Stella

With only my shirt from yesterday and my purse in hand, I lock my car and walk to my door. The key is in the lock of my front door, but before I have a chance to turn it, I hear, “Good afternoon.”

Looking over my shoulder, I see Brian sitting on his back porch. I just want to get in and clean up. My hackles go up, bothered that I have to play nice, which is really unfair to him. Keeping my voice light, I joke, “Good afternoon? I thought it was still morning.” I turn the key.

“Must have been a good night to lose track of time.”

I open the door, but stop and look back, not liking his tone, which seems to be more accusatory than friendly. “Yeah . . .” I let the word fade off, hitting the door with my shoulder. “Have a good—”

“Another Crow Brothers shirt in the span of twenty-four hours. New obsession?”

Stopping, I turn back, thinking I’m reading too much into it. He’s just being social. “Former obsession that’s come back.” That fits Rivers as much as the band, if not more. I step inside but stay visible. “How are you today?”

“Good.”

I hang my purse on the hook and toss the shirt to the couch. Going back outside, I stop at the edge of the porch and lean against a column. “The yard looks great. All the hard work has paid off.”

“I winterized the yard early this morning.” He points at the far-right corner. “I’m thinking about a garden over there next spring. Maybe a hot tub near the house over here. What do you think?”

I think you’re very lonely. Sitting down in a patio chair, I look at where he’s referring. “It would be great.” Turning back to him, I look at him, really look at him while he watches over his yard. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why don’t you date? You’re attractive, fit, own your home, and have a good job.”

“Nobody wants to date a principal, even one for a private school.”

“You’re more than your job. That’s something I’m slowly being reminded of. I sort of lost who I was.”

“You’ve changed since we first met. You seem happier.” If only he knew the truth. No. Wait. I don’t want anyone to know what’s happened to me.

“I hate to admit, but we met when I was at my lowest. I needed a job and tried to hold it together long enough for you to want to hire me, but I was a mess inside.”

“You were the most qualified, and even though you say you were a mess, you nailed the interview. Mrs. Warner and myself both agreed you were a good fit for Rostinal Private.”

“Can I be super honest with you and it stay between us?”

“Of course.”

“I think Mrs. Warner wanted someone to dump all her crap on. A lackey.”

“Is this about the Halloween dance?”

“No, it’s about the dance team before we found someone who actually knew what they were doing to take over. It was a judge last spring for the annual art exhibit. It was science fair, and now it’s about the dance.”

“You can say no,” he says, with a slight smile.

“Can I?”

“Private schools are run differently than public schools, Stella. With a smaller staff, we’re asked to cover several areas all at once. I worked the library for two months last year during Renee’s maternity leave. I just did what had to be done.”

“We should have a better budget. The families of our kids are millionaires. There are Porsches and Mercedes littering the parking lot.”

“It’s frustrating. But our budget will grow next year. I have a proposal I’m working on that will give us some breathing room. In the meantime, this banquet matters. I need to be in top form to schmooze these parents into large donations. Anything you can do Monday night will help the school.”

“I get it. I’ll do my best.” I’m tempted to tell him about Rivers, or maybe a warning is more applicable, a little heads-up about the celebrity who will be attending. Just in case things fall through, though, I think it’s best if I wait and see. Not that I’m having doubts of him keeping his promise to me, but more that I don’t know if he’s in control of the life he leads anymore. That’s something I want to ask him about later. How much freedom does he have? How free is he to say yes or no?

Let’s face it. I have a billion questions for him, including if he gets the wish he says he wants—me—how do I fit into his new life?

I guess it remains to be seen. We have three days together before he leaves. I don’t want to waste any time overthinking this, or us.

* * *

“Steaks?” Meadow points at the butcher counter. “Guys love steaks.”

“I do too, but we can’t afford the good cuts. How about burgers and hot dogs?”

Excitement strikes. “Burgers and jalapeno poppers. I’ll make the poppers. We need to get the Deep Eddy Vodka and mixers too.”

“Grapefruit vodka is on the list.” We wrap up our grocery shopping. Right before we reach the car, I say, “Oops. Forgot the Blue Bell. You go to the car and I’ll run back in.”

“’Kay.”

I didn’t forget the ice cream, though I did use it as my excuse. I rush through the store grabbing what I need and a half-gallon of vanilla ice cream and head for the checkout. Outside, she’s waiting in her car for me in the front. We’re quicker at the liquor store, and then we’re on the way over to the house.

I’m trying to keep it casual with my sister. She is easily excitable when it comes to Rivers and me, and I not only don’t want to set her up for disappointment if nothing comes of us, but I also don’t want the pressure or innuendoes tonight. I just want to have a fun and relaxing time.

As for her and Ridge, hell yeah, I’m going to tease. “You said Ridge texted you?”

“We texted back and forth yesterday,” she replies with a shrug. “I guess when you asked me about today, Rivers had asked him. Ridge texted to ask if I was coming over.”

“And?”

“And what?” She glances over at me. “I’m coming over. Oh and he said he’d bring the beer.”

“Nothing else? What did you text about yesterday?”

“You really need to get out more if living vicariously through me is your idea of excitement these days.”

Opportunity falls right in my lap, and I smile. I could tell her about my time with Rivers, but it might be more fun to keep the secret a little longer. She parks out front, and Rivers comes out before I have a chance to get out of the car. “Hey Meadow,” he says, taking her by the shoulders and kissing her cheek. “How’s my little sis doing?”

“So Hollywood of you, Crow,” she teases but also blushes.

He replies. “Too much?” He winks at me. I think it’s the too much bit, but I’ll happily take that wink and send him a wry grin in return.

“I’m going to start kissing everyone on the cheek. I’ll start with Ridge.” Meadow laughs and pops the trunk. “All good here. And you?”

“Go on in. I’ll grab the bags. Ridge is out back.”

I shut my door while he comes around. Looking back at the house, he seems satisfied and says, “I have something special for you.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

Cupping my face, he says, “Hello,” then kisses me the way I used to long to be kissed.

Although I’m weak in the knees, I manage not to melt into a puddle of goo at his feet. “Hello.”

“How are you, Stella Lilith?” he asks with such genuine kindness that he elicits my smile.

“I always loved when you called me that.”

“I always loved calling you that.” We move around to the trunk, and he starts pulling the grocery bags out of the car. “Glad you came over.”

“Me too. Meadow and I thought we’d get the food together, and you and Ridge could grill.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

We walk inside, and I spy Meadow hanging out in the backyard with Ridge. Now’s the time. Reaching into the bag, I hide the box behind my back. “I have something special for you too.”

“Oh yeah?”

Revealing my surprise, I hold it between us, and whisper, “I bought condoms.” He laughs so heartily that I check that Meadow and Ridge aren’t coming inside. “Shhh. They’ll hear us.”

Looking over my shoulder and out the window, he says, “They’re too caught up in each other to care what we’re doing in here.” Taking the box from me, he smiles to himself. “Come here.”

I follow him into the bedroom but wait just inside the room. He opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out a matching box. “Great minds think alike.” I laugh this time, so loud that I cover my mouth. We walk back into the kitchen, and as he digs into a grocery bag, he adds, “I like this side of you.”

“The horny side?”

Tapping my nose, he says, “Definitely that side, but the carefree side. It’s only been a few days, but you’ve really opened yourself up for me. This is the real you, the you I knew. It’s great to see you comfortable in your own skin.”

My defenses would usually fly up, but I know what he means, and I agree. “I feel relaxed with you.”

Taking me by the hips, he wiggles me back and forth. He peeks out the window and then pulls me to him. With my middle pressed to his, he says, “Since I’m making confessions, I’ve slapped jack a few times to the naughty teacher image in my head.”

I laugh. “I’m not sure if I should be offended because I’m not. I like that you’ve done dirty things while thinking about me.”

“It’s not the first time.” He smirks. “It definitely won’t be the last.” Taking a step back from me, he pulls out the burger buns and says, “Medium well from what I remember,” just as the back door opens, and Meadow and Ridge come inside.

I pull back, leaning against the counter. “Ready for a cocktail?”

Meadow holds up her can of Honey Pils. “Did you know Robert Earl Keen makes beer?”

“The musician?” I ask.

“Yep. It’s so good.”

Meadow’s not much of a beer girl, but since Ridge offered, she’s drinking. Turning to Rivers, I ask, “Mind if I make a drink?”

“Make yourself at home.”

It’s funny because when I think about the time we’ve spent together since he’s been back, I have felt at home. I’ve found myself thinking about him while at school and alone in my car while driving. I get a little fluttering of butterflies when I know I’m going to see him and find it hard to resist that charming smile. Meadow was right. I was holding on to the past to protect me from getting hurt again. But with Rivers, I feel more myself again. So even though I’m at Jet’s house, I do feel at home because it has nothing to do with where I’m located but everything to do with him.