Nick’s stomach churned.

The coffee that had tasted so good just a few minutes ago sat hot and heavy in his stomach, warming him uncomfortably.

He hadn’t meant to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. He shouldn’t have spoken up—he just kind of liked the kid. She was funny and cute and it wouldn’t have been a big deal to drive her to school.

But Joel was right. He was a stranger and just because he wasn’t a dangerous one didn’t mean Janie should be so comfortable with him. What if there was a dangerous stranger? She’d be all cuddly and cute with that creepy person just because Nick didn’t set her straight about the reality of a lot of strangers.

He didn’t want the kid to get actually hurt just because he liked her.

He considered how to word his apology, rolling a few different phrases around his tongue. There had to be a way to make sure Joel knew he wasn’t trying to be imposing.

Joel sat next to him, his plate clattering against the countertop and his mug following just a second later. Nick jumped both times. Joel glanced at him, eyebrows raised, before turning back to his plate. Nick turned back to his, too, and took a bite of his food.

It was a pretty good omelette—much better than his, that was for sure. Nick couldn’t cook if his life depended on it. If his best friend hadn’t been a chef, he probably would have gained a thousand pounds from frozen pizza. As it was, he still ate it at least twice a month.

“This is good,” Nick said, quietly. Joel hummed what could have been a thanks or agreement but didn’t quite make it to either. He finished off his eggs quickly, wincing every time he heard himself swallow.

Nick watched him out of the corner of his eye. Joel was hunched slightly, spine curving as he leaned over the counter. His hair was short, lighter than Janie’s, and Nick could make out what he thought was either a freckle or a mole on the top of his ear. He wanted to turn all the way, focus and figure out which one it was, but he didn’t think Joel would appreciate him blatantly ogling him from half a foot away.

Joel shifted, eyes darting over to Nick, and Nick swallowed quickly, looking away to pretend like he hadn’t been carefully frozen in his staring.

It was just—well, Joel was hot. Nick couldn’t be blamed for noticing that. It was fact and at this point, he was just stating it. Or, well, thinking it. He was just thinking facts. Not his fault.

“What?” Joel sat his fork down and spun the stool, propping one arm on the counter for balance. He pursed his lips, head falling into his hand. It was an entirely unfair image, especially considering how close he was to Nick.

Nick hopped off his stool, foot catching in the legs. His arms shot out out and he grabbed tight on the edge of the counter.

“Are you alright?” Joel asked, reaching out to help.

Nick waved him off, steadying himself with the other hand. His face was burning and he blinked rapidly. “Just—coffee. It’s done?”

Joel frowned at him for a long moment before his eyes flickered over to the coffee pot and back. “Yes,” he somehow drew the word out long.

“Awesome!” Nick lurched forward and grabbed his empty mug from near his plate and turned his back on Joel.

He refilled his mug and pretended like the skin on the back of his neck wasn’t prickling. “More coffee for you?”

“No, thank you,” Joel’s voice was still slow and hesitant, like he was worried Nick would freak out on him.

Don’t sit so close to me, then, asshole, Nick thought petulantly, forcing himself to turn around.

“Are you alright?” Joel was facing him now, his expression smooth and his hands folded neatly on the counter. Their plates were stacked on the edge.

Nick forced his muscles to pay attention and smiled. It felt tight but Joel’s eyes fell to it and he seemed to relax a little, so Nick figured it didn’t look too off. “I’m great, thanks.”

“You seem—odd.”

Nick quirked an eyebrow. “I forgot how well you can read me,” he said, deadpan. “What with our long and lustrous relationship.”

Joel’s lips twitched. He tilted his head, just a little bit, but it was enough interest that victory rushed through Nick’s veins in a triumphant gloat—it felt a little bit like being comfortable, but sharper. His smile widened and Joel’s smoothed out, but he knew it had been there. That was enough.

“Fair point,” Joel conceded. He unfolded his hands and wrapped them around his coffee mug instead, fingers curling. Nick tracked the movements and then stopped with a sharp burst of embarrassment when Joel cleared his throat. “I apologize for calling you odd.”

Nick waved him off. “It was close to being true anyway.”

This time, there was no mistaking it. Joel smiled at him. It creased his skin, little wrinkles around his eyes and mouth that showed his age. It hid when he was frowning, which was mostly what Nick had seen him do since he showed up. Even the other smiles Nick had seemed were tight, strict. But this smile, kind of bright and gummy, was different.

Nick hadn’t realized he’d been staring hard enough to notice that.

His palms itched and his chest twisted. He startled himself with a sudden realization. He was nervous.

Holy shit, Nick was actually nervous to be standing here, talking to this guy. Sweat startled to prickle at the edge of his hairline. “Janie says you’re a designer,” he blurted out, startling them both with the high octave of his voice.

Joel leaned back a little, a flicker of surprise on his face, but otherwise didn’t comment. “Yes,” he said. “I design houses.”

“Is that hard?” Nick almost slammed his palm into his forehead. His hand twitched but luckily stayed at his side. “That was a dumb question. Of course it’s hard.”

“It can be difficult,” Joel said, placatingly. “The real difficulty was getting the business started, though. I started working for myself instead of with construction and design companies when Janie was still just a baby.”

Nick could imagine that. A tired, rugged, sweaty Joel coming through the door with tools on his belt and smudges of pencil charcoal on his cheek, sawdust in his hair. He could imagine him scooping a baby Janie up, rocking them both to sleep, exhausted from their respective days.

He thought it would have been hard, being away that much. “Did you sleep?”

“Nope,” Joel grinned, shaking his head. “Would have probably fallen apart if it wasn’t for—”

He cut himself off and Nick couldn’t help it when his head turned, gaze shifting towards the photo on the mantel. “Your—Janie’s mom?”

Joel swallowed hard enough that Nick could hear it. “Yes. Angela. She was a real saint then.”

“She’d have to be,” Nick said, trying to keep his tone dual parts soft and light. “To put up with both of you. I’ve known you for twelve hours and I’ve already had to do one save and rescue.”

Joel looked up and Nick waited. His face was blank but his eyes were flickering across Nick’s face, searching again. He did that a lot, Nick noticed; searched for something that Nick didn’t know how to show him. So he just stayed as still as he could and hoped that Joel would like what he found.

Eventually, he let out a breath and his shoulders fell a little, relaxing just enough that Nick realized how tightly he must have been holding them before. “Yes, actually. I suppose Janie’s a bit of a handful.”

“I bet you are, too.” It slipped out before Nick could stop it and he felt his face burn as he quickly and too loudly said, “How is the work now?”

Joel’s smirk was minuscule but prominent. “Thankfully, it’s not too laborious anymore. I rarely do the physical labor nowadays, so I can mostly work from home.”

Nick figured that meant he was doing pretty well. Struggling business owners probably couldn’t outsource their labor. “What is your favorite part of it?”

“Oh.” Joel blinked, mouth snapping closed. He sat still, his face drawn in concentration.

Nick fidgeted as the silent moment dragged on. He frowned and gestured around pointlessly. “What, no one’s ever asked you that?”

“Well,” Joel shrugged his shoulders. The tips of his ears were turning red. “No, actually.”

Nick let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Well, that’s rude. But I’m asking now.”

Joel’s expression shifted into something unreadable. “Yes, I suppose you are.”

Nick took a drink of his coffee. It had cooled down enough now that he hid behind the mug, drinking slow and long while he waited for Joel to say anything.

“I don’t know,” Joel eventually said. He seemed frustrated by his lack of an answer, glaring down at the countertop as if it was the reason Joel couldn’t pinpoint his favorite part of his job.

Nick refilled his mug again and went back to sit next to Joel. “That’s okay. You’ll figure it out one of these days.” He clapped Joel on the shoulder.

Joel jumped and looked at him. He rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. “I’ll think on it.”

Nick nodded. “I’m sure you will.”

The radio played quietly in the background. Joel was nodding his head to the beat and Nick listened for a moment, recognizing it as one of Elvis’s songs. He didn’t know it but the music was fast and peppy, the kind that had his feet tapping a little on the legs of the stool. Nick imagined the music swirling around them and filling the space left in the kitchen. It was a nice idea, feeling it around them.

Joel mouthed the lyrics of the chorus.

“Do you like Elvis?” Nick asked.

Joel glanced at him and then lifted one shoulder. “Yes,” he answered definitively even as he shrugged off Nick’s question.

“I don’t believe that fake ambiguousness,” Nick told him.

Joel let out a laugh, sharp as if he hadn’t intended it. “No?”

“No,” Nick said firmly, trying to stomp down on his humor.

“Okay, maybe I like Elvis.”

Nick squinted his eyes at him, leveling him with his best attempt at his mom’s “no bullshit” look.

Joel’s head tilted back, exposing his neck, as he laughed. “Okay, okay. Fine. I really like Elvis.”

“I fucking knew it,” Nick grinned. He laughed soft, breathy chuckles, but it still warmed Nick’s stomach with happiness as if he’d been full belly laughing. Joel joined him after a second.

They fell quiet, just the buzzing of the radio and the soft sound of birds chirping filling the space between them. There were two french doors at the edge of the kitchen that were open and the wind was blowing the curtains a little, the soft sea breeze coming through. There was something about the house that cooled down the heat of Nick’s worry and embarrassment. He felt safe here in such an encompassing and surprising way.

Their coffees cooled in their hands as they sat together at the kitchen counter.

“What do you do?” Joel said suddenly, shifting in his stool to turn and face him. Nick turned and their knees bumped against each other, one of Nick’s legs slipping in between Joel’s accidentally as they tried to both fit in the small space. Nick’s breath caught in his throat and he focused all his attention on letting it out.

“What?” he asked, blinking.

Joel’s head tilted. The green of his eyes stood out starkly and his lashes curled longly upwards. It was pretty. Nick could practically hear Ash bemoaning the waste of them being on a man. He himself didn’t mind the waste all that much. Sitting this close to Joel, it didn’t feel like a waste.

“What is it you do? For a living?” Joel repeated his question and Nick worked very hard on not staring at his lips when he left them parted.

“Bar,” he managed to get out. Then he blinked and swallowed a groan of frustration. “I work in a bar. Or, well, I manage it. I’m a manager. At a bar. In Kansas, where I’m from. It’s an okay bar. Kind of dive but in a friendly way.”

Joel’s eyebrows raised. A muscle in his jaw leapt and Nick could see him struggling to keep his expression blank. “A friendly dive bar,” he said, deadpan.

It sounded ridiculous when he said it like that. His jaw locked a little. “It’s a great place,” he defended. “I like it.”

Joel raised his hands in mock surrender before letting one arm fall to the counter, propping his head up on his hand. “I believe you.”

“You don’t sound like you do,” Nick was being a little defensive, sure, but he’d dealt with enough assholes with fancy jobs that thought less of him for being more or less a bar back. He didn’t think Joel would end up being like that but really, what did he know about him? Liking his kid wasn’t the same thing as liking him.

Joel had one hand on his own knee, while his other one still held his propped up head. He wasn’t quite frowning but his mouth was drawn tight and his eyes were wide as he watched Nick. Nick wasn’t sure how to interpret the contemplative stare.

“I didn’t mean to offend,” Joel said after a moment. “I was just saying—friendly dive sounds like an oxymoron.”

“Maybe in your weird hippie California bars,” Nick said.

Joel’s frown shifted and he smiled that wide, gummy smile again. His leftover defensiveness melted out of him at the grin. There was nothing mocking in Joel’s expression. “That could definitely be true.”

“I like my job.”

Joel nodded. “That’s good. Not many people do.”

“You do,” Nick pointed out.

Joel considered him. “Why did you come to California?”

“Liking your job isn’t really enough all the time, I guess.” Nick shifted and their knees knocked into each other again. His head snapped up and he saw Joel looking down at where their legs were nearly intertwined.

“That’s true.” It sounded like Joel was murmuring but Nick couldn’t quite rule out the possibility that he was just hearing his blood too loud in his own ears to hear him properly.

His gaze dropped. Joel licked his lips and Nick watched with wide, unblinking eyes.

Vibrations tingled underneath Nick’s skin. His mouth was dry and he wondered how far he’d have to lean for him to be right in Joel’s space, to touch the other man.

Nick was possessed. He barely knew this guy, barely had spoken to him at all, and his entire body was straining to reach out to him anyway. It was an urge closer to an impulse than a desire and he twitched with the phantom feeling of short hair between his fingers, the ghosting of air across his lips that was a pressure much lighter than what he wanted.

He blinked. Joel swayed closer, eyes locking with his, and a hot flush of heat jolted through Nick’s stomach.

Then Joel’s eyes widened and they both startled as if they’d been shocked.

Joel straightened up and he cleared his throat. Nick’s heart hammered in his chest.

“I’ll get these cleaned up,” Joel grabbed the plates and flew off the stool, legs smacking into Nick’s painfully.

Nick hissed out and his palms fell to his knees as he squeezed them. His head whirled as if he wasn’t getting enough oxygen into his brain. It was entirely possible that he hadn't been, he realized.

Jesus Christ. He shakily spun his stool around and leaned his elbows on the counter, catching his too heavy head in his hands.

He felt like he’d been electrocuted.

Joel’s shoulders were straight and tall, his back a hard line as he scrubbed at the dishes in the sink. The way the kitchen was set up let Nick watch him straight on. The tips of his ears and the back of his neck were red.

Nick didn’t know what to do with that information, or with what had almost happened between them.

He filed it away for later and placed a hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart beneath his shirt.

Nick wasn’t quite sure what had almost happened between them—he couldn’t tell how much of the heat pulsating through his gut was from potential and from imagination. But he was damn sure going to find out.