Stella

I rip the page from last year’s yearbook and toss the book to the back seat. With my hand on the door handle, I stare at the apartment building in front of me. It’s worse than I expected, and I thought my expectations were pretty low. Nothing about this place has meaning to me. Not even the man inside.

Rivers asks, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I am. But please wait here.”

Running his hand through his hair, he swallows his natural reaction, too controlled when he turns to me. “You’re asking me to let him get away with hurting you. That’s impossible.”

“He doesn’t know what happened to me.”

“He should!” he shouts, hitting the steering wheel.

I reach over and touch his forearm with care before I shift closer, the cup holder and console under my hip. “Kiss me, Rivers.” I set the paper down and touch his chin, encouraging him to turn my way. “Please. Kiss me.”

His gaze finds mine just before our lips caress in a soul-searing kiss. It would be easy to forget this mess and fall into our bubble of love again. But we can’t, and we both know it. Until it’s settled, we will never feel safe. So when we part, I don’t move away quickly. I stay, our lips lingering together before he says, “I’ll stay here.”

I smile, a happy side effect of loving him and feeling how much he loves me. I kiss his cheek before grabbing the paper and getting out of the car.

Knocking twice, I stop and listen to hear if he’s home. I hear his grumbling before I see the peephole go dark and the two locks unbolted. The door swings open, and my father says, “Stella? What are you doing here?” He peeks out the door and looks down the breezeway. “Where’s Meadow?”

“Hi.” I’m suddenly unsure what I should say. “She’s not here, Dad. Just me.”

“Come in. Come in,” he says, shuffling to the side.

I promised Rivers to stay in sight at all times. It was the only way he felt it was safe. “I can’t. Can you come outside to talk?”

“Um. Okay.” He slips on his flip-flops and follows me to the sidewalk in front of the parking lot. “Is that Rivers?”

“Yes.”

His eyes go a bit wide in surprise until he looks back at me with a gentler smile than I remember him having growing up. It’s the kind that’s been beat down more than a few times in life. “I’m glad to see you’re spending time together again.” I glance back at Rivers who nods once. “Tell him I see him on the TV sometimes. He’s become quite popular.”

“Yeah. I’ll tell him.” Turning so we’re standing side by side, I hold the ripped page out for him to take a look. “Dad, do you know him?” I point at the principal’s photo of Brian.

He does. I can tell by his body language that he recognizes him. He’s slow to respond, rubbing his chin as if he’s deep in thought. When he looks at me, he says, “He’s a principal?”

“Yes. He’s my principal.”

Scratching his head, he seems lost on this train of thought, so I ask, “How do you know him?”

“Um. Why do I get the feeling you already know the answer?”

“Because I do. I just need to hear you say it.”

“Don’t go near him. You’re too good to get caught up in his world.”

“Too late, thanks to you.”

Taking a step toward his apartment, he asks, “What does that mean?”

“Tell me how you know him, Dad.”

“Poker down at that club in Sequin. The one where I lost the money.”

“You lost money. I lost everything.”

“I’m sorry, honey.”

“So am I. The only way I can fix this is if I know exactly what happened when you met him.”

Not five minutes later, I climb into the 4Runner and shut the door, making sure to lock it right after. Rivers asks, “What’d he say?”

“It was a friendly game of poker. Small bills for months. Brian had been watching for over a week before he anteed in. Everyone lost their shirts. They were told to be back the next week to try to win their money back, and they were not given a choice. The houses. The cars. Boats. 401ks were thrown in over the next month. He walked away with five men deep in debt to him.”

I stretch my arm to rub the back of his neck as he pulls out of the complex and starts back for the hotel. He reaches over and rubs my thigh. “What are you thinking?”

“I was recruited to Rostinal Academy through the university’s placement office.”

“Recruited or requested?”

“I don’t know. That’s the big question.”

* * *

Besides my sister, I’m most worried about Rivers. Logically, I know he can take care of himself—financially, physical health. But he’s a sensitive soul when it comes to the ones he loves, and he loves me. He would give his life for mine, and I for him.

With my feet kicked up on the coffee table of the living room in Johnny’s suite, I try to pretend I’m not completely freaking out inside. I am. My insides waver between an utter meltdown and surges of anger wanting revenge.

Meadow blends right in with this group of rock stars, even Tommy who has built a fan base of his own from managing living legends and helping others reach the height of fame. I’ve tried to not freak out that I’m in Johnny Outlaw’s hotel room or sitting just a few feet away from one of the most iconic drummers in music today . . . and Tulsa. He’s pretty awesome, too.

Jet’s come over and checked on me, his character deeper than an old soul’s. They’re rock stars. Allies. Friends. Brothers. When something happens to one, it affects them all. I’ve teared up several times over the past twenty-four hours when I see how much Rivers is given. Everyone has come together to be there for him, and he deserves it and more. He extends more kindness than he’ll ever expect in return.

While he speaks with Jet and Johnny in hushed voices in the far corner, I catch his eyes on me, checking on me, silently asking if I’m all right.

I am.

When I’m with him. But I worry about another downfall. Not cheating, but the drugs, or drinking himself into a stupor. He’s dug himself out from the hole he was once trapped in, but if something happens to me, if I die like his mother did, where will that leave him?

I’m not planning on becoming a vigilante, but what Brian said as we were leaving, the same thing Josh and Conrad Baird said, tells me there’s a connection that I can’t let go. I didn’t trust Brian after the stunts he’s pulled with me, but based on Rivers’s theory about my father being set up, my gut tells me Brian’s working for the wrong side. He’s not working for the police. He’s working for “the boss.” I’m not sure who I can trust at the police department. Even Suthers could be crooked.

Turning my attention to Meadow, I watch as she laughs and even flirts with Ridge. She has stars in her eyes even if it’s “nothing serious” as she claims. I see the same when he looks at her, which makes me smile on the inside.

I don’t know if anything will come of them being together, but it gives me some peace that she’s not miserable right now and happily distracted.

Plotting, I think about the first step and how to get out of this room without Rivers being with me. If he knows what I plan to do, he’ll be locked away for life for murdering Brian. I don’t want Brian dead. I want him to suffer for years to come.

Step one: Get coffee.

Step two: Hop in cab.

Step three: Find Brian.

Step four: Stay alive.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. There is nothing smart about this plan or safe, but I sit up anyway, and whisper, “Tulsa?”

He glances up from his phone with curiosity in his eyes.

“I want to get a coffee downstairs.”

“Okay.” After a quick scan of the room, his gaze settles on Rivers and Jet. “Do you want me to get Rivers?”

“No.” I quickly peek at Rivers. “He’s busy.” Just how I want him. “Anyway, it’ll give us a chance to talk.”

“Sure.”

When we stand and start for the door, Rivers says, “Where you going?”

“Coffee downstairs,” I reply, purposely keeping my tone even and on the lighter side.

He does exactly what I knew he would and starts walking with us. “I can go with you.”

His concern for me is heart-filling, but I need him to stay. “It’s okay. Me and Tulsa will be fine.”

Rivers insists, “It’s no trouble.”

“It’s no big thing.” Tulsa makes a mistake when he says it. “We’ll be right back.”

The comment takes him back, hitting him wrong. “No big thing?” He stops where he stands, and the room goes silent.

“It’s coffee, bro.”

“It’s Stella. So it’s a big fucking thing to me.”

Stepping between them, I say, “It’s okay. Calm down. I asked Tulsa to come with me. We haven’t had a chance to catch up yet.”

Tulsa’s entire makeup has always been to react and then think. Maybe he’s maturing or maybe it’s his wife, but he doesn’t get defensive. It’s as if he understands, and says, “I’ll make sure she’s safe.”

Rivers looks at me, then back at his younger brother, and nods. Coming to me, he kisses my forehead, and says, “Be careful.”

“I will. I promise.”

His eyes search mine a little too long. His hands hold me a few more seconds. He kisses me again as if his whole being knows better than to let me go. “I love you.”

“I love you, Rivers.”

When he doesn’t let me go, I take a step back, pushing out of his embrace. Tulsa opens the door, and everyone in the room watches as I force myself to turn around and leave . . . him and the soul that is begging me to stay.

Raising my chin up, I walk past Tulsa and down the long hall to the bank of elevators. I push the button, and Tulsa shoves his hands in his pockets as he rocks back on his heels. “What are we doing, Stella?”

“Getting coffee,” I reply, but I hear the inflection at the end and he does too.

“Are you sure?”

My gaze lowers to the swirly design in the gold, black, and burgundy carpet. “Do you remember the night Rivers and I broke up?”

“It’s hard to forget something like that.” The elevator arrives, and we step inside. He’s testing me every step of the way, and asks, “Lobby?”

“Yes. Starbucks is on the same floor.”

Jabbing it, he says, “Just checking.”

“I never got to thank you for what you did that night.”

“What’d I do?” His blue eyes are full of warmth like I imagine the deep blues of the Mediterranean Sea, not ice cold like the monsters.

Tulsa Crow always got a bad rap as the wild and carefree playboy. I guess being the youngest of three brothers—not having to be the responsible one and having two older brothers looking out for him all the time—gave him that freedom. After their mom died in the accident, Jet was stuck between being a father figure while fighting to keep his family together and still being a kid at just nineteen. He gave up college and walked away from a full-ride academics scholarship to work full time during the day so he could play music at night.

My Rivers was the lost middle child who carried the blame for his mother’s death. In so many ways, that burden still weighs him down. One day, I hope I can give him the carefree spirit of Tulsa and the peace Jet has found. Rivers needs to realize that his family only works because he’s a part of it. But today I have to do what only I can.

I reply, “You drove me home.”

His signature smile—a little happy, a lot cocky—shows up. “I didn’t do anything anybody else wouldn’t do.”

I laugh to myself, watching the floors end through the glass elevator as we enter the atrium. “You used to call everyone darlin’.”

“Now, I only call my wife darlin’.”

The elevator stops on the lobby floor, and we walk out, stopping just shy of the front desk. “You were so sweet that night. You let me cry on your shoulder and stayed a few extra minutes until I forced you to leave. I saw who you were then and knew the right woman would see through your act.”

“She did. Right through me.”

That makes me smile, my heart happy for him. Maybe because it feels like old times, the two of us falling right back into our brother sister relationship from years ago, but I give him a hug. “I’m so lucky to know you.”

He embraces me, and says, “I told her all about you.”

The sentiment makes me misty-eyed when I step back. “You did?”

“Of course. There may have been distance and time between, but you’ve always been a part of the family. Now I just get to see you again.”

“You could’ve always stopped by, but I understand.”

The smile softens in the corners, and he looks toward the coffee shop. “Are we getting coffee?” he asks again, knowing we’re not.

I shake my head gently.

Taking a deep breath, he looks me over. “I can’t just let you leave.”

“I’m not asking your permission, Tulsa.”

“What am I supposed to tell Rivers?”

“I don’t know. I just know what I need to do.”

“What do you need to do, Stella?”

“Find the truth.”

“Not alone.”

Taking another step back and two more, I beg, “Please let me go.”

“How determined are you?”

“If I don’t leave now, I’ll find another way.”

He takes a step forward, not to intimidate, but by the look in his eyes, he doesn’t want me to leave. “Don’t do this. It’s not safe, and if anything happens to you, what happens to Rivers? To me and Jet? What happens to Meadow?”

“You’ll be there for her. Rivers will make sure she’s taken care of. Jet will watch out for her.”

“And that’s better than you?”

Two more steps toward the door are taken. “No. But I have no choice.”

“You have plenty of choices, and you have us to help. That’s why we’re here.”

“Please let me go.”

“I can’t stop you, but I can follow.” When I turn to walk away, not wanting to draw attention as I leave, he says, “I’m right behind you. I’ll always have your back.”

A loud boom is heard, and I jump, startled as I look up to see Rivers descending in the elevator. I can’t hear him, but the look of devastation is enough for me to know that he’s yelling no.

“I’m sorry.” I run because I know this is the only shot I’ve got. Tulsa will be there. Rivers on his tail. I’m not doing this alone despite wanting to save them and set Meadow and me free.

I reach the taxi line, and the back door is opened for me. I’m about to duck inside and leave, but I know I can’t. He never stopped loving me. He came back for me. For us. For our future.

A bad decision on my part could ruin the good Rivers and I have rebuilt. I stand there, staring at the empty back seat because I can’t risk my life if it destroys Rivers. “Sorry. I don’t need one after all.”

When I turn around, Rivers and Tulsa are standing there, right behind me, having my back. And when I move into Rivers’s arms, it’s not just my back he has covered. It’s all of me.

“Going somewhere?” he asks, embracing me in his love.

“Nowhere without you.” The top of my head is kissed, and I add, “Brian is working for Conrad Baird.”