Chapter 8.
The moment Rae’s plane landed back home, she decided to focus on the job interview.
However, she called her parents first. They didn’t know about her London trip, and she hated lying to them, but they would probably talk to Lisa and find out she’d been there. She told them the same story Nate told Lisa, and postponed dealing with the web of lies she got herself into. Thankfully, Inez was the one person she could always count on.
The job interview went great, despite the fact that she looked and felt like a train wreck. Nate sent her a short text minutes before interview.
“Good luck today”, was all he wrote.
After she got out of the building, she replied “Hey. It went well. The job is basically mine."
“Congratulations. You deserved it.” No xo this time, she noticed. This time it would really mean something; she thought ironically.
Rae filled in Inez on the phone about last 48 hours, so she came over to Rae’s apartment.
“I bear presents”, Inez lifted her arms showing a bottle of wine and Chinese takeout.
“Great. Where’s your bottle?” Rae let her in. After Inez had given her a much-needed hug, the two girls spent entire night sitting on the floor on pillows talking, drinking and eating. Rae told Inez all about Nate and expressed her concern about everything. Inez tried to make her feel better.
“Did he say he regretted being with you?” Inez asked.
“No.”
“Will he come back here soon?”
“He said he would.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about. It’s probably hard for him, too. You were kind of forbidden fruit to him, you know. Let him sort things out.”
That night, while lying in her bed Rae admitted to herself that Inez made good points. Yet, she had a feeling something was wrong. She was frightened because for the first time, she let her guard down and gave herself to someone completely. To the man she loved with all of her damaged heart. That realization didn’t come as surprise to her but it still made her eyes water.
*
Nate spent the next three days being poked and probed. Prof. Hendricks decided to make all the necessary and unnecessary tests, but he still had no information. Nate knew it meant nothing because doctors never say anything until they complete all the tests. Still, anxiety took over. The only thing keeping him sane was thinking over and over about the moments he spent with Rae. He knew it was very masochistic of him to think about it, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t heard from her since she told him about her job interview.
When professor urged him to see him in his office on Friday afternoon, Nate tried to make a joke.
“Is it so bad that can’t wait Monday or is it so good you don’t want me to wait?”
"Ok, wisecracker, just come here. You know I can’t do this on the phone”, professor replied.
An hour later, Nate was sitting in professor office.
“You want the good news or the bad news first?”
“Good. For a start.” Nate breathed in and waited.
“Well, I’m happy to inform you that you’re still cancer free.”
The feeling of relief hit Nate so hard he had to lean back on the chair.
“And the bad news?”
“Your immune system and your overall condition show signs of burnout, Nate. You’re under a lot of stress, sleep deprived, susceptible to infection... All in all, you need to take a break and rest.”
“That’s it?” Nate asked in disbelief.
“It’s serious Nate. You can’t afford to stress your body that much. It’s been through a lot,” professor explained and added, “Now, go home. I’ll email you the test results. And I’ll see you in a year or two.”
When Nate entered the hospital, he almost made peace with the fact that it will again become his residence. Now he could barely resist running through the door. After he was finally out, he breathed in the cold London air. He finally felt free. Free to go to Rae.
He pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket and saw a couple of missed calls from Lisa. He immediately called her back.
“All good sis.” Then he moved the phone away from his ear as he heard Lisa squealing with delight. He would probably do the same if he wasn’t in the middle of a busy street.
“Oh God, I’m so happy. Get your ass here, so I can properly hug you.” Lisa didn’t want to hear no for an answer.
“I’m coming sis; I’m coming”. “And then I’m going back home,” he added to himself.
*
At the same time across the ocean, Rae stared at her computer screen. She was used to checking mails and browse Internet on her phone, so when she turned on her laptop after a while and went to check her email, she realized Nate was still logged in. She remembered he used his laptop at her grandma’s house and wanted to log him off, but his inbox showed up on her screen. Rae wasn't one of those people who loved snooping around, and really had no interest going through his messages, but the top sender caught her attention. London Oncology Center. The subject was "Test Results". She found herself clicking at it not even realizing what she's doing.
A minute later, she quickly closed the lid of the laptop and jumped away from it as if it was a time bomb. Her thoughts went frantic. Nate has cancer. Or doesn’t, judging by the results. Why didn’t he tell me? He knew all about it when I was with him. He could die. Random thoughts went through her mind.
Upon realization of the situation, her whole world came crashing down. He didn’t think she could handle it. She thought of her as weak, too damaged to share that with her. He didn’t trust her enough. He didn’t even give her the benefit of the doubt.
She grabbed her phone and wrote, “Did you genuinely think I would fail you? That I couldn’t handle it?”
*
Nate went outside Lisa’s house to grab some fresh air. She was hugging him and serving him food for the last couple of hours, and he needed a break even though he loved her with all his heart. He reached for his phone to text Rae he was coming home soon. Then he saw Rae’s name on the screen and his heart skipped a beat. She sent him a message over an hour ago. He read it. The time stopped.
His fingers weren’t listening to him, and it took him what seemed to be forever to tap on her phone number. It was the longest ringing in his life. Then he heard a clicking sound.
“Rae! How did you..?” Despair took him over.
“You didn’t sign out on my computer,” she silently interrupted him.
The moving pieces of a puzzle suddenly fit together. She saw an email that he himself read just a few hours ago.
“Rae, listen to me.”
“No,” she interrupted him on the verge of screaming.
“I was there. With you. In your bed, in your arms. Did you asked me to come there just to make a booty call? To feel better for a little while?” Her words sounded harsh but they kept coming.
“Because it sure as hell wasn’t to have me by your side.”
Silence and beeping of a broken line returned Nate back to the cold London street.
“No, that will not happen. I will not lose her,” Nate told himself, trying not to panic. He turned to the house, grabbed his jacket and shouted to Lisa,
“Sis, I’m going home.”
A couple of hours later he was on a flight to the US, determined to get the woman he loved, even if it was the last thing he’d ever do.