Oh, holy hells bells. I’d never experienced anything like that before in my entire life! I wanted more. I needed more. I needed Jeff so bad that it physically hurt. I said it before I even knew the words were out of my mouth. I just came out and told Jeff I wanted to have sex with him . . . Oh God, why did I say that?

His face went white, and he stiffened.

“No, no, this was a mistake, Ari. This shouldn’t have ever happened.”

Wait . . . What? I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts. Did he just say what happened between us was a mistake? That it should never have happened?

“W. . .what?” I could barely get the word out of my mouth. How could he say that? That was the most magical moment of my life. I saw the way he was looking at me. He felt it, too. I knew he did!

“I’m so sorry, baby. I should’ve never let that happen. I promise you, I won’t ever do that to you again.”

Oh my God, I was so fucking confused I just wanted to scream. I threw my hands in my hair and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“What the hell are you saying, Jeff? How can you say that was a mistake? How . . . How can you do that to me . . . make me feel that way and then tell me it was a mistake. No! That was not a mistake! I do not for one minute regret any of it.”

Jeff pushed himself away from me and ran his hands through his hair. He looked me up and down and zeroed in on my shorts that were still unbuttoned.

“Jeff, I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long now, please don’t say that this was wrong.” I started to move toward him, but he put his hands up to stop me.

“No! I fucked up. I didn’t mean to do that, Ari. You . . . you have a boyfriend!” Jeff said as he looked at me shocked.

I shook my head. No, he was not going to use Jason as a way to get out of this.

“I don’t want Jason, I want you, Jefferson! I love you!”

He stood there and looked at me stunned. At first he seemed relieved when I said I didn’t want Jason, then his response turned to confusion, and now I didn’t know how to read his face. The emotions running across his face were starting to freak me out. He looked . . . angry?

He laughed. Why the hell would he laugh?

“You love me? No you don’t, Ari, you got caught up in a moment that I should’ve never let happen. It was a mistake. If I could take it back, I would. It didn’t mean anything.”

I felt the tears swell in my eyes. No, I would not cry. He didn’t mean what he was saying. How could he say this to me?

“I thought . . . but I thought you wanted me, Jeff. The way you were looking at me . . .”

He ran his hand through his hair again and turned away from me. I couldn’t move. I stood there watching him. He took a deep breath and turned around to face me again. There was no emotion on his face whatsoever.

“I’m sorry, Ari, if I led you on. I . . . I got caught up in the moment, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t mean anything, and I think we need to forget this ever happened.”

I can’t breathe. Oh my God, I can’t breathe. My whole world had turned the fuck upside down. The only man I had ever loved, ever wanted, just basically told me to fuck off. I felt a tear slide down my face. I couldn’t even move my hand to wipe it away.

Jeff’s looked like he was in pain. He stepped forward and reached out to wipe the tear away.

I stepped back.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Touch. Me. Again! You dirty, rotten bastard. I can’t believe you.” I lost it. I lunged at him and started to pound my fists in his chest.

“How could you? How could you do this to me?” He grabbed onto me and held me while I pounded my fists on his chest.

Oh God, my legs were giving out. I started to slide down onto the ground as he came down with me and held me while I cried. I hated him . . . I hated him with everything that I had.

No! He was not allowed to comfort me after he just ripped my heart out. I pushed him away and stood up. I heard someone driving up.

Jeff stood up and reached out for me. He had tears in his eyes, but I didn’t give a fuck.

“I. Hate. You!” I said through gritted teeth.

“Ari—”

“No. No, you don’t get to stand there anymore and tell me how you fucked up, you motherfucker! I will never, ever forgive you for this. Do you understand me, Jeff? Never! I hate you! I fucking HATE you!”

I screamed it so loud at him he jumped back in shock. I buttoned up my shorts and walked around to the other side of the Jeep. I was shaking from head to toe, and I felt sick to my stomach.

It looked like it was Drake driving up. Thank God. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Jeff right now. I felt like a cheap whore all of a sudden. How could I be so fucking stupid? To think that I stood there and asked him to have sex with me!

Drake pulled up in the ranch truck, jumped out, and started to walk toward the back of the truck.

“Hey! Mr. Mathews told me y’all took the Jeep out. He must have forgotten that Gunner told him it needed a new battery. I picked one up in town this morning.”

I turned to look at the asshole who was staring over at me still. He looked like he was going to throw up. I hoped he did. Maybe I would put something in his food at dinner tonight so he would get deathly sick and throw up all goddamn night. I turned away from him and walked over to Drake who was pulling the battery for the Jeep out of the back of the truck.

“Drake, I, um, I really need to get back to the house. Can you ride back up with Jeff, please, while I take the truck?”

“Ari, wait. We need to talk about—”

I spun around and glared at Jeff, stopping him midsentence. I never knew I could hate someone as much as I hated him right now.

“No, I believe you said all you needed to say, so now it’s my turn.”

I walked past a very confused Drake and got right up to Jeff.

“When I get back home to Jason, my boyfriend, you can better believe he won’t be telling me what a mistake it was after we get done fucking for the first time!”

Jeff briefly closed his eyes and then opened them again. His eyes looked like they were filled with pain, but I fucking knew better.

I turned around and stopped in front of Drake.

“Are the keys in the truck?”

“Ahh, umm, yes.” I kind of felt bad for the guy to have to stand there and hear all of that, but oh fucking well. I was done with all of this bullshit.

I barely made it back to the ranch house in one piece. I could hardly see through the tears running down my face. I saw Gunner and Ellie sitting on the porch with Emma. I tried to wipe the tears away, but they just wouldn’t stop. I pulled the truck down by the barn and started to make my way up to the house. I could see Ellie smiling at me, but as soon as she got a better look, her smile faded and she started to run up to me.

“Arianna. Oh my God, what’s wrong?”

“Your brother. Your brother is what’s wrong, Ellie. He is a dirty, rotten, good-for-nothing son of a bitch. I hate him. I fucking hate him.”

“What . . . what did he do?” Just then she threw her hand up to her mouth and started to shake her head.

“He didn’t . . .”

I started to laugh. That was a joke. “No, Ellie, I guess I’m a major turn off where that is concerned. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need to take a nice, long bath and then lay down for a while.”

“Ari, tell me what he did,” Ellie said as she grabbed my arm.

I turned to look at her, and the tears returned.

“He gave me hope for a few brief minutes, Ellie, then he ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground and buried it deep into the dirt with his boots.”

I turned and Gunner was standing there his hands balled up in fists. I tried to smile as I walked by and made my way up onto the porch. Emma stopped me and gave me a hug that caused another crying fit. She helped me into the house, led me into the upstairs bathroom, and drew me a hot bath while I sat there staring off into space.

How could I have been so stupid?

“Arianna, men are stupid creatures. Sometimes they love something so much it scares them, and they try to push it as far away as they can,” Emma said as she was pushing my hair back from my red, swollen eyes.

I started to shake my head no. “Emma, no man who loved a woman would ever say the things that he said.”

Emma let out a chuckle as she helped me get undressed. “You would be surprised, my darling girl. You would be surprised.”

I sat in the bath for I don’t know how long. I got out only when I couldn’t take the cold water any longer. I wrapped a towel around me and reached down to unplug the drain. I slowly walked into the bedroom Ellie and I were sharing. Ellie must have come in and laid out some clothes for me to change into—my comfy, blue PJ bottoms and a sleeveless white shirt. I climbed into them somehow. My whole body felt numb. I never knew one person had the power to hurt another person so badly.

I sat down on the bed and that is when I heard Ellie yelling at Jeff.

“How could you? How could you destroy her like that?”

Then I heard Jeff and Gunner arguing. I got up and walked to the window. I could see them standing down by the barn closest to the house. I couldn’t hear what Jeff said, but the next thing I knew Gunner punched him. Ellie jumped in front of Gunner and told him to stop. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

Shit! This was all happening because of me.

Garrett walked up and took Jeff by the arm and they walked off toward the stables. Ellie leaned back into Gunner as they watched them walk away. Jeff turned around and looked right up at the window I was standing in. It looked like he was crying.

No, that cold-hearted bastard didn’t have an ounce of love running through his veins.

I hated him . . .

All of a sudden, I got so tired.

Sleep. I just needed to sleep.