If there was anything I had learned in the past few months, and in the past ten years, it was that I needed to follow my heart, and my feelings, and not let my stupid brain get in the way.

And I was exercising this with all my strength now, with Josh beside me in bed. Every part of my brain was screaming at me that I didn’t deserve Josh, that I’d hurt him, that I should run away before I hurt him again. But another part of me knew that the real truth—the glowing core at the center of me, my intuition—was that I belonged here with him. That if I could just let go, and let him into my life, it would be the most important thing that had ever happened to me.

And against all odds, Josh wanted me back. He was willing to forgive, to let me in, and I owed him the whole fucking world for that.

I wanted to be able to make Josh realize just how special he was.

There was also just about nothing sexier than having him on top of me, begging me to fuck him. That was exactly what I planned to do.

I moved until I was on top of him, bending and kissing him hard. Afterward, I sat up again on my knees, bringing his legs up and around my shoulders. I kissed the soft skin of his inner thigh, running my hands along his legs and to his ass. I wanted him so badly it almost hurt, and the idea that I’d be inside him soon—that he’d let me, and want me to be inside him, felt like winning the damn lottery.

After slicking my fingers, I slid them up against his hole again, and then slowly pushed one finger inside him.

He let out a soft sigh. “God damn, Adrian,” he said. It was good, extremely good, but I knew I could get more of a reaction out of him. I wanted him to come apart for me.

So in another moment, I pushed in a second finger to join the first.

“Fuck,” he said, his voice loud and broken.

“That’s more like it,” I said, watching him as he moaned softly, squeezing around me.

“It’s so good,” he whispered. Slowly, he spread his legs more and more, as if he were inviting me inside. I was pretty sure I might explode at any second.

As I pushed inside him, loosening him and warming him up, his eyes fluttered closed. Every few moments he’d let out a few breathy words—my name sounded so good on his lips.

But after a while, his eyes slowly opened again, and he looked me in the eye as he reached down to grip a hand against my waist.

“I’m ready, Adrian,” he said. “Please.”

“You sure?” I asked, pushing my fingers deep inside him, relishing as he shuddered at the touch.

“Oh God fucking yes, I am sure,” he said, squeezing hard around me.

I slid my fingers out of him slowly, reaching over and putting on the condom. My hands shook slightly as I rolled it on, and I realized that no matter how desperately I wanted this, a big part of me was nervous.

As much as I’d wanted to fuck Josh, I hadn’t let myself truly picture it, because it hurt too much to think that I may never have it. So now, here, the reality of it was so tantalizing that I could barely think. This was a man who cared about me enough to forgive me for my bullshit, to see past the mask I’d put out to the world and know who I truly was inside.

It meant so much to me, and I had no idea how I’d ever repay him.

I leaned over him again, his legs up around me and my cock up against his hole. I pushed forward, watching as Josh’s cock twitched, leaking clear precum down against his own stomach. He was so hard, as hard as I was as I slowly pushed past his tight ring.

A low moan I couldn’t control escaped my throat as I finally slipped inside him. He was so tight, so hot and perfect and he made the most incredible sound.

“God, Adrian,” he gasped, and I had to work to control myself, to go slowly into him instead of push in hard and fast.

“You’re… you’re perfect,” I managed to say, sliding in further, until finally, I was completely inside him. I stayed there for a few moments, breathing with him, letting him relax into the fullness.

But of course, he was begging for more, a moment later.

“Fuck me,” he said, and I felt him squeezing around my cock. He didn’t have to tell me twice.

I worked up a steady pace, pushing inside him, and I was rewarded with the most amazing sounds from Josh. His skin was flushed and he didn’t break his gaze from me except every once in a while, when I hit just the right spot, and his eyelids would flutter shut. His fingers dug deep against the skin at my hips, pushing me deeper into him.

And after we’d gotten to a steady pace, and Josh was loosened and comfortable, I paused with my cock deep inside him to bend low and kiss him.

He kissed me back hard, biting my bottom lip as he pulled away. He moved to the side, nibbling my earlobe.

“Harder,” he whispered, so close to my ear.

I just half-moaned, half-growled in response. I’d never connected with anyone like I did with Josh, but I sure as hell knew how to fuck a guy hard. I straightened up again and spread his legs a little wider open, repositioning myself so that I could thrust deeper inside.

When I picked up my speed, pushing harder and faster inside him, Josh only got louder.

“You’re so… fucking… good,” he said, his words punctuated by breathing.

I knew then that this was what I wanted, what Josh deserved every day. He deserved to feel this good, to be this comfortable with me at all times.

I wrapped one hand around Josh’s neglected cock as I gripped his thigh in my other hand, and his eyes blew wide.

“Oh my God,” he said, in a low tone. “You have no idea—that’s gonna make me come fast—”

“I want you to come,” I said. It was partly selfish. I knew how close I was, and I certainly needed him to come before me. But I also knew that he wanted it, too, and that all I had to do was stroke him inside and out, and he would come for me.

The thought was too tempting to ignore.

So I began stroking his cock, fast and tight, along with my movement inside him. And within a matter of a minute, Josh seemed ready to explode. He wasn’t even able to form words anymore, and every time I caught his eyes, I felt closer and closer to the edge.

When he next looked up at me, there was something sweet in his eyes, like he’d given up trying to fight against his orgasm.

“God, Adrian, I love you—”

“Fuck,” I whispered, because hearing those words on his lips, right now, was all that I needed to push me over the edge. It was blissful in a way I couldn’t even understand, couldn’t put to words even if I tried. But maybe the best way to describe it was pure belonging, knowing that for the first time ever, I was meant to be with this person.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna come, Josh,” I whispered, slightly panicked at the moment.

“I’m coming,” Josh said, both like he was reassuring me and warning me at the same moment. And soon after, as I felt myself begin to come, thrusting deep inside him, his limbs tightened around me and he squeezed tighter than ever around my cock.

It was an orgasm more electric than I’d ever felt, like the world around me had been erased completely and for so many blissful moments, there was nothing but this. The hot feeling of skin on skin, of being inside the person I loved, of having him wrapped so tight around me, holding me like he never wanted to let go. I came over and over inside him and heard vaguely as he repeated my name like a mantra.

And then, as I finally started to remember the world around me, I heard him repeating something else.

“I love you, I fucking love you,” he was whispering, his eyes still squeezed shut and his hands gripped so tight around me. He’d come all over his stomach and chest, and we were sweaty and hot and a complete, perfect fucking mess.

I never wanted to leave his side again.

I slid out of him, and after cleaning ourselves off with tissues, Josh curled up into my arms. I held him close, kissing him over and over on top of his head.

“I never want to leave,” I whispered, squeezing him.

“You never have to,” he said simply.

A week later, I sat around a big, circular booth with Josh, Sean, and Mason, waiting for Alora to arrive at Mistview Heights’ newest lunch hot spot. It was called Salt and Sugar, and the inside was like some sort of tropical respite from the cold fall weather outside: there were palm plants, warm wooden decor, and plenty of big, beautiful windows.

“I can’t decide between the salad and the grilled cheese,” Josh was saying, flipping through the menu.

“Those are pretty wildly different,” Sean said. “How could you ever pick salad over a grilled cheese?”

“Oh,” Mason said quietly, “The salad here is so good, though. The citrus vinaigrette….”

“Mason does have good taste in food,” I said.

“I already know what I’m having for dessert,” Josh said, closing the menu. “Maybe I should just get that and call it lunch.”

“What’s that?”

“The tiramisu,” he said, smiling at me.

“Perfect,” I said, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.

“Okay, okay, enough already,” Sean said, laughing. “I’m super happy you two are lovebirds, but don’t go too crazy, now.”

“Sorry, sorry,” I said, pulling back. But I still kept a hand on Josh’s thigh under the table.

“It’s okay, I just am more aware than ever of how single I am,” Sean said. “Mason? How about you? Any luck in your love life?” Sean asked.

He blushed a bright pink. “I’m working on it,” he said, but a small smile appeared on his face. He was adorable, and I wanted nothing more than for him to find someone special.

It could change a person to find someone they belonged with. It was changing me already.

“I’m here, I’m here,” came Alora’s voice, and soon she slid into the booth, squeezing in next to Sean. She took off her sunglasses and smiled at us. “So what is this all about?”

“C’mon, let us at least get food first, before we talk business?” Sean said, and Alora rolled her eyes at him.

We ordered a few minutes later, and I knew it was time to tell Alora what I’d come here to talk about. She was looking at me expectantly, her hands propped under her chin.

“So, I know that I’ve only been the owner of the hotel for a week now,” I said, watching her. “But I already have some ideas about the future direction we should go in.”

“Oh God, Adrian, don’t tell me you want to renovate the place,” Alora said.

“Hell, no,” I said. “I just think there might be someone better than me to manage general operations. I’ll still be the owner, but I need help running the damn place.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, thank God. I love you, but I knew from the start that you being in charge of operations was a misfire. I can help you with the hiring and selection process—I have so many friends from business school that would be perfect for the position. When are you getting started?”

I shook my head. “We aren’t going to have to interview anyone. That is, if the person I have in mind is up for the job.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re going to hire—”

“I want it to be you, Alora,” I said.

She was silent for a moment, looking around at everyone at the table, as if expecting this to be a joke.

“Oh,” she said finally, sitting up a little straighter. “Well, that’s a very good decision, Adrian.”

Sean and I laughed immediately. It was almost cute how she was trying to hide how excited she was to finally be in control of the hotel.

“What I’d like to do instead,” I said, “is act as the Director of Community Events. I want to be able to make the hotel what it once was: showcase amazing modern art in our lobby, have events for all of Mistview, support local musicians and have them play in the bar.”

Alora nodded. “These are all very good things. We could put the Terrance Hotel on the map again for young people, not just the elderly and wealthy. What you said in your speech last week was true, Adrian.”

“Exactly,” I said. “So… you’ll take the job?”

“Of course I’ll take the damn job!” she said, smiling. “It’s the job I’ve wanted for my entire life, dummy. God, I’ve got to tell my boss I’m leaving—this is going to be so good.”

And then, for the first time in my adult life, I watched as Alora broke down crying, tears of joy. She got up from the booth and came over to me, and I got up to give her a huge hug.

“God, Mom and Dad are going to be so pissed at you,” she said, laughing a little through her tears. “Already changing things.”

“Well, they’re not in charge anymore,” I said. “You and I are.”

“Damn right,” she said. “And we’re going to fucking rock it.”

The five of us ate lunch, talking about anything and everything. After seeing Alora get emotional, it was nice to just have a regular lunch with her, especially surrounded by other people who I loved and appreciated so much.

And by the end of the lunch, I looked out the windows and saw that a light snow was just beginning to fall.

“First snow of the year!” Sean said.

“Hell yeah,” Josh said. “Shit, I didn’t bring a coat.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” I said, leaning in close to his ear.

Josh reached over and squeezed my hand in his as we all looked out, watching as the snow fell slowly, sprinkling all the tree branches with white.

And long after we’d finished our tiramisu and coffee, and we were all just sitting, and talking, and laughing, I realized something profound: I felt like I belonged.

Only two of these people were my actual family, but to me, they all were. And I loved all of them, in such different and unique ways. I had come to find belonging in Mistview Heights, of all places—somewhere I once wanted to escape forever.

And it felt natural to be with Josh, too. Everyone at the table knew that I loved him, and something about that felt exactly right. I didn’t have to hide who I was to be respected.

My mom had even agreed to have lunch with me later this week, too. She wouldn’t come around as soon as the others, but I had a glimmer of hope even for her.

And in reality? I didn’t care about it anymore, either. I wanted the world to know that I was with Josh. Wanted everyone to see how important he was to me, how he was the reason I was able to be confident in myself for the first time in my life.

I was ready to live my life on my terms, with Josh near me for all of it—not just alone, but anywhere in the world we wanted to be.