Chapter 8
Zant
You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side
You know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
{‘Keep Holding On’ -Avril Lavigne}
Where is he? He isn’t in his room. He isn’t in the living room, drooling all over himself, on the couch. His glass is on the counter with ice but no liquor in it. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that something isn’t right.
Is he hiding around the corner waiting to hit me again?
I look in all the corners without turning on the lights. I’m not going to let him see me if he is in the house.
I need to get back to Micah’s house.
Where ever he is, he can stay there. Maybe he’ll die.
Once a few years ago, I found him passed out in his own vomit near the back door.
I got home from school and heard nothing. The house was silent and very unnerving. Usually, he is on the couch, passed out, with the TV on high volume. This day, he was not doing that and I knew something was wrong. I went through the house and couldn’t find him. I was quiet and crept around like I wasn’t supposed to be in my own house.
Every day of my life is like that.
He yells at me and tells me I’m worthless more times in a day than most kids hear ‘I love you’ from their parents.
I looked in our bedrooms, the bathrooms, under the beds, in the closets, everywhere. He was nowhere to be found.
I finally wondered if he was out back doing something. It is the only place that I hadn’t checked.
When I got to the back door, he was on the floor. He was unconscious and vomit was everywhere. There was no way I could get him up and I had no idea if he was even alive.
I did the only thing I could do.
Roy has always told me not to call the police because they would take me away. No matter how much I hated him, I never wanted to leave my home or Micah.
I ran across my yard, yelling for Mr. Davis.
“Mr. Davis! Mr. Davis! Help!” I was running and looking everywhere outside. I didn’t find him until I barreled into his house through the back door. I didn’t even knock this time. The adrenaline masked all my common sense and manners. Sorry mama.
“What is it, son?” Mr. Davis caught me as I came into his kitchen. He grabbed me by the shoulders to slow me down.
“What’s got you running like a mad man?” He’s talking to me in a soothing voice to calm me down.
My breathing is heavy and I’m winded.
“Roy. It’s Roy. He’s passed out and throw up is everywhere. He may be dead.” I rush all the words out in one breath because that is all I had.
“Come on boy. Let’s go see.” Davis says as he leads me right back out the back door and across our yards. I take him through the front door since Roy is in front of the back.
Mr. Davis kneels next to Roy, making sure not to get himself in the throw up. He reaches out with his fingers and touches his neck to check his pulse. After a very long few seconds, he looks at me and gives me a nod, letting me know that my father is still alive. Mr. Davis then puts his legs on each side of Roy and grabs him under the arms. He lifts him and props him up against the wall by the back door.
I grab some paper towels and start to clean up the puke. It smells just like straight whiskey. He must have been hitting the bottle hard this time.
At that moment, I’m really glad he is passed out. My jaw hasn’t healed completely from the last time he drank so heavy he lost his mind and used me as a punching bag.
I’m also glad he isn’t dead. And that angers me.
Why am I glad that loser is still breathing the same air as me? The more I think about it, the angrier I become and I start slinging the paper towels in my hand across the floor. I can’t even see what I’m doing. All I see is red.
How did I get stuck with this idiot? Why did God put me here with this monster?
“Zant! Boy! Stop!” Mr. Davis is holding me by the shoulders and shaking me. I blink and everything around me suddenly comes into focus.
“Zant. Look at me. Look at me, boy.”
Mr. Davis still holds my shoulders but isn’t shaking me anymore. I look in his eyes and I see the understanding cross his face.
“Boy, God knows what He is doing. You must trust Him. You have to trust yourself. Everything has a purpose. You’ll see.”
That is what I remember from that day the most.
Those are the words that helped my resolve. Those words help me daily to deal with what my life is and it gives me hope for what it may be someday.
He’s nowhere in the house tonight. I let out a sigh of relief and grab my shoes that I need for church tomorrow.
I let myself out the front door and head to Micah’s house. As I step out of my yard and into hers, a chill runs up my spine.
Her bedroom window faces my house. She must be asleep, it is late and I put her to bed.
I continue into her yard toward the front of the house and then I hear it.
It was a scream and it sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Every hair on my body stands up.
I shake my head and try to focus. Surely, I didn’t hear what I thought I heard. This is a quiet neighborhood for the most part. Aside from the times that Roy is yelling at me. Nothing ever happens in this neighborhood. We are two blocks from a church for crying out loud.
While stuff does happen in our little town, it never happens in our neighborhood.
But I know I heard a woman’s scream.
Then I hear a man yelling. It’s coming from between my house and Micah’s. I hurry toward her window. Something is pulling me to it. As I get closer, I hear a commotion in her room. Her curtains are sticking out of her window and when I look inside, I see Mr. Davis on top of someone on the floor. It’s dark inside at first. Then I see Mrs. Lucy enter the room and she flips the lights on.
When I look back at the floor, my breath catches in my throat and I can’t move.
What is Roy doing in Micah’s room?
Why is Mr. Davis pounding his face in with his fist?
What in the hell is going on here?
“Mr. Davis?” I speak the only words that will come out of my mouth. My brain is shut down. This looks like a nightmare and I can’t wake up. I don’t even know what is going on but, I know it isn’t anything good.
I look down at Roy and I feel the blood leave my face, “Roy?”
His face is covered in blood and his eyes look black already.
Mr. Davis picks him up and shoves him towards me, towards the window.
“Outside you stupid asshole. Get out of my house.” Mr. Davis keeps shoving him like he can just push him through the window without bending him or something.
Through all the craziness, I look towards the bed. I feel her eyes on me. When I look at her, my heart shatters.
My girl is completely white. Her rosiness is gone. Her eyes look hollow. It’s almost like her soul has left. My body begins to shake.
I grab hold of Roy and pull him through the window. He lands on the ground. Mr. Davis comes through the window and turns back to talk to the girls inside.
He grabs Roy’s other arm and we drag him towards the back yards.
Roy starts to mumble. I want an explanation. I want to know why my father was in Micah’s room. Why did Micah look like that? What happened?
“She wanted me. She’s always wanted me. I’ve been watching her since she was five years old. She …”
The more Roy mumbles and the more words he says, the more I understand and right then, my world goes black.