Stacey went up the stairs, probably reading, like I did, that Rod wanted to talk to me alone. His parents were usually up pretty late on Sunday, and it wasn’t even eight yet, so we had an hour, maybe two.

I followed him to the kitchen, and he ducked his head into the fridge. He pulled out a bottle, handed it to me, then picked one of his own. Next, he went through the cupboards. He found a bag of chips and led the way back to the living room.

“Where did my sister go?” he asked distractedly, glancing around the room as he opened the bottle.

“I think she went back to her room,” I said, opening mine and taking a sip. “Or, to the bathroom. She said she was going before I interrupted.”

His eyes drifted back to me. “Yeah. About that, I’m kinda glad you came to find me before I had to. I just thought it was a little early to come knocking on someone’s doorstep.”

I let out a sheepish laugh. “Yeah. I guess I just have no shame.”

He didn’t laugh like I half expected him to. Now that we were alone, and I was over my bout of fear, I got to look at him closely. What I found didn’t make me happy at all. Rod was one of the most cheerful bastards I knew. He was also a morning person, unlike me, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise to find he was the only person awake in his house—well, besides Stacey, but she’d had her reasons for waking up early.

Rod, though, at that moment, looked drawn. Like he was way older than he was, a teenager just barely eighteen years old, with too much weight on his shoulders.

“I did want to see you yesterday,” I continued when the silence stretched too long, clearing my throat. “But I came over, and you weren’t around. Stacey couldn’t even tell me where you were.”

He sighed and drank. “I left pretty early. She wasn’t even awake when we left. Mom just wanted to get away from the house, and I went with her. We didn’t do anything special.”

“Can I ask what this thing with your mom is?” I asked slowly, not sure if I should be prying. “Stacey doesn’t know, but it’s getting to you. You do know what it is, don’t you?”

He hadn't admitted it to Stacey, but I knew my best friend. He probably knew, or suspected, and that coupled with how his mom was reacting, was probably what had him thinking so much. He’d been acting a little distant lately. I still saw him around the school, of course, but he wasn’t as free to hang out after classes.

I’d put it out of my mind because him being busy meant I had free time to spend with Stacey. Suddenly, I felt very guilty for ever thinking that way at all. I couldn’t just pick one. While I loved Stacey, Rod would always be my best friend. Before junior high, he was one of my only friends. Then Stacey was another, and we all picked up more friends after that. But I was still the closest to him.

“This thing with my mom,” he started after another stretch of silence. “I don’t know, man. It’s just so messed up; I kinda wish I didn’t know it.”

He went quiet again, and I couldn’t bring myself to break the silence this time.

Whatever this shit is, it’s messing him up. I’m a shitty friend for not noticing something was up.

“You know you can talk to me if you want to, right? About whatever, I wouldn’t mind. I might not be able to help, but even I’d be better than nothing, right?”

He cracked a small smile, but he didn’t look up at me. He set down his root beer and reached for the chips, ripping the back open and pulling out a few, tossing them in his mouth. He held the bag out to me, eyebrow arched. I took some chips out and ate, watching him.

“I appreciate you offering to hear me out,” he said. “But I’m not sure I want to tell anyone about this. Especially Stacey. She’ll probably find out eventually, and it’s just going to be…so bad.”

When he fell silent this time, I wondered if my being there even helped at all. He’d said he would have come to look for me, but maybe it was just a passing thought? Because I was right there, we were alone, and he wasn’t saying anything.

“I’m gonna guess this is the kind of convo you’d like to have after having a few real beers?” I guessed.

That got him to laugh, at least, even though it was weak and it died down quickly.

“You know what, you’re right. But, as I said, my dad would kill me.”

I shrugged. “So? Let’s go to your room. Or, if you’d like, you can come back to my place with me, and we can do this there. My mom is going to be out, so we’ll have the place all to ourselves. And she usually doesn’t say anything when I touch the liquor, as long as she doesn’t catch me.”

Rod sighed and took another drink, then leaned back, tilting his head against the seat and closing his eyes. “I would love to, but fuck. I told you I’d be with my mom for the weekend, right? It’s still Sunday. I’m just waiting for her to get up. She already has plans for us.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot about that.”

I frowned at him as I drank my root beer. Seriously, did this guy want me here or not? I was starting to think it would be better if I just went home. Because I was trying to talk, but he kept going quiet, and I wasn’t so great with words that would keep opening conversations for us. If I stayed too long and forgot myself, I might just blurt out the secret between Stacey and me.

Rod didn’t need the added stress. So I agreed with Stacey; we weren’t ready to tell everybody we were together.

“I should probably get going,” I muttered. “If you have shit to do with your mom, I don’t want to bother you. We have school tomorrow anyway. I’ll be sure to study and write up some notes for you.”

I wasn’t sure he even heard me talk, but I tipped my head back and drank down the rest of my root beer. Then I went to get up, only Rod to stopped me.

“Wait up,” he said, his voice clear, finally meeting my eyes. “I did want to ask you about something, I swear.”

I slowly sat back down, feeling a bit suspicious now. Was he just stalling because of whatever it was he had to ask me? Wait… he wasn’t going to ask me about Stacey, was he? Because that had me sweating a little bit.

Calm down, Kevin, I told myself. There was no way that would even come up. He hadn't noticed.

It didn’t make me feel better that he hadn't noticed, though. Either I was too good a liar, or I wasn’t as close a friend to him as I thought. Or, whatever problem he had was more important than anything else. I wondered if what he had to ask had to do with the secret he was keeping.

But when it came, the question wasn’t what I expected.

“What’s your mom like?”

The question pretty much came out of left field, and I was left blinking in confusion.

“My mom?” I repeated slowly.

He nodded. “Yeah, Kevin. Your mom, what’s she like?”

I blinked some more, then frowned. I couldn’t see what this question could have to do with anything.

“Fine,” I said. “I guess?”

Shit, I don’t fucking know! Did something happen to my mom? I didn’t get to see her often, but she called me sometimes on the phone. Hell, I probably knew his mom more than I did mine, since I spent more time around her, and she treated me well because I was the best friend of her precious son.

Mom was probably home at some point yesterday, but when I got back, my mind was full of Stacey. Then I snuck out of the house and spent my night with Stacey in her bedroom behind a locked door. If he’d asked, I couldn’t even tell him when the last time I talked to her was, let alone saw her.

Wow, I realized. I am as terrible a friend as I am a failure of a son.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t busy with her shit, though. It wasn’t on purpose that we didn’t get to talk. Most of the time when it came to meals, I had to fend for myself. Which was probably how I ended up staying over at Rod’s place so often it was like a second home, because he’d invite me over to have food with his family, too.

“Was there something in particular you wanted to know?” I asked when he said nothing, just kept staring at me. “I mean, why would you ask me about my mom? Did you guys run into her yesterday, or something?”

I knew that was impossible, though. Mom was busy with work almost always, and wherever Rod went with his mom, there was no reason the two of them would have met her yesterday.

“Nah, man. No reason.” He reached for more chips. “I was just curious, is all. You don’t talk about her a lot. You know more about my mom than I do yours.”

I huffed a laugh. “Well, yeah your mom is almost always around when I come over, have you ever even met my mom? And you’ve been over to my place loads of times.”

“She’s rarely ever home, right?”

I nodded. “Pretty much. I consider myself lucky sometimes if I get to see her more than three times in one month. And I’m in heaven if she actually manages to make me a meal; I don’t care which time, for a third of the month. I’ve gotten to be pretty self-sufficient, thanks to her, so I’m okay with her not being around, I guess.”

He hummed, drank and ate. He was falling into silence again, looking lost in thought.

There was probably a good reason he was asking about my mom, even after he’d said it was nothing. Had I been a good friend, like I was supposed to be, I would have looked into this. What was so special about my mom that Rod would ask about her, and how did it tie into what was wrong with his mom, and why he was spending the weekend to make her feel better.

But, all I could think was, thank fuck Rod doesn’t suspect a thing between Stacey and me.

She was all that was on my mind these days. And, seeing as Rod wasn’t up to talking, and I didn’t want to jinx things by sneaking up to see Stacey again, I got up off the couch and headed for the door, and that time, Rod didn’t stop me.

“Hey, man. I’ll see ya later,” I said before I closed the door behind me and went back to my home.