Audrey
The funeral was a blur. I hardly remember the service. I barely remember the past month. Joey, my lover and my friend is gone. I can’t recall the last time I left our apartment. I live off of takeout I order in and have delivered plus the leftovers Natalie leaves by the door. I know what happened wasn’t her fault, but I can’t stand the sight of her. Nat is supposed to be my best friend. Hearing that my boyfriend, her brother wanted to propose marriage should have made her happy for me, for both of us.
Why didn’t she keep her ill thoughts to herself? Why did she need to voice them to Joey right before the most important moment of his career? Hugging his shirt to my nose, I inhale deeply. His smell is fading away. I throw it to the side and try a different one. Tears burn at he creases of my eyes, but I bite them back. Joey is fading away.
How do I go on with my life without him? Where do I go from here? Joey was the center of my world and without him I have nothing.
No hope.
No love.
No future.
**
One week later
Rolling over, I rub my temples as a loud banging noise ensues. It takes me a moment to realize that the pounding isn’t inside my head. Someone is knocking on the door.
“Open up, Audrey or I am using my key,” I hear Gertie shout from the hall.
Ugh. What does she want?
I shuffle to the door, stepping over all the random crap in the floor. Old takeout containers. Wine bottles. Dirty clothes. “Whatta ya want?” I croak.
The handle jiggles. I hear keys rattling.
God. “Fine.” I undo the lock and let the door fall open.
“Good god,” she mutters as she pushes her way to the living room.
I arch a brow. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to check in on you. Nattie says you’ve not been leaving the apartment.”
“Why do you care?”
“Audrey, honey. Joey wouldn’t want this for you. He’d want you to live your life and maybe take a bath and wash the sheets.” She stares past me to the bare mattress in the bedroom.
I plop down in an arm chair. “Who are you, my mother?” I snort with a roll of my eyes.
“No and thank God for that, but my Joe JR loved you and that makes you a part of my family whether either of us like it or not. So, get up and get in the shower. I’m going to start picking up.” Her top lip curls as she bends down to pick up a beer bottle.
“I don’t want to. And I don’t need you cleaning up after me.” I fold my arms across my chest, wishing she’d leave.
“Listen, young lady, and listen good. You are going to march your ass in there and wash it. If I have to strip you down and shove you in I will. But this is still my son’s home and business. I’ll be damned if you’re going to ruin it.” She wags her finger at me and I am partly in shock and partly impressed that she is cursing at me. I never thought she had it in her.
“Chop. Chop.” She claps her hands and I wince as my headache returns.
**
I don’t get why I need to be here. Joey and I weren’t married. I wasn’t even aware that he had a Will. Gertie found a copy of the documents in the safe in the bedroom closet when she came over to light a fire under my ass. God the woman drives me mad. Always calling me. Always asking how I’m doing. I don’t know why she bothers. Why can’t she leave me to wallow until I shrivel into nothing and fade away.
“Mr. Reyes will see you know,” the secretary tells Gertie.
We all raise from our seats. Natalie, Gertie, Big Joe, and me. We are minus, Nate, Joey’s brother. He is still serving his tour of duty. I’ve never met him, but I have seen some photographs. He’s Natalie’s twin but he resembles Joey more.
I follow the family into the meeting room and take a seat toward the other end of the table.
“Come on, Audrey. This involves you.” Gertie bosses me. The woman hates me. I don’t know why she is pretending today.
The attorney goes over the basic stuff, explaining legal jargon that I ignore for the most part. Things don’t get interesting until he reads the Will.
Turns out Joey left everything to me. His apartment. His hare of the bar. He updated everything six months before he passed away. The family is arguing about buying me out as though I am not even sitting here. As though Joey didn’t entrust me to see his dream through.
Everyone is talking at once. “Audrey can’t manage a bar. She should sell her share to Nate and Nat. If she wants to live in the apartment she should start paying rent…”
They are so invested in screaming at one another that they don’t even notice when I slip out the door and hail a cab to drive me home.
I’ve not been inside the bar since that day. The day of the accident. The day I lost Joey.
Standing outside of the building I have called home for two years I can’t believe I’m now a part owner. My smile is a bittersweet one. Joey loved me enough to leave me his baby. He really did want to marry me and build a future together.
I walk in and see a familiar sight. Lewis tending the bar and Sasha waiting tables. Only thing missing is Joey back in the office crunching numbers.
“Hey stranger.” Lewis shoots me a smile. “What brings your sassy ass out on a Friday night?”
I take a seat at the end of the bar hating that Joey won’t be joining me. I shrug my shoulders and look around the room, I helped him create this space. The artwork on the walls, we shopped for it together. This was his baby, our dream together.
“Can I ask you something?”
Lewis holds up a finger and finishes up with the drink order he is filling. He winks at me while getting his flirt on with the girl ordering the drinks. She has no shot in hell, but she doesn’t know that and Lewis needs the tips. After swiping and returning her card he motions to one of the girls to watch the bar. Then he grabs us both a beer, comes around the bar, and grabs the stool next to mine. “What’s on your mind?”
“Did you know Joey left everything to me?” I watch out of the corner of my eye for his reaction. Lewis had made no secret of wanting to be a partner. He has offered to buy out Nate’s share several times being he has never even seen the place. Well, not in person.
Sputtering, he spits out his drink. I pat him on the back as eh gets choked. “Sorry,” he croaks.
I shrug and offer him a weak smile. “That was my reaction too.”
“You know I adore you, but damn I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Me either.” I sigh, leaning my head on his shoulder.
I finish my beer and head upstairs to clean up my mess and possibly my life.
I feel like I am floating. Coasting from one moment to the next.
The next day Natalie knocks on my door. Part of me doesn’t want to let her in, but I hate the divide that has been pushing us apart since the day Joey passed. It’s simply been hard to look at her and not want to blame her for fighting with him. The logical part of me knows she had no control of the chain of reactions that were set in motion. She’s my best friend and I miss her.
“Hey,” she sighs as I open the door.
“Hi.” I offer a weak smile in return.
Following me to the kitchen quietly, she then takes up a stool.
“Coffee?”
“Sure. Thanks.” Things are awkward and stiff between us and I hate that this is where we are.
“So, yesterday was quite the shock, huh?” There is no need in dancing around the elephant in the room. I am sure the reading of the Will is what brought her over.
“Yeah. Listen, Audrey. I know you’ve been upset with me. But you’ve got to know that what happened was a freak accident.”
I know she is right. Joey shouldn’t have been walking across that street, but he was distracted by their fight. “Nattie, why didn’t you want your brother to marry me?” I need her to be honest with me.
She goes quiet for a minute before answering, tucking her hair behind her ear. I pour us both a cup of coffee, needing something to keep me from saying or doing something I can’t take back.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t approve. You know I adore you and I loved you and Joe together. I just wasn’t sure if you were ready for that step. I was out of line. I’m so sorry for that. If I could go back and change that day I would in a heartbeat. You have to know I’d do anything to bring my brother back.”
I nod and take a sip from my cup of caffeinated goodness.
“About the business. We had never really discussed the future or anything like that, so it came as a shock to all of us that Joe left everything to you. Of course, it will be a few months before everything clears. I talked Ma out of contesting Joe JR’s wishes. For now, things will continue as they did before.”
“I’m cool with that.”
“So…are we good? Are we okay?”
“We’re good. I do need your help with something.”
“Sure. Whatever you need. Name it.”
“Can you help me pack up some of Joey’s things? I just thought maybe it’d help if I do something productive.” My hand trembles at the thought of clearing out Joey’s stuff but it is only things and things will never replace his memory.