Kristel

 

The silence that fills the room is heavy. I feel like I’m being compressed, and I’m glad I’m already on the floor or I might have fallen. My mind goes blank, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Why, of all days, is he asking me this now? I can’t think. I can’t even move.

 

“Andre… I don’t know.”

 

“Do you love me?”

 

“Yes.” That answer comes quickly and without hesitation.

 

“Then what else is there to know?”

 

“I don’t know!” I put my face into my hands and press my forehead to his chest. My fingers clench in his shirt. “Why do you have to ask me this now, of all times? Couldn’t you have waited? Just a little longer?”

 

“Why? Why wait? What is there to wait for? What are you afraid of, Kristel? It’s just you and me, and hell… we’re going to have a baby together. Look at everything else we’ve been through. Fucking hell and back. So I want to know… what, exactly, don’t you know?”

 

“I just don’t!” With a loud sigh, I throw my hands up and give him a helpless look. “You want me to go through all of this shit and get engaged in a single day?”

 

“Yes.” He nods and gives me a serious look. “Yes, I do. Because today is a day I wish was over. It’s fucked up and it’s unfair and horrible things keep happening. But we can change that. Kristel, I want to marry you, and it’s not just because today has been shit. It’s because I love you. I would lay my life down for you without a moment of thought, and I trust you more than I trust the rest of my crew, even though I feel like I still barely know you. I don’t know what your favorite food is or what your favorite color is. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I gave a shit about any of that until now. I don’t know who your real friends, are or how you see the world, or even why you’re going to college. I don’t know anything about what you want to do with your life,or if you have anything planned for it at all. But Ido know that I love you. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, marry me, Kristel Bryce. I don’t even care if you keep your last name. But marry me.”

 

I feel scattered and dumbfounded. This proposal has come out of nowhere, much like everything else has over the last several weeks. I’ve always known Andre to be a straight forward man who dislikes impulse, but maybe some of my spontaneity has rubbed off on him. I know that, because of him, I’m more clear-headed now than I ever have been before.

 

“This is so crazy… absolutely insane…”

 

“So was the woman who walked into a bar that night. Remember the one who wanted to show her parents that she could take care of herself? The one who wanted to be a rebel and get back at her mom and dad because they were being overbearing idiots? The one who has been carrying a baby, going to college, and dealing with biker shit for months without a single complaint. You’re tough and you’re beautiful… and just say fucking yes.”

 

My heart pounds so hard in my chest that I can feel it in my throat. All I can think about is my father, but before I can respond to Andre, my phone rings. I glance at it automatically and see my mother’s phone number. She couldn’t be calling at a worse time.

 

“Shit.” With a thick swallow, I close my eyes and nod. “Please just… let me think about it. I can’t do this right now.” I try to move away from him again, but he holds onto me and shakes his head. As I give him a quick smile, I answer my phone. “Hello? Mom?”

 

“Kristel! Oh my God, where are you?” She sounds panicked, but I don’t hear any traffic.

 

“I’m safe. I’m okay.”

 

“Are you back at the house?”

 

“No, but I’m okay. Are you?”

 

“Yes.” There is a short pause. “But your father…”

 

I glance toward the floor and draw in a hard swallow. “He’s dead, isn’t he?”

 

She starts to sob, and I can’t hear what she’s trying to say to me over the phone. This goes on for several minutes until she finally says something that I can understand: “He’s dead, honey. He’s gone. They killed him.”

 

“I know, Mom.” My voice is very soft, and I grip Andre’s hand. “I saw what happened.”

 

“I need you to come home, Kristel. Please. Come home.”

 

“I can’t.” The words come before I have a chance to think about them. “I’m sorry, Mom, I can’t come home.”

 

“You’re with him. Aren’t you? You’re with that murderer! How fucking dare you choose him over your own family!”

 

I gasp in shock as my mother swears. Never in my life have I heard her speak a word of profanity. It ignites a burst of anger within me, and I grip the phone hard. “I am with my family now! All you and Dad ever did was stifle me and hold me back!”

 

Without another word, I end the call. My body trembles, and I stare down at the phone as though it’s going to jump up and hurt me.

 

“I seriously can’t believe that just happened.” I look at him. “What did I just do?”

 

“You picked your family.”

 

My eyes lower to the phone before they slowly look back at him. I feel sick on the inside, but a weight has lifted off my shoulders. For months, I have felt pulled in so many directions that I thought I would be torn apart, but now everything is so clear. I know what I have to do.

 

“Yes.” The word is barely there, a whisper from my lips.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yes. I’ll marry you, Andre.”

 

“You’ll…” He drifts off and stares at me. “You will?”

 

“I will.” The tears still fresh in my eyes, stinging, I press my mouth to his. When he slides his mouth across mine, a few of those tears slide down my face even though I want to will them away. I feel as though the only thing I’ve been doing these last few days is crying, and it makes me feel like a weakling. It makes me feel ashamed that I can’t control my emotions.

 

Andre seems to sense something is wrong because he draws back and uses his thumb to gently wipe away my tears. “What is it?”

 

With a hard swallow, I just shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. All I want to do, right now, is kiss you. I choose you, Andre. Only you. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.” My own words send a shiver down my spine, and I kiss him deeply, heavily. His lips feel confident and warm, and my arms slide around the back of his neck and hang on. My eyes close, squeezing shut to stop the tears. My emotions tug me in every direction simultaneously, and it’s all I can do to sort them out. Fingernails dig into the back of his neck and scalp, the events of the day repeating themselves over and over in my mind. It’s like a nightmare and a dream come true at the same time. I’m trapped in the middle of all of it, and so I have turned to the safest person in my world: Andre.

 

He doesn’t push me away, and when he kisses me back, it’s with a deep and heavy passion. His hands are quick to strip me of my clothing, and, before I know it, there is nothing but air between us. I still have no idea how he can remove our clothes so quickly, but there is no time to dwell on it.

 

With a low grunt, he stands up and brings me with him. I hop up and wrap my thighs around his hips while my arms close around his shoulders. My fingers are still in his hair, and I moan as our tongues tangle together. It feels as though it has been so long since our bodies touched like this. My nerves vibrate and flutter beneath my skin, and I can barely remember how to breathe. I don’t realize we’re moving until I feel my back against the wall, and a whimper rises from my throat. A second one follows, and then a third as my hips rock against his body. His fingers slide against my hot sex, and I grip his face as I kiss him with even more ferocity. My jaw relaxes and my lips part more, and the sensation of his tongue against my gums and my teeth has me glad I’m not still on my feet. Every joint in my body feels like rubber, and my muscles are weak. The only thing that prevents me from collapsing to the floor is him.

 

His fingers slide in deeper, and one of them strokes across my clit. Once he locates that tender bundle of nerves, he continues to pet it and rub it. Vibrations of heat rush through my body and make my toes curl. Our kiss slows down, and I can feel every part of his sticky, hot body against mine.

 

But, oh, those fingers. As they dance and slide against me, my mind turns to mush. My hands go from around his neck to his shoulders before they glide across his chest. I pinch at his nipples to make him gasp, and a smile comes to my mouth. My lips caress across his skin to the lobe of an ear, and I suck on it hard and slow. His skin shivers under my touch, and my nails rake down his sides and then back up again. I bite down on that ear lobe and slide my tongue across it before I lick and kiss along the outer shell. He moans low in his throat, almost a growl, and slides fingers deeper into my folds. I grind my hips against him and press our nipples together. Hard like pebbles, they scrape against each other and send an electric zing through my system.

 

“I love you,” I breathe across his ear. “Fuck, I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.” He sounds as breathless as me, and I hear it as one of his hands pumps his cock.

 

My arousal heightens, and all I want right now is my mouth around his length. I wiggle my way out of his grip and drop down to my knees. With my back still against the wall and his body towering over me, I feel both small and powerful at the same time. He may be bigger than I am, but when he stares down at me with lust in his eyes, I know that I have all of his attention. There is no one else in this world he wants more than me right now. My mouth curves into a slow grin, and I slide my mouth over the head of his cock. I don’t even care how it tastes. The only thing that matters is his response.