Joel sipped on his coffee and tried to pretend like he wasn’t openly staring at Nick.

He hadn’t intended on inviting him to stay but then he was here, smiling at Janie and wrapping his hands around a mug that she had made in ceramics class last year, and Joel just really, really liked the way he looked in his house.

He liked the way he looked like he fit, like he belonged. Even with his too broad shoulders and red hair, he fit in their small beach house. It was an interesting thing for Joel to feel and the invitation blurted out quicker than he could think about it.

Watching Nick from just across the counter, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed, the way his eyes widened as he looked around the room and took things in that he hadn’t noticed earlier, the occasional sweep of his fingers through his hair—it was distracting and narrowing his focus into a tunnel vision that was all just Nick.

Though it had only been hours since they’d seen each other, it felt like longer. Their conversation in the kitchen that morning felt years away. Joel wanted to cross the kitchen and sit next to Nick again, feel the sharp electric spark that had been between them this morning. He couldn’t shake the phantom feeling of Nick’s knees pressed to his. Couldn’t stop remembering the way he had swayed closer, absently, and Nick had fallen, too, as if neither of them were deciding but had just been—compelled. Almost as though Joel had just been following an unwritten script that he didn’t know about before, but now desperately wanted to get to the ending.

His daughter’s voice broke through his inner-monologue and he started, heat rushing to his cheeks as if she knew what he had been thinking about.

“Dad,” Janie didn’t look up from the book she was still pretending to study. “What’s for dinner?”

Joel blinked. He had forgotten to prep anything.

This whole day had really gotten out of control. He had barely done any work, had forgotten his lunch, invited a stranger into his home for a second night, and completely forgotten to prepare his daughter’s dinner. He was not doing a good job at his life today.

Nick seemed to notice his hesitancy. “I could make something,” he offered, looking between Joel and Janie. “You know, show my hospitality and all that.”

Janie glanced up at that. She quirked an eyebrow in a perfect judgmental replica of his own incredulity. “Can you even cook?”

Nick placed a hand over his heart and made a wounded expression. “Janine,” he said, shaking his head. “Ye of little faith.”

She giggled and turned back to her book. “Whatever, then.”

Nick looked over to Joel and lifted one shoulder, as if to say, well?

Joel weighed the odds of this turning into a disaster or him being poisoned and figured that it was pretty slim. Worst case scenario was probably just them ordering a pizza and cheesy bread. “Sure,” he agreed. “If you’d like.”

“I would like, thank you very much,” Nick hopped off the stool and stretched, letting out a little half groan yawn. “One sec.”

Joel watched, surprised, as Nick left the house completely. He and Janie exchanged a look but before either of them could come up with anything, Nick came strolling back in with a bag on his shoulder and a grin on his face. He disappeared into the hallway and when he returned, shook his hands at Joel.

“Okay. Shoo. It’s time for me to get to work.” He said.

Joel chuckled, ignoring the way Janie’s head shot up at his laugh. “I could help you, you know.”

“Yes,” Nick seemed to contemplate the offer. “But it wouldn’t be half as hospitable if I put you to work.”

“Sure, Chef,” Joel joked, putting his empty coffee mug in the sink and retreating to the living room. He plopped onto the couch next to Janie and threw an arm over her shoulder. She glared at him but didn’t slink away, so he counted it as a win.

“Dietary restrictions?” Nick asked from the kitchen.

Joel glanced over at him and froze when he saw the way Nick was standing, hands on his hips with an apron tied around his waist and a dish towel over his shoulder. Nick grinned, a wide, boyish smile that looked twice as mischievous as it did friendly. He’d tucked his hair behind his ears and Joel fought the urge to go over and be closer to him.

“Walnuts,” Janie called back. “And peanuts, but to a lesser degree. Definitely no walnuts.”

“Definitely no walnuts,” Nick parroted back, nodding. “Burgers okay? It looks like you guys have everything I’d need.”

Another long pause. Joel tried very hard to convince his throat to work.

“Burgers are Dad’s favorite,” Janie elbowed him. Joel winced and pulled away slightly.

“Ah, you and me, both, Joel,” Nick winked at him and then went to the fridge, digging around. Joel managed to tear his gaze away when he realized he was just blatantly staring. His neck felt hot and he turned too fast to Janie.

She looked up at him, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “Um, can I help you?”

“Yes.” A distraction, that was what he needed. He needed something to force his attention off of the man in the kitchen. “Let’s play a game.”

“A game?” Janie repeated. She scrunched her nose and looked at him hard. “Like, a game?”

“Yes, a game,” he decidedly did not huff. “Could play Monopoly or something?”

“You want to play Monopoly?” She repeated him again.

Joel threw his hands up in defeat. “If you don’t want to—”

“I didn’t say that,” Janie said, leaning back. She eyed him warily. “It’s just, we’re not really a board game family.”

“Well, no time like the present, right?” He pushed off of the couch and went to the bookshelf on the far wall behind them. There were just a few games. He was pretty sure half the bones in Operation was missing and that they didn’t have the spinner for Life anymore. He should really buy them new ones but, as much as he was going to pretend she wasn’t, Janie was right; they really weren’t a board game family.

But Joel’s skin at the back of his neck itched with anticipation every time he glanced in the kitchen and he wasn’t really sure what that was about. He didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to—to play a game.

“What’s the verdict, Jane?” He called behind his shoulder.

He heard Janie heave a sigh, one large enough it must have taken all the air out of her tiny body. He smirked at the wall and made sure not to show her how much he enjoyed her dramatics. Then, with more energy than she’d had all night with her homework, said, “I call the car.”

“Dibs on the shoe,” Joel replied.

He grabbed the game from the high shelf and carried it back to the coffee table. Janie was already clearing it of books. “Nicolas, you playing?”

Joel couldn’t help himself. He looked up for the answer.

Nick had the ground beef in his hands, shaping it into a patty. He shot Janie a quick smile before refocusing on his work. “That’s okay, Janine, I’m a bit busy.”

“We can wait,” she offered. It was polite but Joel had the urge to scold her. He wanted a distraction.

“No worries,” Nick said. “Maybe I’ll join later. It’s more realistic that way, not everyone starts out with stuff at the same time.”

Janie frowned. “That’s unfair,” she pointed out.

Nick sat the patty down and picked up another fistful of meat. “Maybe,” he agreed. “But it’s more interesting that way.”

“Janie,” Joel said, pointing at the ready board. “Want to roll first?”

She grabbed the dice and was happily distracted. She only rolled a three but Joel let her go first anyway.

Janie liked to throw in rules that made no sense, like telling him that it was illegal for him to work on the Sabbath, so every seven turns he had to let her go first because she was not religious while he was—she claimed it was the luck of the draw. She also mandated that he give her twenty percent of his earnings as child support. Each time she mentioned a new rule that Joel was expected to give into immediately, and which he always did, they could both hear the tinkling of Nick’s laughter from the kitchen. Each time Janie preened at the approval and Joel preened at Janie’s obvious happiness.

Despite the clanking of dishes and the occasional curse when Nick must have burned himself, not to mention the constant thrumming underneath his skin that he couldn’t place or understand, the game did manage to distract him. Janie’s rules made it more complicated and required a lot of his concentration just to stay a relevant competitor.

Before they had even gotten to adding hotels to the board, Nick was triumphantly standing before them with two steaming plates. “Supper is served!”

Janie looked up, grinning. “Yum!”

“Yum indeed, young Janie.” Nick winked at her. She rolled her eyes but was smiling, pleased.

“Can we just eat here, Dad?” Janie asked, turning her puppy dog eyes on him. It was really unfair. She had washed off all the makeup on her face and was still smiling, even as she pouted at him. She was much too adorable to turn down.

“Sure, yes,” he sighed, as if put out. Janie whooped and grabbed a throw pillow from behind her on the couch.

“Here!” She sat the pillow next to her. “Sit.”

Joel smiled at the invitation. “Here,” he offered her a plate and then Joel. “Drinks?”

“Coke?” Janie asked, looking at Joel. He nodded at her and she repeated her request with more confidence.

“There’s beer in the fridge,” Joel said, nodding towards it. Nick grabbed his own plate and came back with a coke can and two bottles of beer.

He passed out the drinks and sat on the cushion Janie had procured for him, putting him in between the two of them. It was a tight fit and Joel should probably just have sat on the other side of the couch. But his knee was knocking into Nick’s again and that bright, sharp attention was there, and he wasn’t quite ready to move away. Nick’s eyes flickered over to him and then away again and Joel let himself pretend that maybe Nick felt that, too.

The burgers were great and Joel couldn’t help the quiet groan of appreciation when he took his first bite. Nick’s ears turned red at the sound and Joel apologized. “These are so great, though,” he tacked on, taking another huge bite. Janie told him not to eat like a pig and he rolled his eyes at her.

They ate in near complete silence, the game barely moving forward. Janie made a few moves but mostly ate with a gusto that Joel would have been offended for his own cooking if he wasn’t eating with the same enthusiasm. Nick opted to just watch them play, claiming he had already labored for the day. Janie tried glaring and pouting at him but he remained unmoved. Joel was duly impressed by his strength of character to deny Janie anything.

“That was so good,” Joel said when he was finished. He plucked a fry off of Janie’s plate and chewed it, thoughtfully. “How did you get so good at making burgers?”

Nick scrubbed a hadn't through his hair and shrugged. “My best friend’s a chef?”

“That’s so cool!” Janie said, hopping up to her knees. “See? This is why you need to come to my show and tell. You’ve got good stories, Nicolas.”

Nick rolled his eyes at her. “Is that so?”

Joel had no idea what they were talking about. “Um, what?”

“Nick,” Janie gestured towards him, leaning across him to look at Joel earnestly. “I want him to come be my thing for show and tell.”

“I am a person,” Nick said, exasperatedly.

Janie ignored him completely. “Listen to that. That voice. I’ll be a hit. We’ll make him say country phrases like yee-haw.”

“My voice is not that country,” Nick frowned at her.

Joel shrugged. “Well, actually.”

Nick turned to him with a look of pure betrayal. “Traitor!”

“It’s not my fault you grew up in a corn field!”

“Wheat field,” Nick corrected. “But, true, I suppose.”

“I’m going to get you to agree,” Janie warned him, standing up. She towered over him and pointed a finger in his face. “Just you wait.”

“Oh, bring it,” Nick said, cockily. Joel watched them both, amused as Janie stormed out of the room.

“Where are you going?” He called after her, laughing.

Janie threw her hands up and kept her pace. “To take a shower!”

Joel laughed, shaking his head, and looked to Nick. He was grinning at where Janie had disappeared.

Glancing over at Joel, Nick’s lips quirked. “I’m totally going to be her show and tell guest, aren’t I?”

Joel nodded. “Definitely. Can't argue with Hurricane Janie.”

“It would be dumb to even try,” he nodded, wisely. Joel laughed again.

Nick turned to him, shifting on the cushion. Their plates were stacked on the table next to the abandoned Monopoly board and Nick held his beer by the bottle’s neck, fingers curled around it. His new position put them even closer together and Joel knew he should scoot away. There was plenty of room around the table to not be pressed together.

Nick’s smile fell a little, morphing into something more contemplative. His eyes fell to Joel’s mouth and Joel’s skin lit up.

His breath hitched in his throat. Curling anticipation heated his stomach and fingertips. Joel watched, a little helplessly, as the green of Nick’s eyes darkened, the black pupil growing as his gaze stayed locked on Joel’s mouth.

Unable to stop himself, Joel’s own gaze fell.

Nick’s lips were parted and pink. They looked full and soft, and then Nick’s tongue peeked out of his mouth and swiped wetly across his bottom lip.

Joel couldn’t name the feeling inside his chest. It was acute, almost like pain. He knew what it felt like to break and to fall apart, the way his body could keep standing as everything inside of him was stripped to ribbons.

He was standing now on the precipice. All he needed was a little nudge and he’d fall right over, wind catching him as he plummeted into the unknown.

Nick breathed out. It ghosted across Joel’s own lips and he opened them, eyes closing, and then Nick was on him.

Joel’s feet crushed the rocks beneath them as he clung to the edge of a cliff, toes digging in for balance.

One hand wound into his hair and the other into his shirt, tugging them closer together.

Joel suddenly didn’t care at all if he was thrown over the edge.

Joel put one hand on the table for leverage and the other on the back of Nick’s neck, tilting his head and kissing him harder, better, deeper.

His mind shut off completely. He didn’t think about his daughter in the other room, or the inappropriateness of kissing a near stranger, or the fact that he didn’t kiss people, let alone men.

He didn’t think about anything.

He just pressed his lips harder and his mouth opened wider. The kiss started in his lips but spread out, the bright, furious little sparks spread through his cheeks, down his neck and arms and torso, dipping all the way to his toes. He felt electrified.

He pulled back with a desperate breath, breathing heavily as his aching lungs struggled for air. His eyes opened slowly and Nick’s opened a half second afterwards.

“Fuck,” Nick whispered, the sound like gravel against his skin. “Holy hell, man.”

His eyes were pupil-blown and his lips were spit-shiny and Joel let out a rushing breath, his lungs struggling all over again at the picture Nick created.

Joel looked at him and he fell over the edge.