“I realize now that when your heart breaks you got to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are and that pain you feel that’s life. The confusion and fear; that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there something is better. That something is worth fighting for.”

~Unknown

 

I’ve been back from break for two weeks, and this week has been hell. The number of sign-ups for tutoring has increased with finals coming. Between that, studying, and actually being able to see Mason, time has been tight. But, by some miracle, the ceasefire from Tegan and her cronies from before Christmas seems to still be in place, and I’m persona-non-grata.

I’m walking down the corridor to the study room, where I’m meant to be meeting Mason, when I hear his voice. Its muffled, but wow does he sound angry. I round the corner, and see him in the room with Evan. Yep, he’s angry. Now I’m closer, I can hear them both; it’s still muffled, thanks to the sound proofing on the rooms. I push the door open to see Evan shoving Mason, and failing. We've been back at school one week, and they couldn't last this long.

“What the hell is going on in here?” I shout.

Both of their heads swing to me.

“Nothing Erin, Mason was just leaving.”

“The hell I was; I’m here waiting for her, dickweed. You need to leave.”

“Mason fucking Knight – thinks he’s the big man about town now…” Evan growls, trying to get in Mason’s face, but Mason has a good six inches on him.

“Evan, you need to leave.”

I hold the door open for him. I never thought I’d see the day when I picked someone over him, but I can’t get over the jerk he’s become since I started hanging out with Mason.

“Are you kidding me? We’ve been friends forever, Erin and now you’re taking this douche bags side.”

“You’re damn straight I am, Evan. And since when have we ever actually been friends? I’m trying to get through the rest of this school year and right now you’re getting in the way of that. So, please leave.”

“Fine,” he huffs, grabbing his bag from the floor.

That’s when I hear two shots, followed by screams. I freeze as the blood runs from my face. They’re both stood staring at me, frozen, just like me. Seconds tick by and we stand there. Then Mason moves towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the door, closing it quietly, before walking me to the back corner. He motions to Evan to help him lift the table and put it in front of the door. Then they work together to tip another in front of it, barricading us in the room. They duck behind the table with me, one on each side of me while I sit and tremble.

“Please, tell me I’m imagining this, this can’t be real, right?” I whisper.

“We’re going to be okay, Erin,” Mason tries to reassure me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

“Okay? Dude, there is a shooter in the school! This is the shit you see in the news. What part of this is okay!” Evan shouts

I start to cry.

“Shut the fuck up, man! We don’t know where the person with the gun is – we don’t know if he just heard you. Fuck!”

“We need to get out of this room. We’re just sat here like fucking ducks waiting to die.”

“Yeah, that’s real clever genius; you just go running out there with no idea what’s going on.”

“Please, both of you. Just stop,” I say, as tears run down my face.

I don’t know the last time I was this scared. Mason pulls me closer and hugs me tight. For just a second I close my eyes and it’s as if everything is okay. Then I hear another muffled shot. Its louder than the last one. Whoever it is, is getting closer. Evan scrambles up and pulls the table away from the door causing a massive scraping noise.

“Mason, Scottie is out there somewhere. I just left her by the library.”

“I’m sure she’s okay, she’s not stupid. She would have gone to a designated safe place as soon as she heard the shots.”

“You guys can stay here if you want, but I’m out of here,” he yells, his eyes wild with fear before opening the door and darting out.

“Oh my God; we can’t let him go out there, Mason. We need to get him back here.”

“Erin, my main focus right now is keeping you safe. However, since he just probably alerted whoever is out there to where we are, keeping you safe means going out there. I’m not going out there to save him. We’re moving to keep you alive. Are you going to be okay?” He murmurs, anger simmering underneath his hushed words.

I wipe the tears from my face and nod, meeting his eyes. I can do this. I know I can. He takes my hand in his and grabs his bag with the other, putting it over his head so it crosses his chest, leaving his hand free. He puts his finger to his lips reminding me to be quiet before stepping over the table. He lets go of my hand and grabs me by the waist lifting me over it easily, then settling me back on the floor. He takes my hand again, pulling me towards the door. He opens it and ducks his head out. All I hear is deathly silence. I try to steady my breathing as Mason tugs on my hand, making me move with him. We walk hurriedly, but cautiously, down the corridor to the cross of halls in the middle of the school. I never really noticed how big this school was until right now.

“Come on, this way,” Mason whispers, pulling me left round the corner. We’re heading to the back of the school, towards Coach’s office, and the locker rooms; towards the back exit of the school and onto the football field.

We get to the boys’ locker room and Mason drags me in after him, before turning to face me. He looks down at me and squeezes my hand.

“We’re nearly there now, Erin. You’ll be safe soon.”

“Safe isn’t exactly what you are,” I hear a voice from behind Mason followed by a laugh that sends a chill down my spine.

Mason turns and covers me fully with his body, shielding me from everything.

“Josh? Man, what are you doing?” Mason says, his voice steady. I peek around his arm and see Josh Sanders stood in front of us, gun in hand. His white t-shirt speckled with red. Blood. I start to heave and clasp my hand over my mouth, forcing myself to calm down as Mason sidesteps to protect me again.

“What am I doing? I’m doing exactly what needs to be done. This school is full of uppity assholes who think they’re better than everyone else. Better than me. They need to learn. They can bleed too, just like me. Just like all of us.”

“You need to put that gun down. What is this going to do to your dad. He’s the sheriff. This is going to devastate him, Josh.”

“He needs to understand, too!” Josh yells and I can’t help the squeal that escapes me. “He’s just as bad as the rest of them.”

“They’re not all bad, Josh.”

“Don’t say that! Don’t be like them!” I see him start to pace, pulling at his hair.

“That gun is a glock-22. It carries fifteen in the clip. He’s only fired three times, that means there’s still twelve bullets in the gun, Erin,” Mason whispers to me while Josh paces in front of us, yelling. I don’t question how he knows that, I just accept it. “We need to get out of here.”

“You’re not going anywhere!” He points the gun at Mason and I grip the back of his jacket.

“Okay, at least let Erin get out of here? She doesn’t deserve any of this. She’s like you and me.”

“You’re nothing like me!” Josh spits. “They flock to you; you’ve barely been here ten minutes and they treat you with respect. I’ve been here my entire life, and they act as if I don’t exist. Not anymore! Do you have any idea what it’s like, to have your parents look at you with disappointment, because they know you’re a loser; to see that look in your dad’s eyes, and then again in your moms, right before she leaves for good!”

Mason sidesteps slowly, keeping me behind him, but I can see the room better now. I hear a noise come from deeper in the corridor, the squeak of a sneaker on the polished floor followed by a scream. Josh spins towards the noise and stalks between the lockers. I hear a squeal and then I see him coming back towards us, dragging a girl by the hair. He throws her to the floor at Masons feet and she looks up at us. Tegan. Her hair is a mess, mascara running down her face. I always thought I’d rue the day I saw her like this, but not today. Today, I just want us all to survive.

“This bitch was the worst of them all. This bitch is going to die.”

“Josh, come on. No-one else needs to die. You’ve made your point. People are going to remember you. They will know you. I don’t think anyone is ever going to mistake you for something you’re not, ever again,” Mason speaks softly. I don’t know how he can stay so calm, but I am so thankful for him.

“No! I’m not done yet, and if you don’t shut up, I’ll think you’re on their side.”

“I’m not on anyone’s side, man – I just want to get me and Erin out of here.”

“Erin? That whore. She chases around after Walker her entire life, begging for scraps of his attention, like he holds the fucking moon, then you show up and her puppy eyes turn to you. She’s as bad as them. She watched the hell I was living and did nothing. Get out of the way, Mason."

“I can’t do that,” he tells him, standing taller, trying to cover me fully, backing us up towards the wall. The door to the locker room bursts open and Evan appears with two other guys from the football team. Josh spins towards the door, gun raised. The two with Evan manage to run back out of the room before the door fully closes and I hear two more gun shots. They’re so loud my ears ring. I hear a grunt before the room goes quiet again. I look at Evan stood by the door, paralyzed by his fear.

“Evan, help me,” Tegan sobs from the floor.

“Shut up, you stupid little slut!” Josh spits at her, before ushering Evan away from the door. He goes to the floor with Tegan. I don’t think he’s even realized I’m here.

“What’s your plan here, Josh?” Mason asks, trying to take control of the situation again.

“There is no plan,” Josh laughs manically. “They just need to pay,” he says, waving the gun at Tegan and Evan.

“Please, don’t kill me,” Evan squeaks, putting himself behind Tegan. I have never been so disgusted in him in my entire life.

“Killing you is going to be a sweet, sweet joy. In front of your stupid plastic girlfriend, and the whorish puppy who has loved you since kindergarten.”

“Huh?”

“Dickface, get the fuck up and man up,” Mason growls at Evan, and that’s when he sees me and his eyes go wide. Josh lets out a weird giggle, before he points the gun at Tegan and pulls the trigger. I hear her scream and dart around Mason to get to her. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him.

“I need to help her, Mason!” I cry, as I try to struggle, but when I see her, I see it’s pointless. I watch as the blood pools in her chest. “Please, let me at least try,” I beg as he lets me go. I drop to the floor and pull off my hoodie, balling it up on her wound, applying pressure.

“Little Miss Goodie. Let me ask you something. Which one of them would you save if you had the choice? Evan Walker, star quarterback, your lifelong crush and utter asshole, or Mason Knight: new fuck on the block.”

“What?” I ask, stunned. He can’t be serious, right? Right?

“You heard me. You might have followed him around like a puppy, but they shunned you, too, just like me. But Mason, he was different. So, you get to pick who lives and who dies. One or the other.”

“You can’t ask me to do that!”

“If you don’t pick, I’ll shoot you instead,” he says pointing the gun in my face. I stop breathing. It feels like time slows down around me as I stare at the gun. Everything else fades away until there’s nothing but the gun in my face.

“Just kill her and let me go!” Evan squeals beside me, distracting Josh for a minute. Mason pounces on him and time speeds up. I hear a scream; I think it’s me as Evan runs out of the room while Mason wrestles with Josh. I’m rooted to the spot unable to move. That’s when I hear another shot go off and Mason falls to the floor on top of Josh. Neither of them move, and then I hear one more shot. Time stands still as I watch, unable to move. I hear Mason groan as he rolls off Josh. Metal skids across the floor as he bats the gun away.

I look down at Tegan, her breathing is slowing; my hoodie is covered in the blood and I can’t feel anything. I get up and run towards Mason.

“Oh my God, Mason. You’re bleeding.”

I fall to my knees and put my hands over the hole in his stomach.

“I’m okay,” he groans.

“No, you’re not! You’ve been shot!” I shout hysterically. I’m trying to keep my shit together, but the threads are unravelling quickly. I look over at Josh who has hold of his stomach. “You shot him, too.”

“I had to make sure you were okay,” he murmurs, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I hear shouts coming down the corridor, and the door bursts open. The room is flooded with police, yelling. The rest rushes past me in a blur as the paramedics come in and take Josh and Mason away. I just sit on the floor, the knees of my jeans soaked in blood. I try to wipe my hands clean on them but it’s no use. One of the police men tries to speak to me, but it’s as if I’m underwater and I can’t hear him right. He wraps his jacket around my shoulders and walks me out of the school. I look around to see there are news crews, police, ambulances, everywhere. And so many people. It barely registers other than the flashes from a camera and I’m led to a waiting ambulance. I get on without even really thinking about it and just sit as the doors close.