Shayna had never gone so long without contact with Lisa. The memory of their conversation just after Valentine’s Day almost two months earlier played in her mind whenever she wasn’t focused on something else. She regretted pushing Lisa as hard as she had about her feelings for Lorne. They’d never had such an intense discussion, and something told her that it might be something they couldn’t ever recover from.
While she was upset about the situation with Lisa, Shayna was enjoying the time she spent with Tristan. They’d fallen into a schedule of sorts, which she suspected was something Tristan appreciated, as did Timothy.
At least once a week, in addition to texts and calls, Tristan would come by the house for supper. Sometimes she’d cook something. Other times, he’d order them pizza or whatever else they were in the mood for. On Friday nights, Tristan would bring Sierra over, and she’d hang out with Timothy while he and Shayna went out on a date.
Saturday afternoons were usually spent doing something with Timothy, and on Sundays, they had started going to the Callaghans’ home for dinner after church. For the first time in her life, she was welcomed into a larger family unit.
Slowly but surely, Shayna was building friendships with various family members. Her friendships with Maya and Hannah helped to take the edge off the loss she felt because of not having contact with Lisa, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss her friend enormously. Part of that was because she felt like her last link to Lorne was fading away.
She’d always have Timothy as a physical reminder of the love she and Lorne had shared, but he had been so young, and Lorne had been away from home so much, that Timothy didn’t have clear—or many—memories of his father. Lisa shared a lot of memories with Shayna because she had hung out with the two of them more than anyone else prior to Lorne’s death.
So to have her relationship with Lisa end so abruptly, just as she was moving forward with her life, brought up emotions Shayna struggled to deal with. So she just shoved them aside. Maybe it was time to accept Lisa’s departure from her life and focus on the future. The future that looked more and more like it would include Tristan.
She’d taken her ring off—well, not completely off. It was now on the ring finger of her right hand. And after much internal debate, Shayna had removed all the pictures on the main floor that were of just her and Lorne. Most of them were tucked away in the bottom drawer of her dresser.
She had left up pictures of the three of them and ones of Lorne and Timothy. It was the only solution that sat well with Shayna. She wasn’t prepared to deny Lorne’s place in their life, even if it was only in their memories and pictures.
“Tristan said that Sierra, Danica, and Les are going to take me to the movies,” Timothy said as he came into her room. “Where are you and Tristan going?”
“Dinner and a concert.” Shayna smoothed her hands over her hair. “Are they here already?”
“Yep, but Tristan said you don’t have to rush.”
“Okay. Thanks, sweetie. I’ll be down in a couple of minutes.”
Left alone again, Shayna added a few things to the purse she was using for the evening then pulled on the light blazer she’d chosen to wear. Spring had arrived, according to the calendar, but the evenings were still quite cool.
When she got downstairs, Shayna saw that Sierra, Danica, and Les were gathered around the table while Tristan leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. He turned toward her as she walked into the kitchen and smiled. As she neared him, Tristan straightened and slid an arm around her waist.
He bent his head to give her a quick kiss. “Ready to go?”
Shayna rested a hand on his stomach and nodded before looking at the others in the room. “Are you guys going to eat here?”
“We’re going to stop somewhere before the movie,” Danica said. “Maybe pizza or burgers. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.” Shayna moved from Tristan’s side to kiss Timothy. “You be good, Bug. Okay?”
He frowned at her for a moment, then said, “Of course, Maman. I’m always good.”
Shayna laughed as she gave him a hug. “Of course you are.”
She looked at Sierra and gave her a wink. At some point in the last couple of months, Timothy had developed something of a crush on the young woman. He was always on his best behavior when she was around. Shayna hated to think about the day when Sierra got a boyfriend her own age and the heartbreak that would follow for Timothy.
“Go on,” Danica said, waving her hands in a shooing motion. “We’ll all be good.”
“I would certainly hope so.” Tristan came to Shayna’s side, his arm going around her waist. “I’ll ask Timothy for a full report later.”
Shayna loved how well Tristan and his family fit with her and Timothy, and she hoped that his family felt the same way about the two of them. She wanted Timothy to have more people than just her and maybe Lisa in his future. If something ever happened to her, she wanted to know that there was a support system in place for Timothy.
“Well, on that note, let’s go,” Shayna said as she stepped away from Tristan and took his arm, tugging him toward the stairs to leave.
They didn’t go anywhere fancy for dinner since it was just a quick stop on their way to the concert that was being held at the church. It was a Gospel concert with a variety of different groups performing.
As they settled into their seats at the church, Shayna didn’t really know what to expect of the evening. She’d agreed to come mainly because Tristan had wanted to, and she had wanted to spend time with him.
Probably the biggest issue in Shayna’s mind about her relationship with Tristan was how spiritual he was. He reminded her of Lorne, in that way. In her experience, religious people weren’t always good people. Her stepmother had been proof of that. Extremely active in her church, but she’d treated Shayna so badly.
When she allowed herself to think about it too much, Shayna would wonder how it was that she’d gotten involved with not one but two men who were very committed to their faith. Lorne hadn’t been that way when they’d first met, but after staying in the foster home with Erin and Noella, he had changed.
Tristan laid his arm on the seat behind Shayna, surrounding her with his presence. “I hope you enjoy the concert. I’m not the biggest Gospel music fan, but I do like several of the groups performing.” He paused. “I just wish that Dalton was here. He’d definitely enjoy it.”
Shayna had learned more about the youngest Callaghan over the months, and she knew how heavily his absence weighed on the family. She hoped that one day soon, she and Timothy would get to meet him.
For the next couple of hours, Shayna focused on the music and found herself enjoying it more than she thought she would. Maybe that was because it was less of a performance and more of an experience. These people weren’t just singing, they were sharing their stories through song and testimony.
Tristan sat close, one arm around her back on the pew and his other hand holding hers. It was an experience within an experience for her, and her heart felt full of emotion as the concert wound down.
As they walked hand in hand to the car, Shayna wasn’t quite ready to share what all was in her heart. Though she’d grown closer to Tristan over the months, there was still something within her that struggled to label her attraction to him as love. It just seemed that what she felt for Tristan was so different from what she’d felt for Lorne.
If her feelings for Lorne had been love, then what was how she felt about Tristan?
It was after ten by the time they got back to the townhouse. Timothy was in bed, and the trio of sitters were talking in the living room. Eva was home as well, but she was already up in her room. Sierra, Danica and Les didn’t hang around long after Tristan and Shayna got home.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Shayna asked after the others had left.
“I think I should probably go. I have to be at the office early tomorrow. Holly’s been doing interviews this week about the show home, and we’re hoping that exposure might bring in an influx of interested buyers before we break ground next month.” Tristan reached out and tugged her into his arms. “I’m sorry we couldn’t make plans for tomorrow with Timothy. I just didn’t want to have to cancel if we got busy at the show home.”
“That’s fine. Timothy understood.” Shayna allowed herself to relax against him, relishing the feel of his arms around her. “Maybe you could come for supper afterward?”
“I could do that,” Tristan murmured against her temple. “That definitely wouldn’t be a hardship.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
They kissed for a bit before Tristan loosened his hold on her and stepped back, giving her a rueful smile. “I think I’d better go.”
Shayna let him go a bit reluctantly. She’d never thought that she’d feel that way about another man, but she actually did enjoy the physical closeness that she and Tristan shared at times like that.
“Thank you for another lovely evening,” she said.
“Did you enjoy it? Honestly?”
Shayna smiled and nodded. “More than I thought I would, actually.”
Tristan’s brows drew together. “So why did you agree to go if you didn’t think you’d enjoy it?”
“Because you wanted to go. I figured I’d still enjoy the evening, just being with you.”
His frown smoothed out at her words. “Well, I enjoyed it too.”
She walked with him down to the door. “So supper for sure tomorrow night?”
“You bet.”
As he stepped outside, Tristan turned back and said, “I love you.” He gave her another lingering kiss before leaving.
Shayna stood in the open doorway, arms wrapped around her waist against the cold, watching as Tristan drove away. She wondered how long it would be before he got tired of waiting for her to say the words back to him.
The thought made her feel a little sick, but every time she considered saying the words to him, her throat would get tight, and she felt a pain in her heart. As if loving someone else, saying those words to someone else, would literally rip Lorne from her heart, and she just wasn’t sure she could handle that.
She cared for Tristan, and if he wanted something more serious in their future, she would agree because she believed that they could be happy together. The three of them. She’d do what she could to make him happy, to take care of him.
She hadn’t realized when she’d made the decision to date Tristan that all these months later, even after taking steps like moving her ring, she’d still find it so difficult to say the words, let alone feel them. It seemed like deep caring and affection were all she could offer him.
Would it be enough?
Tristan had been right not to make plans for the afternoon. There was a steady flow of people in and out of the office and the show home. He and Holly had realized before the first people even arrived that they needed to work out a strategy if they had several people come at the same time.
Unlike a normal show home, where many people could view it at the same time, a tiny home would barely accommodate three or four adults. Holly had asked one of her fellow agents to be at the office with her, and while Tristan stayed at the tiny home, the two women met potential buyers at the office. They’d then bring them to the tiny home to meet Tristan and ask any questions they had as they looked around.
They had worked fairly well as a team with only small hiccups when people wanted to spend more time in the tiny home while others were waiting. By the time the show home closed late Saturday afternoon, Tristan had come to the realization that he probably should have built two show homes, and also, he was done dealing with people for the day.
Except he still had to go to Shayna’s for dinner. Normally, that would have been something he looked forward to, but that day, he was tired and really only wanted the peace and quiet of his apartment.
Instead, he headed straight over to her place, knowing if he stopped at his apartment, he’d find it harder to leave again.
“Hey, Tris!” Timothy greeted him when he answered the door.
“Hi, bud.” Tristan held his hand up, and Timothy jumped to high-five it.
“Were there lots of people at the tiny home today?” Timothy asked as Tristan took off his jacket and shoes. “I wanted to go too, but Maman said no. That you’d be too busy.”
“She was right,” Tristan said as they climbed the stairs to the main floor, the aroma of something delicious growing stronger with each step. “We were super busy.”
“Did you sell lots of them?”
“Why don’t you let Tristan come in and sit down before you interrogate him, Bug?”
Tristan smiled his thanks at Shayna who stood at the counter with a large casserole dish in front of her. He went to her and gave her a quick kiss. “Smells good.”
“Hope you think it tastes good too. It’s one of Timothy’s favorites.”
“What can I do?” Tristan asked, even though all he really wanted to do was to sit down and not move for a bit.
“Not a thing.” She waved at the table. “Go ahead and sit down.”
Tristan sat in a chair where he could still see Shayna as she finished getting the supper together. As she did that, he answered the questions Timothy had for him. When Shayna had brought the food to the table, she asked Timothy to say grace for the food.
Throughout the meal, Timothy continued to talk about the tiny homes. Tristan was too tired to give anything other than short answers. He caught a few worried looks Shayna gave him, but he didn’t say anything until he was ready to leave.
“Sorry I’m not up for more tonight,” Tristan told her as they stood at the door.
Shayna had sent Timothy upstairs to get ready for bed, so they were on their own. “It’s okay. It sounds like you had a really busy day.”
“I did, and I’m ready for it to be over.” Tristan pulled on his jacket. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at church.”
He gave her a quick kiss then left. Normally it didn’t really bother him—well, too much—that she never seemed to initiate affection between them and had yet to tell him she loved him, although the thought had been popping up more over the past couple of weeks. Maybe it was because he was so tired that night that it was all he could think about as he drove home.
For some reason, he’d thought that, given time, she’d feel the same way about him as he felt about her, but if that was the case, she was definitely keeping it to herself. And he wasn’t sure what to do about that.
He had noticed the small changes she’d made. Like moving her wedding band from her left hand to her right and taking down her and Lorne’s wedding and couple pictures. But how long did he wait for her to love him? What if it was something she could never feel for him, let alone say it?
Tristan was well aware that ever since he’d told her he loved her on Valentine’s Day and realized she’d been unprepared to say it back, he’d made sure to quickly follow any future I love you with either a kiss or a redirection in conversation. Tristan knew he did that because he was afraid of the resounding silence that would follow his declaration. As long as he didn’t give her the opportunity to say it, the fact that she hadn’t said it yet could be blamed on that.
Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that wasn’t the case. If she had wanted him to know she loved him, there had been plenty of opportunities for her to tell him apart from when he said it to her. And on top of her not saying she loved him, she also rarely, if ever, initiated any affection between them. She did respond to his kisses, but he was smart enough to know that physical attraction could be present without love.
It left Tristan feeling like she was just tolerating his love. That it wasn’t something she really wanted because if she did, she’d be hugging and kissing him even before he initiated it. If that was the case, was it because of her loyalty to Lorne? Or maybe it was a desire to keep him in Timothy’s life.
So where did that leave him? He’d been praying about their relationship ever since Valentine’s Day, asking God to fill Shayna’s heart with love for him. Maybe it was time to change that request and ask God to remove the love that continued to grow in his heart for Shayna. If his love for her deepened while she didn’t feel the same for him, the only thing that would result would be even greater heartbreak for him.