“That’s Ben’s girlfriend?” Michelle says as she pulls down her sunglasses. A small pang of jealousy washes over me, knowing Talia is getting all the best parts of Ben right now, like his amazing sense of humor, his kind heart and how he always knows what I need. Well, I guess he knows what she needs now.

“Yeah.”

“She’s definitely out of college.”

“I think she’s a nurse. I’m not sure though. She definitely works in the hospital.” It would figure Ben would date someone professional like a nurse or medical student, someone whose career is going to help people as opposed to what I want to do. I turn my attention back to my magazine, trying to dilute my mind with frivolous stories of the rich and famous, yet I can’t seem to focus on what the Kardashians are up to these days because my sister’s words keep replaying in my mind, Ben is my Noah. Peyton can see it, but I’m not sure I can or want to. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, even though I know the reason he’s been so distant is because of the mistake I made. Losing Ben isn’t an option for me.

“She’s really pretty.”

I know. I sigh. I’ve been spying on Talia since the night Ben, and I spoke on the phone. Oddly, I still haven’t seen Ben either at home or on campus. I’d ask some of his classmates, but I don’t know any of them, which only proves how selfish I’ve been where Ben’s concerned. What type of friend only focuses on her own friends? Me. I’m that type of friend, and I disgust myself because of it.

“Do you want a hard seltzer?” Michelle reaches into her cooler and shows me the silver can with a mermaid on it. As much as I want to drink it, I shouldn’t. I’ve been doing really well at staying sober, and I don’t want to mess it up. There’s a lot on the line for me right now, and alcohol doesn’t help my decision making process.

“No thanks, I have water.”

“What’s with you? You haven’t been out with us in weeks, and now you’re drinking plain water when you could be drinking spiked water.”

“It’s our last quarter of school. I need to do well.”

Michelle comes from money. I suppose I do as well, but not like her. Her family comes from old money. Not exactly sure, what that means but her father is a philanthropist and travels a lot. Her mother, according to Michelle, lunches. Which according to Michelle means her mom’s screwing the pool boy. Her stories about her family make me so incredibly thankful for mine. Anyway, Michelle skates by at school because her family owns a building or something and no one wants to rock the boat, so to speak, on funding.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says, but she still lifts the seltzer to her lips and takes a big drink. When these spiked seltzers came out, they were and still are all the rage. Low-calorie water with alcohol, what more could someone ask for. “Oh, here she comes. What do you think she’s doing?”

I look up from my magazine to watch Talia come down the stairs. It looks like she’s wearing a cover-up, which means she likely has her swimsuit on, which means… “Do you think she’s coming in here?”

“Unless she’s going to the beach, but traffic would be horrible at this time.” Michelle looks at her wrist and laughs. I roll my eyes because she’s not wearing a watch. “Where did Ben say he met her?”

“I didn’t ask, and he hasn’t been exactly forthcoming about her.”

“But you’re like besties.”

Were. I don’t bother to correct her. Right now, I don’t know what Ben and I are. We’re definitely not on the same speaking terms we’ve been on since high school. Nor is he sharing information about his new love. I always thought that when Ben finally decided to settle down, he’d introduce her to me so we could be friends. It’s pretty clear Ben’s been dating Talia for some time because she’s living in his apartment. Have I been so lost in my own head that I didn’t even notice her around?

No, none of this makes sense. As much as I want to deny it, I’m certain something happened between us on the night of his birthday and if that’s the case, where was Talia? Would Ben cheat? No, I don’t think he would because he’s so loyal, so none of this makes sense. Ben isn’t the type of guy who moves fast, so where did Talia come from?

“I’m going to go talk to her.” Tossing my magazine down, I stand. Michelle does too, except she places her hands on my shoulders.

“And say what?”

I look over her shoulder, toward the area where Talia disappeared and sigh. “I don’t know, but something is off.”

“Maybe, but Ben obviously likes her, and you have to accept that.”

Tears prickle my eyes. I’m not even sure why I’m so emotional about this. I don’t want to believe my sister is right, and that Ben is the one for me. He’s always been my best friend, the one I’ve turned to for everything. I’ve had the best of both worlds, having Ben and Peyton by my side, talking about school, life and… guys.

Ben has always been my go-to about guys, asking him ridiculous questions on whether so and so likes me or if I should date someone, and yet at every major rite of passage, Ben and I went together.

“Do you think… never mind.” I turn and gather my stuff. There’s one question on my mind and only one person who can answer it. That’s if he’ll even talk to me.

---

The driveway to Brad’s new place is about a half mile long, winding through dense forest until the land opens up to a wide area with a gorgeous mansion. Behind the main house is a bungalow where Brad stays while working on the owner’s cars.

Parking in front of the garage, the sound of machinery fills the air. When the noise stops, music takes over. I walk in and look around for any sign of Brad, but see none.

“Under here,” a voice calls out. I walk around the car, looking at the ground, wondering if he’s under there. In the front, legs stick out, and I laugh at the sight.

“Brad?”

“Yep.” Before I can say anything else, he pulls himself out from underneath. There’s a smile on his face, but it quickly morphs into a grimace. Brad and I haven’t exactly been friends over the years, and even though Ben has told me otherwise, I feel as if Brad resents me because Ben moved here. “I don’t service other vehicles.” He tries to go back under the car, but I grab his pant leg to hold him still.

“I’m not here for a car repair.”

“So why would you come all the way out to the canyon?’

“Because of Ben.”

Brad pushes himself back out. “What about him?”

“I was hoping you could tell me what’s going on.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips. “Because one minute we’re best friends and the next, he’s avoiding me and dating some girl named Talia who has already moved into this apartment.”

Brad smiles and continues to shake his head, which I find annoying.

“You know something.”

“No, I don’t. What I do know is you need to let him go. Release this imaginary hold you have on my brother so he can live his own life and not the one you have mapped out for him.”

“What’re you talking about? Ben does his own thing.”

He smirks. “Ben does no such thing. He didn’t even want to move out here, but he did because of you.”

“He didn’t have to.”

Brad laughs once. “Really? Because the constant whining about how you don’t want to be alone, even though you have your brother here, not to mention the fact your family are not far away, wasn’t a plea with Ben to apply to UCLA? A college, mind you, that he didn’t even want to attend.”

“I don’t whine, and Ben could’ve made his own decision.”

Brad stands and picks up the rag on the car to clean his hands. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what, exactly? You are talking in spades, Brad. I’m here because I want to know what’s going on with Ben or better yet, where he is. Because he’s not at school, he quit his work study, and I never see him at the apartment.”

He throws the rag down onto the counter and looks at me. “Since the day Ben met you, his life has been about Elle James. Elle, this. Elle, that. Your family adopted him as if he were some stray animal you found on the street corner.”

“Are you jealous because Ben went on family vacations with us? Is that the problem? Because I don’t understand, Brad. Shouldn’t you be happy for your brother that he had some worldly experiences in his life? I’m sorry, we didn’t invite you, but you and I aren’t exactly friends.”

“No, we’re not, which means you should leave.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on with Ben.”

Brad turns his back on me. “You need to leave Ben alone, let him live his life. For eight years or so, he’s been under your spell, and it’s time he figured out who he is. He’s never been given a chance to be Benjamin Miller because he’s always been Elle’s best friend. For once, Ben’s putting himself first. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m not. It’s about time he’s removed himself from your clutches.”

“My clutches? You make me sound like I’ve done him a disservice by being his friend, and yet Ben’s had opportunities he would’ve never gotten. How easily you forget it was Ben, who came up to me and followed me around. I could’ve ignored him, treated him like crap, but I didn’t because he made me laugh because he saw me for me and not who my family is.” I wipe angrily at my tears. “All I’m asking is for you to tell where he is. There are things I need to say to him that can only be done in person.”

Brad faces me and slowly shakes his head before shrugging. “Sorry, don’t know.”

“You’re a liar Brad Miller.”

“No, I’m a big, brother protecting his little brother from the big bad wolf.” He tilts his head toward the door. “I think it’s time for you to go now. I’m sure Daddy’s credit card hasn’t been used in the last hour, better hurry before it burns a hole in your pocket.”

I flip him off because I’m too angry to get the words out. However, my action doesn’t even faze him. He waves goodbye, leaving me no choice but to leave. Once I’m at the bottom of the driveway, I pull over and let my tears flow. I wasted half a day thinking Brad would help me. I’m left with no other choice but to ask Talia, plead my case with her while making sure she understands I’m not a threat to her relationship with Ben.

The question is, when I finally confront him, what will I say? Do I demand he tell me about the night of his birthday? What if he doesn’t, where does that leave us? Deep down, I feel as if something happened between us, something triggered this avalanche of weirdness and I need to know what so I can fix it. Brad’s right, in a sense. For eight years, Ben and I have been friends, and I’m not about to let our relationship end. With or without Brad’s help.