“Alora, this is our decision,” my father was saying, his voice gravelly with finality. “It had always been our plan for Adrian to take over the hotel, and it hasn’t changed.”

Alora looked like she was sucking on a lemon. She crossed her arms, collapsing down onto the couch across from me. Her tantrums hadn’t changed all that much since she was a kid—now, she just did it in high heels and an expensive dress.

“Adrian doesn’t know the first thing about business, and you two should be well aware of that,” she said, her voice low. “The past ten years he’s been, what, drinking wine and galavanting around Oregon? Nobody important ever goes to Oregon. Adrian, I love you, but it’s true.”

“Well, he’s home now,” my father said, adjusting the bulky, golden class ring on his finger. “And of course Adrian will be brought up to speed on all of the necessary business initiatives and strategies.”

My parents skipped past all of the nice to see you again formalities quickly and got right into telling me about all of the upcoming tasks we’d need to complete. It was strange, sitting at a table with them and actually having them look at me, address me properly, as an equal. I was pretty sure it had never happened before, and I couldn’t deny that it felt incredible.

I had been almost sick with anxiety on my flight over—I’d thought for sure I’d made the wrong decision and that this was a huge mistake.

But I was starting to feel like it might have been okay. My grandfather’s portrait hung on the wall just beyond Alora and Sean, amongst the other portraits from the first years of this hotel’s existence. And that, more than anything, felt like a ballast in a storm.

If Grandpop could do this, so could I. I had no credentials, and really no clue what the fuck I was doing, but maybe for the first time, I could rise to the occasion.

After an hour’s worth of lectures from my parents about the important upcoming meetings and documents I needed to sign, I was relieved when Mom and Dad and Alora all went off to some black-tie fundraiser. It meant that I was left with Mason, who would soon be my assistant, and my brother Sean, the only member of my family I didn’t hate spending time with.

And walking around the Terrance Hotel—my hotel—felt like exploring a world that I thought had ended years ago. In my mind, it was like a locked box, covered in dust and cobwebs, tucked deep in storage and never opened. But now it had been brought back into broad daylight, and I was having to face what was inside.

“We’ve had the top-floor suite made immaculate for you, Mr. Terrance, so if you’d like I can show you up to the room?” Mason was asking me as we walked through the lobby.

“I remember the suite,” I said. “Was always my favorite one, as a kid. When it was vacant, I’d go in and pretend I was a king, drinking tea out of a glass and pretending it was whiskey, looking out the window at the streets.”

“Oh, of course,” Mason said, shaking his head quickly and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me. I forget that you probably know this hotel better than I do, Mr. Terrance.”

“Call me Adrian—please,” I said, waving a hand.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Adrian?” he asked, looking up at me again, dutifully.

“I should be fine,” I said. “Now that my mother is gone.”

Mason blinked at me, as if he was unsure whether or not I’d been joking. “Ah—alright,” he said finally. “Well, I’ll be up in a half hour to take you on the tour, introduce you to all of the staff.”

“See you then. Thanks for everything, Mason.”

He nodded and scurried off back toward the front desk, leaving me and Sean to ourselves.

“Up to the suite?” I said.

“Let’s head on up,” he agreed, and we started our way toward the elevator.

Sean was four years older than me, and he’d always been free of my parents’ criticisms. He owned a tutoring company, and though it wasn’t exactly the doctor or lawyer job that my parents wished it was, it still looked good. It was an important job, and my image-obsessed mother liked that when she told people what Sean did, they knew he was giving back to the community.

She hadn’t ever felt that way about my job.

“I really have missed you, Adrian,” Sean said as we stepped into the suite. “I honestly can’t believe you agreed to do this.”

I tossed my blazer on the bed, then went to go open the windows. The room smelled like a mixture of cleaning supplies and lavender, and I knew it had to have been just cleaned. This suite had always been nicer with the windows open—it looked out over the front courtyard, with all its tall trees, and the ambient noise of the city below was calming. There was also a big, grand fireplace in the living room, and it was already set up and burning by the time we walked in.

“I can’t believe I agreed to it, either,” I said, leaning against the windowsill. “I don’t think it’s really hit me yet.”

“I’m sure it will soon,” Sean said. “There’s a lot going on at the hotel these days. Got your work cut out for you.”

I laughed. “Gee, thanks for the encouragement.”

Sean smiled at me. “In all seriousness… it’s going to be a struggle. Especially at first. But… I think you’re suited for it, once Mom and Dad are out of the picture. I think you may even make a better hotel manager than they did.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “I’m kind of scared out of my mind. Mom already told me that I can’t be caught wearing any of those ‘silly hiking outfits’ I have.”

“Silly hiking outfits? Is she just talking about… sneakers and t-shirts?”

I nodded. “Everyone back in Oregon dresses that way all the time. This suit is… going to take getting used to.”

Sean and I caught up for a half hour, talking about the winery and his tutoring company and various family gossip. It felt like a briefing, an introduction to a lifestyle that had never appealed to me but was now suddenly my own. I gazed around the suite, remembering every time I’d come here as a kid, convinced that there must be a secret passageway in the big bedroom closet.

And as I looked at the decorations on the fireplace mantle, something caught my eye: it was a small paper crane. I hadn’t seen one in so long, but I’d loved them ever since high school.

Before I got up to inspect it, there came a knock at the door.

“Mr. Terr—I mean, Adrian? Shall we be on our way?”

Sean looked down at his watch, grinning. “That was exactly a half hour. Nobody is as punctual as Mason.”

“You coming along?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I’ll be up here. The hotel gets about five times the amount of cable channels I do, and I plan on catching up on House Hunters.”

I gave Sean a little salute and then headed for the door.

Over the next hour, Mason took me on the grand tour of the Terrance Hotel as it ran today. Essentially none of the staff was the same as it had been ten years ago—though I remembered every hallway, nook and cranny like the back of my hand, I still felt like I was on someone else’s turf.

I met the management staff, the front office director, the food manager, the head of logistics. When I was a kid I’d taken for granted the fact that I just knew everybody at the hotel—they all felt like an extension of my own family—but now, I felt I was swirling in a vortex of names and faces and I was sure I would forget instantly.

He took me down to the basement, showing me where deliveries and packages came in. The basement felt like another world. Suddenly there were no more huge plants, no more marble, and certainly no grand pianos. It was all utility down here, where no customers went.

“And through here is the housekeeping lounge—you won’t have to deal with them much, though.”

Mason kept walking, but I stopped near the door. I heard laughter and the tinny sound of radio music coming from inside the lounge.

“We’re not even going to go in and meet them?”

Mason turned, his eyes wide with confusion. “Well—like I said, you won’t have to manage the housekeeping staff, any problems they have, they report to me or to the housekeeping manager—”

“I know, I know,” I said. “I still want to… meet everyone, though. I want to know every aspect of the hotel if I’m going to be in charge of things. And housekeeping is one of our most important jobs.”

Mason nodded, taking a step back toward me. “That’s right, sir,” he said. “Forgive me.”

I laughed softly. “How long is it going to take before you actually call me Adrian instead of ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Terrance?’”

For the first time, I saw a small smile on Mason’s face. “I’ll have to get used to it,” he said.

I held out my key card to the magnetic entry lock, and the door to the housekeeping lounge unlocked with a click. Mason and I stepped inside, and in front of us, around a small circular table, was a group of about six women, all laughing and talking.

When we stepped inside, they quickly sat up straighter, and the noise in the room died down. One of the women reached out to turn off the radio.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt—” I said quickly.

“Mr. Terrance,” one of the older women said, standing up to shake my hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. We’ve been hearing about your arrival today. I’m Grace, the housekeeping manager.”

“Nice to meet you, Grace,” I said.

“Is there something wrong, sir? Is the suite not to your liking? We can send anything up, at any time—”

“Call me Adrian—everyone in this room can just call me Adrian. And no, the suite is perfect.”

Grace smiled at me. Her cheeks had a little too much blush on them, and her graying hair was beginning to fall out of its bun, but she still looked elegant, somehow. She had to be about my mother’s age, but there was a world of difference between the two. Where my mother was sharp and stern, Grace seemed warm and kind.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” she said. “Josh worked very hard on it earlier.”

I smiled and nodded, then went around to everyone in the room, shaking all of their hands and learning their names. I hoped to God I could remember them. I made a mental note to ask Mason for a staff directory later so that I could study.

When I got to the last woman, Martha, who was telling me about her son that went to Grandview Prep, the door to the lounge opened.

I turned quickly to politely smile at the guy who’d come in, then immediately turned back to Martha.

But… that face. Why did I know that face?

When Martha had finished her story, I turned again to look at him—he was facing the other direction now, rummaging in a bag, and all I could see was his back. He was tall, and had tousled dark hair.

Who did he remind me of? I felt as if I was stuck in the worst nostalgic deja vu I’d ever experienced.

I found myself staring at him even as Mason began to talk to me again.

“Well, Mr. Ter—I mean, Adrian—should we continue on with the tour?”

For a moment I didn’t register what he’d said. Because when the dark-haired man turned around again, Grace said something that made all the blood drain from my body.

“Josh Crane, never thought I’d see the day when you’d be eating a home cooked meal at lunch!”

Josh Crane.

Josh fucking turned-my-world-upside-down Crane? It couldn’t be him—it couldn’t possibly be. Working in my parents’ hotel, as a housekeeper, ten years after my mother had sworn never to let him step foot in here again.

But... I knew my mom hadn’t ever caught a glimpse of his face that night. She’d tried and failed to ask me who it was. And no matter how unbelievable it seemed, deep in my bones, I knew that there was no question.

It was him. I couldn’t forget those stormy grey-blue eyes for the rest of my life. He had lost all of the gangly awkwardness of his teen years and grown into a truly handsome man—he was a little rough around the edges, with a scar along his upper arm and a few visible tattoos—but he was stunning.

And it was making the inside of my stomach tie itself into a thousand knots.

Mason must have seen me staring, because immediately he smacked himself on the forehead, shaking his head. “So sorry, Adrian. I should have introduced you. This is Josh Crane, another of our housekeepers. He’s personally taking care of your suite.”

Then Josh finally looked my way, staring me right in the eyes. “Uh—it’s nice to meet you, Adrian—,” he said, holding out his hand to mine.

And as he reached out, his arm grazed a mop and bucket leaning against the wall, and the pole came careening forward, knocking me right in the skull. A little bit of the cleaning solution splashed up out of the bucket and onto my pants.

“Oh my God—fuck, I’m so sorry,” Josh was saying, putting the mop back in place. “Let me get you some ice—”

I held my hand up to my forehead. “I’m fine, I promise,” I said, waving him off. “No ice necessary.”

“And your suit—Jesus, that probably costs more than three months rent for me—” Josh said, reaching to grab a clean rag from a shelf and dropping to his knees, wiping my pant leg dry.

Christ. If my stomach hadn’t been in knots already, it certainly was now, seeing Josh kneeling at my feet like that.

This was bad. This was very, very, bad.

I felt as if my insides had shattered and reformed five times over the last few minutes.

Every feeling I’d buried deep inside me had been dug out like a nasty set of splinters. The immense sense of loss and defeat I’d felt when Josh had run away on the night of my going away party. The deep guilt at having lied to my mother about whose idea the kisses had been. The weeks afterward, when I’d felt lost and dizzy, able to think of nothing but Josh’s lips and his touch, wondering what was wrong with me. The entire set of years afterward, when I’d tried and tried so hard to date so many women, but felt that something was missing.

And how even when I started to hook up with men, they’d never been what I actually wanted, what I was endlessly searching for.

Because he was right here. In my hotel. At my feet.

But I wasn’t eighteen anymore. If I’d learned anything in the past ten years, it was that just because I might want someone or something didn’t mean I should have it. I hurt everyone I was close to, and Josh was one of the first people I had hurt, so long ago.

I couldn’t do that again. Josh deserved better.

I wanted to talk to him, to apologize until I was blue in the face, to find out who he was now—the man he had grown into. I wanted to know if his lips still felt as soft as they had when we were kids, wanted to feel his body against mine again.

But I wouldn’t. I knew that I had to stay as far away from him as I possibly could.