Nick drove for days.

He stopped at gas stations and a motel each night, sleeping as little as possible. He was rushing, like there was something desperately important for him to do once he got to the coast. He ate sandwiches from dives and tried not to think about what was—or in this case, wasn’t—waiting for him at the end of the road. There wasn’t anything there, despite the anticipation that curled around his thoughts and bones.

He was rushing for nothing. He drove faster anyway.

He liked the itch under his skin, the way his bones cracked a little too easily when he stood tall after each long stretch in the car. He liked that he didn’t know where he was going except straight ahead, to the water.

He’d never seen the ocean before. He wondered if it would feel like home.

The drive was twenty-five hours and some change. Nick became intimately familiar with the few playlists he had downloaded on his phone and by the time he was pulling past the Californian border three days after he started, he had every line to Don’t Fear The Reaper memorized along with an elaborate shoulders-and-up-only dance.

He was pretty excited to show the guys when he got back to Poplar. Peter loved that song and Nick thought if he put a little extra into the performance, he could ruin it completely for his friend.

The break into California lifted Nick’s already high spirits.

He stopped after another hour to buy a state map, a bottle of water, and a tuna sandwich that he was only half certain he’d end up regretting. His phone map got him to the state pretty well but Drew’s suggestion of “California” only got him so far. He had no idea where he was actually going.

Nick spread the map on the hood of the junker, sandwich hanging haphazardly from his mouth. He used the water bottle as a paperweight for the top left corner and after putting his elbow on the bottom right, he grabbed his sandwich from his mouth. He chewed slowly, looking at the map contemplatively.

If he was being honest, he hated using paper maps. If he was being completely honest, Nick didn’t really know how to use paper maps. But this was as good a way as any for him to see where he was and all the options left in front of him. Plus, he could frame the map for the bar when he got back. He liked the idea of holding onto this little souvenir.

There were a lot of towns on the coast. He wasn’t sure why that was surprising but for some reason, it was. It was overwhelming, seeing the multitude of options stretched out along the tan line against the blue ocean. Drawing a shakily straight line with his pointer finger towards the edge, he narrowed down what looked to be like the shortest drive from where he was and stared at the few names that were there on the map.

He finished his sandwich and shrugged. Nick had picked a general direction. He’d just drive north until he hit water.

Nick climbed back in the car and turned the engine on. He scrolled through his playlists before deciding on the longest one that had no country music. It was a silly thing but it helped put him in the mindset of someone not from a wheat field.

He rolled the windows down and let one arm hang out, head bobbing to the music. The road was nearly empty and his excitement was starting to pepper into nerves.

There was something waiting for him at the end of the road. He just knew it.

Less than two hours later, Nick pulled the junker to the side of the street, throwing on the parking brake and wishing for the best. He had no idea how the hell this car survived the trip and he was a little afraid that asking it to do anything more would result in a fiery explosion. But the only parking spot was on the hill so it was just going to have to stay put. There was a good chance Drew would kill him in retribution if anything happened to the junker.

He climbed out of the car, putting one hand on the roof and closing his eyes.

He could smell the ocean. The salt water permeated the air around him and Nick’s excitement bubbled underneath his skin, shifting just a bit as it calmed into a joy instead of an anticipation.

The area looked more residential than public and he considered turning back. He didn’t really know beach laws but if they were anything like private farm land, he could probably get in a lot of trouble for trespassing.

But from the road, he could see the water. His anticipation was still too strong and he drove too far to turn back now.

Screw it, he decided. He locked the car and started on his way.

It was only a five minute walk until, suddenly, there was sand everywhere.

Nick grinned and looked around. The beach was empty as far as he could tell, except for a little girl playing in the sand by the water. It validated his private property theory but he didn’t take the little girl for a rat so he just ignored the nestlings of semi-guilt.

Instead, he took off his shoes and socks, depositing them in a little dip in the sand. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and turned around, quickly snapping a photo of himself with the water behind him. He grinned and sent it to the group chat with his friends, adding the caption, “guess where I am, bitches?” then laughing at the immediate outcry from Ash. Nick ignored it, deciding to wait until he had everyone’s reply to answer any of their questions, and dropped the phone by his shoes. He walked closer to the water.

His toes dug into the sand. It was hot on the soles of his feet, almost warm to the point of pai. But the feeling stayed just on the right side of it, a pleasurable feeling. He laughed. The sound vibrated through his chest, loud and joyful. He listened to it and imagined it getting caught on the wind, the waves grabbing it and sweeping the happy sound back into the endless sea.

Something unfurled in his chest.

He breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly. He felt his limbs real and his whole body sink a little deeper in the sand.

The waves crashed into the sand, a bit wild. The water was almost crazily blue, so much bluer than he thought it could be. The sky worked hard, just as bright, to blend into the horizon.

It was breathtaking.

He really wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

Yip!

Nick jumped, the little sound breaking through his thoughts and startling him. He looked around on the beach. There was no one there.

Ah! Ahh! Y-yip!

Nick frowned, squinting. The sound was a little choked, but maybe it was just the water crashing into stuff.

But then—

Ahh!

The sound came from where he was looking, and just a little, he could see someone out in the water.

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, taking a few huge steps towards the water. He cupped his hands around his eyes to block out some of the sun and squinted.

There, far out towards the horizon, was a bobbing body, hands flailing before going back underneath. He couldn’t tell if it was someone small or if they were just farther out than he thought but either way, they were clearly not handling the waves well. Nick looked around. The rest of the beach was empty.

The little girl who had been playing in the sand was nowhere to be seen.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” he chanted, ripping off his flannel over shirt and letting it fall behind him as he ran towards the water. He ran straight in, not stopping his sprint until he was so far in the water that he had to swim.

Nick was not a very strong swimmer.

His adrenaline pumped beneath his skin, his heart pounding and his head still aggressively repeating curse words. He swam towards the little yipping of what he really hoped wasn’t a little girl.

A wave crashed into him, sending him a little off his path, and he opened his eyes underneath the water to see the girl, hair flowing around her and hands splashing uselessly beneath the surface of the ocean.

He made it to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, yanking her up as they broke through the water.

She gasped and choked and he shifted her up so her body was nearly all the way out of the water, swimming carefully back towards the beach.

“Breathe, breathe, careful,” he said, over and over, trying to pretend like the hysterics in his voice weren’t obvious to her.

His legs felt like heavy jello, boneless but a thousand pounds as he shifted from swimming to walking, shifting the little girl as little as possible.

He tried to set her down on the sand and her legs gave in, crumbling beneath her as she cried.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he kept saying in between giant inhales of his own. Panic was on the edge of his vision and it looked a lot like black emptiness. He started and realized he was, like, seconds away from passing out. “Holy shit,” he whined quietly, trying to get control of his breathing enough that he didn’t abandon this little girl with an unconscious mess.

“I can’t breathe!” She cried out, the first words he’d heard her say. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and she was shaking, or maybe rocking, or maybe both. She looked wrecked. Where the fuck were her parents?

“Yes you can,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. Her little shoulder gave way to the heavy weight of his hand. Her head snapped up and his heart clenched at the trembling on her face. Her eyes were watering and her hair was plastered to her head. Her mouth was still open, trembling, and her cheeks were too pink. She was a cute, sweet little girl and he wanted to hug her. “You can breathe because you’re talking.”

“Oh,” she frowned and her body relaxed, just a small amount. “Oh, okay.”

He squeezed her shoulder and she leaned into the touch. He tried to think of something to say, anything to break the worried expression off of her face, when a curling scream broke it apart for him.

“Janie! Janie! JANIE!”

Nick turned his head just in time to see a blur of a man shoving into him. The full of weight of a body smashed into him, both of them tumbling over with the pressure. Nick let out a little yell and crashed into the sand, shoulders and head digging a bit into the soft ground. He laid there, surprised, as the body that had hit him scrambled up.

“Dad!” the girl snapped, her voice at once both shocked and scolding. “What are you doing?”

“Get the fuck away from my daughter or I swear to God, I’ll—”

“Dad!”

The man, who apparently was the little girl’s dad, towered over him, chest heaving.

Holy hell, he’s hot.

Nick probably shouldn’t have thought that. At least, not right now, when he was definitely in danger of being punched in the face. Or honestly just drowned. They could just leave his body for the fishes. No one would ever know about it—Drew would think that he had stolen the junker. He was going to be so pissed at him.

“Um, hi,” Nick said, awkwardly. He leaned up on one elbow, pushing himself slightly off the sand, and held out his other hand. “Nice to meet and hopefully not be murdered by you.”

“What?” The man’s voice was demanding but Nick had too much saltwater in his brain to connect any dots. “Who are you?”

The man had really dark hair, like a mop of unnecessarily black, curly hair, and his eyes were very bright. Like the sea. He had sea eyes. It was distracting.

“Nick?” He offered a beat too late.

The man lost interest in him and moved out of his space, dropping to the water and grabbing the girl. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

Nick kind of wanted to pull the girl away. He was only ninety percent sure this towering, smoking hot guy was her dad.

But the girl melted into his grip and Nick figured he was just being protective through their intense, water-based bonding. He struggled to sit up. The sand was stuck to him everywhere.

“I was just swimming!” she said, her tiny voice muffled by her dad’s shoulders.

“You weren’t supposed to be swimming, you said you were reading!” The man sounded as hysterical as Nick had felt.

His heart clenched again. He couldn’t imagine the way the guy must be feeling—finding his daughter soaking wet and crying in the grip of a stranger. Just because he hadn’t actually done anything but get the girl from the water didn’t mean that the poor guy knew that.

“I was just swimming.”

The dad turned back to Nick, his eyes narrowed but his body now focused on cuddling his daughter and not beating the shit out of Nick, so he didn’t mind the mean look as much. “What are you doing here?”

Nick blinked, trying to control the sudden burst of nerves that exploded inside his veins. “I—just got here. I’m just passing through.”

The man lifted his eyebrows, expression bordering on incredulous. “You’re a drifter?”

“Only technically. And not usually.”

The little girl squirmed out of her father’s grip and plopped into the sand. Her brown hair fell in her face and she shoved it back hard. “Thanks,” she said to him.

Nick was going to have to get his heart checked out if this stupid, adorable kid kept talking to him. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Kind of do,” she argued, jutting her chin out. Then she turned to her dad. “I’m cold.”

“Oh,” the guy blinked and started nodding rapidly. “Yeah, yeah, okay, Janie. Let’s go home.”

Janie. He needed to remember that.

“Can he come with us?” Janie asked, pointing to Nick.

Nick opened his mouth to decline, but then he shifted and the sand and water on his body had started to congeal into probably some sort of paste—could sand even do that?—and if he had to walk the five minutes back to his car, it might kill him. So he kept his mouth shut and looked at the guy.

He looked between Janie and Nick. “Yeah,” he said, though his sigh made Nick want to decline again. “We live just right up there.”

Nick looked up the hill and saw the house that the man had nodded to. He shifted as he stood up and the sand went places and he decided that, yeah, he was going to go to their house. Weird as it was, he was just going to do it.

The guy moved to pick Janie up and as Nick watched, he couldn’t help but think about what would have happened if he hadn’t been there. If he hadn't decided to go on this trip, if he hadn’t taken the junker and needed to stop for gas every few hours, if he had looked at that map and picked a different direction.

It was a thousand and one things that led him to the beach that day.

For the first time in a long, long time, Nick felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. For the first time, Nick had done something important—something that’s purpose was bigger than himself. He watched this man scoop his daughter in his arms and Nick’s chest constricted. His heart felt fuller than it ever had.