Jake
Beth was curled up on the sofa when I got in from dropping off Haven. “I need to tell you something,” I said to her. I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to bring this up, but I was going to meet Romano for a second time on Saturday. If Beth ever found out that I’d knowingly met with him, and I hadn’t told her, she’d never forgive me.
“Did you elope?” Beth asked.
God, I really didn’t want to destroy her good mood. “Nope.”
“Kiss her again?”
“Nope. I left her on a date with another man and came home as my penis shriveled up and fell off.”
“That’s a delightful image.”
“Well, you asked.” My phone rang and I glanced at the screen. Millie. Why was my ex calling? I pressed cancel and turned back to Beth. “I’ve only got Saturday and then there will be no reason for me to see her again. I’m in California next week and unless I think of something by then, I guess we’ll go our separate ways.” I slumped on the sofa, grabbing the tub of ice cream from her and digging out a spoonful for myself.
“Hey, you’re interrupting my threesome with Ben and Jerry.”
“You’re gross,” I said, shoving the tub back at her.
“So, have you decided to fight for her?” Beth asked.
“I have. I’m just not sure I’ll win. I’m not quite sure what to do.” My stomach churned at the thought of not seeing Haven again. I was running out of time and I didn’t have a plan.
“So what did you have to tell me, my penis-less brother?” Beth pulled me back into the moment.
“I don’t want you to get upset,” I said and then instantly felt like an idiot.
“Well, problem solved, because if you tell me you don’t want to get me upset then that’s that—I won’t,” Beth said around a mouthful of ice cream.
“Sarcasm isn’t your thing,” I said as I grinned at her.
“Oh yes it is. It’s exactly my thing. Come on, get it off your chest.”
I took a deep breath. “Well, you know Haven’s been dating these guys.”
“Yes, I kinda gathered from your hideously bad moods and the fact that you’ve told me so like a million times. What about it?”
“Well, the second guy was someone we both know.”
Beth paled instantly and put the ice cream on the coffee table.
“Romano,” I said.
She looked at me. “Shit.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hear his name again. I just didn’t want to keep it from you.” If I could have scooped out her pain and taken it on myself, I would have. I hated seeing her upset; it reminded me about how bad things had been for her and how I could do nothing about it. Romano and losing the baby had been a tipping point for Beth. She’d spiraled so far down I wondered if she’d ever be my sister again.
“I think I should call my sponsor,” was all she said.
I handed her the phone. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I never want to go back to that place again,” she said quietly.
“I know. You’re stronger now. What can I do?” I asked her.
“You’re right. I am, and you can’t do anything. You’ve done so much for me already. Thank you for telling me. Does Haven know?”
“No, she knows we have a history and that I hate him. I’ve begged her to stay away from him, but I haven’t told her any details. She’s having her follow-up date with him.”
Her eyes widened. “She is? You can’t convince her not to?”
“I’ve tried. The other two guys can’t do Saturday apparently and she’s on some deadline for Robert. He’s told her to bring a passport.” I pushed my hands through my hair.
“Wow.”
“She’s agreed that if I can’t go with her—I bet the sleazeball will try and pull some stunt to get her away from me—that she won’t go.”
“Okay, well that’s good. He’s not going to physically hurt her. And if Saturday’s the last time they see each other, then that will be the end of it,” Beth said. She seemed very composed.
“If it were up to me, he wouldn’t be breathing.”
Beth rested her palm over my clenched fist. “He didn’t turn me into an alcoholic, Jake. It wasn’t all him.”
“I know but . . . but I want to kill him,” I said.
“Yeah, well, you in prison is the last thing I need, so calm down. And I need to know you’re not going to lose it on Saturday.” Beth looked at me, waiting for my reply.
I nodded. “I promise you.”
“I’m going to call my sponsor,” she said as she got up.
“I love you, Beth.”
“I know, and I couldn’t love you more. I’m okay. Honestly. It’s a preventative measure.”
Haven had agreed that I could meet her at her place as Romano was picking her up at nine in the morning and he hadn’t told her where he was taking her.
“A stretch limo? Really?” I said as we stood at the top of the steps to her building, under the awning, avoiding the rain as the car pulled up.
Haven laughed. “It’s ridiculous. It’s like we’re going on a hen party.”
“A hen party?” I asked.
“Translation alert: a bachelorette party,” she explained.
I nodded. She was right; it was tacky. “That would be far more preferable.”
“For you, I’m sure. Loads of drunk women who aren’t wearing much,” she teased and poked me in the ribs. A jolt of energy ran through me.
I smiled at her and she smiled back. I wanted to reach out for her. “I’m not going anywhere without you,” she said.
Her reassurance relaxed me and I followed her down the steps to the car. She’d worn her hair up today. It placated me slightly and made me think that she was keeping a part of herself back. A part of her that I’d seen.
Romano stepped out of the car to greet us. “Haven, my princess. You look so beautiful.” He kissed the back of her hand. I could do nothing but stand there and watch.
“Mr. Harrison, or should I call you our third wheel?” He laughed heartily at his own joke. Haven smiled tightly and I glared at him in between capturing photographs of our ridiculous transportation.
We got into the car and Romano made sure he was sitting next to Haven on the back seat while I was to her side. He arranged himself far too close to her.
“Are you ready for the time of your life, Haven? I’ve got something very special planned for you.”
“Are you going to tell me what it is?” Haven asked.
“I’m taking you to Paris,” Romano replied.
My heart stopped dead. Paris? Paris was our city. Going back there might just kill me. It had been the place I’d cracked through Haven’s hard shell, the place where she’d given herself to me. I glanced over at her but she looked away as soon as our eyes met.
“I don’t think I can,” Haven said. “I have to be back. I’ve got house guests, I—”
“Nonsense, we’ll be back this evening. Unless of course, by the end of the day, you’d like to stay over. I can arrange that too,” Romano said.
My fists were clenched by my sides.
“Louis—”
“Shhhh.” He placed a hand on Haven’s knee, silencing her.
“You have a ticket for Jake, right?” she asked.
“Mr. Harrison can come too if you’d like, or perhaps it would be better just the two of us. More intimate.”
Haven looked at me as she chewed the inside of her cheek, clearly uncomfortable. Her hands swept her hair back and then twisted in her lap. I wanted to reach across and pull her to me, assuring her that everything would be okay but I resisted, just. If she said the word, we’d be out of there. I willed her to give me the slightest indication that she wanted to leave. I knew this article being ready on time was important to her, but was it worth spending time with him?
She turned to Romano. “Wherever I go, Jake goes,” she said firmly. Relief swept through me. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what she said or if it was because we felt like a team; we were on the same side and she was going to let me look after her.
Louis sat back in his seat and shrugged. “Okay. For now.”
Nausea rumbled in my stomach. I’d imagined going back to Paris with Haven, but never under circumstances like these.
Romano had the bladder of a camel. He didn’t leave Haven and me alone once on our journey. I wanted to check how she was feeling. She continued to look nervous, although she hid it well with an affected smile.
Conveniently, I was booked into a train car behind theirs, but I managed to negotiate a seat change, so I was two rows up and across from them.
As we pulled in to Gard du Nord, I glanced across the aisle at Haven. I wanted to be the one that brought her back here. As if she could tell I was watching, she turned to me. I saw something in her eyes I hadn’t before. It wasn’t about Romano. It was sadness, regret, longing. My breath hitched. Did she want me? Each memory of our time here played through my head in slow motion—her head on my shoulder, the last time we pulled into Gard du Nord, her flushed face when we stood in front of Rodin’s The Kiss, the feel of her at Buddha Bar. Was she thinking what I was?
“Have you ever been to Paris, princess?” Romano asked her, breaking our connection.
Haven flickered her eyes to me. “Yes.”
“Of course you have. But today you get to see it through my eyes.”
Haven was silent.
There was a car waiting for us outside the station. My muscles were jumping, my body on full alert. I wasn’t sure if that was because Romano was here or because Haven was. I could have run to Paris with all the energy I had.