CHAPTER ELEVEN
And I find a happiness in the fact of accepting—in the sublimely scientific and difficult fact of accepting the inevitable natural. – Alberto Caiero
Her smile, when she accepted Matthew’s subtle invitation to spend more time together, was the most luminous thing he’d seen in a while.
And Sebastian was an idiot for still thinking about it.
He’d done his best to fill up his time with activities—so many activities that he ended up exhausted by the time he got home, which meant sleeping without dreams of her was a guarantee. When he was tired, his mind was also blank.
And it was exactly how he wanted it.
Reflecting would have been the best option, to be honest—reflecting on what he had done, on his mistakes, on the things he should be doing moving forward. But for some reason, and for the first time in a long time, his heart and mind weren’t in synch with each other. They obviously wanted two different things that were complete opposites.
His mind wanted him to forget and do the right thing.
His heart wanted him to seek her out and touch her again.
Again and again and again.
Sebastian knew he had more self-control than that. This was the mantra he repeated in his head to get him through, and he was going to stick to this. Reverend John was a man he respected and wanted to be like when he grew old—and if he wanted to keep going that path, he needed to behave and stick to what he’d been doing these last few years.
But that didn’t stop him from seeing her smile in his mind.
A week after the camping trip, Sebastian was set to give a session on faith and the call to temptation. It was ironic that Lily ended up attending the session, when she was temptation herself. When he stepped to the stage, he found her sitting beside Matthew and trying not to look at him. The pair looked like a perfect couple—him with his pressed polo shirt and slacks and Lily with her thin summer dress covered by a light-yellow cardigan. He almost smiled at the tiny printed pasta designs all over the dress but caught himself at the last second.
The session went on for an hour, with a quick discussion after for half an hour, in which everyone participated. William began to take over the discussion, a routine they did so often that people didn’t protest or question it anymore. Just as he was about to leave the area, his gaze landed on Lily again and their eyes met.
Her face was carefully blank, those dark eyes staring at him openly. Sebastian found blood rushing in his system, an instantaneous desire that he could not control for the life of him. She broke the eye contact first. He saw her whisper in Matthew’s ear, then excuse herself from the group, heading towards the back of the church where the restrooms were located.
His conscience told him to stay where he was and leave her be.
But every cell in his body was telling him otherwise.
Sebastian gave it a minute. Then he subtly removed himself from the group and walked off to where she went, waiting by the candle station for her to return and pass by. A few minutes later, he saw a flash of yellow from his position and grabbed at the incoming person, hearing a soft gasp and seconds later, seeing her in front of him. He held her close, eyes on her as he asked one thing.
“Are you serious about Matt?”
Her eyes widened, right before she shook her head. “We haven’t even kissed, if that’s—”
It was all he needed to hear. With a low groan, Sebastian switched their position and nudged her back until her back was against the wall. She willingly went, her breathing turning rapid as his thumb caressed her lower lip.
“I’ve missed you,” he admitted.
Her eyes widened and he saw nothing but stark desire in them. There was no need for her to say anything because it was all written there in full view.
“Do you still—”
“Yes,” she interrupted breathlessly. Then Lily was wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body close. It was all the consent he needed as he kissed her right there, behind the candles and all the people still there.
Their first actual kiss was glorious. Her mouth was soft and supple, inviting him in as she eagerly kissed him back. This kiss had the makings of something more and unable to help himself, he put his hands on her boldly, sliding across her skin to bring her cardigan down. It got trapped by her elbows, but that was enough to expose smooth shoulders that he’d been wanting to bite since the last time they’d been together.
He cruised his mouth down, trailing his tongue down her neck, then her throat. And he bit her shoulder.
A low moan escaped her and the answering lust that flooded his system let him know they were going to have to take this somewhere else—particularly somewhere close, because he couldn’t take the waiting anymore. He kissed her mouth back, let it linger for a few seconds as their tongues intertwined and tasted each other, as if thirsty. Then he reluctantly dragged his mouth away and whispered in her ear.
“Follow me,” he said hoarsely. “Closet.”
There was a supply closet just beside the bathroom and it was the only safe place at the moment. Sebastian pulled her towards and they entered quietly. There was no lock, but there was no choice. Darkness surrounded them, an infinitely sensual situation—but he wanted to see her this time, so he turned on the light. It was dim, but it would have to do.
He closed the door fully, the quiet click their only indication that they were now somewhat alone. They looked at each other for a second once more before meeting each other halfway again for a kiss.
Lily kissed like the most eager and wanton human being ever, and it only added fuel to the fire raging inside him. Their hands were everywhere, touching what they could in the small space. Sebastian had backed her against the nearest available surface, which was a small desk. He let her cardigan fall off to the floor, his hands deftly lowering the upper half of her dress until he could see her bra. It was lacy and white, supporting her heaving chest.
He groaned at the sight.
In seconds, the bra was on the floor too, and his hands kneaded her bare breasts until she was pressing against him. Unable to resist, Sebastian cruised his mouth lower until his lips found one, kissing it delicately. Then he took her stiffened nipple in his mouth, which puckered even harder as he licked it.
Lily made a small sound. “Sebastian…oh, yes.” Her fist flew to her mouth, biting it down to keep herself quiet.
She was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted and Sebastian wanted more. Raggedly, he tore his mouth away from her nipple to feast on the other until he could feel her restlessness beneath him. Without words, she was saying that she needed more and he was prepared to give it to her.
Sebastian knew if he entered her right now, he wouldn’t last long. Christ, he hadn’t done this in years and the anticipation was killing him. He deftly removed her panties and tossed them aside, disentangling as her hands fumbled to remove his shirt, then his belt. He heard the zipper slide down and felt those hands slide inside but he took her hands and guided them upward before she could touch him.
He would explode right then and there if she did.
When she got the idea, he slid his finger in her core and found her wet. He groaned softly, inserted more fingers and thrust a few times to make sure she was ready.
Then Sebastian was freeing his pulsing erection, hard and raging to be inside her so badly.
Her legs parted in invitation and in one singular movement he thrust his rigid cock inside. The motion was smooth as he was sheathed to the hilt, and a loud moan came out of her mouth. He kissed her to interrupt the sound, savoring their closeness in a few still seconds.
Then he started to move—slow thrusts at first, changing in rhythm until her hips arched up to meet his every movement. The thrusts turned into a fast pounding as her tightness pulsed and her muscles clenched around him, and soon he was blindly fucking her, her body bouncing against his.
Time stopped. His vision tunneled and his heart stopped when he felt her clench around him so tight, her voice calling out his name as she climaxed. It took only one last plunge for his body to succumb and his climax to rip through him with mind-numbing pleasure. Sebastian pressed against her, the intensity of his orgasm leaving him suddenly shaking and exhausted.
Silence filled the room, save for their breaths, as he spilled inside her. Belatedly, he realized exactly what he had done.
As if reading his mind, Lily clutched at his shoulders and pulled him closer, her head resting in the nest of his neck.
“I’m protected,” she whispered.
He nodded his head, placing his mouth on her hair. Neither of them said anything more, because they already knew what their minds were thinking as they both slowly came down from their high.
This wasn’t going to be a one-time thing.
*****
They timed their return to the group, with Lily going first and Sebastian following suit after a while. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she sat beside Matthew and his hand automatically went to her now-covered back.
Jealousy struck: an unwanted sensation. He forced it in quietly and joined William up front, blending in the discussion as if nothing was bothering him.
Their tryst inside that closet felt like it lasted so long, but in reality not fifteen minutes had even passed.
Once the discussion was done, the church goers drifted out, with some staying behind to chat with him and William. He did his best to focus on the conversations, answered questions and pasted a smile on his face as one of the men expressed an admiration for their deeds as pastors and the good values they have brought in the community.
How ironic.
When the last of the attendees were finally gone, Sebastian nodded at William, not lingering to chat with the man. William gave him a quizzical look, which he ignored as he went off and left.
Two things warred in his mind, intent on driving him crazy.
He had to apologize for his sinful deeds.
And he had to have her again—no matter what it took.