Chapter Thirty-Two
BECCA LAY STRETCHED out on the floor next to Jazz. Ashton was on the sofa nearby.
“I took her back for her recheck and she’s fine,” she said, petting her dog. “We went over the X-rays again and it was so cool to see them.” She bit her lower lip, and then blurted, “I’ve been thinking about college and what I want to study. I’m thinking I want to either go to veterinary school or be a radiologist. I know, I know, it’s a lot of work and I’d have to stay in school for like the rest of my life, but when I was calm and we were talking about the X-rays, it was so interesting.”
She sat up and faced him. “I already made an appointment with my counselor. She’s there for another week before she goes on summer break and she’s fitting me in. It means I’d have to change my classes next semester and take another science class and I’d have to take calculus, which I wanted to put off, but it’s worth it.” She stopped before asking, “What do you think?”
“Hmm. I don’t know. My girlfriend’s brain.” He closed his eyes as if he were thinking, then looked at her. “I like it.”
She laughed and moved toward him. He leaned close and kissed her.
“You know,” he said, “there are a lot of great schools near MIT. You could apply to a couple of them.”
“I could. I might.”
“Good.”
He kissed her again, lingering this time. Her phone chirped and she glanced at the keyboard, then pushed it away.
“Lucas?”
“Whatever. He wants to take Thor for a walk and invited me along.”
“How often is he getting in touch with you?”
“Every day.” She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t mean anything. He’s...”
“What? He’s faking wanting to spend time with you?”
“No, it’s just... He hurt my mom.”
“He did and he’s a dick for doing that, but what about you, Becca? I thought you guys were tight.”
“We were, but I can’t be friends with him now.”
“Is that what your mom said?”
“No. I didn’t ask her.” She hadn’t wanted to mention Lucas at all. Her mom was finally doing okay with the business expansion. She and Dean were packing boxes and had hired a full-time person. Things were good. Why bring up something from the past?
“Having someone care about you is a good thing,” Ashton told her. “You might want to think about that before you throw it away.”
“You think I should talk to him.”
“I think you should give him a chance. Yes, he hurt your mom, but he didn’t hurt you. He cares about you. I’m going to be gone at the end of summer. I’d feel better if I knew Lucas had your back.”
“You are so annoying.”
“Maybe, but I’m not wrong.”
She groaned, then reached for her phone. “Fine. I’ll talk to my mom and if she says it’s okay, I’ll go walk my dog with him, but I won’t like it.”
* * *
Harper taped the box shut and moved it to the growing stack. She and Dean were moving into their new office in less than two weeks. Starting a limited partnership took a lot of time and paperwork, but she knew in her gut, she was doing the right thing.
She couldn’t believe that by expanding the business, she was actually going to have more time for herself and her daughter, but that was how things were shaping up. She and Dean had drawn up an agreement, spelling out responsibilities for each of them, along with the hours they intended to work. Harper had promised him and herself she would stop working on Sundays and only bring home projects for Saturday morning. The evenings were to be spent on things other than calligraphy and making gift bags.
She was in a good place, at least for that part of her life. Yes, she still missed Lucas—far more than she’d thought she would. The damned man had stolen into her heart and no matter what, she couldn’t seem to dislodge him. But she was moving forward and telling herself everything was going to be fine.
“Mom, can I talk to you for a second?”
She looked up as Becca walked into the office. “Sure, honey, but I thought Ashton was here.”
“He went home. We’re getting together later.” Becca shifted her weight from foot to foot. “I didn’t tell you everything about the accident.”
Harper froze. “What didn’t you tell me?”
“That when I called the Mischief Bay police they got in touch with Lucas and he came to check on me.”
The response was both better and worse than she’d imagined. “Okay,” she said slowly. “And?”
“He wants to be friends with me. He says he cares about me and whatever happened between the two of you isn’t about him and me. Ashton says Lucas has always been there for me and I shouldn’t throw that away, but he hurt you, so I’m not talking to him, only he won’t go away and I don’t know what to do.”
Harper collapsed into her chair. Becca looked worried and hopeful and the most heart-wrenching combination of adult and child.
She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her daughter that under no circumstances was she to see, text or speak to Lucas. That he was the devil and with luck the next time he got shot, he would die. Only... Only...
Lucas had been a far better father than Terence had bothered to be, especially since the divorce. He’d taken care of Becca, taught her to drive, insisted she understand her car and demanded good grades for the privilege of her license. He’d been consistent, fair and unfailingly patient. All Harper’s complaints about him were personal.
“Ashton is right,” she said slowly. “Whatever is going on between Lucas and me has nothing to do with you. Go talk to him. Listen to what he says. If you don’t like it, then walk away.”
“You sure?”
Two words that told her what Becca really wanted, or maybe she’d always known. With Terence gone, Becca had a dad-sized hole in her life and she’d found someone to fill it.
“I’m sure.” Harper smiled. “I promise.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’m going to text him back right now.”
Her daughter danced out of the room. Harper returned her attention to her packing, then glanced up at the ceiling. “If you’re listening, God, I deserve a whole lot of credit for that one. Let’s all try to remember you owe me the next time some guy asks me out.”
* * *
Becca drove to the park. Jazz whined from the back seat, but Becca was firm.
“No. You’re going to ride back there. It’s safer. Do you know how lucky we are that the air bag didn’t go off? Not that it would have from a rear-end collision, but still. It could have, and then you would have been hurt. This is better.”
Jazz yipped.
“Don’t you take that tone with me, young lady,” Becca said with a laugh.
She pulled in the parking lot of the dog park and opened the door for Jazz. Her dog jumped down, sniffed, then began to whine. Becca figured her excitement was a lot more about Thor than Lucas, but knew that both were nearby. She turned and saw them approaching.
He was there, just like he said he would be. Just like he’d always been. She dropped the leash and ran toward him. He caught her and hugged her so hard, she couldn’t breathe, but that was okay.
After a couple of seconds, she looked up at him. “I’m still mad about my mom.”
“I know.”
“You were a dick. You still are.”
“I know.”
“I talked to her. Do you know how great she is? She said it was okay for me to hang out with you. That’s how much of a mom she is.”
He nodded without speaking.
“But you’ve been good to me, and there for me, so I’m here. I guess people are complicated.”
“I’ve never had kids,” he said, his voice gruff. “I thought I would for a while, but then I realized it wasn’t going to happen. I kind of wish things had been different, but they are what they are.” He cleared his throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I think of you as the daughter I never had. I love you, Becca. No matter what, I’ll be here for you. You can always call me, day or night. Whatever it is, I’ll be there. I’ll keep showing up. I give you my word.”
She knew what his word was worth, at least when it came to her. He wouldn’t be like her dad. He wouldn’t forget her or get too busy or even drop her when he broke up with her mom. She trusted him.
“Thank you,” she murmured, not ready to say the L word, but kind of feeling it on the inside. She turned and called for Jazz, who immediately walked to her side. Thor returned to Lucas and the four of them strolled along the boardwalk.
“I got an A in European History. My teacher was really impressed with my report.”
“See what happens when you do the work?”
She sighed. “Can you just say congratulations? Does every second have to be a life lesson?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fine. Yes, if I’d done the work, I wouldn’t have had to do the report. But I really enjoyed it and I learned a lot. War is awful. We shouldn’t do that anymore.”
“You’re right. We shouldn’t. Anything else?”
“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to know when it’s okay to have sex with Ashton.”
Lucas swore under his breath. “We are not having that conversation.”
“I have to talk to someone and we both know my mom would totally freak out. Although I guess I should talk to her. I should probably be on birth control. I mean I agree with Ashton that we should wait, but he’s pretty hot and what if I can’t control myself much longer?”
Lucas swore again. “You’re killing me, kid.”
“Good. That was my plan.”
* * *
People complained about being in a routine, but Stacey found comfort and happiness in the sameness of her days. When she got home from work, she spent a half hour with JW while Kit finished making dinner. If Ashton was home, he cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen. When JW went down for her evening nap, Stacey and Kit hung out or watched TV or worked on a jigsaw puzzle. Stacey handled the eight o’clock feeding and the one at midnight, Kit took care of the rest.
She was happy—a state she’d experienced since meeting Kit but not one she’d expected after they had a baby. She’d been so afraid of what would happen, of being replaced, of not being enough. Although no one would accuse her of being the greatest mother on the planet, she could manage a few basic things. Feeding, changing diapers. Perhaps as JW grew, Stacey would feel inadequate in other areas of her mothering, but for now, she was doing okay.
She had so much—her job, her family, her husband, Ashton and JW—and so much of that was because of Kit. Yes, she would still have her great career without him, but if she was by herself, it would consume her and that wasn’t healthy. Without him, her mother would have made her even more unsure and she wouldn’t have met Ashton or had JW. Kit was, as always, the best part of her.
As he studied their half-finished thousand-piece puzzle, she felt her love for him grow inside of her until it was all she was. Just love for her husband. JW lay in her chair on the table, staring at the mobile turning above her head. This moment was so perfect, she wanted to thank him and show him how much he meant to her. Only he would say that having her and their baby was enough. He would say he already had everything he wanted in the world. That he was perfectly happy and leaving her with no way to express her feelings of—
“I need to check to see if Max emailed me,” she lied, coming to her feet. “Can you watch JW for a second?”
“Sure.” Kit smiled. “Tell Max hi from me.”
“I will.”
Stacey hurried to her desk and opened her iPad. She typed in her search question, then sent the list and the paperwork required to their shared printer. Papers in hand, she returned to the dining room.
Kit was still studying the puzzle. With his right hand, he picked up a small piece and set it in place. With his left hand, he rocked JW. His hair was too long, his T-shirt rumpled. He was kind and sexy and fun and the best man she had ever known.
“Kit?”
He looked at her. “What’s up?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Very much.”
She sat next to him and set the papers on the table. “We decided it would be best to give JW your last name. Hyphenating it was going to be too much of a burden for her.”
“Did you change your mind? Stacey, I don’t care if you want to hyphenate her name. Whatever makes you happy.”
“I don’t want to do that. I want to hyphenate mine, at least at work because I’ve been in the field for so long. But in the rest of my life, I want to just be your wife. I’d like to take your name.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this for me.”
“I want to. I want everyone to know I’m your wife.”
He smiled and kissed her. “I think of myself as your husband, but whatever makes you happy.”
“You do. Always.”
* * *
Harper had just loaded another box in her car when she heard a familiar sound. Her stomach clenched and the urge to bolt was incredibly powerful. Still, she stood her ground as Lucas pulled up in front of her house.
The top was down on his convertible and once again he had a passenger, only this time, instead of some twenty-year-old woman/girl, a tall, black-and-tan Doberman rode proudly in the passenger seat.
Thor looked both regal and ridiculous. Then he caught sight of her and his expression changed to one of happy excitement. So much for regal, Harper thought, telling herself that focusing on the dog meant she would be okay. Thor wasn’t the problem at all.
She hadn’t seen Lucas since the last time he’d been by. Dean had handled returning all his things to him and had closed out his account with their business. She’d deleted all the passwords she’d kept for him, had taken him off her phone, but no matter how much purging she did, the stupid man continued to hang on to her heart.
If only he weren’t so handsome. If only she didn’t like spending time with him, or how he was with her daughter, or the sex. If only the sex had been bad.
She’d been a fool, she acknowledged, falling for a guy like him. She’d known better and had done it anyway. Lucas had never pretended to be other than he was. She’d been the one to assume he could be normal. Oh, he deserved all the blame for doing everything she’d asked him not to do, but believing in him—that was on her.
He nodded at Thor, who gracefully jumped over the door and onto the grass. He trotted up to Harper to greet her, then ran to the front door. Harper followed and let him in. She heard Jazz come running, then the frenzied gallop that told her they’d already started their favorite chase game.
She briefly thought about shutting the door behind her and locking it, but the gesture would only be satisfying for a moment, while the knowledge that she’d been childish would live on much longer. So she stood still until Lucas walked into the house, then crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
“You’re still mad,” he began. “No, not mad. Hurt and mad. I broke my word. You asked me for one thing and I didn’t do it. I betrayed you and hurt you. I get that.” He shoved his hands in his front pockets, then took them out.
“I’m sorry for what I did and how I hurt you. I apologize for my actions and I didn’t have sex with her. The girl.”
“Thumper? Was that her name?”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “Not Thumper. I don’t even know why I asked her out and I sure as hell don’t know why I brought her here.”
“Oh, please.” She dropped her arms to her side. “You know exactly why you did it. We all do. You are as transparent as glass. You liked what we had. You thought it was great and that scared the crap out of you. You’re so afraid of making another mistake, you won’t even try. You play at relationships with women without actually having one, and somewhere along the way you convinced yourself that what you’re doing is plenty. That you don’t need more.”
She poked him in the chest. “But you know what? You’re completely and totally wrong. You desperately want more. That’s why you were always hanging around here. You like being a part of something, so one day you took a chance and it was better than you thought. So much better you got scared. But did you have the balls to talk about that with me? Of course not. Instead you lashed out like a five-year-old and you deliberately set out to hurt and humiliate me. Don’t for one second think that is something I’m going to forgive or forget.”
His dark green gaze settled on her face. “There’s no fooling you.”
“You got that right.”
“I was fully in the wrong.”
“You were.”
Telling him off had been empowering. She felt strong and more than capable of taking care of herself. She didn’t need a man, certainly not Lucas. He was nothing to her. She’d moved on. M-o-v-e-d on.
“I love you.”
Her stomach hit the floor as her brain shut down. “W-what?”
“I love you,” he repeated, his gaze steady. “I love you, Harper.”
Silly, foolish hope flared to life. She did her best to squash it, but it refused to die. “You’re just saying that because you want to get laid.”
He didn’t smile. Instead he said, “Before I got shot last year, I told myself I had it all. A job I loved, friends, hot and cold running women. Everything was easy and exactly how I liked it. Then I nearly died. While I was recovering, I had a chance to think. I stayed with Kirk and Jen and I saw what they had. I saw what it meant to have someone to love and know you had their back while they had yours. I remembered what it was like to be part of a family. Slowly, I began to want that for myself. Then I met you.”
She told herself to remember she’d moved on, that there was no way she could trust him. Only she really, really wanted to.
“You were so earnest and so determined to do a good job. With your matching napkins and homemade everything, you were charming. Your mom made you crazy and you had the best daughter in the world and slowly, so slowly I didn’t see it happening, I fell for you.”
“That’s a nice story,” she began, even as her resolve began to crumble.
“It’s not a story.” He moved closer. “I had to screw it all up to see it, but that doesn’t change the truth. I love you, Harper. I’m kind of crazy about your daughter, too, but that’s totally different.”
He put his hand on her upper arm. “I know I have a lot of ground to make up. You have no reason to forgive me or believe me. I need to earn your trust again and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I want to be here for the long haul. Forever. For always.”
Harper wasn’t sure how she was supposed to resist him. Yes, he’d been beyond stupid, but she understood why, and she believed that he’d learned his lesson. She thought about how things had been before and how they were now. She thought about the plates at the table and knew she really wanted there to always be at least two. His and hers.
Theirs.
“Well, damn,” she murmured, right before she kissed him. “I guess I love you, too.”
“Good.” He grabbed her around the waist and grinned. “Want to have a baby?”
“What? Dear God, no! We’re too old.”
“What about a cat? Want to get a cat?”
“We have Dobermans. I’m not sure a cat’s a good idea. Unless it was maybe a bobcat.”
“Want to marry me?”
Her heart stopped, then started up again. Certainty replaced any lingering doubts, then happiness overwhelmed everything else.
“Maybe,” she teased.
“Maybe?” He nibbled on her bottom lip. “Just maybe?”
“Okay, yes. But not right away. We have stuff to work through.”
“Want to go make a spreadsheet? You know how that makes you happy.”
“You make me happy,” she told him. “When you’re not being stupid.”
“You make me happy all the time.”
She took him by the hand and led him toward her bedroom. “Good to know. And just to be clear, I’m going to be fifty in eight years. You need to be able to handle that.”
“I can handle it just fine.”
“Maybe I’ll start getting BOTOX.”
“Maybe I’ll research bobcats.”
She was still laughing when he pulled her into his arms and silenced her in the best way possible. There was time to deal with the BOTOX/bobcat issue and everything else. They had the rest of their lives.
* * * * *