“Lucie?” All of a sudden, Rhiannon’s voice drags me from my thoughts. “Lucie, are you okay?”

Physically, I might be in the desert bar with them, eating my ice cream and drinking my fizzy pop, but mentally I’m on another planet. I can’t seem to stop myself from getting distracted however hard I try.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” My entire body bursts into flames as both my friends stare at me. “Sorry, I’m…”

“You’re somewhere else all the time,” Cindy grumbles. “I wish you’d just tell us what’s going on.”

Again, I’m swamped by guilt. I hate keeping this to myself, but it feels like the right thing to do. I guess it’s just easier. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just don’t think I’m feeling so good at the moment, that’s all.”

“Is it stress?” Rhiannon sounds concerned. “Because if so, maybe you should go home for a while.”

“I’ll only do that if I want to add to the stress!” I giggle, trying to make a joke out of the whole thing. “Going home too my parents after spending all this time away from them sounds like hell to me.”

“What are we going to do after this?” Cindy changes the subject, and I’m sure it’s because she doesn’t believe me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but she isn’t the type to suffer fools lightly. I know she won’t want to fall out with me so just not talking about it is easier, I suppose. “We could go and watch a movie at the cinema? It isn’t that late, is it? Do either of you have anything going on early?”

Just as I’m about to answer, my phone starts ringing. Confused, I tug it out of my pocket and see the name on the screen. As soon as I spot that it’s Kade, my heart sinks and flies all at once. I desperately need to speak to him, but I can’t do it here. My brain darts back and forth until finally I make a choice.

“Oh, speak of the Devil, it’s my mom.” I slide out of the seat, ready to make my escape. “I’ll take this outside because she speaks really quietly and it isn’t always easy to hear her. I’ll be back in a sec.”

I clutch my phone tightly to my chest as I run through the building as if I’m holding Kade close to my heart. We’ve messaged back and forth, but he hasn’t rung me and I can’t wait to hear what he has to say. So many potential scenarios spin through my mind as my hopes rise despite the knowledge that they shouldn’t.

“Hello?” I gasp breathlessly as I reach the cool night air. I wanted a moment to cool myself down first so I can actually seem like I’m not a nerd, but I also didn’t want it to go through to voice mail.

“Hey there, Lucie, it’s Kade.” His chocolatey smooth voice bursts through to my core.

“I know who it is, silly, I have your number stored in my contacts, remember?”

“Oh of course you do…” His laughter drives me wild. “Anyway, what are you up to right now?”

“Out with some friends.” I’m glad that I can give an answer other than in my room since I’m sure he’s out living it up right now. It makes me seem less desperate that I have a life outside of him. “How about you?”

“Oh, that’s a shame that you’re out.” He actually does sound gutted. “I was hoping we could hang out.”

I flick my eyes inside, thinking about my friends and their plan to see a movie. A part of me wants to do that but a much bigger bit of me wants to see Kade. This is something that I’ve been waiting forever to happen, and now it’s here! I don’t want to turn it away in case the opportunity never comes around again. Plus, without even knowing it, I’ve been laying the ground work for an escape. I’ve already said I’m unwell and now Cindy will be out for hours so she won’t even notice that I’m missing. It couldn’t be more perfect.

“I am actually just about to come back, so I could hang out with you if you really want to?”

“Oh, I do.” The way that he perks up only confirms that I’ve done the right thing. How can I resist the guy that I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember actually wanting me? It’s nuts! “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ll be back in about twenty minutes, where shall I meet you? Are you at the bar?”

“Actually, I’m by the stables. I know that’s a bit random but I want some one on one time with just you.”

Oh my God, now if that isn’t romance then I don’t know what is! That delicious loving feeling consumes me all over again. I only want to be with him too, other people are unnecessary distractions.

“That sounds perfect. I will meet you at the stables then. I shouldn’t be too long.”

As I hang up the phone, I fist bump the air in my excitement. That’s the best phone call I’ve ever had in my life. And who knows what’ll happen when it’s me and him, at the stables, probably sitting under the stars… I feel like I’m the heroine in a romantic movie, and things are all coming together. I’m so lucky.

I change my expression as best as I can and I make my way inside. I don’t want the girls to know I’m happy not to be hanging out with them because it isn’t like that at all. Once I’m settled and I can tell them the truth, I hope they’ll understand. I hope they’ll get why I like Kade as well, I want them to see there’s more to him.

“How’s your mom?” Cindy asks as she shrugs her jacket onto her shoulders. “All okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah.” I suddenly recall my lie. If I’m going to do this I need to keep better track. “But I really do feel sick, I think I might have to skip the movie, but you two go ahead.”

“Oh, but I drove!” Rhiannon insists. “We’ll just take you back.”

“No, please,” I shoot her down because I really don’t want them to come with me. “I don’t want to ruin your fun. There’s a cab station outside, I’ll get a car to take me back, I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Cindy touches my forehead and frowns. “Yeah, you are burning up. It’s probably for the best.”

Of course, she has no idea that the heat has nothing to do with sickness, but I’m not going to fill her in on that one! “I know. I think I just need some sleep, I’m a little burnt out. You guys go though.”

They look at each other and nod decisively, much to my relief, although they do insist in making sure that I get into a cab okay. It doesn’t matter how much I tell them that I’m a grown ass woman and I’ll be fine, they want to help me all the same. They are lovely friends really, one day I’ll be honest.

The cab journey back to campus seems to take forever. I watch the world out the window as we speed along the roads, but it doesn’t seem to rush by, it trickles past at snail’s pace, as if to drive me crazy and keep me away from Kade for as long as humanly possible. The desperation to see him grows and grows by the second until I almost can’t take it any longer. I just want to be at his side! Can’t the world see how much I need him? Can’t time speed up until I’m next to him and I can kiss him once more?

Once we finally get there and I step out after paying the driver, I almost want to run to his side, but then self doubt creeps in as if from nowhere, and I take a few moments just to suck in a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I know I might not have the look of the sort of girl Kade should end up with, you’d expect him to be with someone much more beautiful, but he seems to have chosen me and I don’t want to fight that.

Just do it, I tell myself. Go and see him. Go and get what you’ve always wanted.

Maybe I’ve wanted this for too long, and now that the moment is here I don’t think I deserve it. But I do… I’ve pined after Kade forever, as my diaries show, and I’ve waited for him, despite everything he’s done away from me. This is my moment of glory, the time that I’ve been waiting for. This is when I finally get to be happy. I really don’t want to get in my own way, to spoil that for myself.

I force myself to go, to move through the campus towards the field. It’s eerie, trekking through the mud at night. This isn’t something I would do for anyone else in the world. Even with the giant white moon and the stars twinkling, I feel a funny sense of unease. I don’t think I’ll be able to fully relax until I’m by his side and I know that this is all real. I guess a small part of me still fears that it might all be in my head.

I cross my arms across my chest, glad that I’m wearing skinny jeans as usual. If I was in anything like a dress, I’d probably feel really weird and exposed right now. I mean more than I already do. I wonder why Kade wanted to meet me here. Yes, for the privacy, but it still seems a little crazy.

“Hey, Lucie.” My chest floods with a welcome, warm, and comforting relief as I hear him. “Over here.”

I eventually spot Kade sitting on a blanket, next to a bottle of wine and what looks like a box of chocolates. There’s no way of getting mixed up with this one, it’s one hundred percent a date. That makes me feel so happy I could weep with joy. I’m right, Kade does like me, and I am going to get to kiss him again.

“Sorry, I should have come to meet you.” He frowns thoughtfully. “I guess I wasn’t thinking what it would be like for you to cross the field on your own in the dark, are you okay?”

I smile serenely to myself, too blissed out to worry about how I was feeling only moments before. I move over to him and take my place on the blanket next to him. It’s small, so we have to sit close enough for me to feel the heat coming from him. There’s a tantalizing sizzling there as well, clinging to the air.

“Oh, it’s fine. I knew you were here so I wasn’t freaked out at all.” That’s only a sort of lie… “This is nice. What an awesome idea. What made you want to enjoy the night sky?”

He grabs the plastic glasses and pours us both a drink. “I just wanted to see you, and I couldn’t think of a better way for us to hang out. We both have roommates, so it’s hard to get some privacy.”

Privacy… that can only mean one thing! I want it, I know I do. The question is am I ready for it?

The pulsing in my underwear and the need in my chest certainly feels like I am, but my brain isn’t too sure. I guess I’ll have to keep hanging out with him and work out my definite answer as time passes us by, and while we’re out here, it truly does feel like we have all the time in the world.