Chapter 17
Micah
All the years I’ve tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I’m waiting
{‘Fall to Pieces’ -Velvet Revolver}
3 years later…
“Mama, guess who wants to marry me?”
I wake up from the dream that I seem to have all the time. It is the only thing I dream, every time. It isn’t every night but I have this same dream two or three times a month. It’s always the same thing. It never changes and it never goes any farther.
I sit up in my bed and rub my eyes. It’s Saturday. I’ve got to get up and work on a job application that I need to finish. Macy and Kelly are coming over later this afternoon to pick me up. We are going out to celebrate Macy’s birthday. A nice supper and hitting a club for some dancing afterwards is in order. You only turn 21 once. She is the youngest of our trio and we are going to have a blast. All three of us can finally drink legally.
I get out of bed and grab some pajama pants off the floor. I smell coffee in the kitchen. My coffee maker has already served me this morning. Whoever invented automatic coffee pots, I need to kiss them. They make my mornings so much better and I don’t even care who they are.
I fill my favorite coffee cup with fresh brew, sugar, and some cream. I need my sugar and cream. Straight black isn’t my style. I sit down with my phone to check my messages and emails. I have a text from Kelly asking if we are still on for tonight. I have another text from my mom to tell Macy happy birthday. I text them both back with quick responses.
I don’t have a text from him. Even though my heart shouldn’t sink at that, it does. He said he wouldn’t stay in contact and for three years, he stayed true to his word. It hurts.
I put my phone down and grab my laptop to start working on my application. The sooner I finish it, the more time I will have time to myself.
I know it’s close to lunch time but I am on a roll. I grab some crackers from the cabinet to nibble on. I know I will eat better for supper. I just need a little something to tied me over until then.
I’m done with my application and it is almost time to get ready to go out. I stand up from my chair in my living room and stretch. I look around my place. I love my home. I have finally made it a home. A small apartment with two bedrooms and two bathrooms right in the middle of our little town. My bedroom is my favorite place. It is set up in teal blue and coral colors. These are my happy colors. They make me feel safe and comfortable.
In my life, I need safe and happy things. All my life, I have been an upbeat person. I try to find the positive in everything. Even when it seems impossible, I try. That is the way I cope with things. If I know anything it is that life is full of horrible things and terrible people.
My living room is cozy as well. I have an old comfortable couch that sleeps like a dream. I have slept on it several times because I fall asleep watching movies and refuse to get up and go to bed.
I go to the kitchen to look for something quick to eat while I get ready. I grab an apple out of the basket on the counter and a bottle of water. I go down the hall with a little pep to my step. I am looking forward to meeting up with the girls and having a night out on the town. It is long overdue.
I step into the shower and let the warm water run over my body. My mind goes blank and I start thinking about him. I keep waiting for a text that is never going to come. I miss him and I just wish that he would let me in. He shut me out a long time ago and it breaks my heart. I only wish I knew what I did to make him leave me. Why wouldn’t he stay so that I could help him?
I finish up in the shower and get out to dry off. I walk into my room and look in my closet. I don’t have a huge assortment of clothes but I have a few nice things. I pull out a pair of dark denim straight leg jeans and my booties. Now I just need to find a top.
I’m a t-shirt girl but tonight calls for a little dressing up. I have a very cute pink and white v neck top that is comfy. I throw on a white cami and start doing my hair and makeup. I blow dry and start curling my long brown hair. I love my hair and I refuse to cut it. I cut it really short a couple years ago, while I was trying to find a new look. I vowed to myself then that I would never make that mistake again. I love my long hair and it makes me look much cuter.
I know I’m not completely ugly but I’m not model material either. I have dark hair and blue eyes that sparkle when I’m my happiest. Macy tells me that my eyes tell her when I am in my happy place. He used to say that too.
I apply my makeup. Not too much but enough to pull out the color of my eyes and make my skin have a flawless glow.
I step back and admire my work. I’ve done a good job. Tonight, is the night of relaxation and fun. Like I said, it’s been a long time coming.
I slip on my booties and look at myself in the full-length mirror.
It’s show time.
I grab my cell, keys, and purse before heading out. I lock the door and pull it closed. We are all meeting at Macy’s house. She needs me to check her outfit to make sure it will be cute enough. Or whatever. She acts like I’m the go to person on fashion. I’m not. That is Macy herself. She always wears the cutest clothes that she finds on sale or at consignment shops. I can never find deals on cute things like she does.
I pull up to her house five minutes later and find that I am here before Kelly. That’s not a shock. Kelly will be late to her own funeral.
I put the car in park and climb out. It’s cool but not cold. It is a nice afternoon and the sun is just starting to set. I love our little historic town in south Mississippi. We have a lot of historic homes and landmarks. We are close to the Mississippi river and seeing the sun rise while looking at the river is a site that will live with you for the rest of your life.
I walk into Macy’s house. She never locks her door. It drives me crazy. She still thinks that nothing bad can happen to her. I envy that. Even after knowing that my personal monster is dead, I’m still afraid of the evil that is out there in others.
She is in her bathroom getting ready. I can hear her singing along with some country song that she has playing on her phone.
“Hey” I yell as I walk toward the back of the house. She lives in an old one story house that has to be close to 60 years old. She loves the finer things in life but she loves her old house. It’s cute. It fits her.
“Hi” she yells back as I get closer. I lean against the door jam and watch her. She is applying her makeup while she is swaying to the music. I smile at her.
“You ready to go?” she asks me.
“Yes. How close are you to being ready? I’m starving. I haven’t eaten much all day.”
“I’ve still got to get dressed and I have no idea what I’m going to wear. Do you want to go pick me something out?”
“Sure” I tell her as I head into her bedroom. She has clothes laying everywhere. Apparently, she tried to find something to wear and just couldn’t decide.
“Mace, you have enough clothes in here to clothe the entire town. What are you aiming for tonight?” I know to ask her this so I can think of a place to start.
“I think I want to wear a sweater dress with my black boots. What do you think?” I can hear her over the music digging through drawers in her bathroom.
“That will be cute. You are the birthday girl so it really doesn’t matter. Your tiara that you are going to be wearing with be your focal point tonight anyway.”
I hear her laugh a little because she knows I’m right. I’m looking at a sweater dress that she has laying out on her bed. It is cute. It is a maroon color with a wide neck on it. She can wear things like that because she has cleavage that will help her out. I am not blessed in that department.
“This maroon dress is cute” I tell her.
“Yeah, I like that one too.” She tells me as she enters her room. She’s wearing a tank top with pajama pants. I look at her and tell her with my eyes that this is my pick. She picks it up to hold it to herself and looks into the mirror on the back of her closet door.
There is a light knock on the door and we hear it open.
“Hey. Where are you girls? Are y’all ready? Macy, you better be dressed. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all day because I knew we were eating good tonight.”
Kelly is still talking as she makes her way to the back of the house. Macy and I just look at each other and roll our eyes. Kelly is the big eater in our bunch. She says that she hasn’t eaten all day but we all know she is lying. She has probably nibbled on food all day. That girl can eat a full cow and not gain a pound. I am in that same boat with her but I don’t eat like she does.
“Macy is still deciding.” I say as Kelly enters the room.
“Macy, put something on and let’s go.” Kelly growls at the door. “I’m starving and I am ready to eat and get my dance on.”
I giggle because I know that this night is what we all need.