Rivers

The handcuffs are removed, and I rub my wrists as the door to the seating area is buzzed open. Teller insisted on keeping my hands confined . . . once he woke up.

Jet, Tulsa, and Tommy stand while Stella runs to me and throws her arms around my neck. She says, “This is not how I expected our reunion to go.”

“Me either,” I reply, my blood still boiling. “I think it’s best if Teller keeps his distance from me.”

“Best for him.” Jet chuckles. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, ya punk ass.”

“In my defense, he told me to do it.”

Tulsa shakes his head, but he’s chuckling. “Save it for the judge. But a little heads-up, they don’t like people hitting cops.”

“He’s a dirty fucking cop.”

Pushing the door open, Tommy says, “Can we get out of here? Everything in here will be used against us.”

The van that drove us here is waiting in front of the station. We pile inside and I lean my back against the window. “Where’s Meadow?”

Stella slides across the bench closer to me. “With Ridge at the hotel.”

“So this is just going to be their thing when he’s in town.”

She shrugs. “Meadow claims it’s nothing serious.”

“So I hear.”

The van leaves the lot, and Tommy says, “The guys are sleeping. You’ll be happy to know that Teller isn’t pressing charges, and the whole event is being suppressed due to the case they’re working on with Stella.”

I turn to her for answers without asking the questions that fill my brain and make me ragey. Before I have a chance to voice any of them, she rests her hand on my leg. “Don’t worry. I’m fine. I only told them I wouldn’t work with them if anything happened to you.”

“You shouldn’t have done that. I can take care of myself.”

“You can.” She nods, placating me. “But I can too.”

“They’re using you, Stella.”

“If it gets those monsters put behind bars, then I’m okay with sharing my story with the police.”

“What else will you have to share?” I shouldn’t have said it, but it’s out there now.

She says, “We’ve come this far, but I need your support to go the distance.”

“You have me for whatever you need. I just don’t want you hurt.”

Laughing, she leans her head on my shoulder. “Me either.”

“Fuck.” I rub my eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

Tulsa pipes up from the back seat. “Silver lining—”

“There’s a silver lining?” I stretch my arm across the seat behind Stella and look back at my brother.

“You landed a solid on that asshole’s face.”

Jet jokes, “We would have disowned you if you didn’t.”

Reaching over the seat, I hold my fist out. Jet hits it, and Tulsa stretches from behind him to bump. Brothers don’t leave brothers hanging.

Tommy groans. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

I lean forward and squeeze his shoulder. “We’ll keep you young forever, old man.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Covering Stella’s hand that’s resting on my leg, I angle and wrap my arm around her shoulders. “Sorry about this mess.”

Her head rests on my shoulder. “He deserved it.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, he did, but I was talking about you having to deal with my arrest when you should be resting.”

“I called in, so a substitute could be brought in to cover my classes.”

“Good. We need to talk about your job.”

“Can we talk after getting some sleep? I don’t think I can keep my eyes open much longer.”

I hold her even closer and kiss the top of her head. “I think that’s best.”

* * *

With the blinds closed to keep out the day, Stella and I have been lying in this hotel room in downtown Austin for over an hour. I like listening to her sleep except when she whimpers, and then I hold her a little tighter until her breath evens and her heart goes back to steady.

My body is beyond exhausted, but my mind won’t rest. I can’t get Baird’s face out of my head. A bigwig about town raping innocent girls for his own sick pleasure. Fucking hell. That’s a front-page headline if I’ve ever read one. Since I don’t know what was discussed after I KO’d Teller, I’m not in on the plan in play.

I’m still trying to figure out how Brian’s a cop, yet he treated Stella like he did. He’s violated her rights on several occasions. Are we supposed to just accept it, like oh, he was doing his job? How is harassing her and walking in on her while she’s naked doing his job?

Fucker.

“You need sleep, Rivers.”

“Did I wake you?”

“You’re holding me too tight.”

I chuckle. “There are worse things, I suppose.”

“Yes,” she says, lifting up to see me in the dark. “Like getting tossed in a cell for hitting a cop.”

“He had it coming, and technically, he told me to—”

“I know. I know. He told you to do it.” I like the feel of her body when she’s laughing. Beats the crying any day. I like that I’m the one who made her laugh even more. “While you were in the clinker,” she starts, “doing time for your unruly and extremely sexy behavior, I was thinking.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “About?”

“What to do next.” She pushes up and leans against the headboard. She’s still next to me, so I give her the space she seems to need right now.

My eyes have adjusted to the dark since I’ve been awake the whole time, and enough light peeks through the cracks at the sides of the drapes to see her, watch her, admire her. “What are you thinking?”

She’s not fidgeting or nervous. She is contemplative, though, and her words feel measured. “I’m quitting my job. I’ve been saving every spare penny to put toward a deposit on an apartment with Meadow. She has more than a month left on her lease. Without rent or house bills, I can take the money I’ve saved and live off it for two months.”

Resting on my elbow, I say, “I think—”

“No, please. Let me finish first because you’re going to swoop in here and say something chivalrous, and although I love it and you, this is my mess, and I should be the one to fix it. I will still have to pay for my phone and my car and insurance. I’m letting my healthcare lapse because there’s no way I can pay for that. I’m selling my furniture and getting rid of most of my stuff, but I also don’t want Meadow living alone right now.” She turns away from me, toying with her bottom lip.

She’s truly amazing, but I can tell this weighs heavily on her, and she’s right about me. I do want to swoop in and make things better, easier on her. But she’s stubborn. I can offer to help all day long, but she needs to want that help before she’ll ever take it. “It’s a lot to ask, and I’ll make sure to ask your brother as well, but I was wondering if Meadow and I could stay at Jet’s house while we figure out our next step.”

Next step? Fuck. “I thought I would be your next step?”

She slides back down under the covers and faces me with her head on the pillow. “When you think of us, what do you envision?”

“You know what I see. I want to be with you, but I don’t know what you see for our future.”

“The truth is, I’m scared.” Looking at my chest, she traces the star tattoo. “I’m scared of how easily we fell back into us. I’m scared of how I fit into your new life. I’m scared to move to LA. I’m scared to leave my sister while she finishes school. Rivers, the only thing I’m not scared of is loving you.”

“You don’t have to be scared. I don’t want that. I’ll be there for you. My brothers are there. Once you get to know Hannah, I know you’ll like her, and she went through a similar transition. I know she’ll be there for you as well. And Nikki. She’s from California. You have all of us to lean on. You have us for support.”

“But Meadow—”

“I will help Meadow however she needs or, should I say, lets me. She’s pretty independent. She’s not going to quit school to move to LA, and she shouldn’t. She needs to finish.”

“She’ll be alone.”

“I’m not settled in LA, but it’s becoming evident I need to be there. I need you to tell me what you want. If that’s me traveling back and forth to be with you, I’ll do it.”

I watch as she seems to take in my words. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t, but I also don’t want you moving out of fear or making changes you’re not comfortable with right now. I just want to be with you. However that may be. I’ll wait until you know what you want, and then we can move forward together.”

“You’ll wait for me?”

“As long as it takes. You and I, we’re what Romeo and Juliet only wished they could be.”

“Alive?”

“Wow. Spoiler alert,” I tease. “But yes. We have what they were willing to sacrifice everything for.” I lean down and kiss the Crow that lies directly over her heart. “Remember that book you told me about under the oak tree?”

She smiles, not just brightening the dark room a little more, but lighting up my life. “Yes. Until I Met You.”

“I read it.”

“You did? Why?”

“Because you loved it, and I wanted to see what moved you when you spoke of the story.” Through whispers and kisses across her soft skin, I recite the lines I memorized for her. “Despite all the water that had passed under their decaying bridge, they stood there, their hearts still beating only for the other. My heart only beats for you, Stella Lilith.”

Her lips find mine, and we kiss between more lines from the book that struck my heart and made me think of Stella when I read them. My hand covers her lower back, bringing her closer, and I whisper, “You’re beautiful like the stars. You’re beautiful like the ocean. You’re beautiful like the love I feel for you.”

But I stop before we fall deeper into feeling and wrap my hand around the back of her neck, caressing her so she looks up at me. “What is it?” she asks with wide doe eyes. “Where do you see us beyond today or next week?”

Her body molds against mine, and she rests her head on my shoulder. “Right here in your arms. Always.”

* * *

Before my eyes open, my arms fly wide to the sides only to find the mattress empty beside me. I sit up. “Stella?”

“In here,” she calls from the living room. Walking into the bedroom of the suite, she leans against the opening of the door, looking every bit the angel, and smiles. “Good afternoon, sleepyhead.” She runs and pounces on the bed before climbing over and looking down on me. “You, sir, have slept a solid six hours. You must have been tired.”

Her ponytail swings over to the side and tickles my nose. “We’ve had twelve fourteen-hour days rehearsing to get the songs down. And traveling always wears me down.” Taking her by the hips, I roll her to the side until I’m on top. “You’re happy today.”

“We got news.”

“Really?” I move to the side, the thought of Brian and this Baird guy ruining my good mood. Sitting up, I plant my feet on the floor and scrub my hands over my face, trying to wake all the way up.

“Suthers called to tell me they’re closing in on Brown.”

“Brown?”

“One of Baird’s guys, the one who drove me . . .” Her good mood seems to fade as she turns her gaze to the ceiling and then closes her eyes altogether. I want to take every bad memory she has and destroy it, but I know I can’t do that. God, what she has survived . . .

“Hey, baby, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I need to know what happened.”

“You know what happened. Do the details matter?”

“No, not all of them, but some do.”

Moving higher on the bed, she looks at me, and says, “Okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, but it’s got to be better than living with this alone.” When she filed the report with the police last night, she told them the story, but I know she left out the gory details. She’s supposed to go back to discuss with a female officer today, so maybe this will help her clear the way to talk about it later.

I lie on my side, resting my head on her lap, and take over staring at the ceiling so she doesn’t feel like she’s in a spotlight or under interrogation.

Delving inward, the window to her soul closes, her eyes losing the smile she had moments earlier, as she shares her story. “Car seats . . . Toyota Camry . . . Shower and hair clip . . . Brown. Yellow. Boss . . . I was standing there while they stared at me. Slapped for smarting back and then . . . X marks the spot . . . When it was over, my hair was yanked until I was standing, my head tilted back farther than I thought it should go. He,” she stammers, then swallows hard. “He said if I told anyone that he would cut the crow from my chest before killing me.”

I thought I was prepared.

I wasn’t.

I want to throw up. I want to kill. I want to obliterate anything that monster has ever touched.

Stella takes my hand and tries to unfurl my fisted fingers. “I love you, Rivers.” Under her soft confession, my eyes find hers, and she says, “I remember thinking I could handle death because it had to be easier than living without you.” Holding her hand over the top of the shirt where her tattoo is on her skin, she adds, “You were always with me. You have always been the inner strength I couldn’t see but felt. I felt you at that moment, that moment when I realized I never listened. I assumed the worst of the best person I knew.”

“You were so angry when I showed up. You said you were caught off guard, but something between then and now changed.”

“When I was dropped off at my car, all my will to survive drained away. I realized it wouldn’t matter if he killed me or not. Either way, I lost you.” Her fingers run through my hair, soothing my head. “All it took was you showing back up to make me realize I was never going to be whole without you. So you see? You’re not just my next step, Rivers. You’re the only step worth taking.”