Zee

The sky is a dusky purple, and the parking lot of Savages and Saints is full, music thumping from inside as I help Quinn off the bike and take her helmet.

On the patio bar, I see Abbott and the guy who’d tried to hook up with Quinn the first night I’d arrived. Alex...Axel...Ace. I don’t like him, and not just because he’d kissed Quinn. Well, maybe that’s the primary reason. But I also don’t like the way he’s looking at me now. Or the way Abbott whispers in his ear, gaze trained on me.

Trouble simmers between them.

It’s never been a secret that Abbott doesn’t like me. But since I’ve been back, his dislike has turned into loathing. His gaze is cold as he watches Quinn and I walk across the parking lot, and when he starts towards us, I can tell he’s hammered, and ready to cause shit.

Quinn’s steps falter as we approach, and I hear her mutter, “Shit.”

Not sure why I do it, but I grab her hand. I know Abbott would never hurt her, might take a swing at me, but still something primal stirs in my chest. A need to protect her, even if it’s just from the harsh criticism I see in his gaze.

Abbott’s lips curl back from his teeth when he glances down at our joined hands, and I can feel Quinn loosen her grip. Fuck that. She’s mine. At least right now, for as long as I can keep her.

“What the hell, Quinn?” Abbott slurs. “Bad enough you’re fucking this loser, but you’re going to flaunt it in front of the whole town?”

Quinn sucks in a breath.

“Watch yourself.” I step in front of Quinn, when Abbott moves towards her like he’s ready to rip her hand from mine.

“Or what?” He gets in my face, dark eyes so much like Quinn’s, daring me to hit him.

“You’re drunk. You’ve got a problem with me, fine. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, when you’ve sobered the fuck up.”

His breathing is rough, and his pupils are fixed and dilated, and I’m starting to wonder what else he’s on.

“Yeah, I’ve got a problem with you.” He puts his palms on my chest and shoves.

“You’re acting like an asshole,” Quinn says, moving around me, and shoving him back.

“And you’re acting like a slut,” he hisses.

There’s no thought, just anger as my fist cuts through the air, landing square on his jaw.

He stumbles back at the same time Quinn screams my name.

Then Ace is barreling towards me. His shoulder catches my ribs and despite the fact that I’m a good four inches taller than him, he’s bulkier, and his weight takes me to the ground. He gets one good shot in before I knock him off, but Abbott jumps in pounding his fist into my jaw.

Pain slices through my face, but all I can focus on is the panic in Quinn’s voice, and I pray to God she’s smart enough not to try and get in the middle.

“Jesus Christ, Abbott!” Kade is screaming as the men are being pulled off me.

My right eye is already swollen shut, and the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth. I feel Quinn beside me, her small hands on my face.

“Your eye.”

“I’m fine.” Had a lot worse over the years. I stand and wipe my mouth with my forearm.

“What the hell is your problem?” It’s Kade who’s yelling. Hands fisted in Abbott’s shirt, he has his younger brother backed against a truck.

“You always take his side,” Abbott hollers back, his words slurred. He spits blood, then wipes his mouth with his sleeve. “Do you even care that he’s screwing our sister?”

A crowd has surrounded us, and I notice a few people have their phones out, recording the entire scene. Ace crouches a few feet away, head in his hands, looking like he’s going to be sick. I clipped him hard in the jaw, and even in the dim light I can see a bruise forming there.

“He just needs to sober up,” I say, taking Quinn’s hand again, not caring who the fuck sees.

Abbott stumbles towards me, looking like he’s ready to take another shot at me. “You’re filth...”

Kade grabs him again.

“I know exactly who you are.” Abbott points at me, shrugging Kade off. “Know what you did.”

Something twists in my gut, a premonition that he’s not just talking out of his ass.

“Go,” Kade says to me. “I’ll deal with him.”

“Why are you so fucking blind with him?” Abbott shrugs Kade off again when he tries to hold him back. “Do you have any idea why he even left. What he did to you?”

I know I’m fucked. I see the truth in Abbott’s eyes.

The music has stopped, and more people have piled out of the bar.

“I saw you, with her,” Abbott hisses, and I know he’s not talking about Quinn. “In the storage room. I saw you fucking her.”

“Abbott,” I warn.

“What?” He glares at me, disgust pulling his lips up. “Afraid my sister won’t keep worshipping your cock if she finds out?”

“Stop it,” Quinn yells, coming between us. “Do you even hear yourself?”

Abbott laughs bitterly. “You don’t see it. He’s playing you. Both of you.”

“That’s enough,” Kade says.

“No.” Abbott shakes his head, then looks at me and points a finger. “Either you tell him, or I do.”

Quinn glances at me, brows drawn down. Begging me with her eyes not to bring her whole world crashing down on her head. Too late. There’s no walking away from this without exposing the whole dirty truth now.

When I don’t say anything, Abbott spits at my feet. “A slime and a coward.”

“You’re not just hurting me by doing this,” I say. “I’ll tell them. Just not here.”

“You don’t think my brother deserves to know you fucked his wife?”

Gasps are followed by murmurs.

My gaze focused on Abbott, I don’t see Quinn step back, but I feel the loss of her presence.

There’s a long moment when the world seems to stop. Can’t breathe. It’s as if the oxygen has been ripped from my lungs.

“Is he telling the truth?” Kade’s voice is low, and way too calm

I glance over at him, and I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t want to believe it. That if I denied the accusation he’d take my side.

All he’s ever given me is his loyalty, and all I’ve ever done is betray it.

“Yes,” I finally admit, rubbing the back of my neck.

Quinn breathes in roughly behind me.

“When?” Kade holds my gaze; the only emotion he shows is in the tightness of his jaw and the way his chest rises and falls with each breath.

I take a step towards him, hating that we’re doing this in front of all these people. Not for my sake, but for his.

“Happened one time. Right after my dad...” I drag my palm over my face, wincing when I touch my eye. But I’d take a thousand punches if I could undo the past. “A few days before his funeral. I was messed up. We both were. I swear to God I didn’t even know it was her until—”

“Don’t.” Kade puts his hand up and shakes his head. “No excuses.”

I know he’s right, that there’s nothing I can say to justify myself.

Abbott starts on a rant again looking like he’s about to take another swing at me, but Kade gets between us.

“Give me your keys,” Kade demands, palm out to his youngest brother.

Abbott sways as he pulls them out of his pocket and hands them to him. “I’m fine to drive.”

Kade gives him a look of disgust. “I’ll call Damon to pick you up.”

“I’ll drive him,” Quinn says, her voice barely a whisper.

Kade holds her gaze for a moment and I can see the silent conversation between them, their expression mirroring each other’s hurt, confusion and betrayal.

When she takes the keys from him, she gives a small nod, then turns and walks away.

Abbott follows behind her, and I grind my back teeth when I see Ace stand and go with them.

I want to go after her. To explain. But I have to finish what was started here. Come clean. Tell Kade everything. I have no other choice now.

People are already starting to go back to the patio, and the music starts up again, but I get more than a few deserving glares.

Kade doesn’t move, just stands there, dark eyes staring into the darkness, fingers templed and pressed to his mouth.

When we’re alone, he finally turns to me. “Tell me everything.”

I do. I tell him everything, except the revelation Ana left me with a few weeks ago.

He paces the parking lot as I talk.

“You should have come to me. Told me.”

“Jesus, Kade, you came to me the next day with an engagement ring for her—”

“You think I’d have asked her to marry me if I’d known?” He cups the back of his head and closes his eyes. “I knew...shit. I knew she had a thing for you. But I ignored my gut.”

“I never cared about her like that.”

“I know that.” He drags his hands over his face. Silences stretches, then he finally says, “I would have forgiven you.”

Would have.

“Don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

He meets my gaze. “And I don’t deserve yours.”

I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”

“I knew you were spiraling. The alcohol, drugs. I should have been there for you. And I wasn’t.”

“I made my own choices. There was nothing you could have done. Had to hit rock bottom. Thought I had when I woke up the next day and realized what I’d done...”

Kade leans against a truck and buries his head in his hands. “Okay.”

My gut twists. “Okay?”

“I’m still pissed, but we can work through this. I know you. Know you’d never betray me on purpose. We’ll—”

“Kade.”

“—move past it, and—”

“Kade.”

“—you can stay—”

“Lola might be mine,” I half shout the words.

Even in the darkness I see the color drain from his face, the horror that fills his eyes.

“I didn’t even know about her until a few weeks ago. I mean, I know Liam had mentioned a kid, but it hadn't clicked. And then Ana...”

Slowly, he slides down the truck, until he’s crouching, fingers buried in is hair.

“She told me she didn’t know...who...God, I’m so fucking sorry. If I’d known—”

“That’s why you came back?” There’s a numbness to his words.

“I had to know.”

A tick begins in his jaw, then he stands abruptly, and takes three strides towards me until he’s nose to nose with me. “She’s mine. I don’t fucking care what Ana said. I know in the pit of my soul she’s mine.”

I swallow hard. “I know.”

Because it’s the truth. No matter what a DNA test would show, the kid is his.

“I’d never take her away from you.”

The breath he takes in is desperate, pained, the sound, worse than anything I’ve ever heard before. Then he turns, balling his fingers into fists, and punches the truck three times. It’s hard enough to leave a dent and his knuckles bloody.

“Fuck,” he screams, then hits the truck one more time.

I can’t do anything but watch him, let him process what I told him, and accept whatever punishment he wants to inflict. Part of me wishes he’d turn his fists on me. It’s what I deserve, and it would probably make us both feel better.

With his forearms resting on the bed of the truck and his shoulders slouched, he asks, “What do you want?”

“I don’t want anything.”

He looks over at me. “You came back here for something. What. Do. You. Want?”

“I wanted to make things right.”

He grunts. “You think this makes anything right?”

“No.”

He shakes his head and looks away. “I’ll sign those damn papers. And you can get the hell out of here. And never come back.”

I drag my hand through my hair and watch him walk away. I’ve had almost a month longer to process everything. I know I need to give him some time.

Not sure what the hell happens now. I just know I can’t stay here. My fingers are already itching to go into the back of Savages and Saints and grab a bottle of whiskey to drown the guilt that’s choking me.

Can’t.

Won’t.

Need to talk to Quinn.

Need to explain.

Know she probably hates me. But I can’t walk away again. Made her a promise I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

But those damn demons howl inside my head and like the goddamn coward I am, I let them lead me straight back into the pit I’d spent the past year digging my way out of.