VALENTINE’S DAY HAS NEVER BEEN A SPECIAL HOLIDAY for me. In fact, the only true valentine I ever had was in second grade when Jordan Lewis bought me a stuffed white dog and small, heart-shaped box of chocolate. He ate half of the chocolates and pushed me off the merry-go-round later that afternoon.
Asshole.
After that, I either didn’t have a boyfriend during Valentine’s Day or the boyfriend I had didn’t celebrate it. By the time I turned sixteen, I stopped caring, and that was a relief for the two boyfriends I had in high school. Neither of them had to worry about the holiday because it meant absolutely nothing to me.
But tonight, I’m wrapped in a massive pile of blankets and sheets with Bo tucked under my arm, her small hand resting on my hip, her fingers just barely under the hem of my t-shirt. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m determined to make it one we’ll both remember.
It’s barely over fifty degrees tonight, one of the last cold nights we’ll have in South Florida for quite a while. It’s mid-February now, which means sunshine and seventies are right around the corner. Spring Break is just a few weeks away, and while everyone else is focused on their diets, I’m focused on this moment — right here — lying under the stars with the only girl I’ve ever truly let myself be with.
It’s not that I never found a girl attractive before Bo. I’ve known for quite some time that I’m bisexual. Still, I never let myself be with them. A kiss here and there, maybe some nights spent together where I wondered if they felt the same, but that’s where it all ended. Bo is my first girlfriend, which is part of the reason I want tonight to be so special.
“This is nice,” Bo whispers, snuggling in closer. I run my fingers through her short, silky locks and sigh in agreement. “How did you even think of this?”
I shrug. “I wanted to do something no one had ever done for you before.”
“You succeeded,” Bo says with a giggle.
Palm South University is undergoing a lot of construction this semester, and I heard they were tearing down this parking garage to make room for a new theatre. They stopped letting students park here a few weeks ago and construction is set to pick up in March. I wanted to be alone with Bo, somewhere where we could be ourselves without anyone watching. So, I bought an air mattress, stuffed two duffle bags full of sheets, blankets, and pillows, and set up our own private bedroom under the stars. I asked Bo to bring a few candles and two bottles of wine, and now here we are.
Paradise.
Leaning up on her elbow, Bo frowns down at me, the soft flicker of the candles illuminating her face just slightly. “Are you okay?”
Her hand leaves my hip and finds the side of my face as she runs her thumb across my cheek bone. I flinch a little, the bruise still tender, but force a smile. “I’m fine.”
“I can’t believe some asshole mugged you. On campus, nonetheless.” She shivers. “Gives me the creeps.”
“Me too. But I’m okay, and I just want to move on.”
She nods, but her eyes are focused hard on mine. Bo knows about the trouble I got into last semester with Hayden and the drugs, but I never told her what Kya said when she came by the sorority house that last day of fall semester. How could I? Bo is the most special person in my life right now. I couldn’t risk losing her because of a stupid decision I made.
I’m digging my way out of this hole on my own, and once I’m out, I’ll stand in the sunshine with Bo.
I told Erin and the rest of my sorority that I was mugged on my way to the bank with our philanthropy money. Xavier came through with what I asked him to do, and with a smile on his face. He enjoyed it, I could tell.
“Do the campus police have any leads yet?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. But they’ll find who did it. I’m not worried.”
At least that’s not a lie. The PSU police are the last item on my list of Shit to Worry About.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Bo laces her fingers in mine, pulling my hand to her lips for a soft kiss. It’s such an innocent touch, but my heart instantly accelerates.
“I know.”
Bo seems so perfect on the outside — beautiful complexion, hair, body. She puts everyone else before herself. But over the last few weeks, I’ve gotten to know Bo on a deeper level. She opened up to me about her parents, the pressure they put on her to excel in life, the absolute horror she experiences at just the thought of telling them she’s gay.
That I can relate to.
I’ve grown into my skin enough to know who I am. I like boys, but I also like girls. I just love to love, I guess. Regardless, my parents wouldn’t understand — just like Bo’s wouldn’t. I’ve always thought that, maybe, they never really needed to know. After all, there’s a chance I may end up marrying a guy, right? Still, I can’t say I’ve never thought about telling them just to see their reaction. I wonder if I’d have their attention then?
But Bo doesn’t have that same thought. She can’t help who she loves, and she doesn’t want who her parents think she should — who the bible says she should.
It’s sad, and even though acceptance is spreading faster now than it ever did when my parents were my age, there are still so many who don’t understand.
Our parents are at the top of that list.
“What are you thinking about?” Bo asks, sitting and pulling one of the blankets up with her to cover her shoulders. The candlelight is reflected onto the front of her face while the moon and stars shine bright behind her. It’s absolutely stunning.
“Honestly?”
She nods.
I pause, leaning up to sit with her and nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m kind of scared.”
Bo’s face falls. “Of what?”
“Of what I want to do right now.”
She swallows, pulling the blanket tighter around her petite frame. “What do you want to do?”
If I thought my heart was beating fast before, it’s racing now — galloping — threatening to break my ribcage. “Kiss you.”
She relaxes, just marginally. “You’ve kissed me before, silly.” Bo leans forward, like she expects me to kiss her the way I always do, but I don’t budge.
“That’s not what I mean.”
She halts, her almond eyes snapping to mine. Recognition sets in and she exhales slowly, her breath just barely visible in the cool air of the night. With confidence, she drops the blanket from her shoulders as I open mine to her, instead. She crawls under, straddling me, her breath coming harder.
“Where do you want to kiss me?”
My hands shake as I frame her delicate neck in my hands, pulling her closer, our lips touching as I whisper.
“Everywhere.”
Bo closes the distance, kissing me hard as we both let go of the breaths we were holding. Her hands find my hair and I trail mine down to her hips, holding her tight as I buck against her. She gasps, and the sound does something to me that I’ve never experienced before. Every nerve feels tight, but awake — alive.
It’s suddenly no longer cold — not even close. It’s scorching, too hot for blankets, too hot to touch, but we refuse to stop. Bo moves her hands to my waist, pushing my shirt up slowly, watching it roll over my curves before finally stripping it off over my head and letting it fall on the concrete. I pull her back into me, kissing her hard, my hands greedy as they roam her body for the first time. When I snake my right hand between her thighs, she tenses, moaning, grinding against the contact.
I’m breathing so hard yet I feel like I haven’t inhaled once. Everything in my life is so wrong, but I only feel right in this moment. I’m scared, excited, unsure — and so fucking turned on.
Bo presses her forehead to mine, her breath labored as I find my way beneath the fabric of her yoga pants. When I find there’s not another layer separating me from her, I swallow, my fingers circling her clit, my adrenaline pumping. She moans, her head falling, back arching, hips rolling. She bites her lip as her heavy eyes pin my mouth. It’s like she can’t wait another moment to taste me, like her life depends on our next kiss, and when she finally presses her mouth to mine I wonder if maybe it’s true.
“Lay down,” she whispers and I obey. Bo winds her hips to the soft music coming from my phone as she peels my sweatpants off, lining her face up with the hem, following the fabric from my hips all the way down to my toes. I can’t stop shaking, even though I’m far from cold now. I will my heart to slow down but it won’t listen. I am out of control — blissfully unsteady and wild.
When Bo kisses her way back up my legs, her lips trailing a fire from my ankles to my inner thighs, my shaking becomes visible. Her eyes find mine just as she places one, feather-light kiss over my lace panties.
“Lei?”
“Hmm?” I ask, sedated, squirming beneath her.
“Is this your first time?”
My eyes widen. “No.”
She smiles, crawling up my body and settling between my legs. Using her knees to spread me open to her, she slides one hand beneath the hem of my panties and I inhale stiffly.
“I mean, is this your first time with a girl?”
Oh.
Her eyes pin my own, and all I can do is nod.
Her grin turns devilish, a dominance I’ve never seen in her before becoming more and more prominent. She breaks our stare just long enough to pull her sweater and sheer tank top up and over her head. Wrapping her hands around my wrists, she pulls them up over my head, pressing her lips to mine and rolling her hips into me. A jolt shoots through me at the point of contact and I moan, shaking hard, breathing harder.
With her shirt, Bo ties a soft knot around my wrists, pushing them into the mattress slightly before trailing her fingers down my arms to my face. “Keep your hands there. If you move, I punish you. Understand?”
Oh. My. God.
My mouth opens slightly as I nod and Bo smirks, kissing my lower lip. “Good girl.” Kissing her way down my neck, her hands slide under me and pop my bra effortlessly. I pull my hands down, thinking she wants to take it completely off, but she pushes them back into the mattress.
“Stay.”
I gulp.
Bo just smiles, blowing on my nipple before taking it in between her teeth. When her mouth closes over the sensitive skin, warmth spreads and I gasp. She moves to the other, giving it the same pleasure as chills break across my skin. I never knew Bo was the kind to take control, and with everything the way it is in my life, all I want is to give myself to her — completely. I want to submit. I want to let go.
Her lips graze my skin as she runs her tongue down my stomach, tracing the definition there. She tugs my panties off gently, slowly, her eyes devouring me. It feels forbidden, the way she makes me feel, and yet I’m only eager for more.
She barely kisses me first, her lips touching me just enough to drive me insane, but then her tongue drags against the sensitive flesh and I moan — loud, uninhibited. She smiles, sucking my clit between her teeth and sliding one small finger inside me.
Holy hell.
Arching my back, I buck my hips against her mouth and she sucks hard, adding another finger. Every pump sends me closer to the edge, every lash of her tongue makes me cry out her name. I’m rolling, reaching, trying to grasp the release just out of reach. It’s like Bo knows my body better than I do. She knows where to touch, how to move, the exact pressure to give without me saying anything.
And suddenly, the benefit of hooking up with another girl comes into view.
My hands fly to her hair and I spread my legs wider, reveling in the ache that spreads from the point where her mouth is still on me.
“I told you not to move your hands,” she says, breaking contact. She withdraws her fingers quickly, leaving me empty, and her eyes light me on fire. Gripping my hips, she flips me over with ease and before I can register what’s happening, her hand pops my ass. I moan as the sting spreads, my mouth falling open. Bo falls down on top of me, her fingers stroking my opening before entering me from behind. I feel her everywhere — her hair on my shoulder, her lips on my skin, her fingers deep inside me as she curls them, stroking the spot I know will give me the release I’m chasing.
“Just let go, Lei,” she whispers, thrusting her hips into her hand, forcing her fingers even deeper. Sliding her free hand down my back, she wraps it around my hip and presses her fingers hard into my clit, circling with just enough pressure to make me follow her command.
As I come, I let everything go. I scream her name, flex my hips, bite my lip, and with each wave I let a tiny piece of myself float away forever.
And though the release came slow, it crashed fast, and I collapse into the sheets, completely spent. Completely hers.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, chest rising and falling with effort. Bo smiles, pulling the blankets over us as she wraps her arms around my waist and brings me flush against her. She kisses my neck, my jaw before finally claiming my mouth again, and I taste myself on her tongue.
“I think it’s your turn.” I pull back, eyes playful, but Bo shakes her head.
“Just relax.”
I frown, but Bo just bites her lip with a smile.
“We’ve got all night,” she says, kissing my nose. “How do you feel?”
I blow out a breath. “Incredible.”
Bo grins, her eyes still heavy. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed.