December

 

“I cannot believe you’re getting married, Amanda. What the fuck? Don’t you think this is a bit too soon?” Ari said for the fifth time since we picked Amanda up at her apartment.

“Ari, I’m madly in love with Brad, and he is madly in love with me. We want to get married as soon as possible, so no, I don’t think it is too soon.”

“Y’all just got engaged just over two weeks ago, for Christ’s sake!” Ari said, shaking her head.

Brad had asked Amanda to marry him on Thanksgiving right in front of his whole family. She of course said yes, and they immediately started planning a Valentine’s Day wedding. Classes were out for the semester, and I finally felt like I could relax. When Amanda called and asked if we could go check out the Driskill Hotel, we jumped at the chance to go and do something different.

Jeff was with Brad helping him fix something on his father’s boat, and Gunner was planning on meeting his cousin Shannon’s fiancé, James, who was flying in a day earlier than Shannon to catch up with Gunner. I guess Shannon and James were high school sweethearts and he went out to the ranch all the time when they were in high school. Gunner had not seen either of them in a few years, and they were getting married that weekend.

“Okay, ladies. So here is the drill. We’re going to look at two different ballrooms. I’m trying to keep this small, but I have a feeling Brad’s mother is going to give me an invite list a mile long. So keep that in mind. I’m thinking no more than three hundred people.”

“Three hundred people!” Ari and I both said at the same time with equal amount of shock in our voices.

“I know. I would like to keep it at one hundred fifty and that’s my goal, but I’m not sure the future monster-in-law feels the same way. So just keep reminding me of that while we’re looking. You’re my bridesmaids—this is your job.”

I had to giggle because Amanda was the type of girl who would have just run off to Vegas to get married, but Brad’s mother . . . she was something else. It shouldn’t take her long to figure out that Amanda was not going to put up with her shit.

We toured a few different banquet halls, and I knew Ari was just as bored as I was. I was in charge of taking notes, and I swear to God if Amanda said, “Did you write that down Ellie?” one more fucking time to me I was going to jam the notebook up her ass!

Argh, the dude giving us the tour was a stick in the mud. He was an older gentleman and he just kept talking about servers, bartenders, chairs, linens, votive candles, china, silverware, flutes, dance floors . . . Oh my God! I couldn’t take it anymore! Ari had walked ahead and was peeking in the doors to the kitchen.

We walked over and he was talking about catering.

“Ellie, did you get that written down?”

I just looked at her. “Yes. Yes, I did,” I said with a forced smile.

I saw Ari walking up to another door that led to the hotel rooms—now that’s what I wanted to see! I heard they were super romantic, and Brad was planning on staying the night at the hotel before they flew out to Barbados. Just then, I heard Ari suck in a deep breath of air.

“Holy fucking mother of all good, oh fucking shit.”

Our tour guide instantly stopped talking and looked at Ari. Amanda gave her a dirty look and I tried to hide my giggle. Ari walked up to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me toward the door to the hallway.

“Thanks, that was the most excitement I’ve had all damn day!”

“I thought you said Gunner was with his cousin’s fiancé today,” Ari said as she kept looking back at the door that lead down to the rooms.

“He is.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” She pulled me up and made me duck down and told me to look through the window.

Gunner? He was standing at one of the room doors. The door opened and I heard a girl shriek. She instantly jumped into Gunner’s arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Oh. My. God. This was not happening. No . . .

She looked so happy to see him, and he looked so happy to see her. Then she kissed him. Not a deep kiss but a quick kiss on the lips. Then he walked her into the room and they shut the door.

I collapsed to the ground. That motherfucker was cheating on me. I was about to cry . . . I looked up at Ari who grabbed my arm and pulled me up to my feet.

“Oh, no you don’t. Not here. Let’s go. Amanda! Code blue, now!”

Amanda spun around and looked at me and then looked at Ari.

“What? Now?” She turned and apologized to our tour guide. “I’ll be back in touch with you, but I loved everything! Thank you!” Amanda called out as she was running to catch up with us.

She finally caught up to Ari as we made it to the lobby, and Ari sat me down in a chair. I looked up at them both.

“Go,” they both said at the same time.

I lost it. I’d never cried so hard in my life. I was rocking back and forth, and all I could hear was my mother. You will never be wanted by anyone . . . I threw my hands over my ears. She needed to get the fuck out of my head! I wanted to scream. It was Bryce and Ryan all over again.

“I knew it. I told you, Ari, I told you that I had a feeling something was going on! I told you! He has probably been trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. Even Emma and Garrett were acting strange over Thanksgiving. He probably told them he was going to be breaking up with me.”

Oh my God, my chest was hurting. I couldn’t breathe. Amanda dropped to her knees and pulled my face up to meet hers.

“Ellie, look at me. If it’s true—”

“Mandy, I saw him! I saw her. She jumped into his arms and kissed him and then they walked into a fucking hotel room together.”

“If it is true Ellie, he doesn’t deserve you. He is a stupid-ass motherfucker who needs to have his ass kicked.” Amanda looked up at Ari. “We need Heather.”

Ari took out her cell phone and next thing I heard was Ari saying, “Code blue, and meet us at my place in thirty.”

I started to shake my head. I took a deep breath and then reached into my purse. I pulled out my cell phone. My hands were shaking. Ari looked at me and shook her head no. I put up my hand to her as I pressed Gunner’s number.

“Hey, sweetheart! You having fun with the girls?”

Fucking bastard . . .

“Yes, it’s been a very informative trip to say the least.”

“Ells, what’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“So are you with James, Gunner?”

“Ahh, yeah, we were just sitting here getting caught up on times and I got a little bit of a sur—”

“Don’t. Ever. Call. Me. Again. I never want to talk to you again, Gunner. Do you understand me?”

Ari reached down and pulled my arm to get me up and walking. She knew like I did, Gunner would be out of that room in five minutes tops, and the last thing I wanted was to see him.

“Ellie, what’re you talking about? What the fuck is going on now?”

“I saw you. I saw you with that girl. You fucking bastard, you kissed her! I saw it this time, Gunner, with my own goddamn eyes!”

Silence. Busted . . .

“Ellie, I don’t know who or what you saw, but it sure as fuck was not me kissing another girl. Where are you, Ellie?”

“I know what I saw and what Ari saw. We both saw you kissing on a girl, and believe me, you two were very cozy with each other and practically fucking out in public. I hate you. I hate you, Gunner!”

“Jesus Christ, Ellie, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Are you home? I’m coming there now!”

“Don’t bother, I won’t be there! Goodbye, Gunner, I hope she was worth it.”

I hung up the phone and started to cry. Ari was back on the phone with Heather.

“Scratch our last meeting place . . . we’re coming there.”

I spent the rest of the night crying and bitching and taking shots of something that burned like a bitch when it went down. I didn’t even know what the fuck I was drinking. I ended up turning off my phone because Gunner wouldn’t stop calling. Jefferson starting calling Ari’s phone, and when Ari told him what happened all I heard was Jeff screaming that he was going to beat the shit out of Gunner.

I finally passed out around three thirty. I woke up to banging on the door. I sat up, and oh my God, my head was pounding. Heather ran over to the door and peeked through. She turned back and said it was Jefferson. She opened the door slowly to make sure he was alone. Jefferson walked in, and as soon as he saw me, he came over and sat down on the sofa. Once I was in his arms, I started to cry again.

“Shhh, Ellie, honey, it is okay. Don’t cry, honey. Shhh. I saw Gunner last night when he came home. He was crazy out of his mind worried because he couldn’t find you. I don’t think he even thought to look here at Heather’s place.”

“I don’t care, Jefferson, I don’t care how worried he was, because he sure as shit wasn’t thinking about me when he was backing some bitch up into a hotel room!”

“Ellie, are you sure it was Gunner? He swore to me he was with his cousins, honey.”

I pulled away from him and just looked at him. Then I looked over at Ari, who shook her head.

“Yes! Ari saw him first. We saw him, Jefferson. With my own two eyes I saw him!”

“Okay, okay, I believe you. It’s just that he was in hysterics and just really seemed believable.”

“Yeah, well, who knows how long he has been cheating. No wonder I never see him.”

Jefferson looked over at Ari.

“Ellie, it’s been football season, honey, even I was MIA for a good part of the time.”

“I don’t care.” I started to shake my head. I was done. “I never want to see him again. Can you give me a ride home, please?”

Jeff stopped at HEB so I could pick up a few items to cook for dinner. I was not planning on leaving the house anytime soon.

“Ellie . . .” I heard my name and turned around. It was Jonathon Baker. I let out a sigh. I was not in the mood for him.

“Hey, Jon, what’s up?” I turned back around and grabbed some strawberries.

“Ellie, are you okay?” He looked at me with real concern in his eyes.

“No, Jon, I’m not. I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me, so no, I’m not really okay.”

“Fuck, Ellie, I’m sorry to hear that.”

I just kept on walking. I felt numb.

“Hey, listen, a bunch of us are going to Rebels tonight, why don’t you join us? I promise this is strictly a friend inviting another friend who might need to get her mind off some shit.”

At first I was going to say no, but then something came over me. I needed a night out and someone to get my mind off Gunner Mathews.

“Okay. What time should I expect you to pick me up?”

Jon looked pleased. A little too pleased, but right at that moment I didn’t care.

“Dinner first?”

What the hell . . .

“Sure, why not.”

“How about six?”

I nodded and tried to give him the best smile I could manage. “Sounds great . . . see you then.”

Jefferson lectured me all the way home about how I shouldn’t be going to Rebels tonight with anyone, let alone Jon Baker. I told him a bunch of people were going. I was ready for him to just shut up. I still could get a few hours of sleep in before Jon came to pick me up. My head was pounding. I needed to have my head clear tonight so I could put my plan in place: forgetting that Drew Mathews ever walked into my life, starting tonight at 6:00 p.m.

At five forty-five, the doorbell rang. He was early, that eager bastard. I had on a black dress that was barely halfway down my thighs, and red cowboy boots. My hair was half up and half down and I put just enough makeup on to make my eyes stand out. I looked one last time in the mirror. Shit, my eyes were red and swollen from crying.

I attempted to put on a smile as I swung the door open. My smile faded instantly.

Gunner . . .

I stared at him as he looked me up and down.

“You going somewhere?” He sounded pissed. Fuck, if anyone was going to be pissed, it was going to be me.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. I have a date, so if you don’t mind leaving? He’ll be here soon to pick me up.”

I started to shut the door, but he stopped it with his hand.

“I have nothing to say to you, so please leave.”

“Ellie, I was not fucking some girl last night. I don’t know why you keep doing this, but honestly, I’m getting really tired of this game.”

What?

“What game might that be, Gunner?”

“You and this insecurity bullshit you’ve got going on, Ellie. I’ve tried to be patient with you and bend over backward not to push you into anything too soon, and all you do is accuse me of not wanting you and always wanting someone else. It’s bullshit, and I’m fucking sick of it.”

“Well, good, then you don’t have to worry about any of that bullshit anymore, because we . . . are . . . done. Please leave now.”

“Who are you going out with, Ellie? Tell me right now!” Gunner yelled so loud it caused me to jump.

Just then Jon came driving down the driveway in his BMW. I closed my eyes and prayed that Gunner did not beat the hell out of him. Gunner turned and looked at the car, then slowly turned around and looked at me.

“Holy shit, Ellie, that was fast. Maybe you’ve had Jon all along on the side, huh?” I reached up and slapped him across the face. Jon got out of his car but stopped and stood there.

“I hate you. Do you hear me? I fucking hate you and I never want to see you again! Never!”

Gunner looked devastated, and I almost wanted to tell him how sorry I was and that I didn’t mean a word I just said, until I remembered that bitch wrapped around his body.

“Fine, if this is what you want, Ellie, don’t worry. I’ll never bother you again.”

Gunner turned and walked away from me. That’s it? He was just going to give up that easy?

I watched him get in his truck, peel out, and race down the driveway. I had to put my hand on the doorjamb to hold myself up. Then I turned, ran to the bathroom, and threw up.