It had been four days since the party and I had not seen Gunner yet. I talked to him on the phone every day at least twice a day. He called me first thing every morning because he wanted to be the first person I heard each day. Then every night he would call to tell me good night. By the third day, I was so excited just waiting for his calls.

It was Wednesday, and Ari and I were going to go looking at apartments. I was stressing out about it as I was going to have to work to help pay my share, and I was taking a pretty heavy load the first semester. Just then, I heard my phone buzz on the table and I reached over to answer it.

“Good morning, Gunner,” I said with as much of a purr to my voice as I could.

“Good morning to you, sweetheart. How did you sleep?” Gunner asked with a laugh.

“I slept okay. I have a lot on my mind, so I tossed and turned a lot. How about you? How did you sleep?”

“Like shit. Your smell is gone from my bed, so I can’t sleep in it anymore. I’m going to need you to come to my house right away, get naked, and roll around in my bed . . . while I watch of course!”

I let out a laugh. He always knew how to make me laugh. I loved to hear his voice over the phone. It made my whole body just tingle. Shit, if he only knew how much I would love to do just that, but . . . I couldn’t go there. We had to stay friends.

“The only way I would do that is if you had those blueberry muffins ready and waiting for me,” I said with a giggle. I shouldn’t be flirting with him like this, but damn . . . it was so much fun! Ryan never flirted with me like this.

“Fuck, Ellie, don’t tempt me or I’ll be baking all damn day! What’re you doing today? I want to see you,” Gunner said, so soft and sweet.

“Argh, Ari and I are going to look at apartments, so she made me block out my whole day for that. I’m not sure how this is going to work out though. I’m a bit nervous about it.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, it’ll all work out. Do you think we could go out for dinner tonight? Not on a date. Just as friends?” Gunner asked as I heard a bunch of people yelling in the background.

“Um, yes—I would love that! Where are you? It sounds like there is a party going on there.” I asked as I heard a knock on my door. Ari opened it and I waved for her to come in and sit down on the bed.

“Yeah, I’m at the gym,” Gunner said as he sounded a bit distracted.

“My goodness, what time do you get up to go to the gym, Gunner? It is only seven thirty in the morning!” I said as Ari started to giggle next to me.

“Jeff and I try to get in a run and a workout first thing each day. That way if I have the time, I can sneak in another one later on. Makes it easier for me to just get it done with in the morning and . . .”

Gunner’s voice trailed off. Then I heard Gunner start cursing.

“Oh, shit, I knew this was going to fucking happen,” Gunner shouted.

“Gunner? Gunner! What’s wrong?” I shouted back into the phone.

“Um, Ellie, sweetheart, I need to let you go for a second. Jeff has been sparring all week since the party, and he just got knocked out. Let me call you right back, okay, sweetheart?” Gunner said in what sounded like a bad attempt to keep me calm.

“What? Oh my God, is he okay? Gunner, please call me right back as soon as you can. I’m getting dressed now!” I shouted into the phone.

“Ellie, listen to me . . . calm down, okay? Give me five minutes and I’ll call you back.”

I started to cry. What the hell was Jefferson doing fighting? I managed to let out an “okay” before Gunner hung up.

“Jesus, Ellie what the hell is wrong?” Ari asked as I flew out of bed and started to throw on a pair of jean shorts and a UT T-shirt.

“It’s Jefferson! He’s hurt or knocked out or something! I don’t know!” I started to say in between my sobs.

“Jeff is hurt? Oh my God, how? Wait, let me go get dressed!” Ari flew out of my room while I went and brushed my teeth and threw my hair up in a pony. Please Gunner, call me back, please. My heart was beating so fast I could hardly stand it.

I was putting my sneakers on when Ari busted through the door again. She was already dressed.

“What’s going on, Ells?” Ari said with tears in her eyes.

“I’m not sure. I mean, I was talking to Gunner and he mentioned that he was at the gym. Jefferson must have been there with him. I heard all this yelling in the background, Gunner seemed to be distracted when he was talking to me, and then he started swearing and said something like he knew this was going to happen. Um . . . something about Jefferson had been sparring ever since the morning after the party and he just got knocked out! Oh my God, Ari, if anything happens to him . . .” I broke down and cried hysterically.

Ari took me in her arms. I saw her wiping away tears from her face as she rocked me back and forth.

“It’s okay, sweets . . . don’t worry. Gunner would never let anything bad happen to Jeff, and besides, Jeff is huge! Even if he was boxing with someone, he would for sure kick their ass! I’m sure it is going to be fine. Shhh, don’t worry, Ells . . .” I think Ari was trying to calm herself down more than she was me. I could tell she was just as worried as I was.

My cell phone rang.

“Gunner, please tell me he’s okay!” I practically screamed into the phone.

“Ellie, he is awake now, but he’s really confused. He has a big gash in his forehead and he is going to need stitches. I’m taking him to the ER right now,” Gunner said in such a calm voice.

“What do you mean he’s confused? Which hospital are you taking him to?” I saw Ari’s face drop when I mentioned hospital.

“Seton Main, but please be careful driving here, okay, sweetheart? Why don’t you make sure Ari drives, okay? I have to go so I can drive.”

“Okay! Please get him there fast, Gunner, and please be careful driving. I’ll get there as soon as I can.” I jumped up and grabbed my purse. Ari was still sitting on the bed.

“Ari! We need to get to the hospital now!” I shouted at her.

She jumped up and ran down the stairs. We both ran right into Ari’s dad.

“Hey, whoa, what is going on, girls? Why are you in such a rush, and why the hell are both of you crying?” Mark asked.

“It’s Jefferson. He’s been hurt and Gunner is taking him to Seton, so we need to get there!” I couldn’t believe I managed to get it out—my voice was shaking so bad. Ari just stood there . . . not saying a word.

Mark pulled out his cell phone. “Okay, well, there is no way either one of you is going to drive this upset. Let me get Brian, the chauffeur, to pull the car up and he’ll take you both.”

Next thing I knew, we were heading to the hospital and Ari was just sitting in the back seat with me staring out the window. I managed to stop crying when I got a text message from Gunner saying that they were at the hospital and they had taken Jefferson back.

My heart was beating so fast. I had not talked to Jefferson since Sunday morning, and I never even said goodbye to him when I left. The last thing we did was yell at each other. Oh my God, please . . . please, dear God, I’ll do anything . . . Please just let him be okay.

We pulled up at the ER, and I jumped out of the car. I turned around and Ari was just sitting in the back seat still.

“Ari? Are you coming, honey? Did you change your mind about coming with me?” I asked as she turned to look at me. The tears were just pouring down her face. She shook her head no and started to slide out of the car. I thanked Brian and told him we had a ride home.

I rushed into the ER, and the first thing I saw was Gunner sitting in a chair. He stood up as soon as he saw us walk in. I flew into his arms so hard he lost his balance for a second. I lost it and started to cry again.

“Shhh. Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. Don’t cry, baby, please don’t cry,” Gunner said as he stroked my hair with his hand. I grabbed onto his shirt and almost let out a yell, my hand was still hurting.

“What’s going on? How is he?” I said between sobs.

“Honey, they won’t tell me anything because I’m not family, so I don’t know what’s going on. Let’s head over to the nurse and let her know you’re here, okay?” Gunner said has he wiped the tears off my face.

I looked at Ari, who was sitting down. She had wiped her face clear of any evidence that she’d been crying. You could tell she’d been crying, though, because her eyes were red. I smiled at her, and she smiled a weak smile back at me.

“I’ll just sit here and wait, if that’s okay?” Ari said so quietly I almost had to strain to hear her.

I saw her take her iPod out of her purse and put her headphones in. I heard Colbie Caillat’s “Realize” start up and my heart broke. Shit, Ari must be feeling even worse than me. I didn’t even think about how this was affecting her.

Gunner took my left hand into his hand and guided me over to the nurses’ station. I looked back at Ari one more time and she just looked so scared and lost.

The nurse told us that Jefferson had a mild concussion and that he was confused about what had happened. He didn’t seem to have any memory loss that they could tell, but because he was a football player, the doctor wanted to do a CT scan. He also had a pretty big cut above his eye that they were putting stitches in.

I asked if they needed me to fill out any paperwork, but she told me Gunner had filled out most of the paperwork and I just needed to sign a few documents. I looked up at Gunner, who just gave me that crooked smile and my heart melted again. How will I ever survive without him in my life now?

“When can we go back and see him?” I asked the nurse.

“Once he comes back from getting the CT scan, I’ll take you back there. If the scan comes back normal, we will start the process of discharging him,” the nurse said with such a sweet smile. Of course I noticed how she kept eyeing Gunner. I guess that’s to be expected with how damn good-looking he is.

I thanked the nurse and walked over to where Ari was still sitting. She had her eyes closed and her music was blaring from her iPod. She was going to end up with a massive headache if she kept listening to music that loud. I sat down next to her and touched her arm. She jumped and opened her eyes. As soon as she saw me, she pulled the earbuds out.

“Well? Is he okay? Will he be all right? Do we know what even happened to him? What did they say?” Ari and her nervous jabber.

“Um, well, he’s okay. He has a mild concussion and he is a little confused, but they don’t think he suffered any memory loss. He has a really bad cut that they are putting stitches in. They did take him to do a CT scan just because he’s a football player and the doctor wanted to make sure everything is okay before they discharge him.” I saw Ari’s whole body relax just a little, and she let out a small sigh.

“So he can go home today?” she asked as she looked up at Gunner and then back down to me.

“Yes, if the scan comes back normal, but I’m sure it will. I’ve seen him take a lot harder shots in the head than what he took today,” Gunner said with a small smile.

“What happened? What is he doing fighting?” Ari asked Gunner as he took a seat on the other side of us.

“Yeah, what is this all about . . . has he been sparring every day? I didn’t think Jefferson had boxing as part of his workout routine,” I said as I reached for Ari’s hand.

I pretty much already knew the answer before I asked it. I remembered Jefferson sparring in high school to blow off steam. It was always after our mother had gone on one of her drunken escapades. Jefferson took a bad hit once and walked around school with a black eye the whole week. I asked him to stop doing it and he did—until now.

“Um, well, I guess this is just his way of letting off a little steam. He was pretty upset with himself the day after the party. He stayed in his room almost the whole day until he told me he was going back to the gym to do a little sparring. He’s been doing it at least twice a day. I tried to tell him he was going to get hurt, but he told me he needed to do it.” Gunner had been looking everywhere but at Ari and me. Ari squeezed my hand and looked at me.

“Just like when he was in high school,” she said as a tear rolled down her face.

“What do you mean just like in high school?” Gunner asked.

“When my mother used to go on a weeklong drunken binge—or sometimes longer—Jefferson would head down to the Y and started sparring with a few of the guys that were training for fights. He got hit so hard one time that he got knocked out and had a black eye. I made him promise me he wouldn’t fight anymore to let off steam. That’s when he took to running.” Just then the nurse walked up to us.

“Miss Johnson? Your brother is back from his scan and he’s asking for you. He can have two visitors at a time.” The nurse smiled a small smile at me and turned to Gunner and gave him a wink before she walked off.

I just rolled my eyes. Gunner didn’t even flinch or give her a smile back; he just kept looking over at me and Ari.

“Do you both want to head on back? I’ll wait here.”

Ari shook her head no. “No, that’s okay. I’m fine waiting out here for right now. I think the two of you should go on back first.”

I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the head. “Be back in a few minutes, sweets.” Ari gave me a weak smile as Gunner and I turned and walked toward the nurse’s desk.

When I walked behind the curtain and got a look at Jefferson my heart jumped in my throat. Oh. My. God. He looked terrible! I let out a gasp and threw my hands up to my mouth.

He opened his eyes and looked at me and then at Gunner. He looked behind us like he was looking for someone else . . . He was looking for Ari . . .

“Hey there, little Sis, what brings you here today?” he said with a chuckle.

“Dammit, Jefferson, this is not funny! You scared the shit out of us! You promised me you would never do this ever again. Why? Why did you do this?” I asked him, trying to bite back the anger I was feeling.

“What do you mean us?” Jefferson asked me.

“What?” Oh God, he is confused.

“You said ‘us.’ You scared the shit out of us . . . Who is ‘us’?” Jefferson asked me as he kept looking over my shoulder.

“She’s in the waiting room. They only let two come back at the same time. Ari had Gunner and I come back first,” I said, knowing now what he was asking.

“Jeff, do you remember what happened? Do you know why you’re here?” Gunner asked.

“Yeah, I remember why, Gun. I remember everything. I wish I didn’t. I wish I could just forget it all,” Jefferson said with such a lost look in his eyes.

“So all of this, Jefferson, all this fighting the last few days was because of what happened Saturday night?” I asked as I took his hand in mine. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, a tear rolled down his face and he squeezed my hand. His tear-soaked eyes captured mine.

“I’m so sorry I disappointed you. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. You’re all I have, Ells . . . I promise I will never disappoint you again. Please tell me you forgive me for being such a prick. Please, Ellie . . .”

My heart started to pound. Oh my God, Jefferson.

“Of course I forgive you, Jefferson. I love you more than anything, you know that. Jefferson, you can’t keep doing this . . . you have to stop. Having someone beat up on you like a punching bag is not going to make it go away. You have to talk to Ari. You have to tell her how sorry you are,” I said as I looked up at Gunner, who was watching me intensely.

“I’ve been trying to tell her I’m sorry. She won’t fucking answer her phone when I call. I’ve been texting her to please call me and she just ignores me!” The heart monitors they had Jeff connected to started to beep faster and faster . . .

“Jeff, dude, just calm down. Let me go out and get Ari. She’s right outside, Jeff. Let me go get her,” Gunner said as a nurse walked in.

“Mr. Johnson, is everything okay in here?” the nurse asked as she looked between Gunner and me.

“Jefferson, please just take a few deep breaths, okay? It’s all right, Gunner is going to get Ari right now. Everything is fine. He, um, just started to get a little upset. When can we take him home?” I asked as the nurse starting taking all of Jefferson’s vital signs.

“As soon as the doctor says he can leave, we can start on the paperwork. Until then, please try to keep him calm,” Nurse Meanie said as she walked back out the door.

“She’s pleasant. She been your nurse the whole time?”

Jefferson laughed. “Yeah, but she’s been pretty cool. I’m sorry I scared you, Ellie. I love you, Sis, more than life itself. I wanted to take you shopping last Monday for your graduation gift. Maybe we could do it tomorrow. What do you say?”

“Oh. What type of store do we need to go to for this gift?” I said as I hopped up and down. Jefferson was the BEST gift giver! I couldn’t wait to see what he was going to get me.

“A car dealership. That type of store,” he said with a smile.

“Wait, what? A car dealership? Shut the hell up, Jefferson! You’re buying me a car? Oh my God! How can you afford to buy me a car?” I practically screamed out.

“Sheesh, Ells, try to keep it down. There are sick people here, and my head is fucking killing me right now. Don’t worry about how I can afford it. I work, and I must say I’m a pretty damn good investor when it comes to money. Think about what kind of car you want, honey, and we will go shopping tomorrow.”

I started to jump up and down, I was so excited. The smile on Jefferson’s face melted my heart. Just then my phone beeped, alerting me to a text message. I grabbed it out of my back pocket. It was from Gunner.

Ari left . . . she left a message with the nurse that she was heading back home.

Fuck a duck! Why did she leave? I looked up at Jefferson. His smiled faded when he saw my face.

“She left, didn’t she, Ellie?” he said with such a sad look in his eyes.

“Yes, I’m afraid she did. I’m so sorry, Jefferson,” I said as I took his hand again in mine.

“S’okay . . . I didn’t even really expect her to be here after what I did to her, so it’s no big deal. Um, can you go see about getting me out of here? I’m really ready to get home.”

I nodded my head and headed out the door. When I walked out to the nurses’ station, Gunner was already talking about Jefferson being able to leave. They told him they were getting the paperwork together and it shouldn’t be much longer.

“Hey, everything okay with Jeff? Does he know Ari left?” Gunner asked as he held open his arms for me.

I melted into his body. Only he could take away the hurt I was feeling. Hurt for Ari, for Jefferson . . . Shit, my own damn hurt. It all just melted away in his arms.

“Yes, he knows she left. And no, he doesn’t seem okay. He’s hurting so bad, Gunner. What do I do?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I really don’t know,” Gunner said as he held me tighter in his arms.