Audrey
Nate’s been moving his things in next door for the past two weeks. I’ve been trying not to ogle him through the peephole as he walks past my door, but I can’t help but steal glances at him.
He makes me feel not so alone
He makes me feel whole again.
I know he isn’t a replacement, and it isn’t healthy, but watching Nate is like a damn drug. I can’t get enough. I am like a fucking addict craving just a glimpse of him. I mean yeah, he resembles Joey, but I know they aren’t the same person. Maybe I am just lonely and seriously fucked in the head, but I look forward to seeing Nate.
He has been keeping his distance, and we haven’t worked the same shift at the bar not once. I know we can’t avoid each other forever, but for now it’s working. At least it had been until Nattie changed our plans.
She sprung her vacation on me a few days ago. She says she needs some time away. Time to clear her head. I guess Trey, a guy she has pined for her whole life showed up and rocked her world off axis. He has a kid and an ex-wife. It sounds like a bunch of drama and I can’t blame her for wanting to check out of reality. God knows I checked out the day Joey was taken away from me.
I understand where Natalie is coming from, but at the same time it’s hard to see her giving up what I was supposed to have with Joey. Trey wants to go all in and for them to be a family together.
The poor guy has all but moved into the bar to drown his sorrows. He is so upset over my bestie shooting him down. I have tried talking to her about it, but she shuts me down every time. It stings but I guess I deserve it after freezing her out like I did when I was grieving.
She left this morning and Trey took off after she did. I can’t be mad. I know she needs to do this.
The timing sucks, but I would never dream of telling her no. She’s been so good to me through all of my shit and held my hand through it all. Even when I didn’t deserve her friendship she was there for me. She’s never let me down, and I can suffer a week with Nate for her sake if it will make her happy.
She is going on a cruise to the Bahamas. I’m totally jealous. While she is on the beach sipping fruity cocktails, I’ll be here with my dead boyfriend’s brother.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t such an asshole. Sure, he is sexy to look at and intriguing at times, but he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with me.
I mean, why shouldn’t we be friends? I do own part of his business.
I can hear him now banging against the wall. I hope he hasn’t brought his mystery woman home with him for another round.
I turn my movie up louder and snuggle deeper in my blanket, trying to get comfortable.
A few minutes late someone is pounding on my door. Ugh, its early Sunday morning, and I haven’t slept, after singing last night and talking with his sister about her travel plans and her love life. When I tried to get some rest all I could do was think of Joey and what we will never experience together. We never got to take a vacation together. The closest we ever got was when he took me to dinner, and a hotel for the night on our anniversary. Not that I am complaining. He was so romantic, I thought that maybe he was going to propose to me, but he didn’t.
Even without a proposal, it was the perfect date. We ate steak and shrimp by candlelight. We had the whole back dining room to ourselves. I may have gone down on Joey from under the table too.
I pretended to drop my napkin and slid under the tablecloth. When I came back up I was between his legs.
We had such a good time.
Inching my fingers up his thighs I make my way to his zipper.
“Audrey, what are you doing?” His voice is shaky. I know getting it on in public makes him nervous.
“I’m ready for dessert,” I whisper, eager to touch and taste him.
“You can’t mean to be doing that here.”
I don’t answer. I finish what I started and continue rubbing over the bulge in his boxer briefs. He groans in response and slides down in the seat giving me a better angle to work with. Growing more erect under my touch. My man is no longer protesting, instead he’s enjoying what I’m offering.
“Fuck, Audrey,” he hisses under his breath as my tongue licks him from base to tip with his thick cock fully exposed now.
Pre-cum beads on the head of his dick. I lick it up and suck him between my lips, eager to get him off. I know it turns him on when I swallow.
The pounding grows louder, and more urgent, breaking me from my memories. “What?” I scream as I make for the door.
I throw the door open and come face to face with Nate. A very shirtless Nate. Sweat is trickling down his chest, rolling straight down the delicious V that disappears beneath the waist of his basketball shorts. God he looks all sexy and brooding.
“Think you can turn that shit down?”
“Think you can stop being so Goddamn loud?” I spit back.
“You gotta mouth on ya. Like a little firecracker ready to shoot off and all you need is a spark.” He steps into me, too close, smelling too damn good. All manly with a hint of sweat. “Can. You. Turn. Down. The. Volume?” he enunciates the question slowly and his breath is tickling my nose.
I look up at him, our mouths are so close. “If you keep it down so will I, but I like it loud.” I smirk, hinting at his performance from his first night back.
He winks, and I melt a little at this playful side of him. “I’ll keep that in mind.” His voice is husky, sexy. Then he flicks my forehead hard with his fingers and stomps the few feet back to his place.
I inhale sharply, frozen in place, shaken by how he made me feel being so in my face. I don’t move until he bangs on the wall screaming for me to turn the TV down.
Part of me wants to turn it up louder just to spite him, and make him come back, but I don’t. I turn the volume down and curl up in bed, hugging Joey’s pillow.
The next few days at the bar don’t go much better. I’m on day two of working next to Nate. It’s a slow day and he already sent Sasha and Freddie home. Said he’d call them back in if things picked up tonight. Lewis already scheduled the day off for a dentist appointment.
A baseball game plays on the big screen behind the bar, and I want to poke my eyes out. I’m not into sports. Every time I change the channel the asshole turns it back.
I swear he does it just to piss me off and it’s working. I think he is trying to annoy me until I give in and take the day off too.
He doesn’t realize I don’t like to lose. I never give in. I always got my way with Joey, and I got used to getting what I want.
“Can we at least compromise?” I ask as he wipes invisible spots from the shot glasses for what seems like the ninth time.
“Nope,” he answers quickly.
Okay then, I guess I will drive him nuts by singing ABBA. I go behind the bar, and I toss back a Jager Bomb for luck and make my way to the stage. The man is driving me to drinking again. Dancing Queen blares through the speakers. I can see Nate clenching his jaws as he busies himself with sweeping the clean floor. It only makes me sing louder.
I’m on my third rendition of the song when he snaps, unplugging the sound system from the outlets.
“Enough with the noise. What do you want to watch?”
I grin at him. I knew I would break him. Flicking the tip of his nose I tell him, “The Romance Channel is showing some great movies. They’re having a Nicholas Sparks marathon.”
His mouth curves down as he frowns, rubbing his nose. “Are you trying to kill me. I don’t watch that sappy shit.”
“You do now,” I gloat changing the channel.
“Let’s at least make it interesting. For every main character that dies, we do a shot.”
“You’re on big shot.” I saunter behind the bar and start pouring.
We are only two movies into marathon as the rain pours outside the bar. I am feeling slightly buzzed and I think Nate is too.
Noah and Allie are dancing in the street on the screen.
I let out a sigh and Nate says, “What? Why do you have that dreamy look in your eyes?”
“Isn’t that so romantic. I’ve always wanted to be spontaneous like that.”
“Come on.” Nate grabs my hand.
“Where are going?” I question, perplexed as he leads me to the door.
He arches a brow and points at the empty bar. “It isn’t like anyone will miss us.”
I still don’t know what we are doing but I follow him out onto the outside patio into the rain.
I look to Nate as he pulls me to him and starts swaying to the sound of the rain as it beats down on the pavement. “Have you lost your mind?”
“I never claimed to have had it to start with.” He laughs as the rain continues to fall and I lay my head on his shoulder and do my best not enjoy the moment he is giving me. I try not to think about Joey right now but it’s hard. This is the sort of thing he would have done for me.
God do I miss him, but if I am being honest. Nate is taking up a lot more space in my head these days. It makes me feel like a shit person, but Joey isn’t here.