My anxiety levels increase when I step into my cubicle. There’s a file on my desk that’s the size of a ream of paper, and there’s a sticky note from Margie sitting on top of it, asking me to go and see her. From my tiny space, I can see that the light is still off in her office, which gives me time to try and figure out what’s going on.

After taking off my jacket, I pull out my chair and sit down, setting my phone next to my monitor. I thought about calling Elle back all through the night, and the temptation was almost too strong to resist. I wanted to know what she wanted, but I couldn’t bring myself to make the call. As a result, I was up most of the night, waiting for her usual three a.m. calls. It was sometime between two and four in the morning when I realized I miss those calls. My time in New York is coming to an end, and while I’m not ready to leave because I love this job, I am ready to go back to California to see Elle. Since I left, her Instagram has been quiet, which is really unlike her. Her last post is a picture of the two of us, taken on my birthday. Seeing it hurts. Not only does it remind me of a night I’d like to forget, but it’s reminiscent of a friend I’ve lost.

“What’s that?” Talia asks as she hands me my cup of coffee. This week, she’s the coffee runner, filling our orders in the morning. Against my brother’s advice, I’ve splurged on Starbucks because it’s what I’m used to. I tried to drink the cheap stuff from the corner bodega, but couldn’t stomach it. He’ll be surprised to know I haven’t spent a penny of his money though, and I plan to give it back to him. I only have to figure out how to do so because Brad won’t take it if I hand it over to him.

“I’m not sure. It was here when I walked in.” I haven’t even flipped the cover yet to see what’s inside.

“Looks important. Is it from Margie?”

I nod, agreeing that it does look important. The question is, why’s it on my desk and where’s Talia’s copy? “I think it’s meant for someone else.” Which it could easily be since my name wasn’t on the note.

“You probably won the competition.”

“If I did, that means you did as well. They’re picking a team, remember?”

Talia sits down in her chair and faces me. “Ashley heard that the managers changed their minds, something about some people outworking their partner.”

“Well, they can’t be talking about us. We’ve worked equally as hard.” I offer her a smile before turning my attention back to the folder. With my coffee in one hand, I open the file and look at the first page. It’s a proposal for a pharmaceutical company. The following pages include their budgets, targets and a copious number of notes by Margie. Still, until she arrives at work, I’m not going to assume anything. Besides, I’m only an intern. For this file to be on my desk, it has to be a mistake.

A mistake that’s giving me anxiety as I watch the clock. I’ve been here for almost two hours, and Margie has yet to walk in. If I could pace, I would, but my other project, the one with Talia, needs my attention. Except as I look at the words, they’re blurred. My focus is off and my mind’s racing, wondering what’s going on.

My cell phone rings. It’s Brad. I don’t know whether to take it or not so I let him go to voicemail only for him to call right back. This time I answer, “Hello.”

“Sup.”

“Trying to work,” I tell him. Our jobs are so different. If Brad’s sidetracked, he can move onto painting or hammering out a dent.

“Job too hard?” He laughs.

“It’s challenging. What’s up?” I can feel someone staring at me. I look around, expecting to see Margie standing outside her office, but it’s Talia, smiling softly. As soon as our eyes meet, she waves. She’s cute, and I like spending time with her. Lately, we’ve gone out with the other interns, and I’ve thought about asking her out, just the two of us because I’d like to get to know her better. I return the smile but leave the waving to her.

“Just checking in, see what’s going on.”

“Not much. Work keeps me busy, but I’ve seen some of the city.” Our group has spent Saturdays doing the tourist thing. We’ve done everything from Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Coney Island, and have even managed to get tickets to a few baseball games. Nosebleed seats are cheap unless you’re a Yankee’s fan.

“Are you ready to come home?” It’s like my brother is a mind reader. How did he know this has been weighing heavily on my mind?

“Yes and no. I like it here, and I don’t know what I’m coming home to.”

“One pissed off hot chick,” he says. “You know, I used to think Elle was hot in high school, but as we got older, my thoughts changed on her because I felt she was always leading you on. Now though, she’s smoking hot and a complete bitch. I get why you have a hard time staying away from her.”

“When did you see Elle?” I ask. It doesn’t bother me if Brad thinks Elle’s hot. She is. I’m the first one to admit it. I can’t even argue with the part about her being a bitch because she can be, even when she isn’t trying to be one. As of late, I chalked her attitude up to anger and maybe a bit of depression, but when it boils down to it if Elle doesn’t want to do something or isn’t getting her way, she lets you know about it.

“She came by, asking where you were.”

“When was this?”

“A week or so ago, I don’t remember exactly,” he tells me. Why did he wait so long to call me? I know better than to ask him, already knowing his answer. It was with his encouragement that I came here and avoided talking to Elle. He’s right. I have to forget her and start living my life. Speaking of, I glance to my left to see what Talia’s doing. She’s typing furiously, likely transcribing our notes from yesterday.

“Oh, right,” I say, not wanting to know what Elle wanted with my brother.

“Anyway, I didn’t tell her where to find you.”

“Thank you.” I never thought Brad would tell Elle anything. The last I knew, they couldn’t stand each other. “Hey, listen, my boss just walked in, let me call you back later.”

“Later, bro.” Brad hangs up without giving me a chance to tell him goodbye. He’s never been one for the niceties when it comes to a conversation.

As soon as I set my phone down, I pick up the file and head toward Margie’s office. Her door is open, but I knock anyway.

“Come in, Ben.”

“I won’t take long. I believe this is your file. It was on my desk this morning.” I hold out the file to her, but she only looks at me.

“Please close the door.”

“Um…” I turn and do as she says. When I look back at her, she motions to the chair in front of her desk. The same one I sat in on my first day here.

“There’s no question in my mind that you’re carrying your team. Talia does fine work, but it’s subpar compared to yours. The file I set on your desk is a project I’d like you to work on.”

“What about the Eo project?”

Margie shuffles some papers on her desk, pulling out a sheet and handing it to me. Once again, the words blur, but my mind knows exactly what it says. The words ‘job offer’ and ‘position’ jump out very clearly. “As you can see, we’re offering you a job. This is away from the intern competition going on. You’ll be a level II account manager with a secretary and five accounts. It’s very rare we offer a job like this to a graduating senior, but your knowledge, work ethic and ability to step in and do work outside of your project has spoken volumes to the senior managers.”

“Thank you, Margie.”

“No thanks are needed, Ben. You’re a rarity, and we’d love to have you on our team. The job would start on July first, giving you time to move and settle after graduation.”

I nod and look at the letter again. All the right words are there, making this a dream come true. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course. In the meantime, I want you working on the pharm project. We need fresh eyes on it.”

“You got it.” I leave her office, but instead of going back to my desk, I take a walk down the hall, wishing I had my phone because I need to call… Elle. She’s who I want to call and tell my good news to, but I can’t. I won’t. Our conversation will have to wait until I’m home and we’re face to face.

Back at my desk, Talia watches me as I come down the aisle way. “How about dinner tonight?” I ask.

“Sure, I’ll ask the others. What time?”

I shake my head. “Just us.” Talia’s eyes light up, and she nods. “I’ll make the reservation.” As soon as I sit down, I glance quickly at Talia, but can only see her shoulders. My guess is she’s hunched over, typing on her phone, telling whoever the recipient is of her message that I asked her out. It’s a ballsy move, but one I knew she’d say yes to.

The rest of my day goes by seemingly. Even though Talia needs my assistance on our project, I manage to familiarize myself with the pharmaceutical file. Margie and I will meet and go over a plan of action to increase their brand awareness.

Once five o’clock hits, I’m packing up most of my stuff and waiting for Talia. Not once since we started, have we left at closing time. It’s probably my fault, and my desire to be the best at everything I do, which seems to have paid off with the job offer. I can’t wait to tell Brad, but again, I think it’s something I’ll do when I’m home. Taking the job seems like a no-brainer, and I’d be stupid to pass it up.

“Where are we going?” Talia asks as she steps out of her cubicle. She places her arm in mine, something she’s done from the first day we met.

“I made a reservation at Delmonico’s.”

Talia stops walking and pulls my arm, making me stop as well. “Ben, Delmonico’s is too expensive.”

“It’s fine, and we deserve a nice treat. Our time is almost up, might as well enjoy it.”

“If you say so,” Talia says, but there’s hesitancy in her voice. She’s right when a restaurant doesn’t list their menu prices, you know it’s way over your budget. But I want to celebrate, even if I can’t tell her why. Maybe once the winner of the competition’s announced, I’ll give Talia my news.

To save a bit of pocket change, we take the subway. It’s crowded, more so than usual with everyone being off work at this time and either heading home or going to hit happy hour. After our stop and once we’ve climbed the stairs to somewhat fresh air, my phone chimes. The number is unknown, which prompts me to look right away. “Shit,” I mumble.

“What’s wrong?” I show Talia the message from the restaurant, canceling our reservation. “I didn’t even know they could do something like that.”

“We were on a waitlist but told to arrive either way.”

“Huh,” she says, not looking impressed. Strike one for Ben. I look around to see what is near. Truthfully, I’m not upset because it’s money I don’t have to spend, but I did ask Talia out and want to make good on request. “Pizza?” I point across the street to the parlor.

“Perfect.”

What should’ve been a nice long dinner, turns into a quick thirty-minute stop. I’m horrible at the dating game, and maybe that’s why I never dared to ask Elle out. Nope, I’m fairly certain I never asked her out because I was afraid she’d say no.

Instead of heading right home, Talia and I decide to walk around town for a bit. It’s a nice night, but a bit on the chilly side. That’s the one thing I haven’t gotten used to, the weather. While it’s hot back home, New York is still in their spring stage, and the temperature fluctuates too much for my liking. I miss the warmth of the L.A. sun and honestly can’t wait to get back to it.

When we reach our neighborhood, we both stop at the Chinese restaurant and look at each other. “Are you still hungry?” I ask. Talia nods, and we walk in, ordering a few items to take back to our apartments.

“Do you want to come over and watch a movie?” she asks.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” I tell her as I reach for her hand. This feels right. Pursuing something with Talia is the right step for me, but doing so means I need to come clean about Elle.

Outside our apartment building, I pull out the key to our security door and hold it open for Talia. She pauses in front of me. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I’m not sure why you’re thanking me. Nothing has gone as planned.”

She shrugs. “Sometimes broken plans make the best dates.” Talia stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine. The kiss is warm. Her lips are soft… and everything is wrong because when I close my eyes, I see Elle. In fact, I hear her saying my name, which is ridiculous. When Talia pulls away, I hear my name again. This time I look around, and that’s when I see her, standing on the sidewalk, staring back at me.