Zee

Standing on the deck of our new home, overlooking the cove where I’d first learned to breathe again, I hold Quinn’s hands and vow in front of our friends and family, to love and cherish her for the rest of my life.

It’s the easiest promise I’ve ever had to make.

Quinn’s face glows, her small baby bump barely visible under the white, strapless gown.

It took a lot of planning to have the wedding this quickly. But after feeling the wrath of the Savage clan for about two-point-three seconds — Abbott’s a bit longer — they all came together to make this day happen.

Because that’s what they do.

What family does.

I watched them my whole life, thinking I was on the sidelines, when in reality I was always part of them. And as I slip the ring on Quinn’s finger I know I always will be.

“Luckiest man in the world,” I whisper, pressing my lips to her cheek.

When the Minister finally announces us as husband and wife, I kiss her hard.

If it wasn’t for the claps and cheers I could have gotten lost in that kiss.

“I love you,” she says, tears shining in her eyes.

If I could pull her away from here, keep her all to myself, I would. But there are others who want to share in our happiness, and I won’t take that away from Quinn.

The reception is held down on the beach. Lights have been strung out along the cliffs, and a white canopy tent covers a long table that seats all sixty plus guests, including the Wild Irish clan, who Quinn insisted on inviting.

Their music isn’t something I’d normally listen too. I prefer harder rock. But the men seem decent, and the way they worship their women has me liking them a little more.

“Nice digs ye have here,” Shane Hayes, Makena’s husband, says, in a deep Irish brogue.

“Thanks.”

He rubs the back of his neck and gives me a lopsided grin. “So, Makena told me to come over here and give ye a warning to treat Quinn right.” He smacks my shoulder and gives me a wink. “But I know that look ye have, and I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” He leans closer and whispers, “But just in case she asks, tell my wife I threatened to hang ye by yer balls if you hurt her.”

“Will do.” I chuckle and watch as he heads back to his wife, and puts a lazy arm over her shoulder, then raises his glass to me with a wink.

“I think I like him,” I say to Quinn when she approaches.

“Yeah, he’s pretty great.” On tiptoe, she kisses my cheek. “But not as great as you.”

I grunt, but it doesn’t stop my chest from swelling.

Music plays softly as the caterers start to set up the buffet. People drink their non-alcoholic champagne without much muttering, except from Abbott who I’m pretty sure showed up already trashed. He does a good job at hiding it, which is what scares me the most.

He reminds me too much of myself. Trouble, looking for any excuse to self destruct.

“Happy?” Quinn asks, leaning into me.

“Best day of my damn life,” I say, kissing her cheek. “It’ll be even better when I get that dress off you and finally see the lingerie you’ve been teasing me about.”

“Trust me.” She grins, a promise in her eyes. “It’ll be worth it.”

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I growl into her ear, “How long are these people staying?”

She just shakes her head and laughs.

A small shriek has us both glancing down to the lake’s edge, where Aiden, another of the Wild Irish crew, is trying desperately to keep a toddler from running into the water.

He fails miserably.

The kid sits down in the damp sand as a wave rolls in. She laughs like it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, then pulls off a shoe, clapping her hands as it starts to drift into the lake.

I chuckle as the mom, Emer, scrambles to pick her up, while Aiden rushes into the water to retrieve the lost shoe.

“I wouldn’t laugh,” Quinn says, threading her fingers in mine. “That’ll be us in a couple years.”

“Nah, our kid’s going to be a perfect angel,” I tease, pressing a kiss against her temple, and place my hand on her belly.

“You’re already spoiling him and he’s not even here yet.” She shakes her head at me, but I know she loves everything I’ve done.

Sure, I probably went a little overboard on the two-story treehouse I had built, especially considering it’ll be a few years before he can even climb it.

“Did you like my wedding gift?” I ask, changing the subject.

She chuckles and shakes her head. “A karaoke machine?”

“Best one on the market.” I wink.

Had it set up for her in the living room for when the women helped her get ready this morning.

“I like to hear you sing.” She’s got a great voice, and even though she has no ambition of pursuing a career with it, there’s no reason she can’t enjoy performing, even if it’s just private concerts for me.

“The machine is huge. Where are we going to put it?”

“I was thinking the bedroom.”

“The bedroom?”

“Strip karaoke.” I wiggle my brows at her. “It’s a thing. Google it.”

“You’re so weird.”

I wrap my arms around her waist and growl into her ear, “Yeah, but you love it.”

She laughs as she’s pulled away by Makena, who ushers her over to two other women, one of which who looks twice as pregnant as Quinn.

“Great day,” Kade says coming to stand beside me.

“Perfect day.”

Kade nods, his smile faltering slightly as his gaze follows Lola, who’s trying to help Aiden keep the toddler from sticking sand in her mouth. He gives a heavy sigh and rubs the back of his neck.

I know where his thoughts go, and I sigh with the heaviness of it.

He got a call last week, from the Chicago City morgue, asking him to come and identify his wife’s body. I’d told him I’d go with him. But he’d refused. Not sure what he’d seen, but he hadn’t been the same since he’d been back.

I can’t help the guilt that still twists my gut when I think about the waste of her life. It hits me harder when I realize I could have shared her fate. That I almost did. It’s hard not to spend too much time in the darkness of that reality.

Life is fragile.

I never realized how precious it was until Quinn. I wasted way too many damn years on things that didn’t matter, allowing guilt to rule my actions. But no matter how many tomorrows I get, every single one of them will be spent cherishing the woman I love.

I glance over at Quinn who laughs at something one of the women says, and her gaze falls to mine, as if sensing me watching her. She smiles and the darkness is chased away.

This day isn't just a celebration of our commitment, it’s an affirmation that love exists, that it can thrive when a person isn’t afraid to grasp hold of it.

The thankfulness of what I have sweeps through me with a force that weakens me and leaves me breathless.

My wife. She’s the light in my darkness. The teacher of my damaged soul.

Laurence Olivier said that living is strife and torment, disappointment, love, sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. For too long, I’d only lived in the storms, not believing I deserved the sunsets. Still not sure I do. But I’ll revel in each one I’m given.

Because of Quinn.