Our plane touches down and reality sets in. Our spring break should’ve been all about Peyton and her upcoming wedding, but it was spent trying to put my life back in order. Hard truths were said by my sister, a lot of tears shed, but in the end, Peyton has helped me see the error of my ways. I know I have an uphill challenge, not only with Ben but with my personal health as well.

As soon as the door opens, I follow Peyton down the stairs, almost falling when she starts screaming. I reach for her. However, she’s gone before I realize what’s happening. My hand goes to my forehead to shield the sun so I can see what’s going on. Someone's waiting near the hangar who I assume is Noah. How Peyton knows it’s him, is beyond me. Maybe it’s the connection they share, the same type I want to have with Ben if he’ll have me. If I were Ben, I’d run the other way after the way I’ve treated him.

When I reach the waiting car, Peyton pulls away from Noah. I stop and look at her, and that’s when it hits me. She had a fantastic week in Aruba, but it’s Noah who makes her unbelievably happy. Peyton has a different glow to her right now.

“Hey, Noah.”

He approaches and hugs me. “Fun time?”

“Only the best with the James’ sisters.”

“Yeah, I know firsthand how fun you two are.” Noah winks and takes my suitcase from me. I climb into the backseat, while Peyton takes the front. “So what’s the plan?” I ask her.

“We’re going to head to Mom and Dad’s. Do you want to go?”

“Of course she does,” Noah says as he starts the car. “Who doesn’t want to go surfing with us after spending a week at the beach. Did you gals even go into the ocean?”

“Yes, we did. We went parasailing, scuba diving, and rented jet skis,” Peyton says. She pinches Noah’s cheek. Their cuteness should make me sick, but I want what they have. I want to be happy and in love. I want people to look at me and whomever I’m with, be it Ben or someone else, and roll their eyes and be jealous of the love we’re sharing.

“So, what do you say?” Peyton asks.

The idea is tempting, but being at my parents keeps me from facing my demons unless I can somehow convince Ben to go. Maybe we need a weekend away so we can hash everything out. “No, I think I’m going to go home and see if I can corner Ben.”

“You make Ben sound like a missing dog or something.”

“Sometimes I feel like he is.” Instead of engaging in more conversation, I look out the window and watch the passing scenery. Someday, I’m going to be a tourist and visit all the sites and do the tours of the movie studios. I want to see where the magic happens. I know everything there is about the music industry, but not the silver screen.

“Do you want to grab something to eat before I take you home?” Noah asks.

“No, thanks. I’m assuming Quinn did some grocery shopping while we were gone.”

“Or had a massive party and your apartment is destroyed,” Peyton adds.

I laugh. “Quinn and ‘party’ don’t go hand in hand. He may have invited a lady friend over, but definitely no party.”

“Does he have a girlfriend?” Peyton turns in her seat to look at me. “He never brings anyone to Mom and Dad’s.”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t bring anyone home.”

“Huh.” Peyton looks upset that I don’t have the answer she’s looking for. I know Quinn goes on dates, but he’s never been serious about someone enough to bring her home to meet me, and if she’s not meeting me, I can guarantee he’s not bringing her to meet the rest of the family.

“I just want him to be happy,” Peyton says. Noah places his hand on her leg.

“I’m sure he is, babe.”

“Do you know something?” she asks her fiancé.

Noah shakes his head. “Nope, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“That’s not fair. You’re not supposed to keep secrets from me.”

“Don’t consider it a secret, P. Consider it as Noah protecting his best friend from the embarrassment Quinn’s sisters are sure to show if he were to bring a girl home,” I point out. The truth is, we’d probably gush over her, so I don’t blame Quinn one bit.

“What your sister said, sweetie.” Noah winks at Peyton, who giggles. Okay, now I’m about to be sick because their overly sweet and the mushy crap is too much. Thankfully, I’m going home because I don’t know if I could take a two-hour car ride with them.

Noah offers to carry my bag up to my apartment, but I tell him I can do it. Peyton slides out of the car and pulls me into her arms. “I had the most amazing week,” she says.

“Me too, P. We needed it.” I hug her one more time. “Thanks for picking me up, Noah.”

“Of course, Elle.”

Waving goodbye, I rush toward my complex. There’s a gathering going on at the pool. I pause long enough to see if Ben’s there. He’s not there, not that I really expected him to be. The door to my apartment is unlocked. Inside, Quinn is sitting in his chair, playing his guitar.

“Hey, how was your trip? I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

“Sorry, Noah picked us up. I thought he would’ve let you know.”

Quinn shakes his head.

“Sorry.” I hear a door shut and it sounds like it’s coming from Ben’s apartment. “I’ll be right back.” It takes me under thirty seconds to get from my living room to Ben’s front door. I knock, but the voice coming from the other side is female. My heart drops with the realization that I’m too late. He’s been distant because he’s met someone and didn’t think he could tell me.

Back in my apartment, I shut the door and lean up against it. Quinn is staring at me, probably wondering if I’m about to have a breakdown. He doesn’t know I’ve been sober since Ben’s birthday. It’s nothing I’ve broadcasted anywhere.

“Something wrong?” Quinn asks.

I shake my head, but quickly start to nod. “I think Ben has a girlfriend.”

My brother looks at me, confusion all over his face.

“Did you know?” I ask.

Quinn strums his guitar before answering. “Honestly, I haven’t seen Ben around for the last couple of weeks. Did you just meet her?”

“No, I left before either of them could answer the door.” I push off the door and go over to the couch, flopping down. “Ben and I haven’t exactly been talking as of late. I don’t know why, but I was hoping to figure it out today.” I leave out the part where I think Ben and I had sex. Quinn doesn’t need those details about my life, and I don’t need to see the disappointment on his face.

“I was wondering why he hasn’t been over in awhile.”

“I thought it was because he was studying for his finals. Guess not.”

“Speaking of, how’d you do on yours?” Quinn asks. He sets his guitar down and leans back in the chair.

“I haven’t looked yet.”

Quinn motions toward my phone, which is sitting on our coffee table. I reach for it, scrolling through my app until I find the one that’ll allow me to access my grades. It takes me a few times to type in my username, mostly because my fingers are shaking. I don’t want to know if I failed any of my classes. I need four C’s to pass. Any D’s and I’ll have to retake the class during the summer, which means I won’t be able to graduate with my class.

“I can’t.” I hand my phone to Quinn and head into the kitchen to get something to drink. I’m not shocked when I open the refrigerator and find only bottled water and juices. Quinn has gotten rid of the beer he likes because the fridge is full of food, so I know either he or our mom had gone shopping. I actually wouldn’t put it past our mom to drive up and take care of him while I was gone. From the day Quinn came into our lives, she’s always had a soft spot for him. He’s her baby boy despite her not being his biological mother.

“You failed,” Quinn says loudly from the living room. Tears immediately fall, and my heart sinks. I did this. I put myself in a no-win situation and couldn’t dig my way out of it. I tried, but not hard enough. I walk back into the living room, feeling as low as I possibly can and in need of a drink. I need something to numb the pain of being an epic failure. My dad is going to be so disappointed, and I don’t know if it’s worse knowing this or not walking with my class.

“Summer school it is.”

Quinn hands me my phone with a smile. “You didn’t fail. You passed, but barely.”

“I did?” I choke out. The screen shows me C’s with one C minus. “Why would you tell me I failed?”

“Because I wanted you to see and feel the letdown. I know you tried, but it was late. You’re so much better than those grades, Elle. You know it. We all know it. Now you start this next quarter with a renewed outlook, and you kick ass with it. Shoot for the stars.” Quinn comes over to me and holds his arms out. I push him away, but he doesn’t budge. I don’t care if he meant well, it was a dirty trick, and my heart hurts because of it. Quinn doesn’t care and pulls me into his arms anyway, where I break down. It’s not only my grades but Ben as well. I need him to give me a second chance, to right the wrong I’ve done to him. He doesn’t deserve the way I’ve been treating him.

I also need him to come clean about the night of his birthday party. Something definitely happened between us, and he’s not saying, and I know it’s because of the way I reacted in the morning. I was confused and scared. Neither of which are adequate excuses for treating my best friend as if he’s done something bad to me.

“Do you want to go grab dinner?” Quinn asks after he releases me. “I have a gig later at the coffee shop and could use a fan in the crowd.”

“Sure. Let me go unpack and shower.” I grab my suitcase and head to my room. Every piece of clothing from the trip heads right to the hamper, which is already full. Ugh, I have to spend tomorrow doing laundry, which is my least favorite activity. Thankfully, we have a washer and dryer in our apartment, so I don’t have to lug my basket anywhere.

In the side pocket of my suitcase, I pull out the gift I brought home for Ben. Each time the tide went out, I combed the coastline for seashells, putting a few into a jar with some sand from the beach. I thought Ben would like this because the gift comes from my heart and not some tourist store.

I suppose I could give Ben the gift now, but don’t want to screw up the relationship he’s building. I don’t know if he’s told her about me or not. Not that I expect him to. Our BFF status is definitely on a hiatus.

For now, the jar will sit on my dresser, which will serve as a reminder of a well-needed break from reality and much-needed time with my sister.