I THOUGHT DOING COCAINE would be the highest high I would ever feel.
I still remember the first time, the night we won first place in four categories at the South Florida Pole Dance Event. Hayden pulled me into the bathroom, we got high, and then we had the best sex I’d had up until that point. I thought that was it. In my head, it couldn’t get better than that feeling right there — the ultimate high.
But right now, stuffing the last bit of cash I needed into my small Vera Bradley backpack and handing off the final bag of Molly, a new kind of high sets in. It’s the kind that can only be obtained when the optimum feeling passes over you.
Freedom.
The girl who bought the last bag from me is young, maybe a sophomore, from a small private college in New York. She’s dressed in cut off, high-waisted jeans and a frayed top with a flower headband wrapped around her huge, bouncy blonde curls. She looks like she’s ready for a music festival, and with her new possession courtesy of me, she might as well be.
“Thanks,” she says sweetly, tucking the baggy in her pocket and skipping off to rejoin her friends standing outside of Sloppy Joe’s. I pull my backpack over my shoulders again and tighten the straps, hiking it up to my upper back. Most of the money I’ve made this week is stashed back at our suite, but today’s portion — the final portion — is finally resting right in the center of my back. Funny, it’s the lightest my shoulders have felt in months.
It’s only the third night of Spring Break.
I thought it would take so much longer.
Bo slides up beside me, her pinky hooking around one of my belt loops. Even though it’s hot and humid tonight, her fingers are icy as they graze my skin. “Who was that?”
It’s such a simple question, but her words chase away my momentary high of freedom. Because the truth is, I don’t know who that girl is. I don’t know if she’s a druggie or if this is her first time. I don’t know her apart from any of the other kids I’ve sold coke or Molly or marijuana to over the past few days. I knew going into this that I’d have to disconnect my personal feelings. I can’t think about them and save myself, too. I had to make a choice.
I chose me.
Still, what if someone gets hurt because of me? Would I even know? Hundreds of kids get too stupid on Spring Break and hurt themselves. But until now, I never had to make peace with the fact that I could, potentially, be the one responsible for that.
But they would probably find a way to get the drugs with or without me, right? It’s not like I’m the only one with a stash. And it’s their choice to take the drug, not mine.
Sighing, a bit defeated, I realize it doesn’t matter how I put it — I still did a shitty thing. But when I glance over at Bo’s almond eyes sparkling in the bright lights of Duval Street, knowing she’s safe from Xavier, knowing I’m free from his grip on my life, I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel guilty.
I feel relieved.
“No one. She just asked to borrow a hair tie,” I reply. Sliding my hand up Bo’s arm, I hook my fingers around the nape of her neck and pull her into me, pressing my lips hard on hers in the middle of the sea of Spring Breakers. For a moment, it feels like everything around us is muted — the harsh lights, the shrieks from tipsy girls, the bar chants from rowdy boys. Bo freezes, fighting the urge to moan, her hands gripping my waist before pushing me away.
“What are you doing?” she hisses, her eyes searching the busy street. “Someone could see us.”
I grin, knowing she’s right but not really caring at the moment. “Let’s go fucking crazy tonight. I mean like let’s take it to an entirely new level.”
Bo’s eyes light up and I feel my energy transfer to her. We’re tied together like that — if she’s low, I feel low. If I’m high, she feels high. We feed off each other.
“What do you have in mind, Ashlei Daniels?”
Grabbing her hand in mine and tugging her toward The Lazy Gecko, the excitement I felt building all day burns faster, consuming me inch by inch.
“Let’s start with shots and go from there.”
Bo giggles, bouncing with me. “Deal!”
A FEW HOURS LATER, BO AND I are closing our tabs at the fifth bar of the night. It’s late, or should I say early, but Key West doesn’t shut down until the patrons let it. Every bar stays open as long as they feel like it, and with the bass still thumping hard and bodies still pressed together on the dance floor behind us, I know they’ll be here a while.
Bo is signing her check when I spot him.
I’m not the kind of person who finds attraction to a person slowly. I know from the first time I meet them whether I’ll be into them or not. With Bo, the connection was instant, even if I didn’t voice it out loud. And right now, staring at a tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed guy just down the bar, I feel it — that instant assault of flutters in my stomach.
“Bo, what if I told you I wanted to do something really crazy tonight?”
She eyes me, letting her pen drop to the bar. “What do you mean?”
I swallow, unsure of what her reaction will be when I pose my next question. But the adrenaline is coursing through my veins right along with the alcohol, my freedom from the hell that’s been binding me for months making me feel more alive than ever. Taking her hands in mine, I kiss her knuckles and level my eyes with hers. “Have a threesome with me.”
“What?” she balks, her mouth hanging open. “Ashlei, I don’t… I just want you.”
I swallow, nodding. “I know, and you know I want you, too. I love you,” I say the words before thinking better of them, but I don’t take them back. It’s true. I do love her.
She closes her mouth, her brows pulling inward as her hands squeeze mine. “You do?”
I nod. “I do, Bo. You pulled me out of a darkness I didn’t think I would ever survive. And now that I’m here, in a better place than I’ve been in months, with you — I want to celebrate by doing something wild. But only if it’s with you. I want this with you.” She frowns, but I pull her closer. “Please.”
Bo studies me, chewing her slim bottom lip. “Have you ever done it before?”
I shake my head, and that seems to reassure her. “I just… I feel so alive right now, Bo. I feel spontaneous. It’s Spring Break, I’m here with you, I’m free from all the shit that’s been holding me back,” I trail off, not wanting to get into details since Bo isn’t aware of what I had to do to achieve said freedom. Tucking a strand of blonde hair behind my ear, I ask again. “Please. Let’s experience this together.”
For a moment longer, she keeps her bottom lip pinned between her teeth. But then, slowly, she nods, and when I smile, she does, too.
“Come with me.”
I wrap my arms around her waist and walk her with me, straight up to Mystery Man, whose eyes are just as fiercely attached to mine as mine are his.
“What are you?” I ask as soon as we reach him. Bo snaps her eyes to me, confused at my question, but the guy just tongues the inside of his cheek, grinning.
“I’m a lot of things.”
“What’s your ethnicity?” I clarify, taking in his strong jaw, long nose, and lean build. He’s so exotic, I can’t help but stare.
He chuckles. “Armenian.”
I cock a brow at Bo, but she only shrugs in response. “Is he the one you want?” I nod and she takes a deep breath, giving me a small smile that lets me know to make my next move. Excitement burns through me, its source at my core as I turn back to the guy.
“What’s your name?”
“Alex,” he answers smoothly.
“Alex…” I try it on, tasting it as my eyes skate over his muscular forearms. “Take us back to your place.”
BO’S HAND SHAKES IN MINE and I squeeze it gently, trying to soothe her nerves as the cab drops us at the large gate of a private home.
“I thought you said you were here with your fraternity brothers?” I ask, referencing Alex’s conversation in the car ride over. It turns out, he’s an Omega Chi. I have no fucking idea how I’ve never seen him before now.
He unlocks the large wooden door and gestures for us to walk in first. “I am.”
I shoulder off my Vera Bradley bag and toss it into a small chair near the front door as Alex shuts it behind us, my eyes on the lavish surroundings and my hand still latched onto Bo’s.
“A little high-end for a house full of fraternity brothers, don’t you think?” I ask, glancing back at him. He runs a hand through his dark hair and grins, his eyes heavy from the alcohol. “It’s my uncle’s place. He rents it out most of the year, so when I found out this is where we were going for Spring Break, he blocked it out so I could have it.”
“Wait, so you guys get to stay here for free?” Bo asks, now letting her own eyes wander the no-doubt expensive paintings lining the walls. Alex nods and I trail my fingers along the smooth, polished wood surface of the long dining room table before my eyes catch on something shiny in the next room.
“Oh my God, your uncle must be a bachelor.” Dropping Bo’s hand, I cross quickly into the other room, empty save for a few air mattresses blown up along the far wall and one, lone pole in the middle. One wall is made up completely of floor-to-ceiling mirrors and I note my wild blonde hair and dark, mascara smeared eyes.
Alex chuckles. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He slides up next to Bo and watches me carefully as my hands find the pole. When the cool metal hits my palms, I exhale long and slow, a rush of emotions hitting me — fear, excitement, longing. I’ve missed being on the pole, and I’m just drunk enough to not let the dark thoughts creep in as I grip it hard and swing my legs, hoisting myself up into an easy spin and high kick hold. I drop back down to the ground gently, balancing on the balls of my feet as I circle the pole, one hand still attached, my eyes finding Bo’s.
Suddenly, she doesn’t seem so nervous.
She seems mesmerized.
Alex’s eyes are on fire, one arm crossed over his chest while the opposite hand covers his mouth. They’re both watching me, enamored, and the power of their stares sinks deep in my center.
There’s no music in the room, but there’s always been music in my heart, and I let the passion I feel move me. Climbing my way back up the pole, I start with a few more beginner moves, spinning and holding flexes before dropping back down to the floor each time, circling, arching my back, sinking low to the floor only to climb back up the pole again. I’m not sure how long I dance before Bo crosses the room to me, her chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as I press my back to the pole and wait for her. She steps closer and closer, dark almond eyes hard on mine. When she reaches the space in front of me, she bites her bottom lip.
“You are so fucking sexy.”
I don’t smile, I don’t respond, I just slowly reach my hand out until I find her waist and then I pull her into me, pressing my lips to her neck and sucking her tender skin between my teeth, my back still flush against the cool surface of the pole. She hisses, letting her head fall back, and I kiss around the swell of her throat before finding her mouth. Her hands are in my hair, mine crawl her body as my tongue slides between her lips. When Alex steps into the space beside us, she stiffens, but I keep my touch calm and sure.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, my forehead to hers. She nods, concern still written in her features as I kiss her again. It’s so strange seeing Bo this way, so nervous and unsure. She’s the confident one in the bedroom — commanding, strong. As Alex’s hand snakes its way into my hair and he pulls my mouth from Bo’s to his own, I wonder if he’ll be taking the captain’s chair tonight.
My heart hammers beneath my ribcage as I taste him, new and exotic. Bo’s lips trail down my neck to my cleavage as she palms the space between my thighs. Moaning into Alex’s mouth at the touch, he pops the button on his jeans without breaking our kiss. I hear his zipper next, and then his shorts are on the floor. He kicks them away, just as Bo pulls me from him, her hand tugging at my tank top. I lift my arms and she rips it up and over, tossing it to the side before making quick work of my bra.
It’s almost too much. We’re all hands and mouths — stripping, kissing, touching, stripping more. Somewhere along the way we find the stairs, which lead up to a master bedroom Alex is clearly occupying. The four post bed is built with dark wood and lined with deep red accents that match the comforter Bo and I slide onto easily, feeling the cool fabric against our skin. Alex makes his way between us, propping himself up against the headboard and taking each of us by the waist as we kiss over him.
Bo’s breaths are still shaky, her arms trembling as she holds herself steady on the bed. We’re leaning over Alex, our tongues tangled, while he slowly strokes himself and watches. I massage her tongue with mine, each kiss an attempt to bring her energy back to mine. Just when I have her there, Alex’s hand moves from my waist to behind my thigh. It hovers there for just a moment before I feel his fingers penetrate me, and from Bo’s reaction, his other hand is doing the same to her.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers between our kisses. I pull back, panting at the feel of Alex’s fingers inside me and how turned on I am by Bo’s kisses.
“You don’t have to do anything to him. Or vice versa. Just focus on me.”
With that, I break contact from Alex and pull Bo with me, rolling over until I’m on my back and Bo’s straddling me. I love the way the skin stretches across her petite hips as she rubs against me, building a friction that will drive her to the edge. Alex takes my cue, moving between my legs and spreading my thighs open to him as I maneuver Bo up my body. When her knees are on either side of my head, I slide my hands down her neck, her arms, until I lace my hands in hers. Placing them on the headboard above us, I curl her fingers, locking them in place.
“Hold on tight,” I whisper, licking my lips. Bo’s breaths are heavy, her eyes hooded as I grab her ass in my hands and invade the space between us, flicking my tongue out to stroke her clit. She moans, letting her head fall back as her knuckles whiten with her tightening grip.
Alex groans from somewhere behind Bo and then there’s the sound of a condom package ripping. My view is blocked, my face completely owned by her, but I feel him. His hands — one on my hip, the other I can only assume palming himself as he places himself at my entrance. And then, with one, strong thrust, I’m filled.
I gasp against Bo, sucking her clit between my teeth to make her moan with me. My nails dig into the smooth skin of her thighs as she rocks her hips, her pelvis grinding against my mouth. Alex is so big, and it’s been so long since I’ve felt a man between my legs that the sensation is overwhelming. Each time he pushes into me he reaches a new depth and I feel myself climbing, higher, higher.
My hands snake up Bo’s frame to palm her breasts and she cries out as my fingers pinch her nipples. She’s grinding harder now, and I know she’s close. Wrapping my hands around her small waist, I flip her, her short hair blowing out in a whoosh against the sheets as it frames her face. Alex pulls out long enough for me to change positions, taking my place between Bo’s legs, a grin on my face.
“Do you know how turned on I am by you?” I whisper against her neck before sinking my teeth into the flesh. “I have never wanted anyone more than I want you right now.”
She moans, dragging her nails through my hair and pulling my mouth up to hers just as Alex sinks down over us. I’m sandwiched between them — Alex’s hard chest and abs against my back, Bo’s soft body below me. When Alex enters me from behind, I arch my back and Bo bucks her hips up to meet mine. One arm holding me steady, I glide the opposite hand down her navel, pausing at the small birth mark above her left hip before settling between her thighs. She’s still shaking, but now I know it’s because she’s close. When I thrust two fingers inside her at once, moving them in time with Alex’s pulses, her hands fly up to grip the headboard again.
“Oh God,” she moans, sucking her lips between her teeth. She’s fighting it. “Oh fuck!”
“Come,” I demand, and she does, her wetness soaking my fingers as her moans echo off the walls. Alex moans, cursing under his breath. I’m so incredibly turned on, I can’t imagine how he feels right now.
I lower myself for just a moment, kissing Bo softly, letting her ride the wave down. Her eyes flutter open to meet mine and she smiles. “You’re amazing.”
I just kiss her in response, but then Alex’s hands grip my elbows, pulling them together behind me. He pins them at my middle back, forcing an arch in my back as he plows harder, deeper, his mouth on my neck. He’s kissing, sucking, biting, and then he shares a look with Bo. They seem to agree on something not spoken aloud, because Bo leans up, taking my mouth with hers as her hand shoots between my legs. When she starts circling my clit, I break our kiss, crying out at the sensation. Her free hand grips my neck with just enough pressure to heighten my sensitivity.
Holy fuck.
Alex’s hands are gripping me so hard, I know I’ll be bruised in the morning, but I love it. Bo intensifies the pressure on my clit, biting my bottom lip, leaving my mouth open to scream as my orgasm shoots through me. Alex takes it as permission to come with me, and he flexes into me once, twice, deeper, three times, so fucking deep, his groans mixing with mine. It’s the highest ecstasy I’ve ever known. Every touch is amplified, every movement too much yet never enough.
Bo’s hands don’t leave me until I collapse against her, Alex rolling off of us and sprawling out on the sheets beside us, his chest heaving. My head against Bo’s chest, I watch him smile and shake his head before his dark eyes turn to us, flicking between the two.
“You girls are fucking wild.”
Bo giggles, her fears shattered now that the experience is over. “I blame her.”
Alex grins wider, baring his bright, beautiful teeth and I just shrug.
“I love Spring Break.”