On Friday night, Shayna was curled up in a comfortable armchair in Lisa’s mother’s dated living room, staring into the flickering flames of the fire Lisa had started a short time earlier. The scent of burning wood and the crackle of the fire was comforting, and Shayna found herself relaxing.
Timothy had gone to bed half an hour earlier, happy to be able to watch videos until he fell asleep for a change. They would be sharing a bed when she finally called it a night, but for now, Shayna was just glad for a little peace and quiet.
“Here you go.”
A mug appeared in front of Shayna. She glanced up at Lisa as she reached out to take it from her. The mug was hot, so she carefully pulled down the sleeves of the sweatshirt to cover one hand and then the other. Lifting the mug to her lips, the familiar aroma of her favorite tea wafted up to her as she took a sip.
“Thank you,” Shayna said as she watched Lisa settle into the armchair across from her.
“So what’s going on?” Lisa asked, peering at her over the top of her own mug.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh please,” Lisa said with a shake of her head. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
Shayna couldn’t argue with her there. Thursday night hadn’t been any better than Wednesday night.
“Tristan told me he loves me,” she said finally, hoping Lisa could help bring her clarity.
“I wasn’t aware that you guys were dating that seriously.” Lisa’s voice was tight. “When did this start?”
“We went out for the first time before Christmas.”
“So before you went to his family’s for New Year’s Eve?”
Shayna nodded as she stared into the fire once again, feeling a little guilty that she hadn’t shared more about it with Lisa before that night. “And after that, we went out a bunch more times, including Valentine’s Day.”
“Which is when he told you that he loved you?”
“Yeah.” Shayna thought again of the moment Tristan had uttered those words, and then the kiss that followed. “And he kissed me.”
When she looked at Lisa again, Shayna couldn’t read the expression on her friend’s face.
“He kissed you.” Her voice was flat. “And this has left you all conflicted?”
“Yes. A bit.” Shayna pulled her legs up, then rested her mug on her knees. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“Do you love him?”
Shayna mulled over the question. Saying no didn’t sit well with her, but neither did saying yes. Finally, she said, “I care about him.”
“I guess that was a bit of a dumb question. After all, if you loved him, you wouldn’t still be wearing Lorne’s ring.” Lisa paused. “Although, to be honest, one would think you’d take that off before you even started dating again.”
Shayna stared down at the band. Her fingers curled into a fist as the memory of the day Lorne had slid that onto her hand swept over her. When he’d asked her to marry him, he hadn’t had the money for an engagement ring, but that hadn’t mattered to her. What had mattered was the gold bands they’d exchanged on their wedding day.
Why hadn’t she thought about taking it off? What had Tristan thought about the fact that she was still wearing it? Maybe that was why he’d told her that she didn’t have to respond yet. Maybe he was waiting for her to take off Lorne’s ring.
“Why haven’t you taken it off yet?” Lisa asked when she didn’t respond.
“I don’t know. I didn’t even think about it.”
“Seriously?”
Lisa’s tone made it clear she didn’t believe her, but it was the truth. She’d worn that ring for nearly ten years. It hadn’t even entered her mind to take it off. She never took the ring off. It was a part of her hand. Maybe if she’d been used to removing it to clean or do dishes, she might have thought twice about putting it back on.
Shayna was starting to feel like coming to Lisa’s had been a bad idea. The attitude she was giving Shayna confused her. Hadn’t she been the one to encourage her to let things continue between Timothy and Tristan? And now she seemed to be objecting to Tristan’s place in their lives.
“Do you think I shouldn’t date again?” Shayna asked. “Or fall in love again?”
Lisa’s gaze slid away. “Some people are lucky to find a love like yours and Lorne’s once in their life.”
“So because I’ve already been in love once, I’m not allowed to have love again?”
Lisa didn’t answer, just sat there with her mug clutched in her hands, staring at the fire.
“Lisa, I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”
Still nothing.
Out of the blue, something Shayna used to wonder about came to mind. “Did you love Lorne?”
Lisa flinched at the question which gave Shayna her answer.
“It doesn’t matter now,” Lisa said.
“So do you think I’m being disloyal to Lorne’s memory by caring for another man?”
Lisa shrugged. “That’s for you to decide for yourself.”
“But that’s what you think.” Shayna lowered her legs, holding her mug in her lap. “So what was your role in my life supposed to be? Making sure that I stayed true to Lorne’s memory? I thought you were there as my friend.”
“I was—I am your friend. Lorne asked me to take care of Timothy and help you if anything happened to him.”
Shayna took in a quick breath at the revelation. So all along, Lisa had been there because of her promise to Lorne rather than because of a friendship with Shayna. Lisa had always been around Shayna and Lorne, even before they’d gotten married.
Lisa had met Lorne when they’d gone to the same high school during the stretch of time when Shayna had been returned home and Lorne had gone back into foster care. Back then, Lisa had been living in Winnipeg with her dad.
“Did you agree with Noella and Erin?”
“What do you mean?”
“They thought Lorne was wrong to leave the foster home to be with me on the streets when I ran away that last time. Did you agree with them?”
“Yes,” Lisa admitted. “I didn’t understand the hold you had over him. It didn’t make sense. It seemed like he did everything for you, but what did you do for him?”
Pain lanced through Shayna. Was that how everyone viewed her? That she had simply used Lorne?
“I think I’m going to go to bed.” Moving slowly, Shayna got to her feet. “We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
She set the mug on the coffee table and left the living room. Her body was shaking as she crawled into bed beside Timothy. This hadn’t been the result she’d been hoping for when she’d asked Lisa if they could come for the night, but maybe it was a conversation they’d needed to have. Hard as it was.
Still, she felt completely bereft. Again. Lorne and then Lisa had been the two most stable constants in her life, and now they were both gone.
After a restless night, Shayna was actually glad when Timothy woke earlier than usual. After promising him pancakes and bacon from a fast food restaurant on their way home, he was more than willing to leave the house without saying goodbye to Lisa. She let him play games on his tablet just to keep him from asking too many questions.
When she walked into her townhouse a little before eight-thirty, Shayna felt as if her life had completely shifted off center, and she wasn’t sure how to right it again.
Just after noon, Tristan pulled into Shayna’s driveway then walked to the door and rang the bell. He wasn’t surprised when Timothy opened the door, a big smile on his face.
“Ready to go, buddy?”
Timothy nodded as he stepped back to let Tristan in. “But Maman is still getting ready. She took a nap after we got back from Lisa’s.”
“A nap? What time did you get home?”
“Eight-thirty? We left as soon as I woke up.”
Since it appeared they weren’t going to be leaving right away, Tristan shrugged out of his jacket and slipped off his boots. He followed Timothy up the stairs to the kitchen.
“Did you have fun at Lisa’s?” he asked as he sat down on a stool at the counter.
It appeared that was where Timothy had been seated before he’d come down to answer the door. A glass of milk and a tablet sat next to an empty plate.
“Yep. We had pizza for supper, and then we played some games.” Timothy climbed up on the stool beside him and reached for his glass of milk. “I don’t know why we left so early. Lisa said she was going to make pancakes for breakfast, but we didn’t even see her.”
“So you didn’t get pancakes for breakfast, eh?”
“I did. Maman went through the drive-thru and got me some. And bacon too.”
Movement caught his attention, and he turned in time to see Shayna walk into the kitchen. She wore a pair of jeans and a black sweater that hung loosely from her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back, and even though she still looked beautiful to him, he could see that she was tired.
Getting up from the stool, he moved to her side and, keeping his back to Timothy, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You doing okay? You look tired.”
She gave him a small smile and leaned into him for a moment before straightening. “Yeah. Didn’t sleep too well last night.”
“Timothy said you left early this morning,” Tristan said as he stepped back so she could move into the kitchen. “Before Lisa was awake?”
Shayna sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “We had a bit of a disagreement last night, so I decided we might as well come home.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Tristan rubbed a hand on her back. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not at the moment.” She looked up and smiled at him, though it was a weary one. “Right now, I want to spend time with you and Timothy at the museum.”
Tristan wanted to argue, but instead, he just nodded and turned to Timothy. “I’m sure that’s where someone else wants to spend time as well.”
Her smile grew a bit more at that statement. “You’re right about that. He’s been talking about it for days.”
Though he was still a bit concerned about what had transpired between her and Lisa, Tristan decided to let it go for the moment. It seemed like maybe an afternoon at the museum would be good for all of them. While he enjoyed times with just Shayna, he also enjoyed it when the three of them hung out together.
As they headed out, Timothy happily filled them in on the new display he wanted to see at the museum—their reason for going in the first place. During the drive and then as they walked around the museum, Shayna’s distraction was evident. Tristan did what he could to pick up the slack when Shayna didn’t interact with Timothy like she usually did, which only heightened his concern about what had happened between her and Lisa.
“That was so much fun,” Timothy announced as they walked out of the museum a couple of hours later. “Thank you for bringing me.”
“You’re welcome, buddy.” Tristan rested his arm on Timothy’s shoulders as they walked to where he’d parked the car. He held his other hand out to Shayna which, after the slightest hesitation, she took.
Once they were back in the car, Timothy made a request that surprised no one. “Can we go for pancakes.”
“Sure.” Tristan glanced over at Shayna. “As long as it’s okay with your mom.”
“Yes. That’s fine,” Shayna said. “I hadn’t planned anything special for supper.”
Shayna seemed to try to interact more as they ate, almost to the point where Tristan began to wonder if he’d just imagined her distraction. Maybe she had just been tired, and Tristan knew that museums weren’t exactly her thing. So maybe it was boredom and lack of interest that had been to blame for her subdued behavior.
Though he’d known her for several months, Tristan still didn’t know all her moods or what she’d be like in every circumstance. He hoped to talk more with her when they were back at the apartment, but when they got there, Eva—who hadn’t been there when they left—was back with her boyfriend.
He’d met him a few times since Eva had moved in at the beginning of January. Dave Alsteen seemed to be a nice guy. He was friendly and willing to engage in conversation with Tristan and Shayna whenever they were at the townhouse at the same time. He even got along well with Timothy.
So while Tristan normally had no problem with Eva and Dave being at the townhouse, when he saw them there when they got back, he was disappointed. There wasn’t much chance of having a conversation with Shayna when the others were around.
“I guess it’s time for me to head for home,” Tristan said after chatting with Shayna and the other two for about an hour.
“And it’s time for bed for you, Bug.” Shayna pulled Timothy close for a hug. “Say goodnight to Tristan then head upstairs to get changed and brush your teeth. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
Timothy pouted for a minute before pulling out of his mom’s arms and heading to Tristan. He gave Tristan a hug and said, “Night, Tristan. Thanks again for the museum today.”
“You’re welcome, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Timothy nodded then headed up the stairs to carry out his mom’s directions. After Tristan said goodnight to Eva and Dave, he walked down the stairs behind Shayna. She got his jacket from the closet and handed it to him after he’d pulled on his boots.
Tristan hung his jacket over the end of the railing of the stairs instead of putting it on then turned to Shayna. He reached out to cup her cheek. “Are you doing okay?”
She gave him a smile that seemed equal parts sad and weary as she pressed her cheek against his hand. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Tristan gently pulled her close, worried but also enjoying the feel of Shayna in his arms. She leaned more fully against Tristan, letting him take her weight for a few minutes, her forehead pressed against his cheek. When she lifted her head, Tristan kissed her softly. She didn’t pull away as they kissed, her hand tightening in his shirt.
When the kiss ended, Shayna gave him another smile as he pulled on his jacket. Her smile was still tired but a little less sad. “Thank you for today. For coming along with us.”
“Anytime. You know that. I love you.” Tristan gave her another quick kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She nodded. “Yep. We’ll be there.”
Tristan felt a little better about Shayna’s mindset as he left the townhouse and headed for his own home.
Seeing that Shayna was pretty much back to normal the next day after church, Tristan decided not to push for details about what had happened between her and Lisa. He really hadn’t known her long enough to be able to comment on the friendship she shared with the other woman.
Their friendship had predated his arrival in their lives by many years, and he didn’t know how they typically related to each other. It was possible that they had disagreements and made up on a regular basis. He had his own arguments with Jackson that sometimes resulted in tense communications between them for a few days.
Hopefully that was all it was because, like Tristan, it appeared Shayna didn’t have a lot of friends, so losing one would be a shame.