Haven
I was feeling anything but patient. Somewhere along the line, I’d let Jake in, but it hadn’t been today. Maybe it had been the last time we were in Paris. And now I needed him.
He swept his hands over my partially revealed body. I closed my eyes and groaned.
“Baby, you’re desperate aren’t you?”
It was embarrassing. I was desperate and I couldn’t hide it from him. Was it just me?
He answered my question by pulling his towel open and revealing his hardness.
“Is this what you’re desperate for?” he asked, circling his cock with his hand, dragging his fist upward.
Relief crawled up my body. He wanted me. I couldn’t take my eyes from him, and I was sure I’d suffer further embarrassment when he discovered the wetness between my legs.
“You want it?”
He didn’t need to ask. I wore the answer all over my body. I strained against the belt, but that just pushed another jolt of desire through me as the leather scuffed against my skin. Did he need me restrained? Did I need to be restrained?
He brushed my hair from my face, leaned down and ran his tongue underneath my top lip.
“You want it?” he repeated.
I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered.
“I need you to understand a couple of things first. So I’m going to explain how it’s going to be.”
I drew my eyebrows together, my breaths becoming shorter, tighter. Why was he prolonging this? I needed to feel him.
“This is not a Paris thing, Haven,” he said softly. “You won’t run from me when we get back to London.”
Initial panic gave way to relief as I realized that I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted him right then; I needed him, always. He began to sprinkle kisses down my neck.
“There is not, and there will never be, a reason for you to push me away. Do you hear me?”
Right then I’d say anything to get him inside me. “Yes,” I breathed. I was tired of building walls.
“I mean it. We’re together now and when we get back to London. We’re together when I go to Palo Alto, when I come back, and the week after that and the month after that. Do you hear me?”
I nodded as he scooped his fingers into my bra and found my nipple, squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger. I arched off the bed.
“This is the start, not the end, Haven,” he said.
I couldn’t bear it any longer—my words broke free. “Please, Jake.”
“We’re crazy for each other, and I’m hard as a rock for you. This is going to be a night to remember.”
He moved off the bed and dragged off my panties.
“Oh, yes, beautiful. You are so completely ready for me aren’t you?” he asked as his gaze skimmed my underwear. I couldn’t hide my desire from him.
I scrunched my eyes, embarrassed.
“Never be shy about wanting me, Haven,” he said. “I enjoy seeing the evidence. Now I want to hear it.” He rubbed his hands up my thighs, his eyes flitting from my face to between my legs. “Tell me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was half-crazed from his touch, half-mute with shame from needing him as much as I did. If I spoke, I was afraid he’d know everything. He’d see into my soul and although it was what I wanted, I’d fought so hard for so long to keep it hidden, buried from his light.
“Tell me.” He sucked hard on the flesh of my inner thigh, first one side, then the other. It felt dangerous and delicious, as if he was cracking me open. Then again, higher and higher. My breaths came shorter. I could breathe in, but not out. I couldn’t let anything go.
“Do I need to spank you? Is that what you’re waiting for?”
Something in my head snapped and I felt myself let go of whatever I’d been holding. “I want you, Jake. I want you to fuck me, please. I need you inside me,” I said on an exhalation.
I heard the rustle of a condom wrapper and he crawled over my body, his hands on either side of my face. “I can’t wait a moment longer,” he said as his tip hovered at my entrance. I widened my legs and lifted my hips toward him, urging him forward.
“I’ll try and be slow, baby,” he growled.
I didn’t want him to fight his urge to slam into me. I wanted it as he did. My body needed to feel him. “I want it hard,” I said.
He groaned and pushed into me, farther and farther. Despite my plea, he was giving me time to adjust to him. I slid my knees up, trying to make room for him, but I gasped as he hit the end of me.
“Fuck,” I said, my hands clenching above me.
He brought his mouth to mine and pushed his tongue through my lips. I strained at the belt, wanting to be able to touch him. Last time, he’d released me after he’d made me come with his mouth. I was desperate to run my hands through his hair.
He pulled out and then pushed back in, faster this time, slick from my arousal. Then he stilled.
“I’m not going to last long, baby,” he said. “But I want you to come first.” I was close. He’d been in me only seconds, but my body responded so quickly to his hands, his mouth, his words, his touch. It was overwhelming. I shivered with need. He rounded his hips, pulled away and then slammed into me. The beginning of my orgasm fizzed across my muscles. The power he had over my body was absolute.
He rammed in again and pushed me up the bed with the force of his movement, loosening the belt. He caught me as I tried to break free, and hooked his hands over my shoulders, his fingers pulling me onto him. The sensation of the leather tightening around my wrists, a few whispers of pain mixed with the pleasure of him plunging deep, turned the fizz of the beginning of my climax into a buzz. I wanted to freeze time. That way I knew he’d never leave me. We could stay this way, a second away from ecstasy, safe, never quite letting go.
He watched me, our eyes locked as he moved above me, dragging my orgasm from every part of my body.
“Now, Haven. Come for me,” he instructed, and my body gave him what he wanted as I tensed and I came, juddering around him.
From somewhere I heard him shouting—indecipherable sounds of desperation and desire that intensified my climax and merged our bodies further into each other.
As his muscles relaxed above me, he reached to loosen the grip of the leather and pulled my hands free. I wrapped them round his neck and he dragged me closer as he rolled to his back, still inside me. Somehow, I needed him nearer to me. I moved my hands from his neck and tried to pull at his chest, his waist, but my hands couldn’t grasp him.
“Hey,” he said as he grabbed my hands and kissed my wrists.
“Jake,” I said, my voice quivering. I needed to know he wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted him closer.
“Hey,” he repeated and looked at me. I glanced away, not wanting him to see my glassy eyes. “What—?” He pulled out and I whimpered.
“No!” I said.
He sat up, took the condom off and discarded it on the floor. He searched my face, looking for reasons for my outburst. How did I explain that I couldn’t have him gone, not even for a second?
“Talk to me, Haven.”
“I want you near me,” was all I could say. How did I say that now that he’d cracked me open and shone a light into the darkest parts of me, I belonged to him? He might get bored, discard me, find someone who deserved him, but I would always be his.
He pulled me onto his lap, his arms engulfing me. It felt good, better, but not enough. I wrapped myself around his waist and buried my face into the hard muscle of his chest.
“Don’t leave me,” I mumbled against his skin.
“What? I’m not going anywhere.” He was talking about tonight, but I meant forever.