BETH
I could feel Dr. Wilkins’s glare burning my skin when Brittany and I walked through the ER together. Maybe it was the purple highlights in her hair that offended him. Maybe it was just my existence that seemed to piss the guy off. Who knew with him. The only thing I knew for sure was that I would have a full shift of him coming my way, and if he was already in a mood, the next eight hours would crawl by.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” I asked Brittany as we reached the elevators that would take her up to the professional offices. We’d already dropped Maddie off at the day care, I only needed to get Brittany to her appointment then I could get to work.
“Yeah. I’m fine, Beth. I’m sure it’s nothing, I’ll tell you about it later, okay?”
I wrapped my arms around her to give her a hug, and noticed her wince as she pulled away. Upon further study, I noticed a light blue bruise, nearly faded away already, on her jaw. “What the fuck is that?” I asked, grabbing her chin and jerking it to the side.
She peeled my hand away from her face and gave me a wary smile. “It’s okay. Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“Nothing? Where are you headed anyway? X-ray?” I demanded to know, blocking her from pressing the elevator call button.
“Why would I—”
“Your ribs. When I just hugged you it hurt. I should have noticed it more last night. You moved real slow, but I just figured you were tired. And then Rafe showed up and everything went to hell.” I knew Dr. Wilkins was still watching us, but it didn’t matter. When he moved to a nurses’ station closer to us, I lowered my voice to keep him from over hearing. “Did Tommy do this?” I pointed to her ribs.
“No. I haven’t seen him in weeks.” She pushed her hair back behind her ear and sighed. “Please, can we just leave it alone? I’m not going to see the guy again, I swear. I broke it off with him after this.” She pointed to her jaw.
“The ribs are new.” I pointed out.
“He didn’t like being broken up with.” She shrugged with a weak smile. “Please. I don’t want you to do anything, or say anything to Chrissy. She thinks I’m just having a pap today, okay.”
“You didn’t tell her?” My eyes widened. They were twins. More than that, they were best friends. “Brittany.”
“Please just leave it alone. My appointment is in five minutes; I have to go.” She reached around me and pushed the call button. I didn’t have much of a choice but to let her go.
“You swear he’s gone?”
“I swear.” She nodded.
“Tell me who.” I folded my arms across my chest, nearly squishing my lunch.
“No. I just want to forget it and him.”
The elevator rang its arrival and the doors slid open. She jumped in and hit the buttons, looking very much like a guilty woman trying to get away. “Okay.” I dropped my hands to my side.
“I meant what I said last night about Rafe. You don’t need that garbage, okay? You need to hook up with one of these doctors, not some biker asshat.” Before I could respond, the doors shut, ending the conversation. Since when was Brittany so against the Anarchy’s Reign? She dated one a little while back and didn’t seem to have any diversion to the club after that.
“Considering you are already in the facility, Beth, I wondered if you might actually start working your shift.” Dr. Wilkins arrogant voice rang out from behind me. I turned, trying not shoot daggers at him with my eyes. “The employee locker room is that way.” He pointed to the hall off to the right of where I stood.
Without saying another word, I headed down the hall toward the lockers. I managed to make it all the way to the lounge before calling him a few names.
***
Another long shift behind me, I carried Madison out to the parking lot. The daycare in the hospital saved my ass more times than I could count. Mrs. Olsen couldn’t always take care of Maddie and having the daycare center was a great back up. Costly, but still better than leaving her with someone I didn’t know or at some of the trashy centers in town.
My feet burned from the ten hours I stood on them. I wanted a hot bath and an extra-large glass of wine. I assisted with two small procedures in the trauma room, and had to deal with more than two dozen drunk college kids who couldn’t hold their damn beer. Who thought of a kegger in the morning?
I walked up to the spot I had parked my car and found it empty. Thinking my fried brain must have remembered wrong, I turned one way then the other looking for it. It couldn’t’ have been stolen. Who would want to rip off that piece of junk?
Madison stirred in my arms. “Mama?” She rubbed her eyes and climbed down from my arms. “I wanna go home,” she whined.
“I do too, baby.” I gripped her hand to keep her from wandering off through the half-filled lot and looked around more. “Where the hell is the car?”
“You ladies need a ride?” Rafe’s voice surprised me from behind and I spun around to see him sitting behind the wheel of a black Ultima.
“Mama lost the car,” Madison yelled over at him.
“I did not lose the car, Madison.” I laughed. “It’s…well…misplaced.” I looked back at where I would have sworn I parked it.
I moved us to the side as he pulled the car into the spot and got out of the car. His muscles were even more evident with the black t-shirt he wore. The sleeves were shorter than he usually wore, and he looked more dangerous in the black color. As usual, his kutte was perfectly in place.
“Your mama didn’t lose the car.” He picked Madison up and tossed her in the air before catching her and putting her on his hip. It was nice to see her cling to him with so much trust, but a part of me worried about her attachment to him. “I stole it.” He gave her a toothy grin.
“You stole my car?”
“Well, replaced. I replaced that death trap with this car.” He nodded toward the Ultima in front of us.
“You got me a car?” I couldn’t do anything other than stare blankly at him. Most guys brought flowers when they were trying to impress a girl. Rafe brought a fucking car.
“Not really. The garage has older cars we fixed up to sell but haven’t moved. This is one of those, so I guess the club got you a car.”
“I don’t want it.” I crossed my arms over my chest. It was bad enough that he had practically moved into my house. My daughter was starting to fall for him, and now he got rid of my car. My car! The one thing I owned outright after scraping together the money from nearly six months of double shifts.
“What?” He slid Madison down his body and held her hand as she stood next to him.
“I don’t want some stolen car from the club. Take it back.” Close enough to the truth. I didn’t need the drama his club brought with him. He could pretend Anarchy’s Reign was just a good group of misfits that hung out fixing up old cars all day, but I knew better. The whole town knew better.
“It’s not stolen.”
“If it’s from your club, I don’t know that.”
“I’m telling you, it’s legit. The garage is a legit business. We bought the car as a trade in. I rebuilt the engine myself. It’s a solid car, and completely legal.” His voice sounded forced, and the wide smile he had a moment ago was in danger of slipping into a scowl. “This is your car now. That piece of shit you had before is gone.”
“Can you watch your mouth?” I shot at him. That car, as crappy as it was, was mine. I bought it, with my money. Now he took it away and replaced it without even asking me.
“Maybe we should talk about this at home, after Madison’s in bed.” His eyes narrowed, and the threat wasn’t lost on me. The only talking he’d want to do with Madison in bed would probably involve his hand and my bare ass.
“Mama, it’s a nice car.” Madison smiled up at. “I bet the cool air works in this one.” She let go of his hand and ran over to the car, jumping up and down to see in the window.
“I don’t need you to do things like this.” I dropped my hands to my side. Knowing the battle was good and lost. “It’s legal?”
“If you ask me that again, I’m going to feel offended, and if I feel offended, we are going to have an issue.” He stepped closer to me. The man smelled of power, and looked like sex. Not exactly an easy trait to go up against. “Do we have an issue, Beth?” The question wasn’t posed in such a way that any answer I gave other than the one he wanted would be acceptable.
“So…totally legal, then. Got it.” I took a step to the side and made my way to Madison before he could reach out and grab me. The grin on his lips countered the low growl he let out when he didn’t get his hands on me in time. “Let’s get in and go home.” I opened the back door and was only partially surprised to find a brand new booster seat for Madison already installed. “What was wrong with the old one?” I asked while I helped her get situated.
“I liked this one better.” He popped my ass while I was bent over buckling Madison and then opened the front passenger door. “Come on, get in.”
“I don’t even get to drive?” I made a face as I tossed my purse onto the floor of the front seat. I had to admit the cushions on the seats felt good. My car really had been on its last legs. The car even had the new car smell I’d heard so much about, but never truly experienced.
“Not when I’m in the car.” He laughed and shut my door. I watched him round the front of the car. When he sat down, I noticed his gun tucked under his kutte. A reminder of the sort of life he led, and the sort of life I needed to be better about protecting Maddie and me from.
“I’m tired anyway. I just want to sleep forever.” I leaned my head back against the headrest and took a deep breath.
“I’ll grab us a pizza on the way home, then.” He started up the car, and I had to admit it was nice to hear a soft hum as opposed to the sputtering cough my old engine produced.
“You don’t have to do that,” I found myself saying again.
“Madison, you want cheese pizza?”
“Yeah!” She clapped her hands. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. He laughed and put the car in gear.
“Rough day?” he asked after a few minutes of driving in silence. The sun had already begun to set and a light drizzle started to fall. It would make the perfect night to veg out on the couch and watch a movie. Maybe a bowl of popcorn. I wondered if Rafe was a chick flick tolerant kind of guy, or would he insist on some violent crap that would keep me up all night worrying.
“Yeah. A bunch of college kids decided to have a kegger this morning. Twelve of them ended up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Apparently it’s best to chase down a shot of tequila with a full mug of beer.”
“Stupid kids.” He laughed. “Like they would even have the tolerance to get through one round of that crap.”
“Yeah, and it’s stupid for adults, too.” I gave him a pointed look.
His grin showed his playful side, and the little creases around his mouth when he smiled only made him look more boyish than devil. “I don’t do tequila. And getting shit faced lost its appeal years ago.” I supposed that was a good thing. Jeremy loved his beer, and he never passed up an opportunity to hang with his friends at the bar all night long. One too many times I had to explain to Maddie why Daddy was sleeping on the front lawn instead of inside the house. Apparently, his friends were kind enough to take him home, but not bring him inside.
“Mouth.” I nodded toward Madison in the back seat. She’d already fallen asleep. “The daycare said she didn’t nap well today, she’s probably exhausted. I don’t like keeping her at the center this late, but Mrs. Olsen couldn’t take her today.”
“You could have asked me,” he pointed out.
“Yeah. Uh. No. Besides, weren’t busy today?”
“Sort of. I worked a little at the garage.” He cleared his throat and readjusted himself in the seat, like he couldn’t get comfortable. How could he, the man was a mammoth and the seat in the Ulitma looked almost puny in comparison to his build.
We pulled up to a red light, and he looked over at me with a serious expression. “One of the members died last night.”
My heart sank. “Died, or was killed?” I clarified in a soft voice.
“Killed.” Flat answer. At least he was being honest with me.
“Is it connected to your friend?” Drama. More and more drama. How many more red flags did I need before I got my head out of my ass and ran for the hills?
“Jason? I think so.” He nodded. “Jason was pretty close with Tristan. Sort of saw him as a little brother.”
“And you were close to Jason.” My head swarmed with worries and alarms. If his friends were being killed one by one, who was to say he wouldn’t be next. And if he was next, having him with us put us in danger, too. He kept telling me that I was safe with him, that he would protect us, but if he was the target, how could he think to do that?
I looked back at my little girl sleeping in her new car seat. How can I keep her safe when I was sleeping with the VP of Anarchy’s Reign?
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” He drove through the intersection. The rain started to come down a little harder, so he flipped on the wipers and pulled up to another red light.
“How do you know—” I was cut off by a loud popping sound and my window shattering. Glass poured over my lap, Madison woke up and started screaming.
Rafe cursed and peeled out of the intersection, wheels squealing as he drove us away from whoever broke my window. “Fuck. Babe, you okay?” He turned to look at me then back to the road, and then over his shoulder.
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into the back seat to get to Madison. She wasn’t hurt, but she was still screaming. I unbuckled her and pulled her into my lap. “Shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s fine.” I hugged her to me and rocked back and forth as Rafe took a turn too sharp and we rolled against the door.
“You’re bleeding, Mama!” Madison wiped her eyes then pointed at my cheek.
“What?” Rafe looked back at us and cursed again. “We’re almost there. Hold on.” I looked out the back window and didn’t see anyone behind us; whoever had blown out my window wasn’t following us.
“I’m fine, baby girl. Let’s just get home and we can order that pizza, okay?” I could feel the sting start to turn into a slow burn on the side of my face, but I didn’t dare reach up to touch it. Better to leave it alone until I could see clearly what sort of mess I was dealing with. Instead I focused on Maddie, wiping away her tears and snuggling her closer to me. “I heard that you had a brownie for snack time today.”
“Yeah. It was Jacob’s birthday.” She took to the change topic easily and went on to tell me all about the birthday song, and how Jacob got to wear the birthday crown. By the time she was finished telling me everything Rafe had us parked in my driveway.
The door swung open and Rafe pulled Madison from my arms before yanking on my arm to help me out of the car. His rough hand cupped my face, turning it one way then the other and giving me a scowl. “Let’s get inside.” He lowered his voice, deeper than I’d heard him use before. If he was mad at me, he could go fuck himself.
Once inside he put Madison on the couch and flipped on the television. “Bathroom.” He pointed his finger at the hallway, like I needed him to direct me where to go. My face was on fire; the blood had already begun to drip on to my shoulder. Another set of scrubs ruined!
I flipped on the light and stepped up to the mirror. Turning my face to one side I could easily make out the ugly gash on the side of my face. Right in front of my ear, about an inch long, the open wound was already starting to slow bleeding.
“Let me see.” Rafe burst into the bathroom and spun me around.
“Stop manhandling me like I’m some thug. I didn’t do anything. I was just sitting in my damn seat.” I tried to shove his hands away but he wouldn’t be stopped.
“Do you think you’ll need stitches? Should we go back to the hospital?”
“No. Now let me go.” I shoved him gain and he dropped his hands. “I’m just going to clean it up and use those butterfly Band-Aids. Like I did on your shoulder.” I jabbed my finger into his shoulder and finding myself disappointed that he didn’t even wince at the discomfort.
I gathered up my supplies and began working. He watched me in the mirror and I had to stop him from getting in my way several times. “Let me help,” he insisted, tearing the cotton ball from my hand. “You can’t even see the damn thing.” He poured more antiseptic on the cotton and began to dab at the wound in the same way I had been. “There’s no glass.” He answered my question before I could ask.
“Rafe.” I held up the Band-Aids for him. “Were we just shot at?” I asked with a heavy feeling in my stomach, already knowing the answer. Everything was about to get worse once he answered the question. Because I knew the answer, and I knew what it meant for me and Maddie.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.” He answered softly. Like he knew, too, what that meant for us. He took the Band-Aids and began to apply them like I told him to. I didn’t pull away when it hurt, instead I focused on the pain. Physical pain I could deal with; it was easy to get through. Mind over matter, but when it came to emotional hurt, that was harder, and I didn’t want to feel that yet.
“What’s going on?” I finally asked when he finished patching me up. I didn’t look at him, couldn’t bring myself to see him yet. Instead, I focused on cleaning up the mess in the bathroom. “Is it because of Jason? Because you’re trying to find his killer?”
He leaned against the counter and dragged both hands through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe.” I looked up at him and saw the worry in his face as he looked at me. “Your face.” He said in a tormented tone and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly to him. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“No.” I mumbled into his chest. His arms trapped me, but I wasn’t ready to struggle for my freedom quite yet.
“I’m going to find who did this, and he’s fucking dead.” The vow was spoken in a deep growl. It sounded as though it came from someone else, someone not holding me so tenderly.
“Rafe. It’s your vengeance that’s making this all worse.” I did push away from him then to look at him. “An eye for an eye doesn’t work. It only leads to a bunch of blind men running around.”
“I’m not going to let whoever did this get away with it.” His brows nearly connected his scowl was so deep.
I took a deep breath. “Rafe.” Tears began to puddle in my eyes and I had to look away to get my nerve back up. “Rafe, you can’t be here. You can’t be around us. Not while you’re on this revenge mission.”
“Beth—”
“We were shot at, Rafe! Look at my face.” I pointed to the bandages now covering up part of my cheek. “My little girl was in the car!” The more I thought about the danger she’d been in the hotter my blood began to run. “I never should have let you come here. I should have just left you alone in the hospital.” I shook my head and took a step back from him until my back was pressed against the wall.
“I told you I would protect you.” His hands fisted at his sides.
“You can’t protect us from bullets, Rafe. What if that glass had cut up Maddie? What if the bullet had actually hit one of us?” I covered my mouth at the mental image of my daughter hurt by flying glass or worse a stray bullet.
“You are safer with me than without me,” he said in a hard tone. “That’s the truth of it. And maybe you should have left me in the hospital. Maybe you shouldn’t have gone in that back room with me to begin with, but you did. So now you’re stuck with me, Beth. You don’t say when this is done. You don’t say when you’re done with me.”
“Fuck you!” I slapped at his chest. It was hard enough to make the decision to get him out of our lives. “You can’t be this asshole. Don’t be this asshole.”
“When this is all over, when the fuckers are caught and dead, and you’re safe again, then you can decide to throw me out or now, but not right now. Not when you need me, not when I need you.” He reached for me, pulling me to him even as I tried to shove him away.
His captured my chin in one hand and before I could stop him, before I could think to jump away, his lips crashed down on mine. The touch I needed at that moment, the electrical heat of his body pressed against mine, making me forget my fears and my protests.
I parted my lips at his command, and his tongue brushed against mine. His hands moved to my shoulders, holding me to him as he deepened the kiss. My insides melted against him, my body wanted his touch, craved it even while my brain tried to tell me to get away from him.
“You’re dangerous,” I whispered against his lips when he released me. “Too dangerous.”
“Let me keep you safe, then you can kick me out of your life. But not until I know your safe.” He wiped a tear that had fallen from my cheek. It hurt, and the burn in my chest increased. With regret? With hope? I wasn’t sure, but I did know that he wasn’t going to leave. He wouldn’t just leave us, not when he thought we were in danger. I both loathed and loved him for it.
Loved him? Could I love someone as dangerous and stubborn as him? Madison could have been killed, I could have been killed. That should have been a huge warning sign. A neon flashing light screaming at me to put Madison in the car and haul our asses out of town. But the way he looked at me, the gentle, firm way he held me, made me start to think he could do what he vowed. He could keep us safe.
“Mama?” Madison’s little voice interrupted our stare down. “Mama. After our pizza, can I sleep with you tonight?”
Rafe released me so I could scoop her up. “You bet you can.” I hugged her tight, giving Rafe one more glance before I headed out of the bathroom. “Rafe can sleep on the couch.” I called over my shoulder so he would hear me.