LouLou’s words haunted me for the entire cab journey. She apologized, but she’d still said it. And it had still seeped in – turning what had been a happy memory into a confused one. I mean, saying you think you’re falling in love is the natural precursor to the actual drop, right? Not a cop-out. And it’s not like I’d said it to him, even though I felt it. I was waiting for him to say it first… I knew he did. I mean, he must, right? He was caring and affectionate and honest and loyal and…and…right now looking SO GOOD in a tux that every single thought that wasn’t I LOVE HARRY, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH evaporated the moment I stepped out of the taxi and saw him.
Jay, Tad and Rob all cheered when they saw me. Jay and Rob put their hands up to form an arch and whooped out the tune “Here Comes the Bride”. LouLou and I gave each other a look and she took my arm, like she was my proud father, and walked me underneath. Towards Harry. Who was waiting there, beaming… In front of Rosie. Who was standing there, glaring. When I reached Harry, he leaned over and kissed me, smearing my bloody lipstick and everyone cheered. It was a bright winter day, the sun throwing gorgeous wintery light onto everything. The air buzzed with the high of it being the final scene. Oh, and the fact Jay opened up his suit jacket to reveal a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
“What?” he asked, when LouLou made a disapproving face. “It’s our last day. The wrap party starts here!”
Harry took my hand. “Here, let me show you the set-up,” he said, leading me into the church. I lifted my skirts to scuttle after him, keeping a hand over my face as the bright sunlight made my eyes water. Behind me, I heard LouLou say, “Now, who wants to be attacked by my make-up brush first?”
Harry led me through the giant double doors, that were so huge and old it was like being in the Hogwarts great hall. Stone pillars held up the high arched roof and the sun flooded through all the stained-glass windows, casting rainbows that bounced off the walls. At the front stood an ornate altar with a stone-carved angel.
“Harry, it’s perfect,” I whispered.
There was film equipment everywhere. Two cameras stood on tripods, three big professional lights were erected around the front – there were even two silvery umbrellas.
He grinned and squeezed my hand. “Isn’t it? I blew all my savings on hiring the extra camera and lights. But I had to make the most of the set.”
“It’s so nice of the vicar to let us use it.”
“Yeah, well. He won’t be happy if he ever asks to see the finished footage. I told him we were filming a Save Yourself For Marriage education video.”
“Harry!”
He laughed and dragged me down the aisle to show off the rest of his handiwork. “It’s fine, he won’t ask. He’s a vicar, he’s trusting! God, this church is something, isn’t it? Anyway, you’ll stand here… Let me check the lights are okay.”
I stood on the small bit of Sellotape he’d put on the floor as a marker, and listened to his clattering noises echo around the high walls. In a blast, I was plunged into bright lights that made me blink and feel instantly hot. Harry pushed another button and another light glared at me. I blinked several times more, knowing Alice would murder me if I let my eyes water and wreck her make-up.
When I’d finished blinking, Harry stood right in front of me, a smile so wide I could hardly see his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Even with half my skull missing?”
“Yes.”
He stepped forward and we were on the verge of kissing, there, bathed in light and stained-glass rainbows, when…
A cough, just as he leaned in.
We looked up and Rosie was standing at the end of the aisle, scowling. “LouLou wants you for make-up,” she told Harry.
“Ahh, cool.” The moment evaporated and Harry took off, calling to us to turn the lights off.
The doors swung shut, leaving us alone. I smiled with my mouth closed and walked into the harsh rays of the nearest light to try and turn it off. I couldn’t find the switch though. “Ouch!” I accidentally touched the bulb and burned my wrist.
“Hang on, I’ll help.” Rosie walked down the aisle. She turned the light off easily then jumped over and did the other one.
“Thanks,” I said, still cradling my wrist.
“No problem.”
Big awkward silence.
“Is your wrist okay?”
“Oh, yeah, I think it’s fine.” I was surprised she even cared.
Big awkward silence. Rosie stood right where the sunlight hit the floor through the stained glass and her face was a paintbox of colours. I tried to think of one thing to say to her, but couldn’t. Eventually I managed, “I like your jumper,” just as she said, “That dress is cool.”
We both smiled at the jinx before remembering who we were smiling at.
“Thanks,” I said. “Er…it’s great that you can film today. What with everyone else in the scene.”
She didn’t reply straight away, just looked up at the window. “Well, Harry killed me off.”
“Hey, Rosie,” I found myself saying. “Can I ask why you have a problem with me? It would be nice if we could get on. I mean, I know you had a thing with Harry once…”
Both her eyebrows went up. “Is that what he told you?”
“Yeah, well… He said you guys…you know…” I was already regretting starting this.
Her eyebrows drew higher and she smirked. “I always wonder what he tells you.”
“So you didn’t?”
“Oh yeah. We did.”
“Right. Okay then.” The twist of jealousy in my gut was instant – like someone had just shoved my intestines into a spiralizer. In my head the sex was incredible between them – panty and sweaty and she did all the right things. Her smirk confirmed my suspicion that she wasn’t finding this awkward at all – in fact, she was enjoying herself. The rush of dislike overwhelmed me, made me incapable of speech.
She laughed. “Harry and I go way back, that’s all. We lost our virginity to each other.”
I almost choked on her revelation.
“Didn’t he tell you that?”
“No.”
“You just have a connection when you share something like that.” She picked off her nail polish. “We’ve always been very on again, off again, you know? It’s like, no matter what happens, we always come back to each other.” She was talking to me like I was a friend and we were reapplying make-up in the loo. Not like I was Harry’s girlfriend. What did she mean by on again, off again – they wouldn’t be on again, surely?
She examined her nails, looking bored. “So, yeah, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but we’re in each other’s lives, Audrey. I’ve known him since he was seven. You’ve known him, what? Four months?”
“I’m his girlfriend.” It was supposed to come out as a statement, but it came out more like a plea.
She smiled. “For now. Yeah, I guess you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I couldn’t keep the disdain out of my voice. How dare she? Come here and tell me that about Harry and her? Knowing it would upset me. Implying their relationship was closer than ours. I was only trying to clear the air. But before I could have it out with her properly, everyone burst through the doors.
“We’re ready!” Harry yelled. His face was the epitome of childish excitement and all zombified. He stopped when he saw Rosie and I glaring. I may’ve imagined it, but he looked momentarily concerned. Then he clapped, grinned and said, “Amazing, they’re actually getting on!”
Rosie gave me the fakest smile the universe has ever seen. And all I could do was grin inanely back whilst I was dying inside.