IT’S ONE OF THOSE perfect South Florida nights.
Skyler’s hand is in mine, the wind blowing through her hair as we cruise around campus. She rented a hot yellow Ford Mustang convertible for Spring Break but asked me to break it in with her tonight first, and with the moon bright in the sky and Skyler’s short skirt, I should be ecstatic. I should be thinking of all the ways I’ll have her tangled up in the backseat once we put this car in park.
Instead, I’m thinking of the right words to break up with her.
The thought brings on another surge of nausea and I shift in my seat, pulling my hand from Skyler’s grasp to grip the steering wheel. She doesn’t seem to notice, just pulls out her cell phone and clicks through a few messages while her right hand surfs the air waves out the window.
I watch her for a moment, taking a silent inventory of all the things I’ll miss — her electric blue eyes, her almost-too plump bottom lip I love to bite, her contagious laugh and easy banter. The list is long — too long — but the list of reasons we should end things ran out of paper a long time ago.
The semester is flying by, spiraling me faster and faster toward elections. If I want the presidency, now is crunch time. I only have a little over a month to prove why I deserve the position and Clay seems hell-bent on finding anyone but me to move in. I’ve barely had time for Skyler this semester and it’s only going to get worse. It’s not fair to her, and to be honest — I know she feels the same when it comes to her tournaments. Whether she’s ready to admit it or not, she’s not a small-time poker player anymore. People know her, she has a strong reputation forming and more and more tournaments piling up, which means less and less time for me.
The fact of the matter is that we’re both young and we both have more we want to accomplish before we can give ourselves to anyone else.
The timing isn’t right.
I’ve tried to ignore it, but Clinton all but handed my ass to me at the Fratalina Wine Mixer, telling me I needed to make a decision that was best for the both of us. He’s right, I just hate admitting it. Add in the hot mess of confusion that is my relationship with Cassie and it all points to Disasterville. Still, I can’t help feeling like I’m about to do something I’ll regret later.
Sighing, I roll the volume knob between my finger and thumb until the car is silent but for the light wind. Skyler turns to me, smiling, and I run a hand through my hair.
“Sky, we need to talk.”
“Well that’s not ominous or anything,” she jokes, kicking off her sandals and propping her feet up on the dash. “Let me guess — you want to break up?” She giggles, sticking her pink tongue between her teeth in a teasing manner. When I just grip the steering wheel tighter in response, my eyes fixed on the road ahead, Skyler’s smile fades in my peripheral. “Holy shit. You do, don’t you?”
“Honestly, not really.”
“But?”
I cut the wheel right, steering us toward the small road that circles the campus lake as the realization of what’s happening settles in my stomach. “But I think we both know the timing isn’t right.”
Skyler wets her lips, turning to the windshield. “We’ve both been avoiding this moment, haven’t we?”
“I’m still kind of wishing I’d stuck with that plan.”
She sighs, wrapping her arms around her thighs and resting her chin on her knees. “Do you have some big speech planned?”
I shake my head. “I’ll skip the stuff you probably already know because you’ve been thinking it, too — like how I’m in line to be president and you’re blowing up on the poker scene — and tell you what I think you probably don’t already know.” Pulling the car into a parking spot in front of the lake dock, I cut the engine, reveling in the silence as I turn to face her. “I like you. A lot, Skyler. More than I’ve liked any other girl since I’ve been at PSU. And if I was a selfish asshole, I would stay with you as long as I could and let the pressure and the bad timing slowly tear us apart. I’d make you feel like shit for blowing me off on Valentine’s Day for a tournament and I’d make you sound needy for being upset that I skipped out on the auction for a fraternity meeting. I’d hold onto you and what we could potentially be even though I know it’d hurt us both in the long run.” I lean down in her line of vision, lifting her chin so that my eyes catch her blue irises. “But the truth is that I care about you too much as a person to become your enemy when I know I could be your friend.”
Skyler smiles, her hand folding over where mine is on her face as she leans into the touch. “I really like you, too.” Laughing a little, she shakes her head, pulling my hand into hers. “I almost broke up with you the night of the auction.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Yeah. Everything you’ve said is right and I saw it then just as clearly as we both see it now. Things are only going to get busier for both of us, and as much as we have fun together, I think we’re at the point where if we don’t stop the train now, we could land at a much more serious station than we ever intended on reaching.”
I can’t help but feel a small sense of relief. Skyler isn’t the kind of girl to lose her shit, but I had no idea how she would react to any of this. Knowing that she feels the same way about everything stings just as much as it soothes.
“I still want to be friends. And not in the cliché, asshole way. In the legit way.”
“Me too. And you’re coming to Spring Break. Don’t think you can get out of the trip just by breaking my heart.”
“Breaking your — ”
She laughs, cutting off my mild panic attack. “Kidding! I’m kidding, Adam.” Her smile is wide, genuine. “But seriously, you’re coming.”
“Don’t you think it’ll be weird?”
“Not if you don’t make it that way,” she sasses, still grinning. “Besides, the cars and hotels and activities are already booked. It’s two days away. You’re coming.”
“Well, not yet, but we could change that,” I throw back, waggling my eyebrows. Skyler smacks me across the chest and rolls her eyes, but then she pauses, her stare leveling, a fire lighting. She bites her lower lip just slightly.
“Actually, I really wasn’t kidding about breaking this bad boy in.”
“We have, haven’t we? I can drive around a while longer,” I say, starting the car and checking the time on the dash. Skyler just keeps her eyes on me, wicked smile in place. When the intention behind her words sinks in, I shake my head at my slowness. “Wow. Can we pretend like I didn’t just miss that cue and you still want to bang?”
“Ex sex is the best sex, right?”
“That’s what they say.”
Skyler raises the volume on the stereo as loud as it can go before leaning over the console, her lips finding mine for what may be the last time as a strong electronic dance beat courses through the small space of the car.
“Let’s prove them right.”