"No!"

I leaped to my feet, shouting before I could stop myself. No. I couldn't marry Levi. I didn't love Levi. I loved....

"No," I repeated. I looked at Levi. "I can't marry you." 

Tears swam in my eyes and in the watery haze, I swore I could see Beau's hazel eyes filled with pain. What had I done to him? I loved him, but I never even told him. 

And now I never would. 

"Rachel?" my mother hissed through her smile. "You're overwrought, I know. It's a surprise. You didn't mean to be so rude."

I blinked. Everyone in the room was watching me with varying degrees of horror on their face. I blinked again, remembering Rebecca's accusations. How my family had suffered because of me. "I'm sorry," I said, keeping my voice low so it wouldn't shake. I gripped my skirts in my hands. "I was just surprised because..." I seized on a glimmer of hope. "Mother, have you told Levi about how... how it's not possible for me to—"

"Providence has smiled upon us," she repeated with a wild gleam in her eye. 

Baffled, I stood up and looked at the man who refused to even look at me in return.

"Levi?" He jerked when I said his name. I tried to smile. He must have been as freaked out as I was. "May I speak with you?" I looked around at the room. "If we are to be married and all."

"I will allow it," Levi's father said. 

My own father glowered. "Ten minutes."

I nodded and ducked my head. Levi looked around as if he wanted someone to object, then glumly followed after me, 

I rushed out of the sticky, humid house and into the marginally less sticky, humid outdoors, then tried to take a deep breath. Without meaning to, I looked again toward the place where the detective had turned around. Even from way over here, I could see the deep ruts his tires had carved into the mud as he left this place. If I followed his tire tracks, they would take me back to Beau. 

And then I remembered that Beau wasn’t in Crown Creek anymore. He’d left to go record with Claire and his brothers… was it today? Time had swirled together so I could barely recall how many days it had been since I left. Was it today that he was going to New York City? Yes, it was.

Hope that I hadn’t even realized had flared in my chest like a candle lighting the gloom inside of me suddenly snuffed out. Beau was gone too, and I didn’t even know how long it would be until he came back. And what would I do when he finally did come? Explain that I had chosen obligation to my family over my love for him?

The family that was trying to marry me off to a man I had never met?

"Rachel?" Levi's voice was higher than I had expected. I turned to see that he was as tall as I was, with a noticeable stoop to his shoulders. 

But none of that mattered right now. "You really want to marry me?" I demanded. 

He looked taken aback at the direct question, but I didn't care. "Is this really what you want?" I pressed. 

"It's God's plan." 

I blinked at the desperation in his voice. "You really think so?"

"I've prayed on it," he said, even more desperately. Like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince me. 

"Right but..." Heat rose to my cheeks, but this was not the time to let shame get the best of me. "You know I'm barren, right?"

I expected him to rear back. Having children was the most important calling of a Chosen wife. But he only closed, then opened his eyes. "It does not matter to me."

"How?" I demanded.

"I was one of the fosters," he went on in that same dispassionate voice. "I feel a great calling to raise children like me."

"Oh." All the pieces clicked into place. If we raised fosters together, then my infertility wouldn't be an issue. In fact, we'd be greatly admired in the community. There would be a place for me. A future for me. This should have been a relief. "Then I guess it all makes sense then?"

"Yes, it does," Levi said firmly. He reached out his hand. "Shall we go for a walk?"

I looked down at his hand, stunned that he'd even consider it until he rolled his eyes.

"You are my intended. It is allowed."

"Right." I let his hand close around mine, feeling like I was committing a terrible betrayal. The simple slide of skin against skin made me ache for Beau, that hollow place that only he could fill opening wide inside of me again. 

Levi led us on an aimless walk around the fronts and then the backs of the houses along the main row. I wondered what he was doing until I realized. He was making sure we were seen. 

And we were. Up and down we walked in front of everyone, making it public. I looked and saw that my younger siblings were out now, playing with other kids and not being shunned. My parents were inside entertaining Levi's parents, and later Levi's mother would most likely help my mother prepare a meal while the men talked. When I returned, I restored my family's good name. Marrying Levi would cement it.

I had to do it. 

The weight of it settled on my shoulders. Once our allotted ten minutes was up, we returned to my house. At the bottom of the front stairs, Levi let my hand fall. Without that touch, my hand felt cold and I grieved the loss of contact. Something to hold on to. "Levi?"

He turned. I thought he might kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. I was lonely and heartbroken and I missed being kissed. 

"We'd better go in," my future husband said. And he turned his back on me and walked away.