. Omega shaming was one thing, but alpha shaming was not, and this was humiliatingly shameful.

After I blew into the tissue, Andy opened it up to look inside, “It’s white. Good all healthy.” He patted me on top of the head. I did not appreciate this motherly role he was adapting into my poker night.

My tolerance was beginning to fade completely, but Andy wasn’t finished yet. After declaring me healthy he turned towards the shelf next to the TV, where I had placed his ‘love fern’ and left it unattended for just a few days.

Upon the sight of the fern Andy dropped to his knees. He let out an insufferable high-pitched scream, “Benny, how could you?” He wailed at the top of his lungs with tears already forming in his eyes as he pointed to the dried out fern with a shaky finger.

I held my jaw open not knowing what to say. Andy got up and walked around the table towards the fern. He picked it up off the shelf, holding it close to his chest like a baby.

“You let it die?” He asked sharply. “Are you going to let us die too?” He furrowed his brow in concern and wiped a remaining tear off his face.

“Hey, come on now, Andy. It’s not dead. It’s just ahh…. sleeping.” I knew there was nothing I could say to get out of this without harm.

“That’s it, Ben!” he turned fiercely on his heels and stomped towards the door. “I’m leaving and I’m taking this with me!” He clutched the fern in his arms and held it tightly to his chest.

I stood up to chase after him but an overwhelming feeling of is this worth it came over me. I reached my arm out as a gesture to stop him, but his back was already turned. He reached for the door handle and I watched him leave with the ‘love fern’ in his arms.

For a moment I was relieved but then a weird feeling came rushing into my body. I felt numb and a little queasy. Watching him leave didn’t make me feel as happy as I thought it would.

I stood there paralyzed with mixed emotions until Tony and Glen snapped me out of it by shaking my arms frantically.

“Ben! What are you doing? Go after him!” They shouted at me. I snapped back to the present and shook the emotions out of my head. “You better go stop him or this bet is off!”

Without a second thought I ran through the door after Andy and caught him at the elevator. “Andy!” He twirled around and changed the look on his face at the sight of me. “Andy, what happened back there?” I tried reasoning with him.

“It’s simple Ben, you don’t care about us and you never will,” He said as he turned his nose up into the air.

“Us?” I questioned, “Are you referring to the plant?”

Andy’s mouth dropped open. “See! Right there, you think I’m a crazy person!”

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Andy, but I think you’re acting a little absurd, yes. What happened to the fun, sexy, smart Andy who wants to become a serious journalist? Where is that Andy?”

“Well apparently, according to you, he’s not here anymore. So I’m guessing we’re over now?”

My stomach curled and I felt vomit rise in my throat when I heard the words over now. I was too shocked to say anything at all, so I lifted my arms in compliance, “I guess so.” The elevator doors closed and I shook my head in defeat.

When I returned to my apartment I saw Tony and Glen looking at me with hopeful eyes. “So?” They both shouted in unison. They saw the look of defeat in my eyes and took no hesitation to give me a serious reality check. They pulled me into the kitchen away from the rest of the guys.

“What are you saying Ben? There are only four days left of this bet! What are you thinking?” Glen said as he continuously shook my arm.

“You saw him! He’s a one-man circus show!” I shouted in defense.

“So what? You know how much we have riding on this,” Tony barked at me.

“Well, what do you want me to do?” I asked, but inside I was weirdly more upset about actually losing Andy than losing this bet. I was too confused to think about my next action.

“Ahh..ahh..” the boys paced around my kitchen humming and hawing, trying think up a plan of action, fast.

“Couples therapy!” Glen finally shouted. “Whenever Omar threatens divorce, couples therapy always buys me a couple days until he forgets what we’re fighting about.”

“Couples therapy…” I pondered on it for a moment. “Couples therapy! You’re right, that’ll at least buy me four more days.” I took off down the hall, popped open the fire escape and raced down the metal steps until I saw Andy’s platinum curls shining underneath the streetlight.

“Andy!” I screamed running after him. I finally caught up to him and dropped down to my knees in front of him. “Andy please, please forgive me? I was way out of line.”

Andy stood still, clutching the fern with his nose high in the sky, refusing to look at me. “Haven’t you had enough, Benjamin?”

“I’m willing to do anything, Andy, anything! What do you say about couples therapy?”