While he waited to hear from her, Tristan settled down in his recliner with his laptop. The computer was his greatest expense—after his car—because he needed it to be capable of handling the programs he used for his design and gaming work. What he planned to do right then wasn’t work, per se, though it was connected. Most of the design work he did for C&M Builders was straightforward. The majority of their clients weren’t looking for architectural masterpieces, so he found other ways to unleash his creativity when it came to building designs.
He liked to peruse the web for unique architectural projects then he’d work to put his own spin on them. It was something he’d done for as long as he could remember, starting with the houses he’d built with Lego as a boy. It was how he’d stumbled upon the idea of the tiny homes. The challenge of such projects brought about a calmness to his mind. That focus usually removed all other thoughts, worries, or concerns from his thoughts.
When his phone rang some time later, it jarred Tristan, and for a moment, he considered ignoring it, but then he remembered the call he was waiting for. Grabbing the phone from the table next to where he sat, Tristan tapped on the screen to accept the call.
“I think…I think we’d like to join you,” Shayna said after he’d answered.
“Wonderful! I’ll be there to pick you up at five-thirty.”
Tristan wished he could leave right away because he had nothing to distract him since he knew he wouldn’t get caught up in his project now that he’d heard from Shayna. With an hour to kill, he closed the lid of his laptop and put it on the table. Getting up from the chair, he went into his bedroom to change into a pair of jeans and a sweater.
In front of the mirror in his bathroom, he made sure that his hair was combed into place. It was only in the past year or so that he’d changed up his style. For the longest time, he’d just let his hair grow, trimming it only when it got to the point where it would have looked better in a man-bun than left loose. Gabe had finally convinced him to cut his hair into a more presentable style. Strangely enough, when left to its own devices, his hair was a dark blond, but once cut, it looked more brown. That had taken some getting used to.
And though his style of dress had once leaned more toward black slacks and button-down shirts in light blue or white for work, and jeans and a T-shirt for casual, that too had changed in the last year. Sammi and Maya had helped him spruce up his wardrobe, adding in more color and helping him find a style he could wear with confidence, not just for convenience.
Still, he wondered what Shayna saw when she looked at him. Like Timothy, he’d been a slight child, and that build had carried into adulthood. He had neither the height nor breadth of his brothers. Most of them spent time in the gym lifting weights several times a week, while Tristan preferred to spend his time at his laptop. His happy medium was running on the treadmill so that he got his exercise while at the same time he could read books or articles or listen to podcasts that interested him.
Most days he was fine with the fact that if they lined the Callaghan and McFadden men up by height, he’d be the last on the short end. There were times, however, when he wondered if people—women in particular—thought him less of a man when measuring him against the masculinity of his brothers.
Still, he was glad that Shayna wouldn’t be meeting any of said brothers that night. Since there was nothing developing between them, Tristan wouldn’t introduce his brothers to her for the time being. Timothy had handled meeting some of the family at the hockey game quite well, but introducing Shayna would bring about a completely different reaction from them.
Closer to the time to pick Shayna and Timothy up, Tristan pulled on his jacket and left the apartment building on his own. Danica and Sierra had passed on the outing since they planned to go with a group of friends from the church closer to Christmas. He’d told the family he’d be taking his own vehicle if he decided to go, which he knew didn’t make any sense to them, but he hadn’t bothered to clarify why to anyone but Hannah.
The drive to Shayna’s passed quickly, and when he rang their doorbell a short time later, Timothy once again swung the door open, revealing he was ready to go. He grinned as he greeted Tristan.
“You ready to go see some lights?” Tristan asked, moving back from the door so Timothy could step outside, his booster seat in his small hand.
Shayna followed him out, pausing only to lock the door before turning to face Tristan. Her hair was down, covering a knit scarf around her neck, and she wore a thick jacket along with jeans and boots. They both looked ready for the evening ahead.
When they reached the car, Tristan opened the front passenger door for Shayna, then the rear one for Timothy, grateful he’d left the car running so it was still warm. He helped the boy situate the booster, making a note to himself to buy one so they didn’t have to keep passing it back and forth between vehicles.
Once behind the wheel, Tristan said, “We’re going to make a quick stop at Tim’s for hot beverages and maybe some treats, if they’re allowed.”
“I ate all my supper, right, Maman?” Timothy piped up from the back seat. “So I can have a treat?”
“Yes, Bug, you can have a treat,” Shayna said as Tristan pulled out onto the road running through the co-op.
“I have a question.” Tristan flicked on his signal, then waited for the traffic on the street to clear.
“What about?” Shayna asked.
“The names you have for each other. How did those come about?”
“Oh. Well, when Timothy was about three, he had a huge fascination with insects. Ants. Spiders. Grasshoppers. His fondest wish was to be a bug. In fact, his favorite movie was A Bug’s Life. Every day he had a different bug that he wanted me to call him. In the end, I just settled on calling him Bug. He was happy with that, and it just kind of stuck.”
“I think that’s really neat,” Tristan said with a grin. “And Maman? Are you French?”
“No, but once again, it came about because of something Timothy was interested in. One of the shows he liked to watch when he was around three or four also had a French version, and once he discovered that, he began to learn the language by watching that version of the show.”
“Wow. So you know French, Timothy?” Tristan asked.
“Oi!”
Shayna laughed softly. “Yeah, he learned it from that show and then again from school, but the only word he uses with any regularity is the one for mother.”
Tristan grinned at the revelation of the source of the names they had for each other. “You’re lucky. The best I get for a nickname now is Tris. When I was little, however, some of my siblings would call me Trissy. It sounded like they were saying Chrissy but couldn’t pronounce it right. Thankfully, they let it drop as we all got a little older. For the most part.”
Spotting a Tim Hortons, Tristan guided his car into the drive-thru. “Now, what do you two want to drink?”
“Can I have chocolate milk?” Timothy asked.
“I don’t know if you should,” Shayna said. “You might spill it.”
Tristan reached over and touched her arm briefly. “Don’t worry about that. If he wants chocolate milk, then he shall have it.” He hesitated. “As long as that’s your only objection to him having it.”
“It is,” Shayna said with a sigh. “I just don’t want him to make a mess of your seats.”
“It will be fine,” Tristan assured her. “Now, what would you like to drink, Shayna? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?”
“Hot chocolate, I think.”
Tristan rolled down his window, wincing as the cold air swept in. He quickly gave their order through the speaker, adding on an assortment of Timbits and some donuts. At the window, he paid for the order, then handed the two chocolate drinks to Shayna and placed his own in the drink holder. She gave Timothy his and placed hers beside Tristan’s before taking the donuts and Timbits from him.
Once it was all settled, Tristan pulled away from the restaurant. “Let’s go look at some pretty lights.”
As Tristan slowed to a stop at a red light, Shayna lifted her cup and took a sip of the hot chocolate, still wondering at the wisdom of having accepted his invitation. She told herself that it was for Timothy’s sake that she’d agreed, but the reality was that she wanted a break.
A break from all the stresses she was currently dealing with. For just a little while, she wanted to have something pretty and enjoyable without the worry of the future looming over her. Of course, it wasn’t gone completely from her mind, but being out of the house, away from the notebook where she’d been writing down apartment possibilities, meant that she didn’t have to focus on it for a little while.
“Have you been to see the lights before?” Tristan asked.
Before Shayna could respond, Timothy said, “No. We have driven around to look at lights on houses though.”
“I haven’t been to the light display in a few years, but some of my siblings bring their families each year.” Tristan gestured to the box of donuts. “Help yourself.”
“Are there chocolate Timbits in there?” Timothy asked. “They’re my favorite.”
“There should be.” Tristan lifted the box and handed it back to him. “Can you reach the light above your seat?”
Suddenly a small bit of illumination filled the interior of the vehicle. “Are these all for me?”
“Timothy Lorne Caron,” Shayna said sharply. “Don’t be greedy.”
“It’s okay,” Tristan said, once again reaching out to touch her arm. “I did get the Timbits for him. Some to eat now, and the rest for him to take home for later. You can be the one to regulate how many he’s allowed. The donuts are for us.”
“You can have two for now,” Shayna told Timothy. “When we get to the light display, you can have a couple more.”
“Thanks, Maman,” Timothy said.
“And thank Tristan as well.” Shayna wondered at how his manners seemed to slip away in the face of a special treat.
“Thank you, Tristan.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Is your family going to meet you there?” Shayna asked.
“We’re not meeting up with them, per se, but they plan to be there shortly after it opens too.”
“Will Benjie be there?” Timothy asked.
“I’m not sure,” Tristan said. “Kenton said he and his wife were going to see if his mother-in-law wanted to join them, so it’s possible that Benjie might be there, but we won’t see them since we’re all in different cars.”
“Benjie said that I should come watch one of his hockey games. Do you think maybe I could?”
“That would be up to your mom. I usually go to most of his games, but a lot of them are late at night.”
“We’ll see,” Shayna said, knowing how much Timothy would dislike that answer. It seemed to be the one she gave most frequently these days.
She hated to commit to anything when everything was still in so much upheaval. She knew, of course, that committing to Timothy going to a hockey game wasn’t a huge deal, but ‘we’ll see’ was her default response to anything he asked her lately. He was lucky she’d agreed to this little outing.
“I’ll text you the information on Benjie’s games,” Tristan said. “Then you can decide if there is one that might work for him to attend. You’re welcome to come along as well.”
Another invitation.
Was he including her just as a way of being polite? Or was there perhaps something more to his intentions? And if there was, how exactly did she feel about that?
Cupping the hot chocolate in her hands, Shayna allowed herself to consider that possibility. There was no denying she was lonely and often wished for a companion to help shoulder the burdens of life. The way she and Lorne had for done each other and had planned to do for the rest of their lives.
She knew she’d never love another man the way she’d loved Lorne, but did that mean she should be alone forever? Could friendship be a good enough basis for a marriage? A friendship kind of love?
It was the first time that she’d actually considered allowing another man into their lives. She turned her head slightly, taking in Tristan’s profile. He was quite different from Lorne…in all ways. Not as tall or muscled as Lorne had been, and with a much more subdued personality than him as well.
Where Lorne had been engaging and outgoing, Tristan seemed more reserved. He had already proven to be a good influence on Timothy since they were somewhat similar in personality and interests. And that was what was most important to her at this point.
Her time for love had ended with Lorne’s tragic and untimely death. Her love for Timothy, however, continued on, and to that end, it was important that she try to make sure he had the best life possible, and part of that was having a good man for him to look up to.
After Tristan had paid the fee to enter, he slowly began to guide the car along the route. Timothy made excited observations about each section. It seemed that the donut holes had lost their appeal for the time being. Shayna didn’t have anything to add to his enthusiastic comments, so she allowed herself to consider what it might be like if this were a picture of the future they could have together.
If Tristan was interested.
Shayna wasn’t entirely sure how to judge that. She’d had no experience other than what she’d had with Lorne, and that had been exceptional. From the very beginning, he’d made it clear that they would be together. That he wanted to be her man. Her protector. Her everything. And he had been.
Their love had burned hot and fierce.
She’d thought their love was special, and she still felt that way even three years after his death. Wouldn’t it be unrealistic to expect to be blessed with two such loves in her life?
So if she did decide to let another man into her and Timothy’s lives, she just needed to accept that the passion and intensity of her relationship with Lorne wasn’t repeatable. Her heart might have room for affection, but that kind of love? Shayna wasn’t sure it was possible, or even if she wanted to love like that again.
Loving that intensely and then losing that love had just about killed her the first time around. She wasn’t sure she could deal with that kind of loss again, should something happen. And no one could convince her that nothing would happen. Her life was proof that anything could—and did—happen.
When they reached the end of the display, Timothy expressed his dismay. “Could we go again?”
Shayna opened her mouth to respond, but Tristan beat her to it.
“Sorry, Timothy, but not tonight. I promised your mom that I’d have you back home in time for bed since it’s a school night.”
Timothy heaved an audible sigh. “Yeah. I know. Can I have another donut hole?”
“Yes. One more,” Shayna said. “Then we’ll put the rest aside for tomorrow.”
“Can you put one in my lunch for school, Maman?”
“I think I can do that.”
When Tristan pulled into their driveway, Timothy once again let out a big sigh, and Shayna found that she agreed with his reluctance to be back there. It had been an enjoyable evening—one of the better ones she’d had, of late.
She glanced up at the balcony of the second floor and the lights of their small Christmas tree. It was the first time since living there that she no longer wanted to go inside. Since word of Lisa’s need to move had come, the townhouse had no longer been her refuge. She’d been slowly releasing her attachment to it, knowing that it was no longer going to be the place she and Timothy could call home.
“Thank you for this evening,” Shayna said when Tristan walked them to the door.
“You’re very welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Tristan replied, a smile warming his face. “I hope that maybe we can do it again someday.”
“Please, Maman?” Timothy asked.
Keeping in mind her earlier thoughts, Shayna wanted to say no, but instead, she said, “I think we might be able to arrange something, depending on what it is and the day.”
Timothy threw his arms around her and hugged her tight. “Thank you.” Then he turned to Tristan and also hugged him. “Thank you, too.”
Tristan rested his hand on Timothy’s head. “You’re welcome. Now, have a good week and be good for your mom.”
Timothy stepped back and tipped his head to look at up Tristan. “I will.”
Seeing the two of them standing there like that brought feelings to the surface that she wasn’t sure how to handle. Maybe she wasn’t sure she needed a man in her life, but it was clear that Timothy enjoyed being with Tristan. Shayna opened the door and waited for Timothy to walk inside before she turned to Tristan. “Thank you again.”
He smiled at her and nodded. “Have a good night.”
She knew he’d wait until she went inside before leaving, so she didn’t linger in the cold. By the time she made it upstairs to pull the curtains on the balcony, his car was gone from the driveway, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be until they would see him again.