I could still hear him moving around out in my bedroom, which made me acutely aware of my nakedness as I stepped into the shower. 

It had been pure boldness that led me to leave the door open. Was I insane? 

Or maybe I was drunk.

Drunk with the power this man made me feel. 

"He didn't try." I mouthed the words to my distorted reflection in the showerhead, seeing my own wide, shocked eyes reflected back to me. 

What he'd done... what he'd done to me, I knew it had to be a foregone conclusion what came next. And though I'd never done... that, before, I still knew enough about men or thought I did anyway, to know that I couldn't expect him to give like that without taking something for himself. 

I wasn't blind. I could see the hunger in his eyes, the way they'd gone almost black with need. I'd felt it too, the urgency pressing against my thighs, the long hard shape of him that was both thrilling and terrifying at once. And I'd felt an answering ache inside of me when it had brushed against me, like a hole had opened up inside of me and I needed him to fill it. I was terrified, it was true, but I was ready as I had ever been before but he'd just... stopped. And snuggled up beside me. 

And held me until I'd fallen asleep. 

And I finally, finally understood just how wrong I'd been about him. 

And if I'd been wrong about him, what else had I missed about the secular world and the people in it? 

Maybe I didn't need to be so frightened. I didn't want to be frightened. 

So this bright, brand new morning had me doing the bravest thing I could think of in that moment. 

I left the door open so Beau could shower too. 

Shower with me. 

When I heard his tread on the tile, I trembled. Just a little. Not out of fear though. I was done being afraid because I'd learned that, with Beau anyway...

There was nothing to be afraid of. 

He was silhouetted by the shower curtain, allowing me to watch him as he slowly slid his boxers down his hips. I sucked in my breath at the first glimpse of him. Even in shadow, he was beautiful. Even though he was a man, the word still applied. He was beautiful in the way a creek in wintertime was beautiful, with lines written by nature obscuring hidden power. 

"Rachel?" he said my name. 

I looked down and realized I was covering my breasts. Boldly - bravely - I let my hands fall to my sides. "Hi there."

"Is it all right if I come in?"

I wasn't frightened. I was smiling. "Yes." And just in case he needed as much reassurance that this was okay as I did, I put my hand up and in one quick stroke, I pushed the curtain to the side. 

Beau's mouth fell open when he saw me. I stood there, and I should have shivered, but the heat of his gaze defied the cool water of the shower. I was blushing, I could feel it, even as I looked down and took him in. 

He was fully naked. And fully - fully... I could think this word, I could say this word - erect. Yes. There was no other word for the way his... cock - I could say that word too -  stood away from his body at a rigid angle. My own mouth fell open as I forced - no it wasn't force - myself to gaze at him in the exact way he was gazing at me now. With my full, careful attention, I let my eyes slip along that impossibly smooth skin, noting how it went purplish as it neared the head. My hands twitched at my sides, greedy to touch it.

Beau saw. "You look good wet," was all he said as he stepped into the tub with me and shut the curtain behind him. 

All at once the space felt tiny. No matter how I shifted, I brushed up against his skin, so there was nothing to do but go into his arms when he opened them. It made perfect sense. "Good morning," I spoke into his chest. 

"Yes, it is." He let his hands slide up my back. "A very good morning."

That first kiss felt easy. Natural even. He kissed me like he'd been doing it forever, like there was nothing new or strange about standing with each other while fully naked. It was easy to be brave with Beau because he didn't call attention to the strangeness. 

So I kissed him back. Naturally. Easily. His smile curled across my lips even as his tongue slipped into my mouth. Minty - he'd brushed his teeth, and that fact made me smile right back at him. This whole thing, what should have been so scary, was making me smile instead. 

I was happy. When I was with him I was so - fucking - happy. 

"Mmm, I like you all slippery like this." He slid his hand down my arm, his fingers brushing the side of my breast.

My nipples tightened just from that slight grazing touch, starting the ache that I never seemed to be without these days. It was the ache that guided my own hands, slipping down from his shoulders and sliding past his pecs. His stomach tightened, and he hissed in a breath as my fingers sought downward and then - 

Yes.

Yes. 

"Fuck." He drew in a sharp breath when my hand closed around his... cock. "Rachel. Goddamn. Sorry for cursing but—"

"Don't." I stood on my tiptoes and caught his lower lip between my teeth, wanting him to stop apologizing. A fleeting thought to be frightened of doing this flickered through my head as fast as a lightning flash, but it was gone before I could grab ahold of it. 

Besides, I had ahold of something much better. 

"Holy." His words were muffled against my mouth. I nipped down a little harder, making him hiss, as I began to move my hand. It was some instinct that hadn't shown itself until right now. Maybe it was bravery. Or maybe I knew because of the way he was moving his hips, thrusting into my palm so that I could feel that slick skin moving inside of my grip. He, in turn, must have had some kind of instinct that told him what to do. How else would he have known the ache this was causing me. "So beautiful," he rasped against my lips as he slid his hand between my thighs.

The second his fingers made contact with my overheated skin, it was like a bomb went off inside of me. I shrieked against his lips, going up onto my tiptoes when he slipped that finger inside of me. It was tight, painfully so, until it wasn't. Until it was perfect and I needed more. 

And that's when Beau took over.

Some part of me was still trying to move my hand, still trying to be in control of what was happening, but he overrode me, spinning me around so that my back was against the cold shower wall. I yelped when he pushed me flat against the cool tile, then yelped again when he slipped another finger inside of me - "Oh! Oh..." 

A quick, bright flash of pain melted away, leaving only warm, spreading pleasure in its wake. His thick fingers were thrusting in perfect time - fast enough to give me the delicious friction but slow enough so that I felt it every time. I wrapped my hands around his neck and then...  and then I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer to me. The head of his cock just brushed against me. So close, so close. "Ah fuck, that feels so fucking good, angel," Beau groaned as he pulled his fingers away. I watched, rapt and completely dumbfounded as he slid his slippery... cock... along the soft folds of my most private place. The delicious friction, the tantalizing slide of it, had my knees quivering in a moment. I clung to Beau, crying out as he lowered his forehead to mine. The way his eyes fixed on me sent me right over the edge and suddenly I was shaking and quivering and then crying out. "Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes." Beau kept up a litany of quiet, strangled whispers, urging me to fall, and fall I did because I knew he would catch me. 

When I blinked back up at him, the water had gone lukewarm, but there was... there was still something. 

I closed my hand around him. 

"You don't have to," he rasped out, but I was already moving my hand again. His cock felt even more slippery in my hands and I realized with a start that it was from me - that was my slickness. "I want to," I reminded him, and I did. "I want to see you - uh - I want to watch..."

My words faded into a blush, but Beau understood. "You want me to come for you, angel?"

I nodded, licking my lips. 

"Here." He put his hand over mine, making me grip tighter. "Like that," he urged, guiding me to grip right up to that silky head. "You have to look at me. I want to see your face. Oh, fuck, Rachel." His lips fell open. I gasped when his cock twitched and somehow got even harder. "Rachel, I—"

His words were lost in a strangled cry. He jerked his hips back with a long, low groan, but I didn't avert my eyes the way he probably thought I would. I watched as he sagged against the wall and gasped with his strong shoulders heaving with each ragged breath. 

"Rachel," he finally whispered. He straightened up and then caught my mouth with his. 

The water had gone completely cold by then. But I barely noticed.