CHAPTER FIVE
Cara
DEEP DOWN I knew it was Sinner in the room with me and that he wouldn’t hurt me, but all I could see was that belt and how he was going to take it off, or at least I thought he was going to. He was talking to me, but all I could hear was the belt hitting my skin. I hadn’t thought about it in a few months now, so this was really inconvenient timing. I covered my ears in an attempt to block out the whoosh of the belt, but it didn’t help. I squeezed my eyes shut, but then I saw him walking toward me. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t escape him six years later.
Sinner walked out of the room and it eased the pressure in my chest some. The belt was gone and I could breathe easier, but then I started crying because I had freaked out my first time trying to have sex. Of course he would leave. Wouldn’t any sane man? Dropping my head toward my knees, I wondered if there would ever be any time in my life that I would feel normal.
“Cara.” I heard Sinner whisper and felt his hand cup the side of my head. He hadn’t left. I looked up to see Sinner squatting in front of me completely naked.
“Was it the belt?”
I nodded shakily.
“It’s gone. I left it in the other room. Come on.”
He held out his hand to me and after a second of indecision, I decided to trust him and grabbed on to his hand. As I stood, I noticed that he wasn’t hard. I was a turn off.
“I’m sorry about that. I understand that you don’t want to do this, so don’t feel bad about leaving.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You think I don’t want you?”
“Well,” I waved down at his flaccid penis.
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I think I’d be a bit of an asshole if I was turned on by your fear. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you, I just don’t get off on causing you pain.”
“So, you still want me? Even after I flipped out on you?”
“Well, I am naked, but if you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. I just figured that me being naked was the fastest way to make you comfortable.”
“How do you figure?” It’s not that he was making me uncomfortable, but usually a man being naked in front of a scared woman was not comforting.
“Well, you said that he never touched you, so I figured that it wasn’t sex that had you scared but the belt. Being naked is one of the most vulnerable positions to be in. You can see that I don’t have any weapons or anything else to hurt you.”
That was a very backwards way of thinking, but it made sense. A small smile touched my lips at his kindness.
“That’s a very convoluted thought, but I like it.”
He pulled me into him and rubbed my back soothingly. “I would never hurt you, Cara. You can trust me.”
“I know that. I just need my brain to catch up with the rest of me.”
“Do you want to stop for the night?”
I shook my head no.
“Okay, if you want to try again, you have to tell me what you need.”
“I don’t want to be under you. I don’t like feeling trapped.”
“I got that much.”
“I have something that might make me feel better, but I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”
“Lay it on me.”
I walked over to my nightstand where I had my cuffs. I pulled them out and dangled them in front of Sinner, who had a grin on his face.
“Please tell me I’m the only lucky bastard that gets to use those.”
“It’s not what you think. When I started living here alone, Sean gave them to me in case there was an intruder. If I was able to incapacitate the intruder, he said I would need them until the cops came.”
“Ah, so they were not for sexual exploits.”
I shook my head as I bit my lower lip. He actually looked a little sad, but then clapped his hands together. “Well, I guess I get to be the lucky guy that you get to use them on.”
“So, how do we..I mean, it’s been a while for me. I might need some guidance.”
“Relax. It’s like riding a bike.”
He laid down on the bed and raised his hands above his head. He tightened the cuff around one wrist, threaded it through the slit in the headboard, and then slowly tightened it around the other wrist. It made my sex throb to hear each click of the cuffs.
“Why don’t you start by getting undressed. I’m starting to feel a little lonely over here.”
I took a deep breath and slowly pulled my top over my head. It was dark enough in the room that I didn’t think he would see my scars. They were faint, so I didn’t worry about that for now. My biggest fear at the moment was that I wouldn’t make this enjoyable for him and he wouldn’t want to sleep with me again.
As I removed my pants and stood in my panties and bra, I saw his cock stiffen. I swallowed hard and undid my bra, slowly letting it fall down my arms and drop to the floor. Sinner jerked up, forgetting that he was cuffed to the headboard. He took a deep breath and blew it out, but I was focused on his cock that was now standing straight up. I pulled down my panties and tried to step out of them, but got tripped up as my foot caught in the leg hole. My arms flailed as I tried to catch myself, but I ended up falling flat on my face. Oh, God. This was so humiliating. I wasn’t even trying to be sexy.
“You okay down there, Lollipop?” he chuckled.
I stood, completely humiliated and glared at him. “Lollipop?”
“Yeah, after I got a taste of you last night, I decided that it was a good nickname for you.”
“And why is that?”
“Because your pussy is so sweet, I could lick you all day,” he grinned.
I covered my face, completely mortified now. “I did not want to hear that.”
“What? You don’t want to hear how sweet your pussy tasted? Or how I’ve been hard since last night, just waiting until I could get inside that tight snatch?”
“Please stop-”
“Or how much I want you to ride my face so your pussy juices will be running down my throat as I fuck you with my tongue?”
“You are so crass.”
“Do you want to hear how I want your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, sucking every last drop of my cum?”
I covered my face in embarrassment. I had never heard anyone talk like this. He was so..sinful. And now I got it.
“Why don’t you come climb on top of me so I can suck that sweet pussy?”
My legs started moving without me thinking. I wanted it. I wanted to ride his face and feel his tongue on my clit. He had practically made me pass out last night from how hard I came.
“Spread your legs wide and put your cunt on my face,” he growled as I straddled him. The moment I was over his face, his tongue flicked out and lashed at my clit. I bucked from the sensation, which spurred him on. Soon, I was rubbing my pussy against his mouth, aching to take everything he could give me. It didn’t take long for my orgasm to hit and when it did, he sucked my nub into his mouth and latched on. It intensified my orgasm so much that my legs gave out and darkness threatened.
Momentarily stunned, I was brought back to the present by the feel of his tongue licking my pussy.
“Like I said, you’re like a lollipop.”
I looked at his face to see my juices glistening around his mouth. He had just given me the best orgasm of my life and now I wanted to reciprocate. I moved down his body until I was faced with the monster that he kept hidden in his pants. Licking my lips, I slowly took him into my mouth and tasted the salty pre-cum that coated the head of his cock. I didn’t really remember much about giving head and I was uncertain about whether or not I was doing this right.
“Can you tell me what you like?”
“Just do what comes naturally.”
“Uh, nothing comes naturally when it comes to this.”
He shifted a little causing his cock to jump. “I like to be licked and teased, but I also like to be sucked hard. I don’t care if it’s perfect. I just want those lips wrapped around me before I come just from watching your tits bounce around my dick.”
I looked down and realized that my tits were hanging awfully close to his erection. He was staring at them, his eyes smoldering in the darkness.
“I want to fuck your tits, too. Fuck, there are so many things I want to do to you.”
He groaned like he was in pain and judging by his erection, he probably was. Without another thought, I wrapped my mouth around his cock and took him as deep as I could. I sucked in my cheeks and slid up and down his cock. I couldn’t take him very far in because I had a terrible gag reflex. Every few sucks, he jerked inside me and groaned, which I took to be a good sign. Without much practice, my mouth was sore and I couldn’t take much more. I swirled my tongue around the head one more time before taking one final suck.
“Climb on top of me, Lollipop.”
I did as he asked and hovered over his cock. This was it. After six years of not having a man inside me, I was finally going to break that streak. I grabbed onto the base of his cock and slowly sunk down on him. It was slightly painful since it had been so long, but I adjusted quickly. When he was fully seated inside me, I closed my eyes and relished how full I was. Finally!
I started moving up and down, slowly at first, but then faster as I started getting in a rhythm. I wanted him to touch my clit, but that wasn’t possible. It was better this way anyway. Less chance of me freaking out if I was in total control.
“Touch yourself, Lollipop. Touch your pretty pussy.”
I slid my hand down my body to my clit and pressed slightly against the nub as I kept my eyes on his. His eyes flicked down to where I was riding him, up and down as I pushed myself higher and higher.
“God, I want to touch you right now. Fuck, you’re so sexy. That’s right. Rub your clit. Make yourself come all over my cock.”
His dirty talk sent me over the edge, clamping down around him to the point that he groaned in pain. I had stopped moving when my orgasm raced through me, unable to perform the simple task of moving anymore. He thrust his hips up into me and I watched as his abs rippled with every contraction. He pumped hard into me and with one last thrust, spilled his cum inside my pussy with a shout.
“Damn, Lollipop. You’re fucking fantastic.”
Completely worn out, I collapsed on top of him until my heart slowed.
“I hate to make you move, but I’m going to risk losing the circulation in my hands if you don’t uncuff me soon.”
I laughed and sat up, digging through the drawer. “Um, one problem. I don’t know where the key is.”
I looked at him and bit my lip. The shocked look on his face was replaced a moment later by a huge laugh.
“Lollipop, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? Do you have a pin of some kind?”
I jumped off my bed and ran to the bathroom, looking for a hair pin. When I brought it out to him, I watched in fascination as moments later the cuffs came undone and he quickly sat up, rubbing his wrists.
He had tattoos on his shoulders and on his back that I couldn’t really make out in the dim light. I turned on the lamp to get a better look and noticed that he had a special forces tattoo on his right bicep. I ran my fingers over the beautiful tattoo and then trailed my fingers across his shoulder blades to the one on his back. It took up the entire width of his back, trailing down to the middle of his back. There was a bald eagle with its wings spread from one shoulder to the other and above in an old fashioned script read We The People of the United States. Underneath the Eagle in the same script was America.
There was one final tattoo on his left bicep of a flag waving in the wind with a cross in the center. There was a banner draped around the cross with ‘Sinner’ written on it. Hanging from the cross were dog tags with names and dates.
“Are these men you served with?”
He grunted what I thought was a yes. “Died in combat,” he said quietly.
“They’re beautiful tattoos.”
“I know a good artist.”
I was a little surprised when he stood suddenly and started getting dressed right away. I guess there would be no snuggling or talking. Feeling a little vulnerable, I pulled on a t-shirt and watched him put on his socks and shoes. It was silly to be feeling weird. We had agreed to just sex. There was no way that I was ready for a relationship and this was what fuck buddies did. There was no cuddling or talking, so why was I thinking there would be?
“I’m going to be out of town for at least a few days, but I’ll let you know when I’m back. Then we can go out to a restaurant so you can throw up some more,” he grinned.
One thing I absolutely loved about Sinner was how he made my issues into a joke. He didn’t treat it like it was a non issue, but rather that joking about it was better than crying. I knew I had some serious issues, but it was nice to have the levity.
He gave me a quick kiss and then walked to the door. “See you around, Lollipop.”
Then he was gone. My little house hadn’t felt so lonely for a few hours. Tomorrow I would go back to work and try not to think about the sinful man that was just in my bedroom.
✯✯✯✯✯
“So, Cara, tell me how this week went for you.”
“It was good. I mean, it was bad and it was good. I went out again and tried going to a bar. I thought maybe the alcohol would help numb my thoughts.”
“And did it?” Dr. Penwarden had a shrewd look on his face, like he already knew the answer.
“No, it just made me nauseous. I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. There were some women in the bathroom that started making comments about how some people just couldn’t hold their alcohol. They thought I was a drunk.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
“Like shit. Those people were judging me without knowing me. They have no idea what it’s like for me to even attempt to go out in public. They don’t know how panicked I get at just thinking about having to go into town. I get that it’s disgusting to listen to someone throw up in the bathroom, but what was I supposed to do?”
“Cara, there’s something that you need to understand if you’re going to get past this. People always make judgments about others. It’s human nature. You can’t change the way someone thinks and you can’t expect them to know what it’s like for you. Just as you were judging those women in the restroom.”
“They were judging me!”
“They were, but you in turn decided that they knew nothing of what you were going through and therefore were being judgmental. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe they had dealt with one too many alcoholics? Perhaps something happened to them because of someone that couldn’t hold their alcohol. Now, I’m not saying that’s what happened. I’m just pointing out that we all make snap judgements.”
“So, you’re saying I shouldn’t care?”
“One of the struggles with an anxiety disorder is that you care too much about what others think. Until you can learn to control it, to let go of the fear of being judged, anxiety will continue to plague you.”
“How do I learn to control it? It’s not like there’s an off switch.”
“It’s different for everyone. We just have to learn what works best for you. Did you talk to that young man about helping you out?”
“Yes, he agreed to that and..” I blushed as I thought about what we did. “Other stuff.”
“Other stuff?”
“He agreed to a casual sexual relationship.”
“And how did that go?”
“You mean was he good?”
Dr. Penwarden chuckled. “No, I mean did you get scared? Were there any issues with anxiety?”
“I didn’t like being on bottom. It made me feel trapped.”
“I see, and I’m assuming that’s from when you were held?”
I nodded.
“Cara, I realize it’s difficult to talk about, but if you let it out, it helps to take away the fear that has a hold on you. Have you talked to anyone else about it?”
“I talked to Sinner a little. He wanted to know if I had been raped.”
“Because he didn’t want to scare you.”
“Yes, he figured out that I had been beaten with a belt. I panicked when he started undoing his belt buckle. For a minute, I was back in that basement and..” I swallowed and blinked the tears back as I thought about what it felt like to be in that basement.
“Look at that creamy skin. I’m going to enjoy marking you.”
I looked down at the lines of spikes that were sticking up beneath me. I was naked with my arms and legs stretched out and tied to poles. I was suspended just a foot above the spikes and if the ropes gave, I would be impaled by over a hundred metal points.
Despite the chill of the basement, I was sweating from the exertion of trying to hold myself higher away from the spikes. My arms and legs shook from the tension and I had a throbbing headache that was making it difficult to concentrate.
I heard a tinkling metal sound that had me jerking my head toward my captor. He was undoing his belt buckle and smiling sadistically at me.
“Please, just let me go. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Ah, I love it when you beg. Tell me, if I lowered you onto those spikes and you felt them slowly seeping into your skin, impaling your belly, would you still beg for me to let you go? Or would you beg for death?”
I whimpered in fear. This man liked what he was doing and there would be no talking him out of torturing me. I thought I had been here for at least ten days. Ten days of waiting for him to come. Ten days of being tortured. Ten days of just enough food and water to keep me alive. Before today, I had been beaten or burned with cigarettes. I had been cut with small slices, just enough to make me fear for my life. Today was different. Today, I was very likely to fall and die an agonizing death. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted this to be painful. He would make me suffer more than any day before this.
With the first crack of his belt against my skin, my belly dipped lower. I didn’t have the energy to hold myself up. With each bite of the belt, my body sagged lower and lower. If I was right, the ropes were slowly giving, lowering me toward the spikes.
“You know, when I took you I had every intention of keeping you for a long time as my play thing.” He laughed maniacally. “When I found out that your brother is a cop, I decided that I didn’t want to keep you around as long. A cop would be too much trouble and has too many resources. Sorry, doll, but you’re not worth the trouble.”
Relief poured through me knowing that this would soon be over. I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. I started crying because I never got to say goodbye to my family and friends. I never lived a life other than to do what any young person was expected to do. I went to college and studied hard. I got a job and moved into my own apartment. By all standards, I was a good person that followed the rules and did what was expected. This wasn’t supposed to be happening to me. I was supposed to live a full life and now I was going to die like a pig going to slaughter. Except a pig got a quick death.
My vision blurred as the spikes came closer and closer to my body. I still felt the crack of the belt, but I was numb now. My mind had taken me somewhere that I could no longer feel the pain or think about what was still waiting.
When I woke up, it was to sharp pain in my abdomen. Looking down, I could see that my body had sagged to the point that my belly was now being impaled with the sharp points. I continued to feel the sharp pricks in new areas of my body. Why couldn’t I just fall all at once and have this be over?
I looked around the basement, but I couldn’t see anyone. Had he left me? I couldn’t imagine that he would want to miss me slowly dying, so where was he? The sound of an engine outside had me holding my breath. I waited for the footsteps to come on the stairs.
“Cara. Cara.”
I slowly opened my eyes to see Dr. Penwarden kneeling beside me. I was still in the armchair chair in his office, but now I was slumped over.
“Cara, how are you feeling? Would you like me to call an ambulance?”
Just the thought of an ambulance had me shaking. I would never step foot in a hospital ever again if I could help it. I had done it for my brother when he got himself beat up a year ago, but I only entered because of the fear that he was dead.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You slipped into some memories and I couldn’t reach you.”
Dr. Penwarden handed me a bottle of water that I took with shaky hands. After drinking a few sips, I felt a little better.
“Do you want to talk about what you remembered?”
“No, I don’t ever want to talk about it.”
“Cara, at some point you have to acknowledge what happened or the panic attacks will never go away.”
“Not today, doc.”
I stood up, grabbing my purse and headed for the door.
“I’ll see you next week, Cara. Call me if you need to come in sooner.”
I stormed out of his office and went quickly to my car, barely paying attention to my surroundings. All I could think about was getting home, away from all the people and the memories that were plaguing me.
I hadn’t thought about that particular day in over a year. I had successfully blocked it from my mind so that I didn’t have to relive the fear and pain, but Sinner’s damn buckle brought it all back. Damn him.
I didn’t remember the drive home and I’m not sure how I managed to make it home in one piece. Had I stopped at any traffic lights or stop signs? I couldn’t remember, but frankly I didn’t care. I got inside and quickly typed in the code for the alarm. After checking all the doors and windows, I grabbed a knife and hid in my closet. I was scared to be out in the open where he could find me, but being in the closet was suffocating.
He’s going to find me. Any second now, he’ll walk through that door and come to finish the job he started. I’ll be taken all over again and this time, he’ll draw out the torture.
No, he’s gone. He can’t hurt me anymore. He’s dead, right? Isn’t he?
I held the knife tight as I sat with my knees drawn up to my chest. I hit myself in the head with the handle of the knife to rid my mind of the thoughts running wild.
He’s not here anymore. He’s not here. No one will come get you because there’s no one left.
But I can still feel him sometimes at night. I can feel him watching me. He’s waiting until I let my guard down and then he’ll take me back to that hell.
My head drooped several times, but I always jerked back up thinking that he was waiting outside the door for me. Light appeared under the door at some point and I thought maybe I could make it over to the safety of Drew and Sarah’s house.
They’ll let me stay there. I’ll be safe there, but then he’ll find me there and kill them too. I can’t put them all in danger, especially the babies. They don’t deserve that kind of fear or to grow up without parents. No, I need to just stay here.
I didn’t know how long I stayed where I was, but I was vaguely aware that my body was going numb, probably from being curled up for so long. When I started to droop again, I put my hand down on the floor to steady myself and felt something wet cover my hand. Lifting my hand to my face, I smelled urine. I had peed myself at some point and didn’t even realize it. Tears filled my eyes as I imagined myself sitting in a puddle of urine. It was disgusting, but still I couldn’t force myself to move. I was too scared.
✯✯✯✯✯
What’s that noise? Pounding. Oh my God. He’s here. He’s finally come. I should have run hours ago. I could have been long gone, but now I’m going to be taken again.
My heart thundered in my chest as I heard heavy footfalls on the floor. This was it. Nausea took over and it took everything I had to keep myself from vomiting all over the floor.
“She’s not here. I’ve looked everywhere. Sarah hasn’t heard from her for two days. We thought she was just sick yesterday, but it’s been too long.”
The loud noise in my ears dimmed. That was Drew’s voice. Drew, not my attacker. I needed to get up, but I couldn’t. I was still frozen in place. My hand hurt from gripping the handle of the knife for so long. I wasn’t sure if I could get up even if I tried. Every part of my body hurt so badly, but still I kept still.
“Why would I check the closets? Her car is here. She didn’t go anywhere..Oh, shit. Hold on.”
The door to the closet flew open and the bright light blinded me. I squinted, but couldn’t bring my hand up to cover my eyes. As my eyes adjusted, I could see the puddle of urine had spread under the door.
“She’s here, Sean. How soon until you’re here? Okay, see you in a few minutes.”
The phone went dark, but still I stayed where I was.
“Cara, are you okay?”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even shake my head. I was most definitely not okay. Nothing would ever make me okay.
“Sean’s going to be here any minute now, okay? Can you hand me the knife?”
I gripped it tighter as my breathing accelerated. Deep down I knew that Drew would never hurt me, but the fear inside me refused to let go of the knife. Sean appeared in front of me a few minutes later. He looked worried and I knew that he was panicking. I hadn’t flipped out like this since that first year. I still had panic attacks and blacked out from time to time, but nothing like this.
“Cara, how are you, sweetie?”
I blinked a few times at my brother, finally letting go of some of the fear. As the tears started to fall, my brother leaned forward and took the knife from my hand and gave it to Drew. He pulled me toward him and I willing wrapped myself around him. He held me and let me cry, rubbing my back and telling me that everything was going to be fine.
I was exhausted by the time my tears dried up, but I could smell the urine around me and knew I had to clean up.
“How about we get you into the shower? I’m sure you’ll feel better after you get cleaned up.”
I nodded and let him carry me into the bathroom. My legs were stiff and I didn’t think I could stand in the shower.
“Bath,” I whispered. He nodded and started running the water and poured in some soap. He handed me a towel and I held it in front of me as he helped me out of my clothes. He had done this before and I’m sure he didn’t want to see his little sister naked, but there were many times that I couldn’t take care of myself and he needed to step in. I tried to help him as much as I could, but my limbs were so stiff.
“How long was I in there?”
“I don’t know. What day did this happen?”
I thought about what day my appointment was on. “Wednesday.”
“It’s Friday, about noon,” he sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t come check on you sooner. I let you down.”
“No, you didn’t. It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“I’m your brother. It will always be my job to look after you. Come on, let’s get you in the tub.”
When I was done soaking, I shakily got out of the tub and grabbed the towel to dry myself off. Sean had left my robe on the back of the door, so I quickly put it on and went to my bed. The short walk wore me out and I was shaking by the time I closed my eyes.
“Not so fast. You need to eat before you go to sleep,” Sean said as he walked in with a tray of food. It was just a sandwich and some chips, but I didn’t think I could handle anything heavier.
“Here, drink plenty of water. You’re dehydrated.”
I took the bottle he handed me and quickly guzzled the bottle. He pulled out another and set it on the tray. I glanced toward the closet and saw that the floor had been cleaned up. I could feel my face heat, knowing that my brother had to clean up my piss.
“It’s fine, Cara. We all need help sometimes.”
I laughed sardonically. “Not as much as I do.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. We all have our own demons to battle.”
“Tell me one person that is as much of a pain in the ass as me.”
“I know you don’t remember this because it was soon after you were rescued, but Cole returned from war and he was more fucked up than you.”
“In what way?”
“I think that’s something that you need to talk to him about. I already asked him to come over. You can talk to him and he’ll understand.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone about it. You shouldn’t have called him.” I was pissed now. I didn’t need his friends knowing my inner demons and judging me for it. It was bad enough that Drew and my brother found me that way, but now Cole was going to come over to hear all about it?
“Cara, you need to talk to someone that understands. I can only do so much for you. If you won’t talk to your therapist, you need to talk to someone.”
He got up and walked out of the room, leaving me to my dinner. I was very hungry and I was just finishing up my sandwich when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Cole poked his head in and smiled.
“Can I come in?”
“It’s not like I have a choice. Apparently, my brother runs my life now.”
“Still got that attitude, I see.”
I rolled my eyes and took another drink of my water. Cole pulled up a chair and sat next to me.
“So you freaked out, huh?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“You locked yourself in a closet for almost two days.”
“Yep.”
“Well, you’re still doing better than I did when I came home. I didn’t leave my bed for days at a time. My parents had to come and force me to shower and feed me. I was basically catatonic for the first two or three months I was home. I don’t even remember much of it. Then your brother came over and started forcing me out of the house, but I still had days that I just couldn’t move.” He was looking out the window like he was lost in thought, but then he shook his head and looked at me. “I guess the way I figure it, locking yourself in a closet for a few days is small potatoes.”
I pulled at the paper around the water bottle as I decided whether or not I would say anything. Finally, I realized that he was probably one of the only people that would understand, the other being his wife, but it seemed too weird to talk to her about what I went through.
“I was at a therapy appointment and I just remembered this one thing. It sent me into a panic and before I knew it, I was at home cowering in the closet, sure that he was coming back to get me.”
He nodded. “Alex still has moments like that. It’s not something you just get over. She has panic attacks in public too.”
“She does?”
“Yeah, it’s usually brought on by something scary happening.”
“I feel so stupid. She was kept for close to six months. I was kept for ten days. She’s more of a functioning adult than I am.”
“You can’t base your recovery on how she’s doing. There’s no manual for how soon you should recover or certain steps you should take. Each person is different.”
My cheeks grew wet as the tears streamed down my face. “I didn’t leave the closet for almost two days. I was so out of it that I pissed all over the floor.”
Cole scratched the scruff on his neck. “I’m pretty sure I pissed the bed a time or two. When you’re that out of it, shit happens.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger at me. “But if you tell that shit to anyone, I’ll tell everyone you pissed all over the floor.”
I laughed through my tears and wiped my face. I took a deep breath and blew it out.
“You’ll be fine, Cara. Take a few days for yourself and get better.”