RAFE
Sue Ellen would be lucky if she sat down within a few days after Silver dealt with her damn gossiping again. I should have considered myself lucky she only told Beth about the whores. There were plenty of other things I’d done while in the MC that would have sent Beth running if she knew them.
Walking up the pathway to Jason’s front door, I gripped Beth’s hand in mine. Other than a few words after his funeral, Stephanie hadn’t spoken to me at all. We’d never agreed on a lot of things, mostly Jason’s dedication to the club, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care for her like a sister. Jason loved her more than anything, and he would have given up the club for her if she had asked. Her not asking him to leave the club was what made me feel as much respect for her as I did. She knew he loved it, knew he would be lost without it, so she didn’t take him from it, but did keep as far from the club as she herself could.
I couldn’t really fault her for that. Jason had met Stephanie through her younger brother, who was a patched member before Jason took the president chair. Unfortunately, Christian was killed in that debacle of a job with Javier. She never stepped foot in the clubhouse again. She remained friends with the girls, but she wouldn’t go to the clubhouse.
I rang the doorbell and shifted my shoulders, straightening my kutte.
“It’ll be okay,” Beth whispered just before the door swung open.
Stephanie stood before us, glaring. Her midnight black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, exposing her flawlessly pale skin. Dark eyeliner outlined her stark blue eyes that were fixed on me with what I can only describe as a death stare.
“What do you want?” The blank tank top slid up her flat stomach when she folded her arms under her breasts, shoving them further up. Jason had always been a boob man.
“Hey, Steph. I wanted to check with you, see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine.” She looked at Beth. “Who’s this?”
Beth’s hand gripped mine a little harder at Stephanie’s obvious appraisal of her. “I’m Beth.” Her voice held steady.
“Got an old lady now?” Stephanie’s eyes were back on me, trying burn through me.
“She’s my girl. Can we come in?” I looked past her into the darkened house. Only a single light in the kitchen was on.
“What for?”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Beth let go of my hand and stepped forward, standing between the two of us. “We were just at Tristan’s wake and some of the other guys were concerned about you. Rafe’s concerned. He wanted to see how you were doing. That’s all.”
Stephanie looked over her shoulder at me, some of the anger in her eyes started to soften. “Fine.” She moved to the side and let us enter. “I was just going to make some coffee.” She left the door open as she led Beth toward the kitchen. I closed it and locked it before I followed, taking a look around as I did.
Stephanie worked as a hairdresser, her salon was attached to the house in the back. Jason and I had built it for her birthday one year. She typically kept the house immaculate since most of her customers ended up wandering through it while waiting. That didn’t seem to be the case at the moment. Laundry baskets were randomly placed throughout the first floor, some filled with folded clothes others unfolded, scrunched up laundry.
The smell of coffee filled the kitchen as we entered it. “You want a cup?” She looked at Beth.
“Uh, sure.” Beth gave me a look that seemed to tell me to sit down and be quiet. I didn’t like it, but since she seemed to be getting through to Stephanie, I’d let her take the lead for the moment.
“How long have you known him?” Stephanie poured the warm brew into two mugs. “Couldn’t be that long. Jason would have mentioned if he stuck with one girl for more than one night.”
As a jab at me, it was pretty weak. She wasn’t lying or even exaggerating, and suddenly I was grateful for Sue Ellen having already opened that can of worms.
“No, just a few weeks. I met him right before your husband passed away.” Beth broached the topic of Jason’s death with a soft tone.
“Passed away?” Stephanie put the coffee pot back in the maker a little harder than necessary and glared at me. “Is that what you told her? That he passed away? Not that he was shot down in cold blood?”
“She’s aware of how he died, Steph. She’s trying to be polite.” I didn’t hide my irritation. Her anger at me needed to go away. I didn’t kill him. I loved him like a brother, and if she would stop being so damn irrational, she’d have a whole fucking family to stand behind her while she grieved. But instead she turned her back on us. Again.
“So you told her everything, did you?”
“Stephanie…”
“How are you holding up? It must be hard trying to go through this alone.” Beth ignored the tension between the two of us and started spooning sugar into her coffee. I didn’t have her pegged for a sugar feign, but by the time she finished, there was probably more sugar in her cup than coffee.
“I’m not alone. Well, I wasn’t. My mom and sister were here, but they had to go back to Tennessee. They left this morning.” Stephanie picked up her mug and leaned against the counter. “I heard about Tristan. I’m sure everyone’s pissed I wasn’t there tonight.”
“No. I think they understood,” Beth answered before I could open my mouth. “But they did seem concerned. The guy with the blond hair, what’s his name?”
“Gray?” Stephanie’s eyes narrowed at the mention of his name. The one issue Stephanie and I completely agreed on was Gray.
“Yeah, that guy. He sort of reminds of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, have you seen those reruns on TV?” Beth smiled. “I know they’re a little old and out dated, but that guy is still pretty hot. But Gray, well, I guess other than the hair, maybe not.” She bit her lip trying not to laugh.
Stephanie cracked a smile. “Yeah, I know who you’re talking about. I thought he looked more like that zombie guy on iZombie, the bad one?”
“Oh yeah, he does. Except Gray’s teeth sort of ruin the look.” Beth laughed along with Stephanie. I should have known she could get Stephanie to relax. The woman had a way about her that could put anyone at ease. “Anyway, he was worried that you wouldn’t take the pay you had coming to you?”
Stephanie’s smile dropped a little when she nodded. “I don’t need their blood money. I can make it on my own. Once I get the shop re-opened, I’ll be fine.”
“What shop?”
“My hair salon. It’s right through there.” She pointed to the door leading to the back room. “I’ll reopen in a week or two. Right now I just needed to be alone.”
“Well, you aren’t alone.” Beth put her cup down. “You have us. You have those girls at the club. Sue Ellen is worried.”
“I should call her. But I don’t want Jason’s pay. It’s dirty money.” Stephanie turned her gaze back on me.
“It’s not dirty money, Steph. It’s the money he would have earned from the garage. It’s his paycheck. Taxes are paid and everything. Completely legal.”
“Legal? You call anything you guys do over there legal?” Her hands were back to being balled up on her hips.
“It sounds like a payroll check,” Beth chimed in, again trying to soothe down Stephanie’s flames.
“Payroll.” Steph snorted. “You tell her everything, Rafe? You tell her all of the shit you guys do over there to make money? No way that garage brings in enough money to pay Jason that much money.” She turned to Beth. “His paycheck is two grand a week. Two grand! No garage makes that much money to pay one of the employees nearly ten grand a month. No garage.”
“Jason wasn’t an employee; he was part owner. And the fucking president.” I stood up from the table.
“Yeah. And how many gun runs did he oversee to make that fucking money? How many times did you all get together to move guns over state lines and into the hands of kids?” Her anger was back in full steam and solely trained on me.
“Jason told you—”
“Jason told me what he needed to keep me out of his hair about the fucking club. I loved that man, Rafe. I loved him so much that I couldn’t bring myself to tear him away from the fucking club because I knew how much it meant to him. How much you meant to him.” Tears shimmered in her blue eyes, but I didn’t make a move toward her. Sympathy would only fuel her more.
“He didn’t choose the club over you, Steph.”
“I know that.” She spat at me then turned to Beth. “You need to get away from him.” She pointed to me with a new venom in her voice. “He will suck you in, and everything you know to be wrong in the world will soon be the things you pretend are okay. You start turning a blind eye when he comes home with blood soaked through his jeans. Or new tears in his leathers from where a bullet grazed him. You start rationalizing the times he kills someone.”
“Kills someone?” Beth looked at me briefly but then focused on Stephanie, her shoulders back and her chin thrust forward. “What are you talking about?”
“He doesn’t tell you everything. He never will. There will always be secrets, things he can’t tell you. Or just won’t tell you. Like when he’s gone for three days on a run but you don’t know where he went, who he was with or if he’s coming back alive. That club got my brother killed, then they got my husband killed. And they don’t even fucking know who did it. Gray isn’t looking into it. He said it was a random hit. Someone trying to break into the warehouse.”
“What?” I stepped forward. “Break into the warehouse? It’s been empty for months. There’s nothing there, and that fucker didn’t stop to try the doors.” My blood started pumping harder and I could hear my own heart beat in my ears.
“What happened to your brother?” Beth asked in a quiet voice.
“He went on a run with the club. I don’t know who was all involved. Only that it had to do with some new business. Rafe knows what happened, but he won’t tell me. Jason wouldn’t tell me. My little brother was shot in the head. We couldn’t even have an open casket at his funeral, but no one will tell me what happened. That’s the life you’re getting yourself into.” Tears streaked down her face. I wish I could have held her to make her feel better, but the comfort she needed couldn’t come from me. She still saw me as the enemy.
Christian had taken a bullet through his forehead. A point blank shot when the drug deal between Javier and his business associates had gone bad. I couldn’t tell her. If Jason didn’t want her knowing, she wouldn’t know. But I saw the raw pain in her eyes and I understood. She would never forgive the club for letting both her brother and husband die, and I couldn’t rightly blame her at that moment. Standing in her kitchen, remembering the times Jason would be sitting there drinking a beer and making her laugh…all of those memories were gone, he’d never be there again. She was alone, no brother and no husband. And all because of the club. I got it, but she still needed our help.
“Stephanie. I’ll have the money deposited in your checking account. You don’t ever need see Gray again. Or I can stop by with the check every week. Just because you hate the club, doesn’t mean you’re less of a sister to me.” We never fully saw eye to eye on many things, but she was Jason’s wife, and I was his brother. That alone made us family.
She looked at me with more tears welled up in her eyes. “What about Jason’s sister? She could use some help, too. She’s completely alone now.”
“I’m trying to reach out to her, she left so fast after the funeral I couldn’t get a hold of her.” I had few guys up in her county looking for her, but she seemed to have run off the radar. She was always one to take care of herself, she wouldn’t be looking for handouts. “Have you heard from her?”
“Yeah. She’s moving up to Chicago with a friend of hers there. I have her address. Send her the money, Rafe.”
“No. Jason would kick my ass if I left you with nothing. If you want to split it, that’s fine. I’ll send her some of it and you the rest. But you take the money.” I noticed Beth watching me with a new expression in her eyes and wondered if Stephanie had spooked her.
She wiped her hand across her cheeks to take away the tears that had fallen. “I just miss him so fucking much,” she whispered. She looked so small in that moment, like losing Jason had beaten every bit of energy from her body. I’d never seen her so beaten down.
“I do, too.” She moved away when I stepped up to her.
“Beth. I’m serious. Get away from him. You don’t want to end up like this.”
“Steph…”
“I’m tired. I want to go to bed.” She sniffled and folded her arms across her chest again. I sighed. Jason would tear me to shreds if I let her go on much longer with such hatred and hurt burning her up inside, but I didn’t know how to get through to her. She wasn’t wrong. The club had taken away two of her men, but I wasn’t the club. I was Jason’s friend, his brother.
“We’ll let you get some rest, then.” Beth put her cup down and gave me a pointed look. “Would you give Sue Ellen a call, I’m sure she’d love to come by.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” It was the best we were going to get from her at that moment. The pain was still too fresh, her mind still fixated on her hatred for those who loved him instead of those who killed him.
Was I much better, though? I fixated my thoughts on getting the people responsible for his death. I suspected everyone and trusted no one. Except for Beth. And the way she was looking at me at that moment, I wondered if we were headed toward another discussion of ending things between us.
I couldn’t fathom the idea of losing her. I wouldn’t lose her, that was the only option.
We left Stephanie’s house in silence. Beth buckled herself in and stared out the window, not giving me the feeling that she was willing to talk.
Something was going wrong in her pretty head. I thought I had straightened it all out, but from the way she huddled against the door, I knew everything was about to fall apart.