Joel’s hands folded over his daughter’s shoulders, his fingers nearly bruising in their grip. Normally, Janie would be squirming to get away from him, muttering words that were closer to curses than complaints. But instead, she was shaking like a leaf, her wet brown hair plastered to her face and her small, thin body pressed against him.

He knew that he was shaking, too. His shoulders kept nearly caving into his chest and his head pounded as if he’d been the one to swallow the ocean’s salt water.

His daughter had nearly drowned.

His Janie had nearly drowned. He’d only been in the kitchen— and Janie was supposed to be on the beach reading and instead she was under the waves and she’d nearly drowned.

If that man hadn’t been there—if the beach had been empty like it usually was this time of day—

An oncomingsob threatened to choke him. He swallowed heavily and tightened his grip on his girl.

He bent down and swept her up into his arms, cradling her to his chest like she was still an infant. His chest constricted painfully. “Come with me,” he said over his shoulder to the man who had pulled Janie from the water. He voice scratched a bit too hard, a bit too gruff, especially after yelling at the man.

But his head felt like it was made out of cotton and all he wanted was to get Janie in dry clothes and put her in bed, where she was safe.

She didn’t say anything about being held to his chest so he continued to maneuver his way through the sand and up the stairs. The kitchen door was still swung wide open from when he’d run out. He could hear the stranger behind him, his own soggy clothes making a terrible squishing sound as he moved. Joel gently set Janie down and she clung onto him for just another minute.

“Towel,” she mumbled, then turned to the man. Joel reluctantly let his own gaze be torn from his daughter to look at him as well. “I’ll go get you a towel.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, offering her a quirk of a smile. He looked at her fondly and it made Joel as angry as it did glad. Janie headed off toward the bathroom and Joel let his attention fully focus on his daughter’s savior.

The man was dripping wet, which was hardly a surprise. His black t-shirt clung to his chest, tight enough that Joel could see the curves and dips of his muscles. His jeans were equally plastered onto his legs, long with thick thighs. He wasn’t wearing shoes.

Joel frowned and stared at the man’s face. He knew most people considered it impolite to stare; Angela had told him that a dozen and a half times a week. This man didn’t seem to mind though. His face burned a little pink, clashing with the bright red hair that was too long and curling around his ears, but otherwise just stared back.

He looked friendly. Nervous, but that was fair. Joel often made people feel nervous. He didn’t appear to be a threat and, considering the fact that he’d thrown himself into the ocean to save Janie, Joel really didn’t have a leg to stand on in regards to not trusting the stranger.

Feeling better about having him in his home, Joel nodded to himself.

“My name is Joel Cetokavich.” Joel said after a long beat. He stuck his hand out.

The man’s shoulders leapt, as if he was surprised to hear Joel speak. He blinked owlishly before grabbing Joel’s hand in his, shaking it firmly. “Heya, Joel. I’m Nick.”

Joel liked the way Nick’s smile started with his eyes and extended into his voice. It reminded him of the way Janie looked like when she was just a baby, always open and friendly. The comparison startled Joel and his hand dropped. He shoved both of his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you,” he found himself saying. His voice sounded rough even to his own ears, as if he really was the one that had been choking on salt water. “For what you did.”

Nick lifted a hand and waved it before shoving it in his hair. He spread his fingers and let the strands get caught between them. “No worries, man. Anyone would’ve.”

Joel disagreed. It was dangerous to just jump in the water and even if anyone would have wanted to, not everyone would move that quickly.

He opened his mouth to say so when Janie chose that as her moment to reenter the room. She was changed, her hair wrapped up in a towel, and she held out a few to Nick.

“Here,” she said, her tone a small replica of the gruff one that her father used. Clearly, both Cetokavich’s needed to work on how to express gratitude. His heart swelled a bit with fondness for her. “You’re dripping on the floor.”

Nick glanced down, surprised. He accepted the towel from Janie’s outstretched hands. “Thank you,” he smiled.

Janie frowned. Then she shrugged. “You, too.”

She hopped up on the stool by the kitchen counter, folding her hands together. Joel thought he could see them trembling. He went to the other side of the counter and leaned against it, his arms extended onto the countertop. He flickered his gaze to Nick, but the man seemed busy with scrubbing his hair with the towel. He turned back to Janie.

“Do you want some tea?” He asked, quietly. “Or cocoa?”

Janie perked up. “Can I have some coffee?”

Joel raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me. You’re twelve.”

She jutted her chin out, giving him an offended expression. “And just been through a traumatic experience. I deserve a little pick me up.”

Joel remained unfazed. “And you think caffeinated beans is the way to go?”

Janie sat straighter, shrugging and swept her hands away from each other as if to say what can you do? “I don’t make the rules.”

“Funny,” he pointed at her. “Good news is, I do. No coffee for you.”

Janie let out an undignified squeak of protest. “I bet you’d give him coffee!” She jerked a thumb towards Nick.

Joel dragged his eyes over to the man who had wide eyes and was frozen, as if trying not to give either of them any more ammunition. Joel rolled his eyes. “First of all, he saved your life.”

“Only cause I had a life that needed saving. I was a part of that,” she interjected.

“Secondly, he’s a grown man.” Joel paused and gave Nick a once over, then amended, “I think.”

Nick let out a disgruntled huff while Janie snorted. “Fine,” she conceded. “Hot cocoa. With whipped cream.”

Joel smiled. “Perf—”

“And marshmallows! Don’t forget themarshmallows!” She interjected quickly, grinning.

Joel slapped the countertop, nodding. “Okay.” He flickered a look towards Nick while going to the fridge. “And for you?”

Nick hesitated. His face was beet red and Joel remembered that he was essentially trapping the man in his home with niceties.

“I mean, do you want something? Or, you could leave? Or—you don’t have to,” he added quickly after seeing the glare Janie shot him.

Nick looked between them. Janie sighed heavily, as if she was forty years older and dealing with small children. Joel focused on shaking the amusement from his face before she saw. “Dad,” she said slowly, and he nodded seriously. “Go get this guy some dry clothes before he chafes.”

Both men winced. Janie gestured for him to go down the hall. Joel held his hands up in mock surrender. “Jeez, kiddo, fine.”

He headed towards his bedroom, pausing when he heard Janie groan out, “Are you kidding me? Go with him, for God’s sake!” followed by a rushing of footsteps.

Joel bit back a laugh and continued to his bedroom.

Nick waited outside the door, leaning against the frame. “She’s—”

“Bossy?” Joel supplied, lifting a t-shirt from his dresser. It was old and faded and if he never got it back, he’d not be too upset. “Jeans or sweats?”

“Oh—anything.”

Joel hummed and went to the closet. He looked at the options, contemplating which ones would fit Nick’s frame. He really should’ve paid more attention to the man’s body.

His cheeks burned a little and Joel paused in his search. He shook off the feeling and grabbed a pair of faded light jeans.

“Here,” he said, shoving the clothes at Nick. Nick held them to his chest, eyes still wide. “Bathroom’s second door on the right.”

“Um, thanks.” Nick lifted the bundle he had and smiled.

It was bright. It confused Joel just a little. “Coffee?”

“Thanks,” Nick nodded and then shuffled off towards the bathroom. Joel went back to the kitchen and kissed the crown of Janie’s head.

“You’re a bad host,” Janie said between a mouthful of apple.

Joel rolled his eyes. “Okay.”

“Cocoa,” she reminded him.

Joel laughed and grabbed the materials to make her cocoa. He poured milk into the pot and put it on low on the stove, sprinkling cinnamon and salt in. Then he started the coffee pot and grabbed a wooden spoon, carefully stirring the warming milk.

“Dad,” Janie interrupted quietly. He glanced up at her, eyes widening at her worried expression. She wilted under his attention so he turned back to the stove, trying to quiet his heart rate.

“Yeah, Jane?” He feigned being distracted by the cocoa. He poured in the chocolate mix slowly, a tablespoon at a time.

“I’m sorry.”

Joel’s stomach flipped and his chest twisted. His arms itched with the urge to reach out. He wanted to grab her in his arms again and hold her carefully against his chest. She was still so young—even when she stomped around or talked on the phone for too long with her friends where she thought he couldn’t hear her. She was just a kid and his chest felt like it was caving in.

He turned the stove down and walked over to her, wilting be damned. “Janie, you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

To his horror, her eyes were welling with tears. He crouched down until they were eye level and repeated his words. She shook her head emphatically, the towel on her head shaking loose from the motion. “You told me not to go in the water.”

“Janie,” he said softly. He wrapped his arms around her and she melted into the hug, little hands fisting in the back of his t-shirt. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled, pulling back.

Though it made something heavy ache under his skin, he let her. He kissed the top of her head again. “Stop apologizing,” he said. “It’s all okay. Just don’t do it again.”

“Am I—interrupting?”

Nick’s voice snapped their attention from each other and Joel and Janie looked over to the edge of the hallway.

With one arm propped on the hallway frame and the other shoved awkwardly into his pocket, not to mention his bright red hair and blushing freckled face, Nick looked uncomfortably out of place in their small California beach house.

Joel’s t-shirt hung off of Nick’s frame, too big on his smaller body. The faded logo swallowed his chest whole. The jeans were a tighter fit than the shirt, but still dipped down a little. He lifted his hands to run them through his hair and his hip bones peeked out, sharp and angular.

Joel’s eyes snapped back up to Nick’s face. “No,” he shook his head, ignoring the way his fingernails dig into his palms. “They fit?”

Nick glanced down at his body, before nodding. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Good,” Joel said, turning back to the stove, turning the burner with the cocoa up a little and stirring carefully to make sure none of the milk burned. He flicked the coffee pot on and grabbed the cocoa from the stove, pouring it into a mug. Janie grabbed the whipped cream and marshmallows and started to doctor the sugary drink.

The coffee pot gurgled. They listened to it in silence. Joel watched as Janie struggled to take a sip of her drink, pulling away from the mug with a bit of whipped cream on her nose. She didn’t notice and he decided not to point it out.

Unsurprisingly, it was Janie who broke the quiet. “Nick,” She said, turning to him. He smiled at her, the look a little too soft, and Joel figured he was trying to decide if he should tell her about the whipped cream as well.

He apparently decided against it after a moment, smoothing his expression. “Janie.”

“What are you doing here anyway?”

His eyes widened and his lips quirked upwards, as if surprised. “In your house?”

She rolled her eyes and shot an exasperated, conspiratorial look at Joel, who returned it with a grin. He settled against the counter, crossing his arms and watching the interrogation.

He knew that this guy was just a really nice stranger. After all, he literally saved his daughter. He should probably intervene and return the favor and save him from his daughter.

But still. He kind of liked the nervous look he flickered towards Joel and the way he swallowed hard. Go get him, girl, he thought towards Janie.

As if she’d heard his encouragement, Janie tilted her head and hummed underneath her breath. “In Mendocino.”

Nick cleared his throat. “I just—was driving. And then I hit the water so I stopped.”

“You didn’t come here on purpose?” Joel interrupted, ignoring the way both heads snapped towards him.

“Nope,” Nick said, shrugging. “I just wanted to get out of Kansas for a bit and this was the direction I was driving.”

Huh. Well, that was certainly—adventurous.

Joel tried to remember the last time he’d done anything half that adventurous before. Maybe, at the beginning, with Angela—she was always up for anything. Joel, not so much.

“Oh, then you just got here?” Janie lifted the mug of hot chocolate up with both tiny hands curled around it.

Nick nodded. “Yeah, been here—what, thirty minutes?” He winked at her and she laughed.

“You should stay here!” She said suddenly, spinning around to Joel. Some of the cocoa splashed out onto her hand and she let out a little disgruntled sound, carefully setting the mug down. She wiped her hand on the towel still wound around her hair.

“That’s gross,” Joel pointed at where she was rubbing her hand. “I’m sure he already has a place to stay.”

“He just got here! There’s no way he had time between driving into town and saving my life that he booked a hotel.”

“He is right here and can hear you,” Nick muttered. Both ignored him.

“Jane,” Joel sighed. She cut him off with a look and he was only a little embarrassed his twelve year old could do that to him.

“Dad, he should stay here.”

Joel cocked his head at the same time that Janie did, both of them narrowing their eyes as they tried to read each other’s thoughts. Janie’s eyes were wide and her face was scrunched up in a serious imitation of her mother’s thinking face.

The comparison made his chest twinge and he sighed, realizing he’d already failed. He was so incapable of saying no to her. It was probably going to give her a complex that he was always so willing to cave. Without lifting his eyes from Janie, he said, “Yes. You should stay here.”

Janie let out a triumphant whoop, throwing her fist in the air.

The coffee pot gurgled its final push and he turned to it, suddenly desperately needing a cup. “Go get the guest room set up.”

Janie’s voice was still smug around the mouthful of marshmallows. “No, thanks.”

Joel turned and gave her his best look. It didn’t work as well as hers did, unfortunately. “Your guest, your set up. Go.” He added when she opened her mouth to protest again.

Janie sighed heavily and then hopped off the stool, squeezing past Nick and grumbling.

Joel finished pouring the coffee and handed one steaming mug to Nick, who had inched forward.

“I don’t have to stay,” he said, accepting the coffee. “Thanks,” he added.

“If you don’t want to,” Joel shrugged. “But you can stay tonight if you want. It’s already after five, you might not find a place.”

Nick frowned as if considering it. “Your wife won’t mind?”

Joel froze.

There was a brief second between the words and when he’s cognitively understood it. It was a lifetime, almost, in its brevity. It was the half moment where his body decided how he would take this sudden reminder.

Usually, he could handle it. It had been five years. Usually, it hurt like an ache and he moved past it. Today, though, with Janie’s terrified face still clinging to his mind, his body went the other way.

His veins filled, icy water spilling through his limbs. He could feel his throat clench and his lungs start to heave. Joel turned around, looking out the kitchen window. He could see the beach, the divot in the sand where Nick’s shoes probably still sat. He could see the water’s waves gently crashing against itself, where Janie had been just a few minutes ago. He reminded himself that this man meant no harm.

“She’s dead.”

Then, the predicted: an inhale of shaky breath, a slosh of coffee, a curse under his breath. A shapeless word that would eventually turn into an apology. Joel could predict the reaction of anyone who heard those two words. For five years, it was always the same.

Before Nick could turn the awkward breathing into words, Janie came bouncing back into the room. “All done,” she said. “You’re welcome.”

“Thanks, Janie,” Nick said softly.

“Come with me,” she said. Joel listened without turning around to their feet pattering through his house, down the hallway. Janie played the perfect host and Joel played as if still standing.

Joel looked out at the water. He wondered if he’d ever feel like he wasn’t drowning in the water. He wondered if he’d ever find shore.