Nate
Parking my bike in the garage after weaving through the cars, I can hear the chatter and laughter cutting through the music. As much as I hate shit like this, I know Ma and the old man are enjoying it. They love a full house. Ma always said she would never have a quiet house. She just knew her three kids were going to give her tons of grandkids. Well, I am sure Joe JR would have, and there is still hope for Natalie. I’m too fucked up to be a dad. Thinking about kids makes my palms sweaty and my head hurt.
I sneak into the kitchen while everyone is gathering outside and take one of my pills. I know a few people that are here, but the crowd of people waiting to see me makes me anxious. At the bar, I was able to hang back, doing my own thing, and no one bothered me, other than Audrey. I know as soon as I step outside I will be bombarded with hugs, well wishes, and questions about overseas. Not to mention condolences for my brother. I don’t need their apologies, it’s done and over with.
He’s dead and gone, and life must go on without him. I try to ignore his tombstone staring at me from the other end of the lawn as I walk out to the tent where everyone is taking their seats. Aunts, Uncles, cousins, friends—exes.
Why is Felecia here? Shit, I wasn’t prepared for this. Her nasally laugh echoes through the trees as she slinks her way over to where I stand. Of course she’s the first to notice me.
“Oh my God! Look at you all manly and beefed up. The Army did your body good.” She bites her bottom lip and winks as she squeezes my arm. My dick shrivels at the sight of her. She always did try too hard. I can see her nipples broad as day. I know Ma is behind this, I just don’t understand why.
I liked Felecia well enough when we dated, but I’m not looking to pick up where we left off. I take a step back as she circles me like her prey.
“You haven’t changed a bit,” I say attempting to be polite.
“This old thing, I just threw it on right quick. I couldn’t wait to get over here and see everyone. I ran into your Ma at the grocery store, and when she told me you were home, I knew I just had to see you for myself.”
I roll my eyes. It all makes perfect sense. She invited herself. Figures.
“Well good to see ya.” I step past her and make for my Uncle Sid. He can’t hear, and he loves to drink beer, making the perfect companion.
My dad joins us at the far end of the tent. “That there’s a sure thing. Thought maybe you’d be happy to see her.” He stares past me to Felecia as she makes an ass out of herself.
I don’t know what she was expecting to get out of showing up here, but I want no part of her.
“Not interested.” No not in the least. A certain woman who shouldn’t be on my mind is taking up way too much space in my head. I can’t get her voice out of my head. I can’t believe Audrey is that girl, from three years ago. Funny I met her first, and she doesn’t know it. I wonder if Joe would find that ironic.
Ma’s eyes find me, and she smiles so proud that it makes me feel like shit for not wanting to be here. She clinks a fork against a glass to capture everyone’s undivided attention. Her dark eyes roam around the tent so proud of the turnout.
“I just want to say a few words and then we can all eat. The past few months have been terrible. I wouldn’t wish losing a son on anyone, but today my other son has come home. While we still miss my Joe JR, God love him, I am so happy to have Nate home with us.”
“Here, here,” rings out around the party.
“Now let’s eat,” dad yells with a pat to my back. I join Natalie on the serving side of the buffet to help out, and to avoid Felecia and her barbed tentacles.
My sis takes care of the sides and I pour drinks. Everyone keeps telling me how great it is to see me, and for Ma’s sake I nod while grinning and bearing all the unwanted attention.
After everyone has their plates Natalie and I fill ours, taking our places at our parent’s table. Thankfully, Felecia is sitting elsewhere. Looks like Trey is stuck with her. I didn’t even realize he was home. I lost track of him after I landed in Afghanistan.
His gaze is deadlocked with my sister. Interesting. I wonder what I missed there. He better not of dicked around and broke her heart. I’ll kick his ass. I know the two of them were always crushing on each other. They just thought the rest of us had never noticed.
“So…what’s with the kill Trey vibe you’re sending out?” I ask before shoving Ma’s pasta salad in my mouth.
“It isn’t important,” she mumbles.
“Did he hurt you, say something, what?”
“Easy, killer. Nothing I can’t handle. By the way, Audrey tells me you’re an asshole. Want to tell me why you went all fuckwad on her today?”
Ma hears her mention Audrey’s name and has to stick her nose in our conversation. “What about Audrey? Did you meet her? Poor girl.”
“No,” I answer my nosy sister first, then my even nosier mother. “Yeah. Ma. She’s a good girl,” I lie. I mean not that she’s a horrible person, but in Ma’s eyes she is probably the daughter of the devil himself. No one was ever good enough for her Joe JR. Growing up it was always “look what Joe did, he’s so wonderful.” I was always in his shadow. Not that I ever minded. I knew my role as the bad seed and played my part all too well.
She accepts what I say and goes back to eating. Conversation ebbs and flows from one topic to the next, but somehow it always circles back to me, and what my plans are.
“When things pick up with the business, the two of you should buy Audrey’s share or let my buy it. I still can’t believe Joe did that,” Lewis says.
Dad shakes his head in disagreement and speaks up. “I thought so too at first but the more I’ve thought about it I’ve come to realize that he loved her and wanted to take care of her. Nothing wrong with that. She’s pretty and she’s smart. We should set her up with Brian or you could always step up and marry her, Nate. It’d be the right thing to do. It’s keep the business in the family and it would keep your brother’s wishes intact.”
I’m about ready to tell him he needs cut off the beer when Ma starts adding her thoughts. “You know it wasn’t that I never liked Audrey. I just felt she wasn’t right for Joe JR, but her and Nate...” She points her fork at dad. “I think you are on to something there. They would be well suited. Both have spunk and the babies. They’d have gorgeous babies. I do so want grandbabies to spoil rotten” She’s had way too much wine. It’s the only explanation. She’s talking about me as if I’m not even here. “It’s not like your sister is going to settle down any time soon,” she complains to my sister’s ignorance.
I’m gaping at my family as they talk about my love life, and future children I don’t plan on fathering. Have they all been hitting the bottle? They’re all crazy. Except for Nattie. I think she is as lost as I am in this conversation.
I look over at her for support, and she is staring holes through Trey. She must not even be listening to this bullshit.
I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say. Wouldn’t matter if I did though. They have moved on to talking about knocking down the wall between the two apartments and making a large one for the babies I am apparently going to make with my dead brother’s girl. Perfect.
Their delusional warped fantasy conversation pauses when Felecia slithers up to my side and wedges herself between the table and me, as she partially sits on my lap.
Ma raises a brow. Oh, now she doesn’t like Felecia again now that she’s on team grandbaby with Audrey. The woman is unbelievable. She let her invite herself here. I don’t even know what to say.
I shouldn’t encourage Felecia, but I rest my chin on her shoulder to get on Ma’s nerves, landing me the “I’ll smack the back of ya head” face.
“Where’s Audrey, I thought you were bringing her?” Ma questions looking at me. I grimace at Lewis and he throws his hands up laughing, having given up entirely. Great. I’m on my own apparently.
Natalie pipes in to my bewilderment and says, “She stayed at the bar to run things.” Now she wants to help me out. She’s sat here through the rest of the conversation nodding in agreement, avoiding my pleading eyes for help.
Is she crazy too? She can’t really think they have a point about Audrey.
“Nonsense. You should have closed early,” Ma continues and dad grunts in agreement.
“Audrey as in Joe’s Audrey?” Felecia looks to me with a puzzled expression.
“Yeah, apparently she’s having my baby,” I joke with a soft chuckle. I might as well get some enjoyment out of this nightmare.
“Are you serious?” Felecia looks appalled. “Didn’t you just get back in town?”
“Dead serious,” Natalie pipes in again, getting in on my joke. She’s never cared for Felecia.
“I had no idea. I better be going. It was good seeing you all. Thanks for dinner.” She rises quickly and leaves.
“Bye, Felecia,” Nattie calls after her giggling.
I shake my head and excuse myself from the table needing a breather from my crazy ass family.
Trey comes over to me as I am getting dessert, and volunteers to run some boxes over to the apartment for me since he drove his truck over.
“What’s up with you and my sister? She looks ready to either pounce and screw you or smack the shit out of you.”
“I fucked up, and before you beat my ass—I’m going to make it right.”
“You better,” I warn nudging his shoulder as I carry my plate of cookies and pie back to the table. I’m not getting in the middle of whatever is going on between them, but if he hurts my sister, we’ll have a major problem.
Thankfully, when I sit down my folks are discussing the new shopping plaza that is being built. I eat my sugary goodness in peace until I am ready to burst.
“Well this has been great, Ma. Food was stellar. If you’re done planning my future, I’m going to turn in early, it’s been a long day.” I kiss her cheek and go inside to my old room with a couple of beers to try to forget the future my family has envisioned, because I can see it in my head. Audrey and her stomach round with a child of mine, not Joe JR’s. I keep thinking back to the night I met her and wondering what if.
What if I had stayed the night.
What if I had given her my number.
She might have waited for me and already been mine right now.
What if I want her to be mine?
What if I did pursue Audrey?
Would it be out of line?
Would it be wrong of me to step into Joe Jr’s shoes and honor his memory and take care of the woman he loved so much?
I’m a terrible person and an even shittier brother for even considering entertaining the thoughts.
I can’t help it though. Part of me wants to be the good son for once. The guy who gets the girl too.
Maybe it won’t be with Audrey but I do want that picture Ma painted more than I thought.