Chapter 12
Leon came into the kitchen the next morning for his breakfast, while Ivy was standing, leaning against the kitchen sink, chewing on a piece of buttered toast. Her mind was boggled. She was still day dreaming about the two men, and also trying to force herself to stop thinking about them. When she heard Leon’s, boots scraping the marble floor of the kitchen, she straightened herself with a jerk, ashamed of the thoughts that she had been having.
Leon was the one who seemed to be avoiding her gaze now, while she yearned to talk to him. She wished she could tell him everything, get it all off her chest. But he wasn’t in a mood to talk.
“Morning.” She dared to say, as she watched his tall brooding form, sit down at the kitchen table. He reached for the pot of jam in silence, lathering one of the toasts with it using a knife.
“Did you sleep well?” She asked, when he hadn’t responded to her.
“I slept alright.” He said, suddenly fixing his deep brown eyes on her. It made Ivy blush instantly. He was looking at her like he was challenging her, like he knew what she had been thinking. Like he knew she was lusting after his brother.
There was silence in the room, save for the sound Leon made while chewing his food. She could tell that he was upset about her behavior the previous night.
“Leon…” She said his name in a near whisper, but he didn’t look up at her.
“You don’t have to explain.” He said, like he didn’t mean it. He continued to chew on his food and stare at his plate in silence.
“But I want to.” She said, hearing the crack in her own voice. She was trying to build up the courage in her to say something, to tell him the truth.
“No, you don’t have to.” Leon snapped, focusing his eyes on her, which communicated exactly what he was feeling. She could see that he was hurt. That he hadn’t expected her to suddenly push him away like that, for no reason, out of the blue.
She knew Leon was still hurting. She remembered why he had moved to Montana, why he had bought this ranch, why he had chosen to live away from his family. She remembered the story about Vivienne, his redhead childhood sweetheart who had promised to marry him, but married his cousin, Michael instead.
A whimper escaped Ivy’s lips. She had turned into Vivienne, she had slept with Leon’s brother, she had essentially betrayed Leon the same way that Vivienne had.
She whipped around, to turn her face away from him, in silence, but she could feel her lips quivering.
“Ivy, you don’t have to explain. You should have just told me that you didn’t want me last night. I would have gone away without putting any pressure on you.” She heard him get up from his chair. He was walking towards her. She felt her muscles contract, her limbs grow cold, she was so ashamed of herself. She didn’t deserve his kindness. She had betrayed him and he didn’t even know it.
“Ivy, look at me.” She heard him say and then his hand was on her shoulder and he was trying to gently coax her to turn around, to turn to him.
She did, unable to meet his gaze, unable to actually look directly into his eyes. His harsh gaze had softened, he even had the flickering of a smile forming on his face.
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m not angry with you. You should have just told me.” He said, and he pulled her close to him. Ivy broke down, she bit down on her lip to stop herself from actually crying, but she couldn’t hold it back any more. This man was like a dream come true. He was so kind to her, so understanding and yet had no idea the way in which she had betrayed him. She didn’t deserve him; she didn’t deserve his generosity.
“Ok?” He said, pushing her gently away from him and looking into her eyes.
Ivy tried to force a fake smile on her face, and she nodded her head wildly, hoping that he would believe that she was only upset about her rude behavior the previous night.
“I’m sorry for pushing you. I shouldn’t have.” He said, whispering.
“No, you didn’t. I’m sorry I pushed you away.” She said, in a tearful voice.
“Don’t be silly. You have a right to push me away.” Leon said, and gave her his best full smile. Those sharp jaws, the high cheek bones stretched in a warm genuine smile and Ivy could feel her heart melting. She had given up all this, she had given up Leon!
“Now, back to work for me. And you should be getting on with your classes!” He said, in a sudden jolly voice. She tried smiling at him again as he turned from her and left the kitchen.
There was a harsh ray of sun filling the kitchen with a bright golden hue. Ivy turned and saw Leon leaving the mansion, through the kitchen window. She saw him walking confidently, his back straight, his shirt sleeves rolled up for the day, his cowboy hat on his head.
Ivy felt like crying again. She had betrayed him, his trust and done the very thing that he had been running away from. She had turned into his worst nightmare and done the one thing that he had never expected her to do.
Ivy knew she should be punished, she should leave the ranch. She knew she needed to go before she could cause any more harm or heartache to the man who had put all his trust in her. But before that, she would have to face Archer again. He had to take responsibility for it, just as much as she had.