Once Upon a Time
The house felt different as I walked in through the front door hand in hand with Kelly. Maybe it was the anticipation of what I was about to suggest, but I’d like to think that the house had sobered since Pop died two weeks ago. The smell of his sickness was long gone, and every day I’d come home from work, the recovery of his death… his life, it got better. Kelly tugged on my hand, and I smiled at her as she shut the front door. I’d just picked her up from work after I’d left Avenues a little earlier than I was supposed to, but the boss didn’t give a shit anymore, he was losing the place.
The house was quiet and smelled like gravy and onions as we moved into the family room. Kieran was sitting on the couch watching some game, and Dex was sitting at the dinner table, as usual, with his sketch pad, silent with his head down.
“Hey.” Kieran waved without looking up.
“Mom cooking?” I asked and he nodded.
Kelly let go of my hand and fell into the recliner. It was covered in what was supposed to be brown vinyl, but the chair was so old and worn that most of the damn thing looked tan. Kelly, even in her Handy Mart t-shirt and jeans, looked too fucking regal for that piece of shit chair. I exhaled a nervous breath as I thought about everything I had to say today, what I wanted to propose. I was jumping off the cliff face first and, if I didn’t land on my feet, everyone—my family, Kelly—they’d shatter with me.
“Hey, honey,” my mom said as she entered the room. Her tired smile did little to ease the nauseous fear brewing in my gut.
“Have a seat.” I motioned to the couch and she sat down with a long sigh. Kelly’s brows knitted together as I called out to Dex, “Little brother, get your damn nose out of that sketch book, I need to talk to everyone.”
Kieran shut off the game and my mom stared at me. The tension in the room coated my palms in sweat as Declan leaned against the family room wall. I moved toward Kelly and stood next to her chair. My damn hands started to shake so I shoved them into my pockets as everyone’s eyes cut through me. I’d always been the “man” of the house, but now that Pop was finally rotting in the ground, the title felt more real somehow.
My mouth felt like a desert as I said, “Avenues is going bankrupt.”
Declan’s eyes found me across the room and filled with a weary knowledge that shadowed his stare. My mother’s quiet gasp dropped the weight of the future down onto my shoulders.
“Liam, you—”
“Wait.” I cut Kelly off and she pressed her lips together and sat on the edge of the chair. I hadn’t meant to be so abrupt. But, after what I was about to say, I’d have more to apologize for than being a prick. “I want to buy it.”
“Avenues?” Kieran’s smile spread wide across his face. “Are you serious?”
I nodded and brought my eyes to Dex. “We could do it, all of us. I’ve saved a shit load of money, and my boss is practically giving it away. A family business. It even has an apartment above the shop. We could remodel everything, give it a new look, make it our own.”
I lacked the courage, the spine, to look at Kelly. I wasn’t ready to see her expression. My mother’s eyes filled with tears as Declan pushed off the wall and sat on the arm of the sofa next to her.
“Dex, I could teach you, you could learn like I did, your talent… and my experience. This could be a real empire.”
Declan’s eyes slowly brightened and, as he smiled, the pressure in my chest lifted. “I’m in,” he said, and when I looked at Kieran, the kid’s face told me all I needed to know. He was in, too.
“I’ve got school, but I could help with the renovation before I have to start seminary,” Kieran offered.
“It’s a lot of work… but I think if anyone could do this, it’s you, Liam.” My mother’s smile was proud, and I couldn’t help but stand a little fucking taller.
“I still have to talk to my boss, but I think… I know we can do this.” Kelly’s silence was the calm before the storm and it made my heart pound harder as I finally lowered my gaze to hers. Her eyes were glassy as I asked, “What do you think?”
Her nostrils flared as she swallowed, her chest rising and falling in quick little breaths. She was holding it in, the anger, all my broken promises. “If it’s what you want, Liam, you should do it.” She wouldn’t look at me, her eyes fixed to the dingy carpet.
Kelly’s broken dream of moving to California wet her lashes, and I was the bastard holding her hostage. I couldn’t leave. I was my family’s support, and if I did this, we could build a life together, and she wouldn’t have to move to get away from her dad. I could be her home.
Kieran cleared his throat and I raised my head. “Mom, did you still need my help with the roast?”
My mom’s stare lingered on Kelly as she stood. “Yes, and Declan, honey, I need you to mash the potatoes. My wrist, if you can believe it, still hurts from that stupid fall the other day.”
“You fell?” The muscle in my jaw clenched as I looked at my mom and then Kieran, pissed off no one had told me. This was exactly why I couldn’t leave right now.
Mom waved her hand and clicked her tongue. “It was nothing. You were at work and Kieran was at school, Declan was here to help. I just tripped over my own two feet.” She stood in front of me, her hand on my shoulder and said, “I know that look. You can’t feel guilty for having a life, Liam.” My throat contracted. “I’m proud of you,” she whispered with a smile and turned to head into the kitchen.
Guilt was something I lived with on a daily basis. My mother didn’t understand the duty I felt toward this family. I’d continue to provide, even at the cost of my own happiness.
“We’re never going to leave, are we? You were never going to leave?” Kelly’s voice broke.
I exhaled and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I can’t leave, not yet.” I turned to give her my full attention and was met with furious brown eyes.
“We both know ‘not yet’ means never,” she snapped and her lips pressed together into a grim line as she turned her head to look at the wall, to look at anything other than the fucking liar standing in front of her.
“Let me do this… for us.” I took a step closer to her and she shook her head.
“Why can’t you buy a place in California?”
“It’s too fucking expensive, and I already have something to work with here, in Salt Lake. I have nothing there, and I can’t…I can’t leave my family.” I ran both my hands through my hair, closed the gap between us in one stride, and fell to my knees in front of her. She was my life just as much as they were, and my pride, it didn’t fucking matter. I placed my hands on her thighs and rested my forehead just above her knees. “Just listen,” I whispered into the denim, and her fingers threaded through my hair at the nape of my neck. I shivered and raised my head as her hands fell into her lap. Kelly’s eyes overflowed, her cheeks were stained and red. “I know you want to run, but I could build you a castle, right here, Princess, me and you.” My hand palmed her cheek, and my thumb wiped away the tears. “You’re my whole fucking world, nothing will ever compare to you, let me do this… for us.”
Kelly’s lips parted and her quiet sob pierced straight through me as she leaned forward and framed my face with her hands. “Okay.” The word trembled over her tear-covered lips.
My eyes locked on hers. “Yeah?”
She nodded, and, before she could say anything, I captured her mouth with mine. The salty taste of her tears reminded me that I had to follow through, that this was the last promise I could offer her, that if I broke it, I’d lose her forever. Her bottom lip was soft as I pulled it gently through my teeth and backed away so I could see her face.
She licked her lips and a sad smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she said, “Tell me about this apartment.”