CHAPTER TWENTY
You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth. –
Lily wasn’t pleased.
Sebastian had expected that—had expected for her to even turn him away the moment she saw his face. He was prepared to handle whatever deflection she was going to do, had even prepared a speech the moment she would open the door—the kind that was poignant and not-so-long, the kind that would charm her back into his arms. He had charm in spades, so it should have been easy to utilize. It should have been a cinch.
But when she opened the door, all words that were in his head were lost.
Lily was wearing boxer shorts and a shirt that seemed to swallow her with its size, and her feet were bare. She had no makeup on, and her hair was a mess, and she basically stared at him with her face frozen in a smile as she obviously expected someone else.
She was beautiful.
Time stopped for all but a few seconds. And then Sebastian was holding the bouquet of flowers out, and the grin had completely left her face as she kept on staring at him.
“Hello, Lily,” he barely managed to croak out.
She blinked. Then Lily took the flowers and nodded a hello, wariness entering her eyes. It made him regret all the things that he did back when he was still full of indecision, because she used to look at him with nothing but trust.
But she wasn’t driving him away. Yet.
Lily stood where she was, gripping the flowers hard. He inwardly winced at the way she was practically crushing the stems, but made no comment as they gazed at each other. Finally, when she seemed to get a grip of herself, she opened her mouth and said the last words he expected to hear.
“I have to work. I’ll…see you around.”
Then she left the door as it was and made a run for her bedroom to get ready.
The flabbergasted Sebastian stayed where he was, thoroughly confused. It wasn’t exactly the warmest of welcomes—nor was it the coldest of rejections.
But there was no flush on her face. Heck, there wasn’t even so much as an expression other than shock. Sebastian decided to stay in her living room as it was, waiting for her to finish dressing. When she did, she gave him a polite smile—polite, of all things—before saying a few more words.
“I’m late. I’ll…see you around.”
And then she was out the door before he could so much as utter a response.
Now it was Sebastian who was shocked.
*****
He visited the chocolate shop where she was working that morning, only finding out where it was because Janice was feeling slightly sympathetic towards his plight. As it turned out, Janice and the other women were already there when he came in—and the look they gave him while sitting in their spots would have frozen water in an instant.
He gave them a nod before going to the counter to order a slice of chocolate cake, then took a seat at a table in the shop’s other end. Lily wasn’t around, and a few minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching him before a pair of red stilettos came into view.
Sebastian looked up at Darla, found her smiling sweetly at him.
“Is this seat taken, Sebastian?” she asked.
No longer Pastor Seb. She obviously already knew. Darla waited until Sebastian indicated at the seat beside him before she sat down delicately. She started a conversation with him about Los Angeles and its splendid sights, suggesting he go out and spend some time to appreciate it, too. It was such an odd commentary that he immediately knew she was preparing him for the big speech, and so he waited, pleasantly answering her questions and telling her what he already toured that she might have missed. She kept up with the chatter, kept up with the friendly attitude and sweet talk, looking delighted to be in the company of a man.
The cake was served, a slice of chocolate that was topped with creamy icing and more chocolate fudge. Darla looked at it appreciatively before leaning her body towards him in a slow, graceful movement.
“Sebastian?”
He gripped the fork, sliced a piece. “Yes, Darla?”
“Why are you here?”
Calmly, he slid the piece in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.
“To get Lily back,” he said truthfully. It would be a waste of time evading the woman’s question. She had a knack for finding out the truth.
“Right. Sebastian?”
“What?”
Darla smiled. “If you hurt a single bone in her body or make her cry, you have four women to answer to.” She tilted her head, as if thinking it over. “And a beloved reverend and uncle.”
The words were said so sweetly, he blinked and paused chewing. Then Sebastian nodded his head and looked her levelly in the eye.
“Darla?”
“Hmm?”
“I’d rather cut off my own hand than hurt her again.”
This time, it was Darla who blinked and leaned back.
Then she gave him a brilliant smile that would have blinded—and dazzled—a lesser man.
“I’m glad we’re in agreement, then,” she said cheerfully. With that parting statement, Sunnydale’s resident spoiled rich girl stood back up and sat with her group as if nothing had happened.
Sebastian looked at his cake, replaying the conversation in his mind.
Then with a small smile, he continued eating.
*****
Lily kept herself busy for the rest of her Saturday, but she was polite enough to sit down with him during half of her break—the other half being spent with Janice and the others. She seemed calmer now and friendlier as she asked him how he was doing, even telling him a bit about her two new jobs with her eyes sparkling in excitement as she described them to him. He listened, asking questions when he could and listened some more, cherishing every minute she spent with him at that table.
He let her talk and made do with her placid expression. Then, when she was about to stand up and get back to work, Sebastian placed his hand on top of hers.
“I’ve missed you, Lil,” he murmured, deliberately using her nickname—the one he often used when he gathered her in his arms at dawn and buried his head at the back of her neck.
He felt her hand tremble slightly, saw the flicker in her eyes before she steadied her gaze. Slowly, he released her hand—and felt a deep, inward satisfaction when she almost bumped into a chair on her way back to the counter.
She was still affected.
*****
Sebastian waited until she was done with her shift. He waited until she finished her short dinner with the girls, then walked her back home. It was just after ten in the evening, and he had ordered a box of chocolates at the shop she was working in and gave it to her when they reached her door.
She smiled as she received the box, the kind of smile that had every part of his being lighting up.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely.
“You’re welcome.”
They stood in silence, then she cleared her throat.
“So…goodnight,” she murmured.
“Goodnight.”
Then Sebastian pulled her into his arms and gave her a slow, lingering kiss.
It didn’t exactly hurt that after a few seconds of surprise, she kissed him back.
*****
Courting her was a long, slow process. Sebastian didn’t want to crowd her too much, so he waited until she finished bonding with the girls for the whole two weeks before he finally visited her again. During his free time, Sebastian roamed the city—immersing himself in its culture, remembering a time when he had lived there, too.
He called his parents, who were now living in New York and respected art dealers. He explained that he was on sabbatical and reexamining his call to ministry. His mother was understanding. His father, as usual, was disappointed with him for wasting his life yet again.
“This isn’t wasting a life, father. I will continue to serve and to spread kindness…just like you taught me. I just don’t know if it will be in the church or not.”
His response surprised the old man, who was speechless enough to hand the phone back to his mother. Ruth Nolan wished him good luck with his discernment, reminding him that she loved him no matter what. It made his heart full, made him realize exactly how lucky he was.
Next, he wrote a letter to Reverend John, apologizing for leaving so suddenly—and why, when the time was right, he would be coming back whether it was to say goodbye or not. It was a matter of honoring the town and the man who had given him a second chance, and he vowed he would return to do so.
When the girls returned to Sunnydale, Sebastian started his courting in the most honest way possible—by asking Lily out on a date. She was surprised, but she accepted, wariness in her every movement as they ate in a seafood restaurant and watched the stars come out on the way home. He kissed her again, and she let him, melting into his arms even when she tried her best to resist.
He took her out on dates for a month, though sometimes they stayed in her rented house and watched movies all night long. He attempted to cook pasta once—unsupervised—but ended up almost burning the kitchen down so he didn’t attempt anymore after that. Lily couldn’t stop laughing, filling the room with her joy. There was a happy sexual tension as they looked at each other and remembered all the good days. Then the smile had gone from her face as memories replaced it.
He didn’t attempt to touch her—the one thing he wanted to do more than anything. He vowed he would wait.
And so he did. Even when he ached so much that she became a part of his dream every single night, he resisted, as much for her as for him. He wanted to do right by her this time.
And so he courted her. A month became two, then three—until finally, Lily’s eyes no longer held its initial wariness whenever he was near, and she was more open. He talked about his struggle with his vow to give his life to the church and why and what Reverend John had said to him. Lily understood a little more after hearing about the accident and Tanya’s death. She admired Sebastian’s commitment and willingness to sacrifice but she was glad he had changed his mind about celibacy!
They were just finishing up their cake for the night when Sebastian knelt down in front of her, shocking her to the core.
“I love you, Lil.”
Her eyes softened. “I love you, too.”
Quietly, he took out a box from his pocket, one he had been keeping there for days now. Heck, weeks. He opened the box, held it out to her.
Lily stared at it for a full minute, suddenly making him nervous when she said nothing. His heart dropped, and he was suddenly afraid she would never accept him completely.
But then she held out her arms, pulling him up.
“Yes,” she said.
His heart leaped. In joy, he remembered how to be arrogant, just a little bit. “I didn’t even pop the question yet.”
A laugh came out of Lily’s throat as she repeated her word.
“Yes.”
It was all that he needed.
That night, they made love for the first time in a long time. And it was hot. Wonderful. They talked after, apologizing to each other and promising more. Sebastian told her of his struggle to decide what he was going to do. He told her that he hoped to continue in the ministry somewhere and of his plans to go back to visit Sunnydale. Lily challenged him by asking one question: why visit when we can go live there and stop running away?
She was absolutely courageous.
And dear God, he just loved her more for it.
As they lay in bed and she slept in his arms, Sebastian vowed one more thing.
He was never, ever going to let her go.
THE END
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