As the evening inched toward midnight, Shayna was surprised by how much she had enjoyed it. Tristan had stayed at her side as they’d sat together in the family room, but aside from little forays into conversation with her, he hadn’t talked a lot to the others around them. At first, she’d wondered if she should be holding up the conversation for both of them, but it seemed that those around them were used to Tristan sitting quietly in their midst, and when she seemed inclined to do the same, they let her.
Occasionally, Maya or Hannah would ask her something, but they didn’t push for a long extended conversation with her. It made Shayna feel more relaxed than she might have otherwise.
“Are you all ready for Eva to move in this week?”
Shayna shifted so she could see Tristan more clearly. “I hope so. There wasn’t too much to do. When she came by to view the house, she seemed happy that she wouldn’t have to bring much furniture. Lisa left all her furniture, including the stuff in the bedroom.”
“She didn’t want it at her mom’s?”
“She didn’t need it there. Her mom’s house is fully furnished, so there was no need to take anything from the townhouse.”
“I guess you don’t need a guy with a truck to help out then, eh?” A smile tugged up a corner of his mouth.
“Not for furniture anyway, but I think Eva is coming with her own guy and a truck.”
“Oh, she has a boyfriend?”
“Yes. It sounds like they’ve been together for several years.”
“Well, if something comes up, let me know. At the very least, I could do a pizza run.” Tristan looked away and shrugged. “At any time.”
“Don’t let Timothy hear you say that,” Shayna said, leaning slightly to bump her shoulder into his. “Pancakes, bacon, and pizza. The only three food groups that exist for him.”
They talked a bit more about the pending move, then as the others around them began to get to their feet, he said, “We usually gather together in the living room so that we can sing and pray before midnight. It’ll be tight quarters, but I think we’ll all fit.”
When Tristan offered his arm, Shayna took it and held on tightly as he led her from the family room. She wondered if she needed to go get Timothy, but when she mentioned it, Tristan assured her the guys would bring him upstairs with them.
On reaching the living room, Shayna did wonder how they were all going to fit in the room, large as it was.
“Wow, you were right,” Shayna said. “It’s packed.”
“Do you mind sitting on the floor?” When she shook her head, Tristan pointed to the other side of the room. “Let’s sit over by the tree.”
At her nod, Tristan guided them around others already in the room and then motioned for Danica and Sierra to make space for them on the floor. Shayna took the hand he offered as she sank down to sit on the plush carpet beside Sierra, keeping an eye out for Timothy. Tristan had just settled beside her when Timothy appeared with Benjie and Elliot.
Spotting her, Timothy grinned and quickly made his way to them. Shayna held out her arms and pulled Timothy down onto her lap.
“Did you have fun, Bug?”
“Yes! I even won some of the races. It was loads of fun.”
Shayna was so happy to see his excitement. Their New Year’s Eve celebrations were usually fairly quiet, given it had just been the two of them and Lisa, and this year had promised to be even quieter if they hadn’t joined Tristan and his family.
A whistle pierced the air, and the conversation in the room immediately quieted. Shayna wrapped her arms around Timothy and looked at the entrance to the living room where Tristan’s dad stood. His mom was seated in an armchair near her husband.
“I hope you’ve all enjoyed the evening, even if we are elbow to elbow in here.” The man paused as people laughed. “For those of you who have been here before, you know that this is the time of evening when we pause to reflect on the past year and to think about the year to come. When we first started having these gatherings, our family took the time to each share their thoughts on the old year and their hopes for the new one.
“Now, of course, it’s clear that if we did that, we’d be here until next New Year’s Eve.” More laughter. “So instead, I’d like us to take a few minutes in quiet, to reflect on our own. Just before midnight, I’ll have Danica lead us in a song.”
Shayna swallowed hard, grateful that they didn’t have to share out loud. She and Lorne had used to share their thoughts like that on New Year’s Eve. They’d put Timothy to bed then watch the New Year’s Eve shows on TV, talking as they did so about the year ahead. They’d had dreams that they hoped would come to fruition in the next year.
That first year after Lorne’s murder had been twelve months of painful firsts, but what had taken her off-guard was how hard New Year’s Eve had been. Harder even than their first Christmas without him. That first New Year’s Eve without him had almost crippled her with grief. It had been a reminder of their last New Year’s Eve together, of the plan they’d had for adding another baby to their family, of moving to a bigger place.
Her first New Year’s Eve as a widow had brought with it the realization that her future had been irrevocably changed. The future she and Lorne had dreamed of was gone, and all she could do was try to help Timothy have the best future possible.
Her dreams. Her hopes. They were all gone.
As silence fell in the room, Shayna hugged Timothy close and buried her face in his curls, breathing in the familiar fruity scent of his shampoo. But try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to reflect back over the year that had brought her lower than she’d been in the past couple of years. At the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to place any hopes and dreams on the year that lay ahead of her.
Or at least, she couldn’t allow herself to give voice—even internally—to those hopes and dreams. To do so might bring on tears and sobs that couldn’t be contained. The last place she wanted something like that to happen, was in front of Tristan and his family. They’d been so welcoming and friendly, the least she could do was to maintain her composure in their home.
While she waited for Danica to begin singing, Shayna began reviewing her restaurant’s menu in her head. That definitely kept her emotions at bay. When Danica finally began to sing, Shayna let out a sigh of relief.
Pushing aside memories and emotions, Shayna got to her feet when the others in the room did. Over the next few minutes, excitement began to mount as the program on the wall-mounted television began to countdown to midnight. She smiled when Tristan bent and lifted Timothy up in his arms.
Up level with the adults, Timothy counted enthusiastically along with everyone else. And when the ball dropped, and people all around them were kissing, Tristan turned toward her and whispered something to Timothy.
Smiling even more now, Timothy placed his hands on her cheeks and gave her a kiss. “Happy New Year, Maman!”
“Happy New Year, Bug.”
Then he turned to Tristan and kissed his cheek. “Happy New Year, Tristan.”
“Happy New Year, Timothy.”
And then others joined them, offering hugs and wishes for the New Year. Though she hadn’t wanted to indulge her emotions earlier, she enjoyed being part of the celebration. She was glad that she and Timothy weren’t sitting by themselves at the townhouse. It felt right to be there, to be celebrating with this group of people.
Steve Callaghan once again whistled for everyone’s attention. “Let me just say a prayer at the start of this New Year.” The room fell silent for a moment before Steve began to pray. “Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for once again bringing us through another year. I thank you for each and every person here tonight and the way our lives have intersected. As we face a new year, please help us to find peace in the midst of any trial that may come our way. Joy in the midst of sorrow. Love in the face of hate and apathy. May You be glorified in our lives, and may all we do bring honor to You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
As people echoed the amen, Shayna found herself mouthing it silently herself. She wasn’t sure what the year ahead would hold—and she knew better than to hope only for the best—but regardless, the words Tristan’s father had uttered in prayer resonated with her.
With the prayer over, people began to shift around, many leaving the living room. Several cradled sleeping children, which didn’t surprise Shayna at all. She was somewhat surprised that Timothy was still going strong, but she had a feeling he’d crash when they got home, if not before.
“We can leave whenever you want,” Tristan said as he lowered Timothy to the floor. “No one stays around long after midnight unless they’re spending the night here.”
“Should we help your mom clean up?” Shayna asked, not wanting to appear rude by just leaving without offering to help.
“Actually, there’s usually not much to clean up. People take their serving dishes home, and pretty much everything else is disposable. But if you want to wait a few minutes for some of the others to leave, we can see if she needs any help.”
Shayna nodded, even though she was sure Timothy was going to start fading soon. Tristan nodded his head toward the entrance of the living room, and, keeping Timothy’s hand in hers, she followed him. They were stopped a couple of times along the way by people wanting to say goodbye.
“Maybe we’ll see you around sometime,” Erin said as she stood with her tall, dark-haired husband, James. “It was so nice to run into you and Timothy.”
“It was nice to see you too,” Shayna said, even though her heart wasn’t completely in the words, and from the expression on Erin’s face, she knew it. Of course, she wasn’t altogether sure that Erin had meant her words either. Certainly, she wouldn’t have several years ago.
“Take care of yourself,” Noella said, buttoning up her coat.
“You, too,” Shayna replied, uncertain what else to say.
Tristan said goodnight to them as well, then steered Shayna toward the dining room. The table looked emptier than it had earlier. Since Tristan was more familiar with his mom’s way of doing things, Shayna let him direct their efforts while his mom and dad spoke with those leaving.
“Let me just swap out this bag, then we can start gathering up more garbage.” Tristan lifted the bag out of the garbage can then told Timothy to bring him a fresh one from under the sink. Working quickly, he tied the full bag then carried it to the back door.
Tristan carried the garbage can to the family room, and they quickly picked up any remaining disposable dishes which had been left there when everyone had gathered in the living room. Once the room was free of garbage, Tristan had them begin to fold up the extra chairs that had been placed there for the evening. Timothy was quite happy to help her with the chairs, carrying them one at a time over to where Tristan was stacking them.
“We’ll carry the chairs down to the basement tomorrow…uh, later today,” Tristan said with a smile. He turned to Timothy. “Did you guys have much garbage downstairs?”
“We did have some,” Timothy said.
“Okay. Let’s go clean up down there too.” Tristan led them back down to where Shayna had left Timothy earlier that evening.
There was a bit more than some garbage, but it didn’t take too long to clean it up. After that, they carried the food that had been left downstairs back up to the kitchen. By that time, others were there cleaning up the food. She spotted Maya and Hannah, who smiled at her as she set down the bowls of chips on the counter.
“Thanks for helping,” Maya said. “I’m sure you must be anxious to get Timothy home to bed.”
“He seems to be doing fine so far.” Timothy walked into the kitchen with Tristan, each of them carrying bowls of food. “I just hope he sleeps in tomorrow.”
“I hear you.” Maya sighed. “I have a feeling it will be business as usual for Aika tomorrow. Thankfully, Gabe is happy to get up with her for the early morning, and then he goes and takes a nap once I get up.”
“Sounds like Ryan and me,” Hannah said. “Is Timothy content to be on his own if he wakes up before you?”
“Usually, but more often than not, he’ll bring his tablet into my room and crawl into bed with me. As long as he uses his headphones, I’m okay with that. I prefer it actually.”
“Ah, sleep…the greatest sacrifice when becoming parents,” Maya said then laughed after a yawn overtook her.
“Are you ready to go?” Tristan asked when he set her now-empty container on the counter. “I think we can leave if you want.”
Shayna looked at Maya and Hannah. “Is there anything more I can do?”
They both shook their heads then Hannah said, “I think we’re going to be leaving right away too. Ryan just went to get Justin into his snowsuit.”
“Thank you for your help, dear,” Tristan’s mother said as she stopped at Shayna’s side. “I hope you had a good evening.”
“I did. Thank you so much for including us in your celebration.”
Emily smiled at her. “The more, the merrier. I hope you’ll come back again.”
Shayna glanced at Tristan who just smiled and nodded. “We’d like that.”
And while her words to Erin hadn’t reflected her true feelings, her words to Emily Callaghan did.
“Let’s get your jacket and boots on, kiddo.” Tristan laid a hand on Timothy’s shoulder.
After saying goodbye to the people in the kitchen, Shayna followed Tristan and Timothy to the foyer. There were still some people lingering there, chatting as they donned their winter wear.
Tristan handed Timothy his things then got hers from the closet. He held the coat for her, lifting it onto her shoulders after she’d slipped her arms into the sleeves. As she buttoned it up, Maya and Hannah joined them in the foyer.
“I’ll call you this week once I’ve spoken to my friend.” Maya smiled at Gabe when he handed her coat to her then looked back at Shayna. “It was great to meet you.”
Out of the blue, Maya gave her a hug then Hannah did the same. Her interactions with these two women seemed so much more genuine than the interactions with Erin and Noella. Of course, their interactions over the years had never been positive.
Erin and Noella’s involvement in her and Lorne’s relationship had led to the one time she’d felt that Lorne hadn’t had her back. He’d tried to convince her later that he’d only told the two girls about her past and her reasons for running away from home because he’d thought it might help them understand her better. Given their own histories and what had led to them being taken into foster care, however, they felt that her reasons for leaving her family had not been valid.
And that had really come out when she’d returned that last time, which was when Lorne had once again left the safety of the foster home and returned to the streets in order to protect her. They’d made sure to let her know how they felt about that, somehow managing to track her down where Lorne had left her while he’d gone to try and earn some money for food. They’d lambasted her for dragging him down…yet again.
They hadn’t known the whole story though. They hadn’t known that she hadn’t contacted Lorne and had, in fact, tried to stay with others she knew on the streets when she’d run away again. She’d figured he’d be busy with his new life since she’d heard all about his wonderful foster family from others who had been in contact with him. Running into him on the street one day had been as big a shock to her as it had been to him. After that, he’d insisted on being with her even though it had meant returning to life on the streets.
So yeah, Shayna didn’t think they’d ever be truly happy to see her. And honestly, she wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to turn Tristan against her. To warn him off. To let him know that she was nowhere near good enough for him.
Well, maybe they wouldn’t be wrong about that.
“Ready?” Tristan asked, drawing her thoughts from the dark path they’d started down. “I started the truck, so it should be warm.”
“It’s snowing out there,” Steve Callaghan said. He rested a hand on Tristan’s shoulder. “So drive safe.”
“I will.”
“All of you drive safe,” Steve said as he looked at the others getting ready to leave. “And watch out for drunk drivers.”
Shayna frowned as she realized how much additional driving Tristan had to do because of them. What if something happened to him during that extra driving?
“Well, let’s get going,” Tristan said as he opened the door.
Cold air rushed in as Shayna grabbed Timothy’s hand and, after saying goodbye, they walked out into the frigid night air. Tristan closed the door then laid a hand on her back, guiding her across the wide verandah to the steps leading away from the house. It wasn’t long before they were in the truck and on their way back into the city.