CHAPTER FOUR
Sinner
“WHY DOES YOUR boss have to know?”
God, did she even realize how tempting she was? She thought that because of her quirks that she wasn’t desirable. I could see it in the way she shrunk into herself after I said it wasn’t a good idea to go home with her. I did want her and that was a huge problem if I wanted to keep my job. Cap was already pissed at me over multiple incidents with his girlfriend. Maggie and I were friends, but Cap was not an understanding man when it came to her.
“He doesn’t have to know, but you have to understand that this would never be more. I’m not exactly relationship material.”
“Why do you say that? I mean, I’m not interested in that either, but I’m curious why you think that way.”
“Well, first of all, I don’t want to be in one. Second, my job is my first priority. I get sent out all the time and I never usually know how long the job will last. It’s not exactly conducive to making a relationship work.”
“Look, I would really like to get home. Can you just come back to my place? I have something I want to talk to you about.”
My head was telling me it wasn’t a good idea to follow her home, but my cock was standing to attention and waving me ahead.
“Sure.”
I followed her back to her house, which was way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere. There was another house on the property that was much larger than hers. I couldn’t tell much since it was dark out, but I would bet it was an older home. I parked next to her and followed her inside. It was cute and I could tell that she took great care in keeping it looking nice.
“Okay, you got me here. What do you want to talk about?”
“Well..” She took a seat and played with her top. “You know about my..difficulties. You’ve witnessed them twice now.”
“Yeah.”
“My therapist says that maybe I should be going out with you for..for when I’m trying to work past my anxiety attacks.”
“And why does he think that?”
“Because I trust you. I don’t panic around you and he thinks that you would be good for me because I don’t feel judged with you.”
I grinned wide at her. “So you talk about me with your therapist?”
She rolled her eyes at me and threw a pillow at my head. “When I told him how you took care of me when I had my attack, he caught on that you didn’t freak me out.”
“I’m guessing that I’m not the only person that doesn’t freak you out though.”
“No, but you’re the only one that makes me feel like it’s okay to have these feelings. Everyone else pities me.”
“I don’t think they pity you. They probably just don’t know how to respond around you.”
“But you do, which is why my therapist thinks that taking you with me when I go out would help create a less threatening environment for me.”
“Sweetheart, a restaurant is hardly a threatening environment.”
“For most people. For me, it’s terrifying.”
I didn’t mind going out with her and it made me proud that she felt so good with me, but I didn’t know what her deal was, so how could I help her?
“I think before I agree to anything, you need to tell me what’s going on.”
She hesitated, but when I raised my eyebrows at her, she continued.
“You know I was taken, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t know the details, but I got the gist.”
“Well, I was scared to leave the house for a long time. I was afraid that he would find me if I left, so I stayed inside and never went anywhere.”
“For how long?”
“Three years.”
Damn. That was a long time to be afraid.
“So, when he was killed, I decided to try and go out, but I was scared of everything. I was constantly looking for someone to jump out and grab me. I got nervous everywhere I went. My brother took me out to eat one day and I was so nervous that I got sick at the restaurant. After that, I couldn’t go in a restaurant because the smell of the food would make me nauseous.”
“You associate the smell of the food with getting sick in public.”
“Yes, it just keeps getting worse. Now I start to feel sick at just the thought of going to a restaurant. My therapist says that I’ve developed a social anxiety disorder.”
“So, how does me being with you help?”
“I don’t know. I guess since I feel safe with you, perhaps I’ll be more willing to try. I know that you won’t judge me if I have to leave or if I run to the bathroom.”
“So, I’ll be like your therapy buddy.” I grinned and so did she.
“Yes, that’s exactly what you would be.”
“You know that I’m not always around. We already talked about that.”
“I know, but it’s not like I go out all the time. We could just try when you’re available.”
“Are you going to try on your own in the meantime?”
“I don’t think so. Two weeks of ending up like that is already wearing me out. It takes everything out of me when it happens.”
“Well, I could definitely help when I’m around. I kind of like that I heal you.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “You haven’t healed me yet, ass.”
“But I will and when I do, I expect a reward.”
“Would you like a pat on the head like a good puppy?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of a pat on my other head.”
She flushed and ducked her head. “About that, would you be up for a casual relationship?”
“You mean fucking when one of us needs it?”
“Yes, I’m definitely not in a position to have a relationship with anyone and it’s been quite a while for me.”
“You said you haven’t let a man touch you since before you were taken.”
She shook her head. “How do you pick up a guy when you don’t leave the house?”
The thought of getting to stick my dick in this woman was so tempting, but part of me was saying this might not be a good idea. She hadn’t had sex since she was abducted. What if she freaked out during sex? I had no idea how to deal with that shit.
“Before I agree to anything like this, I need you to be honest with me.” She nodded. “The guy that took you, did he rape you?”
The blood drained from her face and her lips pursed. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest. I liked her this way, ready to throw out some sass.
“Does that matter?”
“Yes, it matters. When I’ve got my cock buried inside you, I need to know if it’s me you’re thinking about or if you’re going to freak out over something I do. It doesn’t matter if he touched you, but I still need to know so I don’t do something to fuck you up even more than you already are.”
She flinched back as if I’d slapped her. Yeah, I could have been a little kinder with my words, but I needed her to understand that I didn’t want to be the reason she had a setback. I could see her pulling away and I didn’t want that. Not if she really wanted this.
“You know what? Forget it. I already know I’m fucked up. I don’t need you to shove that in my face.”
She stepped back, but I quickly covered the distance between us and pulled her flush against my body. My hand wrapped around the back of her neck so she couldn’t pull away.
“I want to fuck you and I’ve wanted to since I first saw you open your eyes. I think you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen and if you’re okay with keeping things casual, then I’m all in. You may be fucked up, but you’re not broken. I can still see the fight in you. I just don’t want you to be fighting me. So, are you going to answer my question?”
“He didn’t touch me like that,” she whispered, her breath fanned over my face. “I have one rule.”
“Then hurry up and tell me so I can fuck you.”
“As long as we’re together, you don’t fuck anyone else. If you want someone else, then we’re done.”
“Agreed.”
I slammed my mouth down on hers and grabbed her by the ass cheeks, pulling her up around my waist. As she wrapped her legs around me, I couldn’t help but groan as her pussy rubbed against my dick. God, I needed to be inside her. I fumbled around her house, trying to walk to the bedroom while carrying her and kissing her. Her mouth was like heaven and I just couldn’t tear myself away from her.
“Fuck it,” I said as I dropped to the ground in the hallway and laid on top of her as I plunged my tongue in her mouth. She started patting me on the back and it grew more urgent, finally pulling me out of my lust filled haze.
“I can’t be under you. Not yet.”
I rolled her over so she was straddling me and I saw the fear leave her eyes. This didn’t work for me though. I wanted to be pounding into her. For now, I would settle for eating her pussy. I lifted her off me and laid her back on the ground.
“Sinner, no-”
“Just trust me. I won’t get on top of you.”
She nodded, so I undid her pants and dragged them down her legs. I almost came in my pants when I saw her freshly shaven pussy. God, I wanted to eat her so bad. I spread her legs and watched her pussy lips open for me. She glistened even in the darkness of the hallway. After smelling her scent, I took my first lick and felt her tremble under my touch. I sucked and licked her until she was moaning. Her hips started to thrust up toward my mouth, begging me for more. When I slid a finger inside her, I heard her gasp. I wanted so much more, but it had been six years for her. I couldn’t push it. I leisurely pumped my finger inside her until her legs shook from her impending orgasm.
“Mark! Ahhh.” I loved her screaming my name as she came. I continued to slowly pump inside her as she came down from her high. When her legs fell to the sides, I crawled up her, careful to leave space between us and kissed her lips. She looked like she was drugged right now. Her eyes were euphoric and would barely stay open.
Deciding she’d probably had enough for one night, I picked her up and carried her toward a bedroom. Luckily, the one I chose had a bed and even if it wasn’t hers, it would work for tonight. I wanted so badly to be inside her, but she didn’t look like she would stay awake for it, and I definitely wanted her totally aware of what was going on when I was inside her.
She was almost completely out of it when I set her on the bed and covered her with a sheet. She looked so vulnerable lying in the bed and part of me didn’t want to leave her, but I didn’t do sleep overs. Not only that, but I wasn’t sure if she would freak out if she found me in bed with her.
I pressed down on my cock to keep it from straining against the zipper any harder and then leaned forward to give her a kiss.
“Sweet dreams, Cara.”
I went to the front of the house and was about to leave when I realized I didn’t have a key. After searching through her junk drawer, I found a key that looked like a house key. I tested it on the front door and then left her a note that I was taking it so I could lock up. There was no way I would let her wake up to her front door unlocked. This was her safe place and it would stay that way.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Vanessa Adams. She’s coming to Pittsburgh for a charity event and needs security.” Sebastian handed Cazzo, Burg, and me a file on her. We were always on a team together unless it was unnecessary to have more than one personal protection agent. Bodyguards, that’s basically what we were, but now it had to sound all fancy.
“Vanessa Adams, as in Victor Adams’ daughter?” Sebastian nodded. Victor was a billionaire that ran one of the largest financial firms in the United States. His daughters were always attending charity functions where they gave away thousands of dollars.
“What happened to her other security detail?” Cazzo asked.
“According to her, they weren’t good enough and didn’t make her feel safe.”
“What did the security team have to say?” Burg asked as he closed the folder.
“They said she’s a pain in the ass that doesn’t listen to instructions and comes on to all the security detail.”
I groaned because usually when we had someone like that, the guys all stuck me as the primary. “No. Can’t someone else take the detail?”
“All the other teams are going to be starting new assignments. Besides, you like to get close and personal with women, right?” Sebastian was baiting me. He still thought that I had the hots for his wife.
“I don’t get close and personal with anyone I’m protecting. You know that,” I pointed the folder at him.
“You’ll be meeting her at The Mansions on Fifth. She rented out the whole place, so you’ll have to get over there today to go over security. Let me know if you’re going to need anyone else.”
“I thought you said there were no other teams available?” I questioned.
“I may have exaggerated. There are one or two extra agents, but you know I like to keep teams together. Here’s a list of security measures they already have in place and what I’d like you to bring along to install. When you get there, let me know if you need anything else and I’ll have it sent over.” He handed another folder to Cazzo, who nodded and stood.
“Alright, we’ll pack up and head over within the hour.”
Burg and I followed Cazzo out and headed to the parking garage to load up the SUV. We had a supply room down there where we stored our gear. You had to go through three scanners and key codes to get in. The codes changed daily and the only people that had access were active team members.
After loading up, we headed to the city and got to work securing the hotel. Why she needed the whole fucking place was beyond me. There were two houses and she only needed maybe a quarter of the smaller house. Still, it was easier to secure if we had the whole place to ourselves. There was a large, aluminum fence surrounding the property that would help us immensely and we installed sensors all around the property. It took us most of the day to secure everything the way we needed to and I hoped that the hotel chose to keep everything in place so we didn’t have to take it all down when the job was done.
There was one thing I wanted before this job started and that was a night with Cara. My cock still got hard every time I thought about her and I was ready to take her up on her offer. When we got back to the offices, we made a plan to meet here again tomorrow at seven. Vanessa would be arriving in Pittsburgh by two the next afternoon, so that gave us some more time to double check the sensors and talk with the staff. Then we would meet her at the airport and escort her to the property.
I drove over to Cara’s house, but her house was dark. I didn’t think she would go out again so soon after a panic attack, so I wondered where she could be. It was only eight o’clock. It was too early for her to be asleep. I was just about to leave, disappointed that I wouldn’t be getting my happy ending tonight, when I saw someone step out of the house on the other side of the driveway. It was hard to see in the dark, but from the porch light, I could tell by the way she walked that it was her.
I got out of my truck and called to her, not wanting to scare her, then jogged over to her. She didn’t need to be walking home in the dark. This had to be terrifying for her.
“What are you doing walking back in the dark alone?”
“Hello to you, too. I’m walking home from Drew and Sarah’s like I do every day.”
“Drew who?”
“He’s a friend of Sebastian’s. Will you relax? I used to live with them.”
We continued to walk to her house and though she tried to hide it, I could see her looking into the darkness. She was waiting for someone to jump out at her. It pissed me off that she was walking home when the asshole could give her a ride.
“If Drew is a friend of yours, why is he making you walk home in the dark when he knows what you’ve been through?”
“He’s not making me do anything,” she snipped. “I choose to walk home because I don’t want to be scared anymore. Drew walked me home every night for three months. Then I made him stop. Then, he stood on the porch and watched for another two months. I got sick of feeling like I needed to be looked after, so I told him I would quit working for him if he didn’t knock it off. If you look back, though, you’ll see he’s watching from the window.”
Her phone rang in her purse and she reached in to get it. “And that’s him calling. Hello, Drew. Yes, I’m fine. He’s a friend.” She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “I met him at the diner in town. I didn’t tell you because you’re not my father and I’m twenty-nine years old.” She stopped and turned toward the window. “He works for Sebastian, so you can stop nosing around and go help Sarah with the twins.” Her mouth dropped open and she pointed a finger through the darkness at him. “If you even think about going to Sebastian, I’ll quit tonight and you’ll never see me again. Then you can explain to Sarah why she lost a nanny a month before she’s supposed to go back to work. On top of that, you’ll have to start changing diapers again.. That’s what I thought. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Wow. I’ve never seen you quite so forceful.”
“Drew’s like a brother to me. He’s very protective of me because of how I came into their lives.”
“How did you come into their lives?”
She hesitated and wouldn’t look at me. “I just mean that he’s protective because I’ve been with them since Henry and Charlotte were born.”
I didn’t buy it for a minute. She was hiding something from me, but I got the feeling it wasn’t about her. I knew there was something that happened last year with Vira and Sarah, but I wasn’t privy to the specifics. All I knew was that Vira’s ex was threatening Sarah with something and he was using it to get to Vira. Luckily, we’d been able to dig up dirt on him and Vira was now out in California.
We walked into her house and she dropped down on the couch with a sigh.
“Long day?”
“Yeah. Do you know how exhausting it is to watch twin three year olds and twin one month olds?”
“No, and I don’t want to find out.”
I grabbed her hand and yanked her up to me. I didn’t waste any time as I pulled her in for a kiss. I had been waiting since last night to be inside her and I wasn’t about to waste any more time with small talk. When she relaxed into the kiss and wound her fingers around my neck, I knew that she wanted this too. Pulling back from her, I looked into her eyes and found no fear.
“Where’s your bedroom?”
“Same one you put me in last night.”
I dragged her down the hall and pushed her down on the bed. I undid the belt buckle and started to unzip my jeans, but I froze at the look on her face. She was breathing hard and looked scared.
“Cara, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I took a step toward her, but she scrambled quickly off the bed and cowered in the corner. I stopped and tried to think about what had caused this reaction. She was fine until I undid my belt. Could that be it? Did that asshole use a belt on her?